Intro — The Bump
TTC After a Loss


Hi ladies.  I'm coming over here from the August BMB. Before that I was active on TTGP.  
I spent 5 hours in the emergency room Monday night after some spotting at 5 weeks. I wasn't very concerned about it, but the nurse at my OB's office sent me as a precaution.  They did bloodwork and sent me for an ultrasound.  There was nothing visible on the screen, and even though the technician said it just might be too early, we knew that it wasn't good.  My HCG levels came back too low (7.8) and the ER nurse told us that I was having a miscarriage.   Her insensitivity was staggering.  She proceeded to ask if this was a wanted pregnancy, then started to lecture me about being almost 37 and ttc. She said because of my age, I would probably need fertility treatments, probably would miscarry again, etc.  Not once did she say that she was sorry for our loss. The nurse from the doctor's office that followed up with me on the phone was even worse.  She was really curt and clinical, made me feel like a chemical pregnancy wasn't a big deal. Then she told me to "have a nice day".
My boss has been incredibly supportive, and my mom has been amazing.  My MIL and FIL have tried, but went about it the wrong way. That's another story for another day, though.
I had a follow up appointment at the OBGYN and while DH and I are heartbroken, we do feel like we have some closure.  The PA that I talked to said that it was most likely a chromosomal issue, although there's no way to know for sure.  If we experience a second loss, we will push for testing.  We are going to take a break for a cycle (recommended by the PA), then we will try again.  

I am so sorry that we've all found ourselves on this path.  I hope that during my time here, I can offer support to you all as well. 💚


Re: Intro

  • Oh @emeraldduchess, I am so sorry to see you here.  Those nurses sound like real twatwaffles.  I’m sorry you had to deal with that BS on top of everything else.  I hope your stay here is short  <3
    Me: 31 DH: 31
      <3 DS born 6/2017, became a heart angel 8/2018 <3
    CP 3/2019
  • @emeraldduchess I'm so very sorry for your loss and your horrible ER experience. Also, please don't take what the nurse said to heart. When I met with my RE, so told me she wasn't overly concerned about egg quality because i was "only" 37 and women in their late 30's have healthy babies every day.

    Again, I'm so sorry you're here.  <3
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  • Mack2342Mack2342 member
    edited December 2018
    @emeraldduchess I’m sorry for your loss and the horrible experience at the ER.   My OBGYN has always been supportive of me. **** TW-LC*****i was 39 with my first pregnancy and it was normal pregnancy. My son is a healthy 3 yr old.   He was followed by 3 losses and I had the last one tested and it was due to chromosomal but bc two sperm fertilized egg.   I just wanted to give you some hope since I’m 43 soon to be 44
  • Thank you ladies so much.  I am not taking the ER nurse's words to heart.  She knows nothing about me, my DH, or our general health.  I don't know what she was thinking bringing any of that up.  The PA that I met with at the OBGYN was much, much nicer.  I think what upset me more about the ER experience was that DH and I were scared, visibly upset, and she couldn't seem to show us any compassion.  The nurse that gave me the RhoGam shot was lovely, though. 
  • edited December 2018
    @emeraldduchess I am so sorry to find you here. I am sorry you had such terrible treatment. I'll come back later but wanted to send you hugs for now.
  • I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm also sorry you were treated so horribly. One loss isn't any easier than another loss and it shouldn't be treated like that. I hope your stay here is short, hugs!!
  • I’m so sorry for your loss. So many docs and nurses just have the worst bedside manner! I had to leave my last OB bc of an incentive nurse. I’m glad that you had a better experience with the PA. Welcome to our group, but hope your stay is short!! 
  • @emeraldduchess Welcome to the group, but so sorry that you experienced this loss and find yourself here, it’s so difficult. I’m infuriated about the way that nurse treated you, I just can’t begin to understand how people can act like that. As if the experience you are going through isn’t hard enough, who the hell does she think she is?
  • Welcome to our group although I'm sorry you find yourself here. Be kind to yourself as loss can really be a roller coaster of a ride. 
    I'm sorry you had such ignorant idiots claiming to be medical professionals. Please don't take any of that personal. 
  • I’m so sorry @emeraldduchess! A loss is a loss and they are heartbreaking no matter what. I am so angry for you about what the nurses said! So incredibly rude. I’m thinking of you and sending love. 
    Me: 32 │ DH: 35 
    Married 8/16/13
    BFP#1 DS 11/13/16
    BFP# 2 MMC dx @ 13w 10/30/18
    BFP# 3 Preemie DD born at 38w (IUGR) on 8/28/19 weighing 5.5lbs. Our little miracle  <3

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