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May 2019 Moms
kvh22
member
STM+ Check In Week Of 12/11
kvh22
member
How many kids do you already have? Ages?
How are your other kids doing this week?
Rants/Raves? Concerns/Questions?
GTKY: Best travel or holiday tip (airplane, car trips, time zone changes, or just spending the day at the ILs):
How are your other kids doing this week?
Rants/Raves? Concerns/Questions?
GTKY: Best travel or holiday tip (airplane, car trips, time zone changes, or just spending the day at the ILs):
Re: STM+ Check In Week Of 12/11
How are your other kids doing this week?
He is SO excited about this new house. He's so good. I ended up cancelling his OT and ST indefinitely today though 😕 I'm not sure how that's going to, I've tried talking to him and he's sad not to see them, but he's not really benefiting from it anymore so it's just not worth it.
Rants/Raves? Concerns/Questions? None, really, aside from above. He's been super lovey. Gave me a hug around my belly and I was like "aww, thank you sweet boy" "I'm not hugging you, mom, I'm hugging baby brother" 😒 well, fine then.
GTKY: Best travel or holiday tip (airplane, car trips, time zone changes, or just spending the day at the ILs):
Hm. I tend to overcompensate with toys. Toys, books, snacks, change of clothes. When he was a baby, I LOVED the changing pad wallets, they were the best for travel, just carry that and baby to the bathroom and have a pad built in.
2 boys 6 and 2.5
How are your other kids doing this week?
Good although the Christmas crazies are settling in and they are starting to bounce off the walls. It doesn’t help that it has been cold but no snow. Who wants to play in the cold without snow to play in. We just ordered a rink for the backyard though so hoping that will get them out in the fresh air again.
Rants/Raves? Concerns/Questions? Struggling with ds1 school wise. We had a long talk with his teacher at conferences about his need for challenge and enrichment and a month later I see no changes. I know that she has a whole class to deal with and a kid who isn’t struggling is not a priority, but he is so curious and loves being challenged especially in math that it just seems like such a waste. Plus I am so afraid of him getting Bored and losing interest in school. He has literally learned nothing new this year and has far surpassed the first grade standards at this point so unless things change he isn’t going to learn anything later in the year either.
GTKY: Best travel or holiday tip (airplane, car trips, time zone changes, or just spending the day at the ILs): we travel a lot by car with the boys. About every other month we visit family 4-5 hours away. A few things that work for us: 1) plan your travel for bed/nap time. Often we leave around 6:30-7 with the boys in their jammies so they sleep most of the way. 2) leave plenty of time in case you need to stop and reset (ds1 used to get into these screaming fits and the only thing that would stop him would be to pull over and take him out of the car for 30-40 min) 3) if we aren’t travelling at a time where they will sleep we usually schedule a break (about halfway) someplace where they can get out and expend some energy. I usually look for a playground or McDonald’s with a play place to let the kids run around for a little bit. 4) now that they are a little older our portable DVD player is a godsend. Anything more than 2 hours it comes in the car with us and it helps so much with maintaining all of our sanity in the car.
How are your other kids doing this week? Better. He was sick for about 2 weeks with his first real cold, but seems to have finally shaken it off.
Rants/Raves? Concerns/Questions? This is sort of a long shot but just in case anyone has some insight. DS has his 18 month check up coming soon. It will be done at the ward office (basically like city hall) together with all other babies in the area who are 18 mos. Doctors will be doing standard tests, but they also look at cognitive development. Some background: I speak English with DS, DH speaks Japanese with him. Because I am the main caregiver DS understands English better than Japanese at this point and the words he has are predominantly in English but DH feels that he does comprehend at least some Japanese. DH told me the other day he is concerned that the ward office may mislabel DS as having ASD or something similar due to bilingualism being poorly understood (and not at all supported). Now, obviously, if he were to show signs of autism or anything else, an early diagnosis would be wonderful. However, if he is misdiagnosed due solely to his Japanese language skills being below that of his peers, that could seriously affect the schools/programs available to him in the future because segregation of people with disabilities is very real here. I’d been hearing rumblings in the expat community of people being told questionable things at their ward office visit (You shouldn’t be speaking English at home. Only Japanese. Another family said their son was misdiagnosed and they’ve been struggling to get that overturned for the last year or more so that he can go to a public kindergarten, etc etc). But tbh I’d sort of assumed maybe the parent didn’t speak Japanese well and there were miscommunication issues and things like that. I was really surprised when DH suddenly started asking me about how many words DS has and so on, but it turned out he’d read an article about this problem written by a Japanese mother in an international family.
Ok, sorry for the book. It’s just sort of been looming in my mind as he approaches 18 months. I guess that was a...rant? But if anyone has any advice I’d love to hear it!
GTKY: Best travel or holiday tip (airplane, car trips, time zone changes, or just spending the day at the ILs): DS hated the car for the first nine months or so, so not a lot of advice. As he’s gotten older he’s gotten better. We usually do snacks, frequent breaks, and car-only toys.
I can understand the worry with an incorrect diagnosis if they wrongly segregate children based on that, but here my son will go into a typical kindergarten class with no extra help, because he has received interventions for the past 2 years and has made significant progress. If he needed more help for kindergarten, he'd get it. The diagnosis has honestly opened up a TON of doors for us.
I guess I am mostly concerned because while I think the US has made some really great strides in how people respond to things like autism, it is still heavily stigmatized in Japan. Here, a diagnosis will shut doors. And an incorrect diagnosis can be really hard to reverse since it becomes part of your child’s permanent medical record.
One son, 2.5
How are your other kids doing this week?
He's been such a clinger recently! He's been extra whiny and wanting to be in mine or grandmas lap all the time. He has also been clearly testing limits which is getting super frustrating since he is always so well behaved. Yesterday he was touching the glasses in my parents bar cart while we were baking cookies which he knows not to do so I scolded him and he looked me dead in the eye, pointed his little finger at them and poked them again. I wanted to laugh and throttle him at the same time. I put him in a time out and he booped my nose in response 🤦🏻♀️
Rants/Raves? Concerns/Questions?
This has been such a long week already and it's only Wednesday. By the time I got into the office yesterday I was so backed up, plus the holiday stand down coming sooo many student were coming in last minute to register. I heated my lunch twice and never managed to eat. I love busy days since thego so fast but wow I'm hoping today is better because I was seriously hangry.
GTKY: Best travel or holiday tip (airplane, car trips, time zone changes, or just spending the day at the ILs):
I usually bring a bag or just toys and snacks with me. New toys can be a great distraction on a long drive/flight. Also activity toys like a new coloring book or mini blocks are great.
Edited to add: my husband is a successful engineer in training, with a wife and a kid and mostly gets by pretty well in social situations. He struggles a lot sometimes, but he's extremely high functioning. He was a high school drop out, got his ged to join the military, didn't do great at all in the military due to politics and the social aspect he just couldn't wrap his head around, and now he's about to graduate with an engineering degree, has already tested for and passed his EIT and works for a firm that has confirmed they'll hire him after graduation. Early intervention is key, but my husband's story is not rare, unfortunately.
Anyway. My point is, if you fight it now but see red flags later on, you can still get him the help he needs. I think an 18 month screening is valuable in alerting you and your doctor that something may be up, but I don't believe it's as accurate as waiting until over 2, when most symptoms are presenting in full force.
How many kids do you already have? Ages? DD is almost 16 months
How are your other kids doing this week? She had her 15 month appointment on Monday and got shots but is doing pretty well. She was sleepy and fell asleep early but is back to her normal energetic self now.
Rants/Raves? Concerns/Questions? She's just so stinking cute it's ridiculous. She's very into our routines now and it's funny to see her walk to the fridge for her yogurt, then to where we keep the spoons, then over to the high chair, all in front of me. Or when I ask her if she wants milk and she walks over to where I always BF her and climbs up on the couch. Although she climbed up on our bed this morning while DH was getting ready in our bedroom which is higher than the couch and we didn't know she could do. I'm worried her days in the crib are numbered once she's tall enough to get her leg up. She literally climbs EVERYTHING!
GTKY: Best travel or holiday tip (airplane, car trips, time zone changes, or just spending the day at the ILs): New toys, snacks that take a while to eat, etc. are my best plane tricks although it's been 6 months so this will be interesting. For car trips, someone recommended having a bag/bucket/basket of toys that you can toss to them as they throw them to keep them distracted. We generally try to time it with nap time as well so it's not necessary a lot of the time.
When I went in to register this pregnancy (all pregnancies are registered with the govt at about 8 weeks), the nurse did ask me kind of out if the blue about my son’s language development. And she specifically wanted to know if the words he was speaking were in English or Japanese, which sort of raised a flag for me. I suspect there has been a bit of a shift in recent years against multi-lingual households.
How are your other kids doing this week? Great, he's getting really excellent at cruising. Hoping he'll walk in another month or so! Once he's walking steadily, we can begin another round of therapy he needs. Obviously it'll be on his own time but I'm excited we're getting closer.
Rants/Raves? Concerns/Questions? I'm just so relieved I'm not nauseous all the time anymore and the migraines have died down. I'm not sure if it's definitely because I've been taking magnesium every day but I'm not going to stop!
GTKY: Best travel or holiday tip (airplane, car trips, time zone changes, or just spending the day at the ILs): Snacks and snacks and snacks. We're lucky in that DS is pretty chill, he just needs to be entertained so we brought lots of food and toys and books on the plane and let him watch a little TV, which he had no real interest in. We cycle through those things a lot. Car trips he usually sleeps. Time zone changes, we try to put him to bed at his normal time, for ex it's 7 pm at home so it'll be 7 pm wherever else we are too. So far it's worked okay.
How are your other kids doing this week?
Great! She is learning so many new words daily and starting to sing songs and pretend play. Yesterday, I caught her calling her doggies (he pacifiers) on her toy phone.
Rants/Raves? Concerns/Questions? Ugh dealing with the toddler going limp and thrashing temper tantrums while pregnant is not fun. I can deal with it right now, but as I get bigger and lose my balance more easily, it's not going to easy. When we were at ILs on Thanksgiving, she lost her shit going up the stairs and I was afraid I was going to fall down them. Made DH do all the stairs with her after that.
GTKY: Best travel or holiday tip (airplane, car trips, time zone changes, or just spending the day at the ILs):
How are your other kids doing this week? Good! She's walking, and getting more brave with walking. We just got back from a trip to Disneyland, and she was very impressed with the ducks that live in the park. She followed them around, and it was adorable. She was also fascinated by the Tiki Room and LOVED seeing the lighting of It's A Small World, when they turned on all their holiday lights. She still has very little hair, but my hair is insanely slow-growing, so unfortunately I guess she just got that gene from me.
Rants/Raves? Concerns/Questions? DD has been the pickiest eater the last few days! I'm not sure what that's about. She won't eat stuff she normally loves, I wonder if she has another tooth coming in. She has also been super grumpy if she doesn't get what she wants, and I'm not sure how to teach her to remain calm. We are taking her to the toddler-friendly production of the Nutcracker tomorrow, so I hope she can sit through it (it's only about 45 minutes).
GTKY: Best travel or holiday tip (airplane, car trips, time zone changes, or just spending the day at the ILs): Oh gosh, I don't have any, really - but this last trip told me not to give her a screen to play with (first time with car sickness... ugh), and that we should have brought more changes of clothes. I think we got too cocky with our comfort level with DD and we just didn't prepare for extra costume changes, etc. - and we really should have.
then 3 failed IUIs, and finally a successful IVF FET.
Due with #2 5/2/19 after HIO once in my FW,
because apparently that's how life works now. Team Blue!
How are your other kids doing this week? Tired. It’s been a rough week. Diagnosed with croup last Thursday and he’s doing better but it’s been a long week with a fussier than normal little man who is only napping for barely an hour (2 plus normally). I did get a 2 hour nap out of him today though so I’m hoping we are over the hump and things will be getting back to normal soon.
Rants/Raves? Concerns/Questions? We need to decide in the next couple of months what to do for his new room since baby will be taking over the nursery. It’s our only real project before baby so it shouldn’t be too bad.
GTKY: Best travel or holiday tip (airplane, car trips, time zone changes, or just spending the day at the ILs): we just bring plenty of snacks, toys/coloring books and rotate things as he gets board. When we drive we do it at bed or nap time and he’s good about sleeping a lot of the drive. We’ve been lucky that he’s pretty easy to travel with.
How are your other kids doing this week? We're all healthy finally! Last week was the absolute worst. Both kids sick, I was sick too. Neither of them would accept another caregiver (DH, grandma, etc) so it was all me 24/7 for a full week. Thank goodness things are back to normal now.
Rants/Raves? Concerns/Questions? For the first time in a long time I'm really not looking forward to Christmas. This year crept up on me and I don't feel remotely prepared. I'm also having a hard time adjusting to DD being in school, I feel like my freedom has really been quashed and I think the fact that I haven't been able to leave town AT ALL in over a month is starting to get to me.
GTKY: Best travel or holiday tip (airplane, car trips, time zone changes, or just spending the day at the ILs): Driving at bedtime rarely works for us. We always arrive at our destination super late and both kids have slept too long to be transferrable to bed (at least for my kids). Road trips I typically try to leave first thing in the morning and plan several stops along the way. We pack lots of snacks and drinks, colouring books, iPads. Both of our girls have always been really good travellers, but I have never shied away from taking them on long trips either. We toughed out the bad experiences and didn't let it discourage future ones. Travelling with a baby from crawling to around 18-20 months is, IMO, the worst age. They are so busy and active so confining them to a seat sucks. Plus they are too young to engage in most car/plane-friendly activities for more than a couple minutes. Its exhausting and A LOT of work. I found that once the kids could hang onto their snack and drink cups without dropping them as a joke, and had the attention span to watch even like 1 episode of Bubble Guppies, travelling became so much easier. Time zone changes within North America we just stick with our normal bedtime from the get-go and its a seamless adjustment. When we went to Europe last spring the jet lag was harder to shake and we just had to roll with it.