Any Jewish Moms?

bumblebee0210

Hey all-- since it is the festival of lights, and there is a Christmas thread, I thought I would see if there were any other Jews in the group? Wondering about plans for a bris, whether or not to have a baby shower, naming, etc...

cricket1688

Here 🙋🏻‍♀️  I’m Jewish husband isn’t. I’m your typical 3x a year Jew lol. We’re passing on bris BC I just want it to happen faster than that. We will likely do a baby naming for getting the whole family together. Baby shower I don’t have ideas yet but I would like to have one - is there a Jewish tradition of baby showers I don’t know about? 

We will likely raise the baby duel faith or spiritual. My bond with religion is more based in tradition and family values than in God but I respect what works for everyone and their family. 

Happy hannukah 🕎

KissMeImScottish

Not Jewish myself, but just wanted to say that I love that you started this thread.

jessica4141

Me!  I'm actually planning a Hannukah themed baby announcement (with the menorah the last night, an "I love you a latke" bib, and our NT scan pic in the foreground, and us in the background).  I don't know the gender yet so will have to wait and see on the bris.  I'm inclined not to, though, even though my family will probably be displeased.  Definitely love the idea of a baby naming and having the whole family get together for that.

Most of the Jewish women I know have had baby showers.  I know in some more traditional communities they don't because it invites the "evil eye" to celebrate a baby before it's born, but I don't buy into that at all.  

One other question - is anyone following the tradition of not naming a baby after a living relative? I think my great Aunt whom I want to name my daughter after (if we have a girl) would actually be offended because it is that taboo in my family...kind of tricky though because we have a huge family and a lot of the names I like are already taken...

anonellis

I’m Jewish and I’m due the very end of May. Can I lurk here?  

@jessica4141 in my family I would not be able to get away with naming the baby after a living relative.  However I think you can get around it by naming the baby after the same person that another living relative is also named after, if that makes sense?  Meaning you can have two people both named after great grandpa Arnold 😉 you can also name the baby whatever you want and then choose a Hebrew name from family history if you’d rather just pick a random name you like! We might do that this time.  

I did not have a shower or set up the nursery for my last pregnancy.  This time I don’t really care about superstition but won’t have a shower just because I already have kids and lots of stuff.  We had a registry we didn’t publicize and got a lot of gifts at the bris / sent to us when the babies were born.  So I missed out on the fun of a shower but still got a lot of generous gifts/help from people.  

As for the bris — it was very beautiful and I guess I’m glad we did it (we were on the fence about whether to circumcise at all, and ended up having a huge bris) but I cannot think of anything dumber than a life cycle event that involves throwing a party when you have an 8 day old baby.  Who thought THAT up?!?!?  I did get the advice that if you do want to circumcise, a mohel likely has more experience and performs more of them than whoever would do it in the hospital. 

cricket1688

@jessica4141 how cute is that announcement! I know the rule about not naming after living relative but you also have to do what feels right to you. I actually know a gal who is pregnant and they are naming their boy after the father's father and he is alive soooo...

I'm one of the last kids/grandkids to get pregnant and everyone has already used initials from family members to name their kids and i kind of want to be the asshole that's like I'm naming my baby whatever I want dedicated or not dedicated to passed relative.
@anonellis hey! welcome, i love seeing any jewish ladies I feel like we are a rare breed on this site. It's something to think about with the Mohel, i sort of figured my OB would have good experience but I may need to interview and question. I wonder if you can get a Mogel without doing a bris? for me i just feel like 8 days PP I don't know if I want that many people around me or the baby yet. 

cricket1688

Oh one more thing here... did anyone do the Ashkenazi blood panel? We did it BC we elected to do as much genetic testing we could but I was a little miffed at the $$$. It’s worth it to me in the end but I was just surprised. 

anonellis

@cricket1688 your OB might be great at it!  Where I live circumcision has become less common lately and therefore most people who have it done have it done for religious reasons/are more likely to not do it in the hospital.

I have an OB friend who HATES that she’s ever asked to do it — the way she puts it is she essentially went to school for years and years to be a vagina doctor and then suddenly was asked to perform this very very precise surgery she’s totally untrained for.  But that’s just one OB’s take on it.  I’ve never heard of something going wrong.  

And you can definitely have a mohel come to your house and not have it be a whole to-do. It’s whatever you want! I have also heard of people specifically requesting a urologist do it as opposed to just anyone at the hospital.  It’s whatever you’re comfortable with.  

anonellis

Also about the blood panel — we had something done before I got pregnant and weren’t carriers for anything.  I didn’t do additional testing once I was pregnant, though.  I remember the doctors asking our ethnic background but I didn’t follow up about whether there was more testing we could do....

bumblebee0210

All right! I was sort of worried this would be crickets. We found out we are having a girl so I'm kind of glad i can punt on the whole bris thing (though I know some people do naming ceremonies for girls). Honestly it's not the mohel etc that scares me it's thinking of throwing a party eight days after I give birth! Yikes. Also, I am a convert and though my husband was raised Jewish some of his close family is also not Jewish, so we would have a lot of confused relatives eating bagels at our house...

Similar on baby showers, I think my mom will likely want to throw me one, and that's fine. We are naming after deceased relatives, though. Also, being a convert, we didn't do the blood panel but we did do 23 and me before trying and that tests for a really long list of common things. 

Also-- as a convert (and a nerd)-- I was looking into Jewish-specific baby/kid books. We are, like, medium-Jews, as in we fast on Yom Kippur, go to synagogue once or twice not on holidays, light candles when we remember on Friday night but still use cell phones on Saturday/eat pork/etc. I think if I weren't a convert we would be 3x a year jews but the process kind of sucks you back in (in a good way).  Whenever I look for resources like this they are often skewed to the ultra-orthodox (or at least very observant jews), which doesn't help me that much. One exception might be this Anita Diamant book. Has anyone read it? 

cricket1688

@bumblebee0210 I have not read that book so I’m sorry I can’t help in that department. As far as bris like @anonellis said and I looked into it after her suggestion you can just have you and your husband present or as little or as many people as you’d like. We’re still on the fence about mohel V OB and still looking into the different ways to do the procedure which I told DH to read up on. I personally don’t want a big to do BC I just think I’ll feel gross and tired so if we go mohel it will just be me and DH there. I think people love getting together for bagels/food/a glass of wine but I’m sure to non-Jews it’s suuuuper weird to make this big to do. I read that we do it on the 8th day based on circulation and the blood clotting best on the 8th day so maybe you can explain in that way for people who are like huh?!

cricket1688

Also I know this thread is small but I’m so happy it’s here. I will very much have a baby shower on my part. Also forgot to mention we are having a son so I’m definitely nervous about the circumcitiob and ultimate healing process. I heard the healing is tough on parents and takes time. Hope everyone had a great hannukah! 

anonellis

@bumblebee0210 I haven’t read that book either, but I read her book about Jewish weddings when we were engaged and found it really great!

As far as Jewish books FOR babies/kids (as opposed to about them), I can’t recommend signing up for PJ Library highly enough.  They send an age-appropriate free book every month.  As far as I can see (we have gotten them for over a year), there has been nothing like ultra-orthodox or anything people might find uncomfortable — mostly just picture books about whatever holiday is coming up.  Not in a super religious way but, like, before Rosh Hashanah we got a book focused on apples and honey, etc.  It’s nice because it reminds me about the more minor holidays like Sukkot.  And with babies/little kids you can never have too many books in rotation, so it’s so wonderful to automatically get a new one in the mail every month! 

ki1244

Disclaimer -- I'm not Jewish, I'm Christian, but I think so much of Christianity forgets our Jewish roots, to our own detriment. I was nearly a Jewish Studies minor in college (wound up general History instead because I still wanted to graduate on time and that worked better in my schedule, but took about half the classes I needed to get it anyway) and once I started actually learning more about the Jewish holidays and traditions in more detail, my reading of the Christian Bible got so much richer and my understanding of God's character got so much deeper. We may have different faiths and beliefs about the afterlife and such, but our history (...and half of our Scriptures) are the same, and ignoring/forgetting that, I think, is like celebrating the 4th of July without remembering the Declaration of Independence -- it strips so much of the context, and with it, its meaning. So to that end, I instituted a Passover celebration for my Bible study (if we believe in Jesus and he celebrated it, not sure why we don't too...it's common history for our faiths!) and would love to raise this baby celebrating both Christian and Jewish holidays, where appropriate.

Soooooo long lead up to ask -- for that PJ Library, I couldn't get past the point where it needs Baby's birthday (obvious reasons...) so couldn't learn more about it there. Is there a requirement to be a member of a synagogue or practicing body? I'd looooove to sign up and build that resource for Baby down the road (somehow I think my old textbooks and audio lectures might not be all that clear to a toddler) but can't get far enough into the process to find out if it'll be an option.