I don't get why people call their young children a**holes. Like, "My toddler was being a real a**hole today." To me, that word is not something you call little kids. I'd be really upset if I heard my parent referred to me as that when I was little and didn't know any better.
The whole princess/prince royalty stuff in fairy tales makes me cringe and I will not allow it in my home. In reality, what is their purpose other than to be given a free ride of millions per year from hardworking taxpayers so that they can put on a show and act as philanthropists. So many more people work for non-profits, baring making wage fighting for the rights and welfare of others and do so without being worshipped and adorned by priceless gems.
First off, I don't want to offend anyone but why do we lie to kids and make them believe in Santa and tooth fairies and whatever else. I believe Christmas can be enjoyed without telling a kid, 'oh you better be good or you won't get gifts from Santa'... Why can't the kid know that his/her parents work hard to get them gifts for Christmas? It's not some big guy dressed as Santa .. Maybe this is just me. Don't flame me guys!
I think American football is the most boring event on the planet, and I'd rather watch paint dry. It is just a bunch of people running for 0.5 second, all falling down, and then 15 minutes of them standing around talking. Rinse and repeat. I. do. not. get. it.
@babyginjuly, I think the idea of Santa helps creates so much excitement and magic for kids. I don't ever remember feeling betrayed or upset when I found out the truth. I actually don't think I have ever met a single person who said they felt lied to about Santa. But I do remember the giddy excitement of laying in bed, hearing the bells my dad would go outside and jingle to convince us Santa was on his way. My 4 year old gets it this year and seeing her excitement is so awesome, it's making me remember how magical this time is for a kid.
@hestia14, I refer to my 4 year old as an asshole on the regular. Not to her clearly, but to friends or DH. Because...she's an asshole sometimes.
My UO is that I really dislike breastfeeding. Not because I find it hard or have a low supply, I just don't enjoy it. My sister would have 10 more kids if she could afford it just to be able to breastfeed for the next decade, she loves it. I have never found that kind of joy in it.
Momma to Amelia Marie (7/14) and Austin Samuel (11/17). Adding baby (girl) #3 on 7/21
@babyginjuly - I once felt the same way about Santa, and I completely understand where you are coming from. Then I read an editorial by a woman who didn't specifically encourage Santa, but she didn't shoot it down either. She just let society feed her kids the Santa stuff and semi-played along by putting out a Santa gift. If the kids asked her questions about how Santa did this and that, she would just respond with, "What do you think?". She used it as an opportunity to let their imaginations run wild. Then one day, her 10 year old son asked her if Santa was real, and she said, "What do you think?". He rationed out for himself that Santa isn't real, but that the love/joy/magic of Christmas is. I thought it was beautiful to let kids make Santa into their own thing, and I decided that is how we will approach it.
@ameliabedelia-2 I feel the same way. I had issues with milk not coming in the last time. This time I am formula from day one. I really have no desire to breast feed.
I call my kids turds to their face and have definitely called them assholes and shits to my husband and my friends. Totally get it's not for everyone but like @ameliabedelia-2 said, they act like assholes and shits sometimes. It doesn't change how much I love them.
I have BF all 4 boys till just over a year. I did it for convenience and because it's cheaper. I don't love it nor hate it.
Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader. , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
@strickland8052 This, I don't have a problem with at all. It's the comfortable middle ground I didn't know I was looking for. I wish you could find the article!
@babyginjuly - I found it! Not sure if I can post links here, but google: "Santa Claus - the ultimate dry run by dale mcgowan". Heads up in case you are religious: This is written for atheist/agnostic parents. It was part of a book on how to raise good kids without religion. But regardless of your beliefs, I think it has some great points on how Santa can help develop imagination and critical thinking in kids.
Also, rereading it, I think I summed up the article horribly and got a lot of facts wrong. It had been like two years since I read it, and I think I merged it and another article in my mind. Sorry!
@strickland8052 I'll need to find the book it sounds like. Hubby grew up in a very Jewish family and I grew up in a very Muslim traditional family. We are both Non religious and just believe in being good human beings. We have had many talks on how we raise our children without religion. Thank you for sharing!
@ameliabedelia-2 I am afraid I'm going to hate it. The whole thought just weirds me out tbh. I'm gonna try because of benefits, cheaper, etc. but I have no qualms supplementing or switching to formula if needed. My sister and I were both formula babies and we're fine lol.
@babyginjuly We did Santa gifts growing up and I loved the surprise! I have no memories of having conversations about Santa with my parents (not that we didn't, it just made no impact on me) and knowing my mom, I'm sure when I eventually asked she just told me the truth. I like the approach above, of just letting them figure things out on their own....the thought of making up some elaborate lie is not appealing.
@babyginjuly - The full book is called Parenting Beyond Belief: On Raising Ethical, Caring Kids Without Religion". It is SO good for non-religious people. It covers everything from handling loss to dealing with religious family members to holidays. It never gives just one answer, but it is more so a collection of different opinions (for example: there was also an article in it that argued that Santa was the worst thing ever for kids). My husband and I are kind of like you guys. He was raised extremely Catholic, and I was raised extreme evangelical Christian. Now we are both non-religious.
@strickland8052 I have to check that out. We are the same as you and your husband in terms of how we were raised and also how we plan to raise our kids.
This came up another week but I dislike how organized everything is on the board. Makes conversations hard... and check-ins everyone mostly just posts about themselves. We should at least have a daily randoms IMO.
@Happyin14 I agree that checkin threads haven’t been super interactive but I still would rather have regularly occurring threads then all one-offs and repeats. I also think it’s still early though and everyone is getting to know one another. We will get a flow and more conversation going with time.
@strickland8052 I am definitely going to get that book! It sounds right up my alley. MH was raised Catholic in the sense that they went to church 3 times a year and I was raised atheist.
@Happyin14 my old bmb had both weekly check ins and a weekly randoms thread. I haven't been on here long enough to get a sense of the flow, but it was nice having both. Some weeks I couldn't keep up with the randoms thread, so having the weekly check ins were still a nice way to at least keep up with the ladies who had due dates around mine.
AFM, I really dislike the gift giving aspect of Christmas. Growing up we were so focused on presents that it kind of ruined the holiday. MH and I never exchange gifts for birthdays or anniversaries and I hate the pressure around this time of year to get gifts. If I have to get one more $20 piece of junk for a white elephant, I might lose it.
Me 30 Him 30 Married August 2015 DS born 5/23/2018 TTC #2 July 2020
My UO is when people rain on other people’s “early bump/showing” parade.I don’t claim to have an early bump or “showing” (FTM and I’m only 10+3) but feel bad when others are excited about their changing bodies and are told they’re “just bloated.” So what? They’re excited, let them be happy. We should lift each other up and not minimize this new and exciting experience. Not to mention everyone has a different body type/size, so you really don’t know. If someone wants to wear maternity pants at 8 weeks, go for it! Just my two cents!
One more UO - I am dreading announcing to my large extended family at Christmas that I am pregnant. I hate having the attention all on me, and I’m sure it will be great and exciting but I know I’ll be mentally exhausted afterwards. I’m an introvert through and through! 😂 I am however excited for everyone to know (including social media) so it’s out there and I don’t have to keep thinking of clever ways to tell people! Haha
@rgn12, most folks absolutely advocate for comfy maternity pants! Even for the bloat.
It is a weird thing... but STM+ find it annoying. For some reason. And we do know it’s not a bump. You are right that we generally shouldn’t care but it’s irksome. Maybe it’s a “don’t rush your first pregnancy because it goes fast enough” thing? Shrug.
@happyin14 I definitely get that. It’s a different place to be in for sure. I can also see how it might be annoying to see people claiming they have a baby bump when it’s not really there yet. I just feel bad for the super excited ones, even if it’s a bit premature! I will personally welcome a slow and gradual bump, as I dread the day I’m waddling around lol 😂
I know I'm completely guilty of calling people out about early bumps.
For me, I remember being a FTM and thinking I was totally showing and totally at 10-14wks and then realizing later, when I actually had a real bump, just how wrong I was. I guess it's kind of turned into a pet peeve sort of but so not really.
Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader. , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
@indulgentgypsy I second you on the elf on a shelf opinion. The thing just creeps me out. There will be no weird elf (or Santa) "watching" my children.
@blackhottamales I also second your chocolate opinion. I always opt for fruit flavored candy and I think when chocolate is added to anything it overpowers everything else.
@strickland8052 I'm totally checking out that book. Thanks for the random mention! @babyginjuly, my parents only gave us things in our stockings from Santa. Candy, socks trinkets, etc. The good gifts were always from them. I learned later on that was intentional as part of showing work ethic and whatnot. They didn't want us thinking a mythical being was going to give us what we asked for every year. Looking back, that was a pretty non-religious approach.
My UO is that I don't like beer. I will only drink it when mixed with Zing Zang bloody Mary mix.
@Happyin14 how exactly do you think the boards should run? What goes in weekly randoms/check ins/etc? No judgment, legit asking since I'm new to the bump.
I don’t think the board is overly organized at this point. I like the weekly check in, appts,symptoms, Randoms, etc. I feel like a week is a good length of time to have a thread. I don’t mind if people start other threads though. Someone asked about thyroid issues in the symptoms thread, and it was suggested they start a separate thread for that. I think that’s fine, because even though it’s a symptom, it’s a more specific symptom that might get loss in the symptoms thread. It’s not fun though to see multiple threads about pretty normal, everyday symptoms, when there’s already a weekly thread dedicated to that.
@nolemomma14 I agree. I finally started one about acne and skin care because I saw a bunch of people struggling hormonal acne but not a good place to talk about. I asked questions in the symptom threads a few times but didn’t get a good response (I think it got lost amongst all the symptoms/questions). I think if people did a quick scan of existing threads it could eliminate duplicates, but still give people a separate place for specific issues that could be added upon throughout our pregnancies if needed. The symptom threads get long sometimes!
@cindler, I’d rather it’s not “run”. Which yes means you’ll get weird drive-bys but those can be fun!
@nolemomma14, that was me! And part of the reason for the UO. I don’t really know when new threads are “allowed” so I didn’t. And almost didn’t even ask the question because it didn’t fit into a category. When someone else posted a similar type of thing, they were directed elsewhere.
Im not upset or anything. Not a big deal... but also would love to get to know mommas in other threads. And talk about more than baby stuff but all the check-in’s are a lot to try and participate in.
@Happyin14 I get that! I feel like the start of BMBs are usually a bit awkward with people not knowing where to post certain things. I think you should definitely start a thread in regards to your thyroid question!
Im all for other threads outside of the weekly check ins we’ve already established! You’re definitely right, that no matter how organized a board is, you will still get drive by posters, and they can be entertaining! My J17 board had a random poster come in with a pretty incredible story about her pregnancy and mixed in was something about how she woke up one night and there was a single spot of blood on here bed and she had no idea where it came from, but she was super worried it could be from the clown murders that were occurring back then. We still discuss that from time to time, because it was so absurd!!
hestia-is-wearie
member
Re: UO Thursday 12/13
ETS: If I had an elf, it would do dirty disturbing things the children would not be allowed to see. No normal elf for me, that is too boring.
@hestia14, I refer to my 4 year old as an asshole on the regular. Not to her clearly, but to friends or DH. Because...she's an asshole sometimes.
My UO is that I really dislike breastfeeding. Not because I find it hard or have a low supply, I just don't enjoy it. My sister would have 10 more kids if she could afford it just to be able to breastfeed for the next decade, she loves it. I have never found that kind of joy in it.
I have BF all 4 boys till just over a year. I did it for convenience and because it's cheaper. I don't love it nor hate it.
, 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Also, rereading it, I think I summed up the article horribly and got a lot of facts wrong. It had been like two years since I read it, and I think I merged it and another article in my mind.
@Happyin14 my old bmb had both weekly check ins and a weekly randoms thread. I haven't been on here long enough to get a sense of the flow, but it was nice having both. Some weeks I couldn't keep up with the randoms thread, so having the weekly check ins were still a nice way to at least keep up with the ladies who had due dates around mine.
AFM, I really dislike the gift giving aspect of Christmas. Growing up we were so focused on presents that it kind of ruined the holiday. MH and I never exchange gifts for birthdays or anniversaries and I hate the pressure around this time of year to get gifts. If I have to get one more $20 piece of junk for a white elephant, I might lose it.
Married August 2015
DS born 5/23/2018
TTC #2 July 2020
*Edited only to fix typo*
thinking of clever ways to tell people! Haha
It is a weird thing... but STM+ find it annoying. For some reason. And we do know it’s not a bump. You are right that we generally shouldn’t care but it’s irksome. Maybe it’s a “don’t rush your first pregnancy because it goes fast enough” thing? Shrug.
For me, I remember being a FTM and thinking I was totally showing and totally at 10-14wks and then realizing later, when I actually had a real bump, just how wrong I was. I guess it's kind of turned into a pet peeve sort of but so not really.
, 💙💙💙💙💙💙
@blackhottamales I also second your chocolate opinion. I always opt for fruit flavored candy and I think when chocolate is added to anything it overpowers everything else.
@strickland8052 I'm totally checking out that book. Thanks for the random mention! @babyginjuly, my parents only gave us things in our stockings from Santa. Candy, socks trinkets, etc. The good gifts were always from them. I learned later on that was intentional as part of showing work ethic and whatnot. They didn't want us thinking a mythical being was going to give us what we asked for every year. Looking back, that was a pretty non-religious approach.
My UO is that I don't like beer. I will only drink it when mixed with Zing Zang bloody Mary mix.
@nolemomma14, that was me! And part of the reason for the UO. I don’t really know when new threads are “allowed” so I didn’t. And almost didn’t even ask the question because it didn’t fit into a category. When someone else posted a similar type of thing, they were directed elsewhere.
Im not upset or anything. Not a big deal... but also would love to get to know mommas in other threads. And talk about more than baby stuff but all the check-in’s are a lot to try and participate in.
Im all for other threads outside of the weekly check ins we’ve already established! You’re definitely right, that no matter how organized a board is, you will still get drive by posters, and they can be entertaining! My J17 board had a random poster come in with a pretty incredible story about her pregnancy and mixed in was something about how she woke up one night and there was a single spot of blood on here bed and she had no idea where it came from, but she was super worried it could be from the clown murders that were occurring back then. We still discuss that from time to time, because it was so absurd!!