Mental Health Check-In 11.26-12.2

kayjay44

megpants209

Still hanging in. Still mostly hating life but working to get back to a semi normal routine. Last week I got a fantastic book on processing unexpected death and even though I still have a little over half of the book it’s very helpful. It has given me good perspective and helps me give myself some grace in taking time to move on.  

kayjay44

@megpants209 - I’m glad you found something that’s helping!

I’m hanging on by a thread for a variety of reasons. I really just need to get through the end of the year and then it’s all down hill until maternity leave. 

danixbanani24

@megpants209 something my therapist always says to me is there isn’t really a time limit on grief.  It’s hard and seemingly never ending to me personally so I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing? I hate it sometimes so much because I just want to be done with it but I also try to tell myself that the harder you loved someone the bigger the grief.  Hugs to you.

megpants209

@danixbanani24 I definitely agree, and logically I know that there’s no time limit on grief... we just always have the highest expectations of ourselves I think. It’s been exactly 4 weeks which simultaneously feels  like an instant and a lifetime. Thankfully no one is pushing me to bounce back on any end, it really is completely self-imposed. I know it won’t always feel like this, but some part of me will never get over it. He was my favorite person in the world, just gone without any warning. 

I actually didn’t even realize how much I was still in denial until this weekend when that wall fell and it really hit me that June was the last time I got to hug him. 

sjnsjnsjn

@megpants209 - I am so sorry and yes agree that it will take as long as it takes, which really may be years.
I think the relationship you have (because you still have it even if you cannot see his face anymore) with him sounds so beautiful. I haven’t spoken to my father in 30 years, so I cannot relate at all, but I wish I could!

danixbanani24

@megpants209 August was two years since losing my dad and like you said he was my absolutely favorite person in the world.  I would give anything for another hug or pat on the back from him or to hear him say (in his very thick Brooklyn accent) “hang in there kid” just one more time.  I am constantly reminded of how much I miss him - especially when I was in Atlantic City this past weekend because he loved to gamble too and I always expect I’m going to see him on the casino floor.

anyway i say all that to let you know I totally understand your feelings.  We as humans want so badly to get over our grief fast but it just doesn’t work like that - but I try to take those moments of remembering as a sign that he’s still with me and a rememberance of all we had shared together.  But sometimes I just cry too and that’s okay.  Hang in there, kid!