Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

D&C Tomorrow

I just found out yesterday that my 10 week old baby didn’t have a heartbeat. We heard the heartbeat at 6 1/2 weeks, and it came as a shocking surprise (I’m still trying to process it). I have a healthy and happy one year old son, and I was so excited for him to become a big brother. I had a previous miscarriage at about 5 weeks, right before I conceived this time. I am still breastfeeding so I don’t know if that has anything to do with it. Anyway, I am a mess of confusion and emotions right now, and I was wondering if anyone has any works of advice for the D&C and hope for conceiving afterward. I know in my heart my family is not complete yet, but after two miscarriages, the thought of the journey ahead is frightening and disheartening. Thank you in advance.

Re: D&C Tomorrow

  • I'm really sorry you're going through this. Please realize that it just wasn't the right time and everything happens for a reason. Rabbi Yitzchak Ginsburgh says that every soul that comes into this world comes here with a very specific mission. When that mission is completed, the soul can leave. The holiest of souls need so little time here in this world that some never even make it outside the womb, others only need their heart to beat once, others not even that. 

    I had a miscarriage at 14 weeks and 10 weeks and both times I had seen the heartbeat already and then it stopped. I had two D&Cs and they really weren't painful. I was surprised how the next day I was fine and walking around. It was less than a period (although around a week later I had bad cramps one night, but took two Advil and was fine.) There's no point thinking about conceiving again the day before you're scheduled D&C-- that's going to be too overwhelming, but you'll feel it when the time is right.

    Even by being pregnant for the short amount of time that you were you accomplished something. Good luck tomorrow.
  • @baila1 Your comment about what the Rabbi said is so beautiful. I can't keep the tears from rolling out of my eyes. 

    @katelyndowd My only advice is to listen to your doctor and be kind to yourself. Only you will know when/if you are ready to try again.
    Baby Birthday Ticker TickerMe: 40  H: 38


    ****trigger warning****

    1 LC, girl 5 years old

    TTC #2 Summer 2017

    BFP 1/5/2018, MC (D & E) 2/23/2018

    TTCAL May 2018

    BFP 9/20/2018, MC (D & E) 11/16/2018 :'(

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  • Thank you so much for your reply. Your kind words brought me peace. The procedure went well, and I am going to work on the emotional and spiritual healing ahead. I will try to trust that there is a reason, and find comfort in the fact that I will be able to help others in the future.
  • So glad to hear it went well. Good luck with your recovery. 
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