Coping with Grief During the Holidays

SpongeWorthy

I thought we could use this as a place to discuss coping strategies and/or what we're doing to remember our babies this holiday season.

SpongeWorthy

I have a few things lined up.  I signed up DH and I for a holiday specific grief support group in a few weeks.  The class is for those coping with a loss and you create a small memorial project. 

One other way I'm coping is doing little remembrance projects for my son.  I just got a memorial tattoo for him.  I got a Christmas tree ornament made with some of our favorite pictures.  I'm donating a bunch of children's books to a local group that makes NICU care packages.  I went to an event last week where we made fabric hearts to put in the NICU care packages as well.

The biggest thing we're doing to cope is to get away.  DH and I are solo traveling for Christmas.  I'm hoping that helps lessen the sting a little bit.

obsessedwithoranges

@SpongeWorthy I agree that getting away will be good. DH and I are also solo traveling for Christmas- looking forward to escaping.

Thinking of you and hoping you find peace this holiday season. And that you have a wonderful trip! 

dpjennifer

DH and I will be celebrating Christmas together on our own this year. Just us and our fur-babies. It's the first year we won't be travelling to my/his family and be surrounded by people.  I'm trying to focus on appreciating what I have and coming up with some new traditions for us... and trying to think of all the fun and relaxing things we can do to celebrate the holiday.  But it's also a bit terrifying, as holidays always are a large 'family' thing for me and I'm not certain how I'm going to handle it being just the 2 of us (and dogs).

Also, I'm so sick of seeing stupid 'baby's first christmas' ornaments everywhere. I wish every bulb in every store would smash to pieces so I could stop all the pain...

SpongeWorthy

@dpjennifer I like the idea of starting your own Christmas traditions.  I was thinking of hosting my family for a little holiday get together either before or after Christmas.  Maybe that will be our new tradition (and it will give me an excuse to make cookies  )

SpongeWorthy

Oh and I agree on all the “baby’s first Christmas” stuff.  Every time I see one I think of the onesie my Aunt got for DS and how it should’ve said “My Only Christmas” 

justarius

Couldn’t agree more about the baby’s first Christmas stuff. So diffcult to see everywhere. 
I’m making Christmas sheets for our NICU babies to have for Christmas it helps keep my mind more occupied and feel productive rather than just moping around. 

dpjennifer

SpongeWorthy    I'm so sorry.... I can't even imagine.  

40momma

I hate the fact that when people hear it's just me and DH they think 'oh you don't have any family to celebrate with'. We are a family. We may not be a big family but just because we don't have a Housefull of babies doesn't mean we don't have a family

ruby696

We planned to announce my pregnancy to our parents this Christmas. Now that that's not happening, I'm plan to spend Christmas drinking large quantities of wine. #pretendingtobehappyonchristmas

mwmiller4

@SpongeWorthy I just want to hug you so much—my heart breaks for you over and over again. 

@40momma and @dpjennifer people are the freaking worst sometimes. I’m really sorry and I hope this season falls as softly as possible for you both. With minimal stupid comments. 

@ruby696 I support your #allthewine plan and @SpongeWorthy I support #allthecookies as well!

dpjennifer

ruby696 Sorry. I understand. I've rarely been sober on Christmas eve for years now... my uncle throws a big holiday party (with really cheap liquor) and his wife's family is terrible (her kid's FAVORITE cousin is the biotch who got knocked up at like 17 to some dude, yet brings a new guy every freaking year to the party [with her small child, mind you], smokes like a chimney, and is wayyyy too focused on looking like a prima-dona. Yeah, GREAT role model there...). Plus with all the issues I've had lately, the only way to tolerate it is to drink my heart out on Christmas eve.. gonna be interesting to have a sober Christmas eve this year!!!!  But drink sweetie drink!  Enjoy yourself because you CAN.