Mental Health Thread Week of 11/19

tuxielove93

This was obviously popular last week. Sorry it’s already Wednesday, I’ve been having a hard time looking at screens (damn MS) 

anyways, here’s some questions to get us going
1) What are you struggling with this week? 
2) What is helping make things better this week? 

GTKY: What is your go to self care strategy that always makes you feel better? 

tuxielove93

1) I am struggling ( as I did last time) with the total body take over. I can be SO USELESS when I‘m pregnant. In the beginning, it’s the debilitating and unpredictable MS, and the later I get the more my big old baby bump gets in the way of me doing stuff. I also have to take it slower and not just do everything all at once. And it makes me crazy. I’m a terrible patient. I hate sitting around all day, it is not good for me mentally. Also, I end up being so slow with stuff, and it makes me feel like an awful person. And this time I have even more guilt because not only is my DH suffering from my inability to function, but so is my DS and I feel so bad for him. He has no idea what’s going on, and I feel like a terrible mom right now because I’m just trying to survive and I’m not doing what I normally do with him. Add on to that, my mom will not leave me alone about telling EVERYONE because she doesn’t like keeping the secret. I’m trying to make a cute little card announcement (all our family is far away) but obviously I’ve been so sick and it’s been really hard to just get food in me, let alone make a freaking card.  And she keeps pestering me about it and making fun of me for not getting it done yet and now even though I’m feeling better physically today, I’m really mentally dragging thanks to super guilt. 

2) So, full disclosure, my DH is terrible about doing anything around the house. Absolutely crap about it. He doesn’t want to do it, doesn’t pick up my slack, fights with me to do anything, and is ridiculously slow. I asked him to go to the grocery store and make dinner last night. He didn’t stop on his way home, so it took him 2 hours after getting home to go back out and I didn’t get dinner until 9PM. He has not picked up my slack, and we end up fighting when I ask him to do more. It’s really hard, and I wish I had a husband who just stepped up and helped, but mine does not. So while that has been a major struggle, he has done a couple 
things (however slowly he does them) and those few things he has done has made a huge difference. I don’t think he’ll ever get it, or be up to my level of cleaning and cooking, but anything I can get him to do is something. 

GTKY: Normally showers are a life saver for me. Just ten minutes under the hot water in general peace can really reset my mood. However, pregnant me and showers don’t get along. I can’t have it as hot as I want ( I like showers SUPER hot) and I have to take my sea bands off so I end up really nauseous by the end. I don’t have a replacement. So I’m selfishly hoping this question gets me some ideas! 

vv826

@tuxielove93 I'm sorry about your DH I have one of those and know how it feels to try and get them to help!

1) my mental health has always been linked to how I feel physically and right now Ms is horrible. I cant even open my eyes in the morning before it hits me like a ton of bricks. today I'm supposed to work but honestly I just don't know how to make it through. I also feel the guilt Dd2  is so super clingy and I feel so bad because I just want a moment to myself. Dd1 also started her menstrual cycle and while I'm trying my best I feel like I'm not helping her enough through it.

2)I do get a few days off and while we are traveling I plan to come back a day before and just rest! Dh really has stepped up and hes one of those that doesn't help very often so I'm grateful. I just wish that he waits to see if I'll do it before!

honestly I'm not sure maybe sitting down and watching a TV show on my own but right now that doesn't really seem to help....hopefully I get some ideas too!

battleangel

This was a tough week to do the mental health thread but pleeeeeease keep it going. Helps so much

mcassiee

1) Been struggling with MS for the past 3 weeks with major bloating/gas + indigestion + major pregnancy brain. DH is frustrated that all I want to do is sit at home and watch TV. But because of the uncomfortable feeling of bloating & puking when I eat a regular meal, I am down to eating light meals and I'm constantly feeling hungry. I read forums that drinking Gatorade helps, but guess what, apparently my body rejects anything that's not natural/whole food. So I'm unable to take canned/processed food, soda/sports drink, all fried food, oily food. On a brighter note, I guess it's probably a good time to start a lifestyle of clean diet? I have also been saying the silliest things that makes DH roll eyes and wonder where my brain went
2) Taking comfort that I feel less lethargic than I did last week. Hoping that the symptoms will subside as I head towards the end of 1st trimester. 

GTKY: Netflix is my best friend  

ki1244

Welp, cried in the shower this morning. What was left of my symptoms, aside from the irrationality I feel in typing this, is pretty much gone...food aversions/cravings, hip pain, the whole shebang. I don't feel pregnant at all. I've been trying to just be thankful for that, and I really AM grateful to be feeling pretty normal, but I'm also just nervous about it. I'm sort of clinging to the fear as the only symptom, which can't be healthy, but there it is. I'm 10 weeks today, which is allegedly sort of the zenith of when most women feel their worst...and I know I was kind of in the minority already being so asymptomatic AND having a US so early, but I just want to have some confirmation that Baby is ok and still in there, even if I don't feel like it. **possible TW** This morning I kept thinking about what we would name Baby if he/she was gone, and that's what brought on the tears, because I don't want to think things like that but am struggling to clear them out of my mind. **end TW**

I've been going through scripture this morning -- whatever is true, noble, right, pure, admirable, excellent, praiseworthy, think about such things; be still and know that I am God, and I will be exalted in the heavens and on earth; I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your hand and says to you, Do not fear; I say, My purpose will stand and I will do all that I please... I know what I believe, that God is sovereign and loves me AND this baby, and whatever his plan is, it's perfect. If this is an opportunity for me to learn patience and trust, it's for my good. And no matter the outcome, I still believe that God is good and to be praised, IN all circumstances, if not FOR them.

And yet...the fear is real, and present, today. I knew the anxiety wasn't just over a few weeks ago, and somehow it would return, and here it is. Knowing it's likely just in my head should be a comfort (I have no symptoms, but no spotting or bleeding either...) and to some degree it is. I don't want my fears to be justified. But I'm having trouble making them go away today.

vv826

@ki1244 I'm sorry you are feeling so bad today and I know that once Anxiety hits it is so hard to get it out of your head. try to take it easy today 

oecmomma

@ki1244 I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. I can definitely relate. I think getting to the 6/8 week milestone you relax slightly and then a few weeks later the anxiety ramps up again. I know for me it seems so exciting to be getting that much further along but scarier bc of the emotional investment. Something I’ve been reminding myself of that helps is this...
for every bad scenario I imagine there is an equal oppurtunity for a good and healthy scenario to be there too. So when I think “what if xyz bad thing could happen” I immediately repeat “what if this baby is healthy and happy”

its not much but it it helps me with perspective. I know it’s hard to stay positive all the time but your feelings are normal and okay. I hope you feel better. 

Edit: I forgot to add my doctor told me symptoms can also lighten around 10/11 weeks too. Feels like you can’t win! Some of my symptoms go away for a day or two then come back full force. Or I get in the shower and my nipples feel like they will fall off from the pressure 🤣

BlondePeanut

@ki1244 I'm so sorry you are struggling with those anxious fears. I have been pretty wrapped up in similar feelings lately myself. I keep swearing them off and praying. But then the fear returns and it has started to manifest in my dreams now which is not helping. I felt relieved after my check up last week once we heard the heart beat, but that literally lasted only a few days or so and lately I am stuck on the "what if" something goes wrong. I can't seem to get it out of my head either.