We are about 3 weeks from our D&E and I’ve been lurking until I felt like I was ready to be a more active participant. While we will not TTC until after body back on track and some testing with RE, I’ve seen so much love and support from this community that I feel like I wanted to participate and be part of that support system for others.
Short version is that we have been trying to start a family for about three years and find ourselves back here after a third loss (and two rounds of IVF retrievals). I put additional background on this most recent loss in a spoiler being a more difficult and controversial subject to talk about. I share because I’m wanting to be open about our journey in case it is helpful for others that may ever have to go through something like this, it’s not discussed much on these boards. Anyway, I hope my sharing this story is met with openness and not judgment. I look forward to being part of the board and hope that each of our journies here are short lived.
This most recent PG was a “surprise” in that we were supposed to FET our one PGS normal embie in Nov and had a natural PG instead. We knew chromosomal issues plague us but hoped for the best. An early NT scan at 11 weeks showed somewhat thick nuchal fold, but then just one week later we had NIPT positive for T21 and a second NT showing a much thicker nuchal fold and swelling and fluid all around the baby and chest cavity. Given the physical indications, it is unlikely the baby would have made it past the second tri or would be stillborn. We did CVS to confirm NIPT results and in the end made the decision to terminate the PG, I was 13 weeks. Given this child had T21 made our decision so hard because I know highly functional, fantastic children with Downs, but we just didn’t see that being the outcome for our little boy and made a choice we believe puts all of us at peace.
Re: Intro - *TW* Making Difficult Decisions
DS born 6/2017, became a heart angel 8/2018
BFP#1 DS 11/13/16
BFP# 2 MMC dx @ 13w 10/30/18
BFP# 3 Preemie DD born at 38w (IUGR) on 8/28/19 weighing 5.5lbs. Our little miracle
These circumstances are exactly as you noted...one cannot possibly fathom how they will react until faced with a given situation. As I hear various stories, they each have gone through their own circumstances and choose the paths to take. I just feel blessed I’ve had a very supportive system at all steps along the way. That is not the case for many and it’s so heartbreaking.