FFFC 12/14

mermaidca

I know we're one of the tamer BMB's, so....you got anything juicy??
**Quite possibly flame-free, it seems!!**

I love me some silver fox.  I've always gone for older men.

MRDCle

Girl. Yes. (though I'm married to a younger guy, ha)
 

sheknows6

+2 to a silver fox. They were sexy then and they're still sexy now 

MRDCle

OK I've been keeping this one this week - maybe more of a UO, but I prefer to be at a pool than on the beach. Our honeymoon resort had a gorgeous swim up bar where I could see/hear the ocean but I was in chlorinated water and don't feel as much like I'll drown. Plus I don't have sand all over me. 

mrstmoose

@MRDCle I don't swim in water that I can't see the bottom of. So it's either a pool or the Caribbean for me. 

I think blow ups Christmas decorations (or any decorations) in your yard and icicle lights are tacky as hell and all of them should be burned. 

mrstmoose

I also think buying gifts for your coworkers (outside of a white elephant or secret Santa thing) is ridiculous. We have enough people to spend money on during the holiday season, why buy for coworkers?

On that note, I also think it's dumb to buy for everyone in your family. In my family, my siblings and our spouses all draw ONE name each. For DH family, everyone buys for everyone. I'm an adult, if I want something, I will buy it. I think spending $25 for each gift for each SIL/BIL is a little ridiculous. I'd rather spend that money on my own children or nieces or nephews.

Ok, I *think* I'm done now.

MRDCle

mrstmoose said:

I also think buying gifts for your coworkers (outside of a white elephant or secret Santa thing) is ridiculous. We have enough people to spend money on during the holiday season, why buy for coworkers?

On that note, I also think it's dumb to buy for everyone in your family. In my family, my siblings and our spouses all draw ONE name each. For DH family, everyone buys for everyone. I'm an adult, if I want something, I will buy it. I think spending $25 for each gift for each SIL/BIL is a little ridiculous. I'd rather spend that money on my own children or nieces or nephews.

Ok, I *think* I'm done now.

THANK YOU. I have a friend who was like, talking about buying an air fryer for her boyfriend's sister and I'm like...OK it's a little bizarre to me that you're buying each other legit gifts. You're all grown ass adults. If you want an air fryer...buy it. I did buy my brother a face mask set from Sephora on Black Friday but that's like...10 bucks. And I have ONE sibling. We buy nothing for my BILs/SILs. There's too many. And we just do one gifts per kid secret santa style on DH's side, so like, $20 tops. 

I will admit though that I bought a gifts for two coworkers, but because they're like, friend coworkers. One I got some funny socks for and the other I got a My Favorite Murder calendar, but we've been working together at two employers and almost 4 years now. 

lyse01

Blow up decorations are tacky af, noisy, and energy sucking. Especially when MIL got a Halloween paw patrol one for DD...whyyyyyy. It has a giant character with a tiny pumpkin candy basket. It’s barely even Halloween. Oh, I also hate seasonal window clings and wall decals unless it’s like, a preschool classroom. And I HATE that she lives like a mile away and works a quarter mile away so I can’t even regift the f out of it.

Give me seasonal wreaths and some LED candles in the windows, maybe some seasonal flags. Nothing that takes up too much of my limited surfaces or is easily breakable by a toddler, please.

lyse01

@MRDCle I think swim up bars are overrated and overpriced. Like, where do I keep my credit card if I’m not charging to the room? And I feel super exposed sitting at a bar, tits out, in a way that doesn’t happen lying on a towel or pool lounge.

MRDCle

@lyse01 this was at an all-inclusive. DH would tip the bartender 5 or 10 in the beginning of the day and we could hang out there. I've only been to one other that hasn't been at an all-inclusive, and I wasn't buying drinks that day, so I can't speak to the price! Also, since it was AI - drinks were basically constantly flowing so I didn't mind being tits up to a bar or floating around with a drink all day! As long as I ignored the fact that I was one of the few people who got OUT of the pool to use the restroom  

lyse01

@mrdcle I went to some on deployment under six weeks from when I joined the unit. Definitely a different experience with new coworkers!

thatbaintforbetty

@mrstmoose @MRDCle I think that depends on the size of your family or gifting pool. We only do gifts for DD, my parents and 3 siblings, 2 of which are under 13. If it was any bigger of a number of people i'd probably feel the same. One of my roommates did it that way but there was like 7+ kids/step kids and significant others plus grandkids. Way too many people. (it may change when/if my siblings have significant others/kids, though since my one adult sister doesn't want any kids it's probably far off) We also generally have really low limits figuring if it's something big we will buy it for ourselves. Although sometimes we do go in on a big thing.

phoenix92885

I feel bad because I see the people it's effecting but I'm secretly happy my brother got sentenced to 10 years in prison back in October and won't get to meet my baby girl when shes born. I'm also hella angry that come February I'll have to testify against him again when I'm extra pregnant because the whole reason he's in this mess is because he assaulted me. (Before I got pregnant. Don't worry ladies, I literally broke his face and I just walked away with a bruise or two.) Thank God this kid won't have to meet her mess of an uncle for a while. I'm gonna make sure this little girl can defend herself and never take shit from any man.

MRDCle

@thatbaintforbetty yeah that makes sense.  We currently have 11 (next year 13, unless SIL gets KU again) and 12 cousins/sibs, plus 4 more adults in the older generation. It would just be tooo much. 

MRDCle

lyse01 said:

@mrdcle I went to some on deployment under six weeks from when I joined the unit. Definitely a different experience with new coworkers!

Umm yes.  In Mexico with my new husband a bunch of people I've never met before vs. with coworkers. I would have probably died, ha.

wildcosmiclove

My first BMB (from 2012) was SO dramatic, and honestly hilarious. The snark was high and some of the posters were just ridiculous. It was always a good distraction, lol. I was really surprised when this one turned out to be so tame. I do like the sanity of this board, but I also miss that good ole internet drama. I think most of the real crazies must stick to FB groups from the start now. 

emeraldisle17

@mrstmoose SAME SAME SAME.  I hate being the Scrooge but I really am starting to dread the month of December because the gifting has gotten so OOC (out of control).  I refuse to buy for ALL co-workers; I usually get my direct report a Starbucks or Amazon gift card, but it stops there. 
And same exact situation for my family and in laws; my siblings (there are 4 of us) draw ONE name out of a hat each (and it used to be the married couples counted as one, but my new SIL decided to overrule that this year because she wanted her own gift...umm excuse me? wtf.)  But DH gets for each of his siblings (slash you know who ends up doing the shopping...it's not DH) plus an extended cousin secret santa at a whopping $100 limit each. This is only our second Christmas season married but once baby comes along I'm going to have to put my foot down next year - enough is enough!! 

wildcosmiclove

And yes, I hate feeling obligated to buy gifts for every single member of our families, so this year we just are not doing it. And opting out has brought a little more sanity to the holidays this year. 

kosmo86

lol I guess I am a SS. I love my outdoor Christmas lights. I also plan to get my coworkers something. Buts just a $5 thing of chocolates and a scratch off and there are only 4 of them. 

But we don't buy a ton of Christmas presents. We get small sentimental things for our families and then we only get SIL kid a present and BIL a present. 

mrstmoose

@kosmo86 we hang up lights but they are white lights, not anything super nuts. 

Talking over on the randoms board made me think of another. If my hangers don't match, I throw them away. All of our hangers HAVE to be white. My MIL bought pink hangers for DD and they are pushed to the far depths of her closet so I don't have to even see them. Wire hangers? Random color hangers? GET RID OF THEM PEOPLE!

blueberrymomma

@MRDCle I swam competively for 14 years and still coach and I 100% prefer a pool to the beach. I hate Sand and not being able to see the bottom. I also I feel less stressed taking the kids to a pool vs a beach. 

Ive never bought gifts for coworkers but I love baking a bunch of Christmas cookies so I usually give everyone  a plate of cookies. 

kangstadt

@phoenix92885, that has to suck majorly in a multitude of ways - I can't imagine ever dealing with testifying at court, much less pregnant.  Good for you for sticking up for yourself.

As far as gift exchanges go, I totally agree if you have a big family with adult siblings, it's insane to buy a gift for each.  We don't do adult sibling gifts anymore, just a cousin exchange for the grandkids, and my parents still buy for those of us who will be there Christmas morning.  I do usually bake a big batch of cookies to take in to coworkers though because I enjoy it.

lilpotatomama

I think I have a good one! 
Havent had sex since July 🤷🏻‍♀️ That crazy sex drive some pregnant women get? Nope. Not here. I couldn’t possibly feel more sexless if I tried. 

mermaidca

@lilpotatomama If H would stop pawing at me I'd be in the same boat!!!  

Maybe that could be my FFFC - I think I could go the rest of my life without sex.  It's fine, and H is good and knows what he's doing, but it's not something I feel I need.

lyse01

Me, at 4 am: DH, go to sleep. You’re going to be grumpy pants in the morning.

DH, all day today: *total grumpy pants* why is our toddler waking me up at 9 am? Why is she getting into everything? Why are you trying to do the taxes on the computer during her nap? Why can’t I nap after her nap and while you normally make dinner? Why aren’t you getting anything done?

me: 🤦🏻‍♀️😠😡😤🤬

phoenix92885

@lilpotatomama and @mermaidca my libido was super high before I got pregnant. It stayed the same through the first trimester but this second trimester has been full of surprises. My poor boyfriend didn't quite catch the hint that I wasn't shaving my lady bits so maybe he'd catch my drift that I wasn't interested since I usually like it well maintained down there. Nope it didn't throw him off at all. Instead it lead to him making jokes and me having a hormonal break down over bush jokes. When my hormones chilled out and I decided to groom said lady bits, I had the shocking realization that we loose visual of HER before we lose sight of our toes. 

thatbaintforbetty

@lilpotatomama I haven't had sex with DH since this kid was conceived. Technically my doc lifted the pelvic rest but she did so in a way that was probably missed by DH and i am not really feeling like enlightening him about it right now. I have taken care of myself once or twice since being off it but even that was kinda a hassle so i don't really have a desire for the whole shebang.

Maybe when we get towards the end and i want this kid out, but for now he can take of himself. I know he understands and we've gone longer then this. 

Bringmemylongswordho

If I were in a situation where I absolutely hated my neighbors, I would have the tackiest, most obnoxious Christmas light and yard display allowable by county ordaninces. 

aqualicious

MRDCle said:

OK I've been keeping this one this week - maybe more of a UO, but I prefer to be at a pool than on the beach. Our honeymoon resort had a gorgeous swim up bar where I could see/hear the ocean but I was in chlorinated water and don't feel as much like I'll drown. Plus I don't have sand all over me. 

I’m so with you!  My reason is that I’m terrified of fish.  I also don’t love having sand all over me. 

kangstadt

@Bringmemylongswordho, our neighbors put up a giant wooden cross in their front yard and a spotlight pointed at it that always shone in our bedroom window... I joked with DH that I was going to put a giant wooden pentagram in ours.

(*totally don't care what anyone's religion or belief system is, I swear, my bigger issue was the blinding spotlight on it )

tmblickley

Personally not a fan of inflatables, but DD likes them so we visit the neighbor's lawns so she can enjoy. And I get the benefit of not having to store them!

Bringmemylongswordho

kangstadt said:

@Bringmemylongswordho, our neighbors put up a giant wooden cross in their front yard and a spotlight pointed at it that always shone in our bedroom window... I joked with DH that I was going to put a giant wooden pentagram in ours.

(*totally don't care what anyone's religion or belief system is, I swear, my bigger issue was the blinding spotlight on it )

I mean, I'm Christian, and I certainly would have considered putting up pagan decorations in response. 

lilpotatomama

I kind of love inflatables. Not when yards have 20 of them and look tacky. But I’ve seen some super cute ones in my parent’s neighborhood this year. 

I’m glad I’m not the only one who isn’t super into sex right now. I’ve just alternated between having an infection/being too sick/being too tired and now I’m doing okay... but I still don’t want it. Oh well. DH can live for now! 

mesweettea

I have an unpopular opinion/confession that I was thinking about instead of sleeping due to hearburn last night:

I hate weddings.
I would happily never go to one for the rest of my life.

1. They're too big; any party over about 10 people means that people don't know each other, and don't know how to interact, and you don't really get to spend much meaningful time with people. So it's just a stupid small talk gathering? Ugh no.

2. The ceremony. I generally hate ceremonies, but I especially hate wedding ceremonies. Even for my closest friends, I don't know the inner workings of their partnership... so then why are they standing in front of me talking about very serious deep promises to each other (and often God, another intimate relationship to them which I probably know even less about!). Weird, and awkward. I always end up crying, but that's because I'm thinking about my own important relationships, not usually about the people getting married. I don't get it.

3. But more than anything, I hate wedding culture in the US. It's so superficial and expensive, and just bugs me. People who don't care that much about themed parties and dresses and details like floral displays either suddenly care or have to pretend to care because it matters SO MUCH to everyone else. Caring about one stupid dress -- why? Wearing [expensive] matching outfits with your adult friend besties is actually a super frustrating thing to ask people to do and the result is kinda weird. Obsessing over table decorations? Boring. Fancy cakes -- oh okay well I can get behind a fancy cake, as long as it tastes good as well...
but anyway, I hate it.


Do I attend weddings and try to be a good guest? Of course. Did I get married? Yes, my partner made it a requirement in order to marry him. Do I want to talk to anyone about it who wasn't invited/there? NOPE.


#mondayrant #scrooging


Anyone want to try to convince me why I shouldn't be cranky and bitter about these glorious events?

MRDCle

mesweettea said:

I have an unpopular opinion/confession that I was thinking about instead of sleeping due to hearburn last night:

I hate weddings.
I would happily never go to one for the rest of my life.

1. They're too big; any party over about 10 people means that people don't know each other, and don't know how to interact, and you don't really get to spend much meaningful time with people. So it's just a stupid small talk gathering? Ugh no.

2. The ceremony. I generally hate ceremonies, but I especially hate wedding ceremonies. Even for my closest friends, I don't know the inner workings of their partnership... so then why are they standing in front of me talking about very serious deep promises to each other (and often God, another intimate relationship to them which I probably know even less about!). Weird, and awkward. I always end up crying, but that's because I'm thinking about my own important relationships, not usually about the people getting married. I don't get it.

3. But more than anything, I hate wedding culture in the US. It's so superficial and expensive, and just bugs me. People who don't care that much about themed parties and dresses and details like floral displays either suddenly care or have to pretend to care because it matters SO MUCH to everyone else. Caring about one stupid dress -- why? Wearing [expensive] matching outfits with your adult friend besties is actually a super frustrating thing to ask people to do and the result is kinda weird. Obsessing over table decorations? Boring. Fancy cakes -- oh okay well I can get behind a fancy cake, as long as it tastes good as well...
but anyway, I hate it.


Do I attend weddings and try to be a good guest? Of course. Did I get married? Yes, my partner made it a requirement in order to marry him. Do I want to talk to anyone about it who wasn't invited/there? NOPE.


#mondayrant #scrooging


Anyone want to try to convince me why I shouldn't be cranky and bitter about these glorious events?

To be fair my wedding and most I've been in were just hey get a dress this colorish and this length. I think two of my maids wore dresses they already had and the third bought a dress for about $30 on Amazon the week before. My boss did our floral arrangements with flowers from Trader Joes, and like you said, cake is just great. I agree there's a lot about current wedding culture that is VERY over the top, but you can definitely do things within a budget. 

blueberrymomma

@mesweettea I feel indifferent about weddings. I like to get dressed up with DH but I’m usually bored.  I’m always dissapointed when the cake isn’t good at a wedding. I was at one with these amazing looking cupcakes and ANTS started crawling out🤢

phoenix92885

 I kinda agree on the wedding thing. I was in two of them this year as a bridesmaid. Spent over 500 bucks easily on dresses and alterations this year. Never had the cake at either wedding. Got a decent buzz at the first one but was pregnant at the second. Had a great time getting ready and doing pictures. I'm not a fan of long drawn out ceremonies. My childhood best friend had to do a religious drawn out wedding. Although the bridesmaid I was by ended up fainting (her shoes were too tight) I had to catch her during the ceremony. But in true latina form, the ceremony went on. Weddings can be a lot of work but I guess they can be fun too with the right people. I haven't attended a wedding in a while when I wasn't part of the wedding party. 

gollygeeitsamy

@phoenix92885 that makes me appreciate that when I was 6 months pregnant with DD I was a bridesmaid in a long drawn out ceremony and we got to sit during 90% of it.  I don't know why more people don't do that if it's gonna be a long one. 

@blueberrymomma oh lord that's gross. I bet that bride was mortified. 

mesweettea

@MRDCle True, and I know many ways that friends and family have tried not to spend tons of money on weddings. But it does seem like being conservative about spending related to this particular type of party is portrayed as abnormal.

@blueberrymomma Ants are just a little extra protein.

@phoenix92885 So... what I'm getting at from your take on this: best case scenario weddings are entertaining ordeals to look back on because you had some good people by your side during the event? Worst case scenario, weddings are just kinda lame and boring?

I am really being a negative Nancy about all this, though. I don't mean to say that I've hated every second of every wedding I've ever been at. They just don't seem worth all or even any of the hype that they have and I could gladly do without them.

rennie1108

phoenix92885 said:

@lilpotatomama and @mermaidca my libido was super high before I got pregnant. It stayed the same through the first trimester but this second trimester has been full of surprises. My poor boyfriend didn't quite catch the hint that I wasn't shaving my lady bits so maybe he'd catch my drift that I wasn't interested since I usually like it well maintained down there. Nope it didn't throw him off at all. Instead it lead to him making jokes and me having a hormonal break down over bush jokes. When my hormones chilled out and I decided to groom said lady bits, I had the shocking realization that we loose visual of HER before we lose sight of our toes. 

Hahaha this is awesome!! I was just talking with my coworker (who is a good friend as well) about getting the number for her wax lady. I've never had anything professionally waxed, but it's getting pretty tough to see down there. I don't like to go completely bare, but I think I'm going to need some help soon. And honestly, it's not even for DH - shit just gets itchy when it grows out! And I don't want to have a wild 70s bush. But I'm not all that excited about a woman - who isn't my OB or midwife - getting down there with hot wax.

mermaidca

Be careful @rennie1108 I remember hearing something about getting waxed down there when pregnant.  There's a lot more blood flow and your skin is more delicate?  That could be an old wives tale and maybe if your lady is experienced it's ok.  I agree with you, I don't want to rock the 70's look but I'm not really willing to get waxed again - I hate it.  And I don't think I want to push my relationship with H that far, a little mystery would still be good....haha!