UO 11/29

lelkcot

You know what they say about options...

meggyme

Haha! I'm getting my UO opinion fix with this never ending WRW thread. I'll have to think of one...

meggyme

Alright!
I hate full panel maternity jeans. Seriously, how does anyone keep them from falling down?
I will never do Elf on the Shelf.
I have no desire to get a picture of my kids with Santa every year.

maggiemadeit

@meggyme Yes to all of that! Full panel pants are the worst, and elf on the shelf is creepy as hell. 

mayoduck

@meggyme I agree with you on all three points! However, all my maternity pants are full panel because those are the only kind they seem to make with real pockets and I like to keep my phone and house keys in my pockets with me at all times. Not having pockets for me is a real handicap

meggyme

@mayoduck yeah, I wish they could put the elastic on the side seams and leave the pockets. My Old Navy jeans have back pockets, but I'm also in the habit of putting things in my front pockets. But when those front pockets are around my knees, it also doesn't do me much good. You'd think with a full panel you wouldn't have to worry about plumber's crack, but you do!

Lbloom

@meggyme I agree with all your UOs. My kids refuse to sit on Santas lap, we don't do the elf thing and full panels aren't fitting me very well and are itchy. But the others won't stay on so I'm screwed either way.

meggyme

@Lbloom I'm wearing my side panel jeans from last pregnancy today and they're a bit too stretched out, but they were working fine with a belt on since they have loops. I just need a bigger belt now. But my new side panels that haven't seen a full pregnancy yet are staying up alright.

Lbloom

That WRW thread you mentioned that's gone on for 6 pages? I'm convinced that is not a real person and is just some internet pseudonym to cover up the creepy person with too much time on their hands, may or may not be a woman and/or more than one person, and is totally creepy because this weirdo gets their jollys off by getting a bunch of pregnant ladies or those wanting to be - all hyped up and defensive. So, let the dumpster fire burn!!

Here's something this person has mentioned in 2 different threads that leads me to believe this is all a hoax. 2 differing stories on this person's "career". Also, this person is a complete narcissist.

Quoted the crazy from the Miscarriage Thread

I have been seeing psychologists. Right now I am working 50-80 hour weeks (and have been for the past year) and live in a poor rural area where it is about an hour's drive each way to a city big enough to draw successful educated professionals. I work 11am-6:30pm monday-saturday at the shop, plus deliveries some days before/after, plus staying late 1-2 nights/week to restock the products I make myself. Because my only free time is Sundays and early mornings and late nights, it makes it difficult to find time to make appointments for medical needs and such during normal business hours, including therapy. I was seeing someone about 2 years ago, but fired her (despite our sessions being free) because her attitude really started to grate on me and her empathy seemed so fake. And she reminded me of my mom. 

Quoted from WRW Thread:

I am very lucky to be self employed, which in my case means I have the option of hiring someone to do some of the tasks I am currently doing myself while I work on other projects that I could either do from home with my child or bring them with me for. Also, I am on track to go into semi-retirement in a little under 4 years. At that point, I will just be working at a hobby level anyway, and primarily from home. And, as a side note (not that I would take advantage of it if I didn't have to) but daycare where I live is $1200/month for 2 children. I can afford that no problem even if my income does not increase at all between now and then. As for them pursuing me for parental rights or me pursuing them for parental responsibilities, I have an idea for a contract that would not 100% prevent that, but would at least serve as a severe deterrent if either of us changed our minds later on.

lelkcot

@Lbloom I honestly hope it’s just MUD, because otherwise it’s a little scary otherwise...
@meggyme I only have one pair of jeans that stay up well and they’re full panel. But I have plenty of other full panel and side panel pants that just don’t want to stay up... just avoiding real pants as much as possible 😂

novelblessings

@meggyme Yea we don't do Santa at our house. Our parents think we are depriving our child. I just keep thinking well I don't have to go take a pic with Santa or explain later that we made him up.

I hate jeans, whether pregnant or not. I can't ever find a pair that fits correctly for length or for my hips. I'm not big by any means, they are just so damn uncomfortable! I also wear full paneled leggings; it makes me feel like I have extra support even though I have to peel layers to go to the bathroom.

meggyme

@Lbloom I totally agree with you! Too many things don't add up. She can't afford health insurance, yet is going to retire soon and can still afford to have and raise a child as a single parent. She's working 50-80 hrs a week and has a side job but can post this frequently. She's a control freak and doesn't trust anyone and knows more than the doctors/lawyers/therapists she's dealt with yet is going to have a kid.

Lbloom

I sincerely hope it's MUD, too. This poster has repeatedly said they don't have health insurance, either. The BS doesn't add up to more than a large steaming pile of ridiculous.

lelkcot

I guess my UO today is I adore doing Santa pictures and get so excited about Santa. I loved the magic of Christmas as a child and want to pass it on to my kids. (Please note - no judgement at all if it’s not your thing!) 

That said, DH kind of insisted on doing the Elf this year and I already hate it...

Lbloom

I've tried to do the pictures with Santa thing. But I guess my kids are extra cautious about strangers. They absolutely refuse and I'm not going to make them. The couple of photos I have where I'm holding them next to him and they're crying... don't do it for me. 
Since we're Christian, I'm thinking of placing our Christmas tree star around the house on the Advent Sundays (so I don't have to do it everyday) and have the girls take their little toy wise men to find it. The elf is just going too far into secular territory for me and there's already so much of that, I wanted to do something a little different in that regard.

lovesclimbing

Yea, she "can't afford" insurance, yet has $30-$40k in extra income at the end of the year. You can't have $30-$40k in extra money per year, even with our insane insurance costs in the US, and not be able to afford insurance. Choose not to spend it on insurance, sure. But choosing not to spend money on something is not the same thing as being unable to afford something. 

As for me:

I like some direct sales companies, and, no, I don't sell and have never sold for any of them. I will buy from brands that I like and have good products, and I will not buy from brands that I don't like and that have bad products, the same as anything else I buy. I love me some Tupperware, Pampered Chef and Mary Kay. Those are the only three I buy from regularly currently. The only issue I have with direct sales in general is that they advertise that anyone can do it and sell when that's not true. If you would not go to work at a traditional office as a salesperson making cold calls and do well, you shouldn't be trying to do direct sales  

And my co-UO with that is I feel no sympathy for women who sign up to do direct sales and wind up with tons of product they have a hard time getting rid of, like with LuLaRoe a year or two ago. If you're continuing to buy to maintain your "level" when you're not selling any or very little, you do not have the business smarts to own your own business and you shouldn't be doing it, the same as if you owned a storefront. And I have no sympathy for people who own a business who don't understand the absolute basic premise of any business is that you can't keep spending money if you're not taking any in. 

meggyme

@Lbloom @lovesclimbing apparently she works on a pot farm someone just added. That actually makes things make a lot more sense...

mihaelams1

@lovesclimbing I'm with you on the direct sales, I got some products from friends selling Younique, Perfectly Posh and LuLaRoe, but I only buy what I need and when I need it, not to help them fulfill their monthly quota. I'm actually wearing lularoe leggings at home these days and they are comfy and fit over my bump
When the LuLaRoe hype started I looked into it deeper out of curiosity. And it was obvious that the customers are not those who buy items, but rather the sellers themselves! They don't get much of a say on what they receive, and corporate just offloads the inventory on them and gets their profit right away. I know it's also because of the nature of the product, since with make-up you just need some samples and you're set, the end customers don't need to try on the full size items. So you don't stock inventory at your house. That's also another drawback - the wife of one of my colleagues is selling LuLaRoe and he said their whole garage is full of clothes and he has nowhere to park his car!

My UO: waiting to potty-train when the kiddo "is ready" is not the best strategy. When we potty-trained our son a year ago at 25 months I got lots of comments from moms with kids the same age that it's too early, he's not ready etc. But I trusted the Oh Crap book and did it cold turkey, without having him sit on the potty just for the fun of it and other such things. And we timed it for our own convenience (4 days at home during Thanksgiving). Guess what? It worked great and by day 4 he was fully trained - he was telling us when he needed to go and there was no timer we had to set, or periodic tries etc. We were then talking with DH when the terrible 2s were in full swing after 2.5 that there is no way it could have gone this smooth if we trained later when he was being so defiant and stubborn. And now the same moms who told me my attempt would fail are asking for advice because their kiddos are either refusing to train, or struggle with poop, or have daily accidents, regressions etc. And they needed it urgently done for pre-school admission... I don't want to be mean and reply with "I told you!", but that's what I'm thinking. 

meggyme

@mihaelams1 Ugh! Tell me your secrets! We tried the Oh Crap method starting at 23 months over a 3 day weekend and have only recently graduated to underwear at home. She started underwear at daycare this week and so far it's not been great. Still in pull ups for naps and nighttime where she usually wakes up having pooped. We're over 6 months in and have definitely hit the terrible 2's now.

mihaelams1

@meggyme It might as well be that the stars aligned the right way when we trained He was waking dry most nights before we started training, and not pooping at night after he was 1, so that's what gave us confidence. I also tweaked the method to use pull ups during nights and naps at first, for our own sanity (no way I would wake at night to force him to pee!). We stopped pull ups for naps after 1 month I think, and for nights only 1 month ago (11 months in!) when he told us he wants to wear undies at night instead (we are also teaching him to use a flashlight to go potty at night and not wake us up for that). He was having 1 wet pull up a month the past few months, but we didn't want to deal with it, especially that we traveled a bit and then DH was gone for work. So it helps that he took the initiative. 
Oh, and we also did 1 month of commando, and no undies until then (he got undies for Christmas!). Thankfully the daycare was supportive (well, I guess they were happy he just came fully trained one Monday and they didn't need to deal with it).

Lbloom

Does anyone else go all out with wrapping special presents that came from the North Pole? I use special paper that is hidden away and only used for Santa gifts. I put special tags on them and use fancy lettering to make it look really different from other presents. I also went out of my way to design a letterhead from Santa and my own reply letter from him that will come from the "North Pole" post master up in AK. So, even if they don't want a picture with him, we definitely like to make it magical. (I'm not sure if my 6 year old buys into the guy sitting at the mall being the real thing? I think she thinks of them as his helpers?)

meggyme

@Lbloom, I don't but my daughter is only 2 and wouldn't notice that yet. I remember my mom telling me she used separate wrapping paper for Santa, but I never noticed as a child. Hell, I barely looked at the tags to see what was from whom as a child.

I've been wanting to get some of those Santa sacks with the kids' names on them but want them to match so I'm waiting at least until next year so I can buy 2. I like the idea of them picking out something to donate to needy kids to put in the bag and then replacing it with their new toys from Santa on Christmas Eve. Mostly I hate stocking wrapping paper, would end up mixing it up and the bags would be easier to hide.

Lbloom

@meggyme That bag thing is an interesting idea, I've never heard of it before. I've already gone through the house and collected toys to donate, and I'm going to have the kids help DH take them in for donating.

In my former life I was a graphic designer so I think the wrapping paper/letters thing just soothes my creative itch. Plus, like me, my kids notice small details like that (even the 3 yo!)

zionsmama85

@Lbloom I do what my mom did, and i think she probably did it to avoid nosy or detective kids LOL....in our family, we open gifts together at midnight at my Grandmothers (now Mom's) house...like all the family, cousins, silblings, etc...and then we all go back to our mutual homes....when i was small my mom would wait till i passed out and put all the gifts from Santa out with no wrapping paper or tags or anything, so when i woke up again, around 7 or 8 then i wouldnt have to open anything. I do that for my son now too. I love your ideas though! very creative! 

meggyme

Yeah, I'm thinking something like this:
https://www.etsy.com/listing/637215072/give-back-santa-sack?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=santa+give+back+sack&ref=sr_gallery-1-2
I have a friend that makes stuff like this that I'd probably buy from. I like that it helps keep the right message of helping others and being kind during Christmas. And would also help declutter my house.

A friend in my old BMB mentioned that they don't do the Elf on the Shelf, but they do a kindness doll that gives them a sort of kindness assignment each day. I like that idea as an alternative, but again I'm probably too lazy to implement it. I'll be lucky if I can keep up with the advent calendar my mom just quilted and mailed me.

applesandbananas23

I'm Jewish so we don't decorate or do big gifts this month (hannukah is actually a very minor holiday). What is elf on a shelf and an advent calender? I have heard of them before but I never really knew. 

meggyme

@abbykwail it's like a Santa spy that people can use to threaten their kids into good behavior because if they don't behave the elf will tattle to Santa on them. Some people have their elves do random mischievous activities, like eating all the candy, or making little messes in the kitchen or just being silly. There is actually a Jewish version that my friend has called a "Mensch on a Bench". Mostly I think it's just because they're a Christian/Jewish family and like to combine traditions of both cultures.

kapowfal

Someone else will have to explain Elf on a Shelf because the people I know who use it only use it for emotional manipulation of their children so I have nothing unbiased to say about it. Obviously, not all parents do, and I'd much prefer if the people I knew used it in a more positive way. Edit: meggyme got to it before I posted my response.

An Advent calendar is basically a glorified Christmas countdown. Advent begins the Christian calendar, and starts the 4th Sunday before Christmas (starts this weekend on the 2nd). Advent calendars, obviously by their origin, can be religiously themed, but some are simply calendars which you use to count up or down to Christmas. I got one for my daughter last year that was North Pole themed and every day, we opened up a numbered door that had a different toy (snowball, Santa, Mrs. Claus, letters to Santa, reindeer, etc). Santa was the last door we opened on Christmas Eve. I've seen toy Advent calendars, candy, make up, skin care, nail polish... There's an Advent calendar for every interest, really.

meggyme

Oops, didn't see the advent calendar. Yeah, the one my mom made is a quilted Christmas tree and there's 25 places for little baggies of candy and each day you eat one. It's basically a countdown to Christmas, but as kapowfal said it's got more religious beginnings. Churches do an advent wreath ceremony and light an additional candle each week, the last week being the week of Christmas.

mihaelams1

We don't do the elf, I find it stupid. But I know some mom friends who gather and plan together mischievous activities for their elves for the whole month of December and then share the supplies... It works better with older kids. And they post it on Facebook and it's quite funny. Like one last night used blue masking tape to pin the elf to the wall and have some toy soldiers "shoot" at him from the bottom. I guess the kids enjoy looking every morning for the elf and discovering the scenes. 

As for the Advent calendar, I lived in Germany for 5 years and DH is German, and it's a big tradition there. All the kids get one. It's a countdown to Christmas, starts on the 1st and goes to 24th. The traditional ones have little chocolate pieces hidden behind doors, and you open one every day. The non-chocolate calendars are recent spin-offs, there are now Lego calendars on Amazon, Costco has beer calendars etc. For our son DH made a custom one, he bought little Santa felt booties and hung them on two red strings, and I wrote numbers on them. And we hung them by the fireplace. We can now reuse them every Christmas. This year we'll fill them half with little toys and half with chocolate (we're still not through the Halloween candy at a 1-per-day rate, that's why).

meggyme

@mihaelams1 that's a good idea to use the Halloween candy. We had almost no trick or treaters so we still have a ton. I've been meaning to bring it in to work.

mihaelams1

@meggyme oh, we'll actually use Christmas-themed chocolates (snowmen, reindeer, little santas, ornaments etc.) which we got from World Market. But my son still has candy in his Halloween basket and we only allow him 1 per day, so we'll balance that with hot wheels, paw patrol figurines etc in the Advent calendar. I'm glad though that you found a use for the leftover candy, ours is still somewhere in the pantry, we got too much and it was raining, so not as many kids came as we hoped. 

mamakate1616

Saw this the other day and thought it was funny. I have a stalker elf not an active elf, and we actually have vintage elves from when our parents were kids (plus some extras from etsy) so each kid has their own spy. They don’t move and no one is allowed to touch, mixed results as far as reminding DD to behave. 
@Lbloom  I am a paper person and love what you have described. I always noticed the paper “from Santa” was the same as the “from parents” gifts and from a young aged planned to use different secret paper for my kids. I also like the idea of Santa gifts being unwrapped, but I enjoy the “art” of wrapping so much I haven’t done that yet (besides the “1 big gift” which is a kitchen this year). 

applesandbananas23

Interesting!!! Thank you, ladies, for explaining!! Mensch on a bench sounds super funny, hahah. My family was always more into food than gifts for Hannukah (we got like, a book and some socks) so that wouldn't have worked growing up, but I love hearing about what other people do for different holidays! 

meggyme

Just got the advent calendar my mom made in the mail. I need to get a bunch of little bags for candy and then we’ll work our way up to the top of the tree! The little rings for the bags to tie to.

lelkcot

@meggyme that is beautiful! And extra special because your mom made it! I was wanting a reusable advent calendar, but wasn’t on the ball for this year.

mihaelams1

I found a picture of ours from last year (behind spoiler) if anyone needs ideas.

zionsmama85

I might have to DIY one myself. My son has been asking about the Trader Joe’s Advent calendar and they sell out super fast so I’m sure it’s gone. However I have always had This saved from a 2012 issue of Parents magazine and I think it’s neat!

Kenneylynn3

@Lbloom I plan on doing what my mom did. She would have sspecialpaper for each child. She would wrap all Santa gifts including stocking gifts in that paper and so when we opened our stockings we knew which Santa gifts were ours to open. It took away the need to tag the gifts.