FFFC 12/7 — The Bump
March 2019 Moms

FFFC 12/7

What do you have to confess?
ME: 31  DH: 31 DD: June '16 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
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Re: FFFC 12/7

  • I told my mom and close family that i didn't want to buy Christmas presents this year since I am trying to stay on top of my money and bills and really only focus on DS, especially since i have to save money for 6 weeks of unpaid maternity leave...my mom raised such a stink about it....so now i am on the hook for buying gifts...and i REALLY want to use her credit card to buy the gifts. (we have a joint card) i am not sure how hard it is to understand "I don't have any money"......
    kristimh80mayoduck
  • @zionsmama85 that’s so frustrating, especially since you were upfront about trying to be careful with finances since you have a lo on the way! Can you bake something to gift or just buy everyone a bottle of wine? Or just talk to your siblings? They may be more understanding than your mom. 
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    3rdtime_charmed
  • zionsmama85zionsmama85 member
    100 Comments Name Dropper First Anniversary Photogenic
    edited December 7
    @lelkcot
    I am trying to find small things to get...my sis sent me a link for a Darth Vader lamp thats about $30...its not a lot but i am annoyed by anything at this point. I am like super frustrated. Normally Christmas/December is not such a big deal to me bc i have had my refund to look forward to to catch up....but this is the first year my son has not had any kind of formal babysitting (my mom retired this year so she watched him this summer and after school)...so I wont even be getting a lot back with taxes...so I am cognizant that i have to be careful...and its super annoying that no one is listening to me say that i would prefer to not buy anything and they don't have to get anything for me. My family is HUGE on gift giving so that gives me even more anxiety about it because i feel bad to not be able to get nice awesome gifts...
  • @zionsmama85 I'm sorry your mom is giving you grief about this. I'm sure it's hard enough not feeling able to buy presents right now without people getting upset at you for it! I hope it's just an annoying knee-jerk reaction and nobody actually stays upset. 

    I also need to be super cheap this year and will probably be making food-related presents for family. I'm going to need to buy something for my 9-year-old nieces but I just can't afford to buy nice gifts for adults right now! I feel a little weird about it because we've been receiving so many gifts for the baby and I want to show my appreciation but I'm going to need to get creative and find a way to do so on the cheap. I always tell myself that's what I'm going to do, anyways, because I'm against the commercialization of the holidays in theory, but in reality I still always feel pressure to buy people a bunch of crap haha. 
    zionsmama85ashley14598
  • @violetmarie61516 I've been thinking about you all week. How did you conversation with YH go?
    ME: 31  DH: 31 DD: June '16 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
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    mamakate16163rdtime_charmed
  • @zionsmama85 That is super frustrating! I agree with what everyone has said. Do what you can and don't beat yourself up over it. MH is 1 of 6 kids and there are 12 nieces and nephews. Luckily, not everyone lives here but every Christmas, I always get anxiety because we already have a big list of people here to take care of and he always mentions..."what about such n' such's kids"? I've finally gotten to the point, sadly, of saying "do you ever see anything from them"? Being a FTM and all these kids it was hard b/c we always are expected to give, give, give but b/c we had no kids....we were an after thought and many times could have used the extra $. So don't feel bad if you need to be a little stingy this year. You have a little one and a baby on the way to think about! 
    TTC #1 since April 2015
    June 2016 - CP
    2017 - Medicated Cycles & IUI's
    IVF w/ PGS  - January 2018
    FET #1 - April 2018 - BFN
    ERA Cycle May / June 2018
    ERA Biopsy June 2018 ~ Results: receptive (no change)
    FET #2 - July 2018 - BFP <3 Beta #1 - 137 Beta #2 - 410
    U/S #1 7wk1d - HB 144 U/S #2 9w1d HB 166
    Anatomy Scan 11/2/18 <3 2nd AS 11/19
    EDD March 28, 2019
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    zionsmama85
  • @zionsmama85 I am so sorry you are feeling this way!! I can relate, as we just moved recently and all of our bills are more expensive plus trying to buy a crib, save for maternity leave, pay for child care, etc.... I live at least 5-6 hours away from everyone, which makes things easier since we won't actually see anyone for Christmas, but I still feel the guilt. However, agree with everyone when saying do what you can and let the rest go. Christmas should be about family & love & appreciation, not who bought the best gift. Besides, you are already giving them a wonderful gift - another little one to love :)

    My FFFC is I have no Christmas spirit this year. None. Zero. We went to plug in our pre-lit Christmas tree and the lights didn't work, so we just decided no tree this year. I cried when this happened, because I am a hot mess lately. Lol. I haven't bought the first gift. I am feeling seriously Grinch-y, but MH is taking me to The Nutcracker ballet this month, so hopefully that gets me feeling the holiday spirit.
    zionsmama853rdtime_charmed
  • @lalalauren15 I was thisclose to calling Target and having them cancel the order for my artificial tree which was already a week late being delivered and then once it was in my living room I thought about just returning it unopened. Less because I have no holiday spirit this year and more because I've been so overwhelmed with all the holiday activities and the associated to-do's on my list that having to decorate and then undecorate a tree was really low on my priority list. As it stands, the view of my Christmas tree from the front yard is likely to be my only outdoor decoration because my little light projector decided not to project this year and I doubt I'll buy a new one.
    ME: 31  DH: 31 DD: June '16 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
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    lalalauren15
  • @zionsmama85 That’s frustrating. Our family recently starting drawing names because we keep expanding. I mean eventually you can’t expect to purchase gifts for everyone it gets too expensive. 
    Mine is I went home and napped for almost 2 hours after my glucose test this morning. I had told DH I was going grocery shopping. Oops. 
    Dx: Non-IR PCOS
    Baby Girl K #1 Born 3/8/14
    Baby Girl K #2 EDD 3/3/19
    zionsmama85ashley14598mayoduckkapowfal
  • My confession is I have bought three Christmas gifts so far and I used really old gift cards to do it.

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  • @novelblessings, my family does that, too. Beforehand, it was almost like that anyway. My siblings and I would always be going together, everyone pitching in $15 to get a larger gift for someone.
    novelblessings
  • Eep! I guess my confession is that I haven’t bought any Christmas gifts 😳🙈 Looks like it’s going to be an intense shopping filled weekend for me lol.

    @zionsmama85 That’s so frustrating that your mom isn’t more understanding about your situation. I hope she comes around and helps you out a bit.
  • @meggyme I think "overwhelmed" is the perfect word. Haha.
  • zionsmama85zionsmama85 member
    100 Comments Name Dropper First Anniversary Photogenic
    edited December 7
    @lalalauren15 @meggyme i think i am a bit overwhelmed too, bc my spirit is down the tube. normally i get some kind of oomph to put up my tree but i am very meh this year. i got a little small one bc my son was sad that i wasn't going to put up one at all..(pic in the spoiler)...and as you can see i just threw it up in front of my super grungy dining room LOL......i'm just ready for January at this point. 


    navete
  • @zionsmama85 That's the only reason I put ours up too, DD1 kept talking about Christmas trees. So far it's only got the lights and tinsel on it because DH has been traveling, but we'll finish decorating as a family this weekend. Seeing DD's surprised face when she came downstairs to a lit Christmas tree that wasn't there the night before was pretty special.


    ME: 31  DH: 31 DD: June '16 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
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    lelkcotzionsmama85navetekapowfal
  • AFM, my spirits were high for Christmas (my kids love it and their excitement is infectious), but now that I might be missing everything, especially DD1's christmas program and skit at school, it's been hard for me to wrap my mind around it all. We were getting a live tree to plant after the holidays and DH keeps talking about maybe not doing it, but I have been trying to get him to stick with the plan. I love the idea, and if the planting takes, I will get to see and enjoy our tree all year round. Hoping to get all our gifts ordered on Sunday with DH. 
    @zionsmama85 it sounds like you have some similar boundary issues with your family like I do with mine. They hate it when we, reasonably, have to push back on things and enforce boundaries. We haven't bought sibling gifts in years. I guess it feels silly when we are all grown up and can get our own things. I do usually make cookie tins to share with siblings. We focus our gift giving to kids in the family, our parents (usually a grandparent gift involving pictures of grnadkids), we adopt a needy child through our church's giving tree and will donate a little something for our priest and DD1's teacher. We used to do a secret Santa with DH's family but that tradition went away after his grandma passed. 
    zionsmama85kapowfal
  • @zionsmama85 That's so frustrating! For me, personally, I don't like the gift giving obligation this season brings; it's so stressful and it encourages giving/receiving gifts for the sake of gifts, which often end up unused and wasted. I am not against gift giving but prefer to do so more when I see something in the moment I think a particular person would like or get use out of. I can't possibly come up with quality gift ideas for dozens of people all at once.
    zionsmama85navetemamakate1616kapowfal
  • @mayoduck
    i completely understand the pregnancy body thing. I enjoy mine if only bc its my one time i can be "fat" for a reason, since i am already plus sized....BUT i am not enjoying the comments this time around. i almost want to be invisible unless i am at home. I have a lot of back pain and RLP this time around, and issues with getting light headed,  and its not so fun. I am definitely looking forward to being able to lose the weight when the time comes. 
  • I sat in the middle of the living room floor and cried this morning because I couldn't find DD2's shoe to take both girls outside to play then, when the H got home for lunch, I said "they deserve a better mom than me," started crying again, and left for work.  I'm a mess, y'all.  I don't remember my (almost) third trimester hormones being so insane the first time around, but sh*t.
    zionsmama85lelkcotmill1020
  • @mayoduck I feel ya. I feel very awkward in this pregnancy body. My natural inclination is to try to hide my bump but it's getting pretty impossible these days. Now that almost everyone knows I'm pregnant I've been trying to get used to wearing more form fitting clothing even though I hate people looking at me. I've still been trying to hide it from undergraduate students so everytime I teach I wear ridiculously baggy sweaters. Luckily it's been cold since I've really started to show so I don't look like a total weirdo! 
    mayoduck
  • Sometimes I feel giant and bulky, and other times I feel 'not that big for being 5 days away from 7 months pregnant' and there is no rhyme or reason to which I feel when.

    I think I had RLP for the first time last night (it was brief but unpleasant!!) and I cried 2x in the last week - - a baby elephant at the zoo died, and while I  was listening to Michelle Obama's book  while painting the nursery (which I totally recommend so I wont spoil it!!).

    Also, my birthday present from my sister arrived in the mail - some tummy oil/butter specifically for pregnancy that I asked for since my skin feels itchy - and the company threw in an 'extra' gift of a gift card for $100 off a purchase of $160 to a wine company!!! How is that a fair thing to send to a pregnant person!?!! At the same time, I'm tempted to stock up on nice wine for after baby arrives. But we still don't have a crib or a car seat or anything (and my DH wants to wait for after the baby shower to buy anything else) so I can't really justify it. 
  • @mayoduck right there with you on not loving my pregnant body. I don’t feel like it’s mine right now. But trying to remind myself it’s just for now.
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    mayoduck
  • @abbykwail I got one of those from somewhere too! As it is, I’ve already bought myself a coravin (wine preserver that was on prime day sale) and have a few bottles in our wine fridge from Thanksgiving (our French friends have good taste) so i doubt I’ll use it soon.
    ME: 31  DH: 31 DD: June '16 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
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    abbykwail
  • @abbykwail I think I know the wine voucher you're referring to, it comes in different packages. DH looked into the wines they carry a few years back and said it's not worth it, price-wise. Make sure to compare prices, there is a reason why they try to push it so actively. 
    And was it tummy oil/butter from The Spoiled Mama? That's the one I got a month ago and I'm really loving it so far. They have a promotion for today only for 25% off, and I'm sooooo tempted to get some even if I'm not sure I'll finish what I have by March (btw, if anyone wants a referral code for $5 off let me know). 
    abbykwail
  • @mihaelams1 it is mama mio brand for the tummy stuff! My friend said a coworker got the same wine voucher (to naked wines, by the way) and it's like a subscription thing, so she got the first month with the card and then canceled before it could renew, but they keep sending her more wine without charging her! She apparently has more bottles than she knows what to do with but is scared to call and ask about it because she doesn't want to be back charged. That sounds pretty good to me, to be honest! 
    mihaelams1
  • mamakate1616mamakate1616 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    edited December 8
    @lovesclimbing and @mihaelams1 I am right there with you!
    I brought my makeup to the hospital and I actually also brought my hair dryer and curling iron! :joy: I ended up not using those and probably won’t bring them again but the makeup is a must. Motherhood has taught me how to use dry shampoo so I’m hopeful if I style it well before my surgery I can make it look decent for photos. I also have no social life outside the bump!

    My FFFC is that I am terrible at budgeting and saving money... said another way, I am a shopoholic. We have established a separate account that I use for groceries/household/random shopping and it has helped a bunch, but I still struggle. It’s especially hard trying to save for leave without pay at this time of year. There are 22 children on my shopping list (!!!!) + we do sibling and parent gifts. Add to that my love language is gift giving so it is very hard for me to keep myself in check when I am constantly thinking how I can make Christmas morning *even more* magical with xyz gift. 
    Me: 30 DH: 31
    Married: 2012
    BFP #1 Sept 2014, MMC Dec 2014 | BFP #2 May 2015, DD Jan 2016 <3 | BFP #3 May 2017, MC July 2017 | BFP #4 Jan 2018, MC Feb 2018 | BFP #5 July 2018, fingers crossed
    lelkcotashley14598kristimh80kapowfal
  • Add me to the (obviously) bumpaholic crew! 
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    ashley14598
  • I'm a bumpaholic too. If there's a day that I'm not as active either DW has the day off or we're visiting family.

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  • Bumpaholic here too!
    lelkcot
  • I’m with so many of you on these this time!! 

    Im not a fan of being “center of attention” and I never know what to say to people. People at work have started making comments “wow you’ve really popped! Wow I didn’t know you were pregnant even until last week!” I never know what to say but there is definitely no hiding it now! if they would say congratulations or something I would feel more inclined to say “thank you” but wow you’ve popped doesn’t make me want to say thank you... 

    I took my hair straightener and make up to the hospital. I most definitely used my make up! I’m so thankful for it I had a horrible post partum experience and it was the only thing that somewhat helped me feel more like me. Luckily my hair was doing okay (about the only thing) and I didn’t my straighter. I’ll be taking both again this time. 

    I use these boards as my social media too! I dislike Facebook now so much it’s all a highlight real or memes. I never feel like I can relate. I don’t have a lot of friends anymore I have a sister in law I talk to regularly but she’s struggling with infertility and even though I can be empathetic I feel guilty talking to her about anything pregnancy. I also have a close friend from high school I get together with more in the spring/summer to walk with. I check our boards and talk to my DH about them more than I do anything else online. 
    mamakate1616kristimh80
  • I still haven’t told my childhood best friend that I’m pregnant. She can be a needy friend and I have only seen her once since getting pregnant and wasn’t ready to tell. Now I’ll be 27 Weeks tomorrow and nervous how bad she’s going to react for not being one of the first to know.

    We have two sleeping beauties in heaven.
    Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016. 
    Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015.
    They will be forever missed. <3
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  • @bdesterhouse yikes! That could definitely be tricky. Maybe preempt a bad reaction with a text about a “big surprise” you can’t wait to tell her about in person
    Me: 30 DH: 31
    Married: 2012
    BFP #1 Sept 2014, MMC Dec 2014 | BFP #2 May 2015, DD Jan 2016 <3 | BFP #3 May 2017, MC July 2017 | BFP #4 Jan 2018, MC Feb 2018 | BFP #5 July 2018, fingers crossed
    ashley14598
  • Her step dad passed right around when I planned on telling her, so I felt telling her would be inappropriate and decided to wait. I’ve avoided talking to her so I wouldn’t let it slip. I feel like I’m just digging and digging myself into more trouble with her at this point.

    We have two sleeping beauties in heaven.
    Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016. 
    Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015.
    They will be forever missed. <3
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