My son loves his paternal grandparents, but I think when he gets older and gets to know my mom better (she lives across the country) he'll like her more. My mil is just not very patient and is super uptight. She loves him, but she's not good with him at all.
@willmisspumpkinbeer I will echo others and say that my son is closer to his paternal grandparents. They live closer, and they are just awesome grandparents.
I draw the line at MY healthcare though. Labor and delivery are not a spectator sport. Even if I wasn’t actually pushing, I was barely clothed to nude while in labor, leaking fluid, and in pain. I get to chose who I want in my support circle.
@k2k2tog my mom is the one to get on the floor with my son, can carry him for a long period of time (he's a big almost 3 year old). She's a lot younger than my husband's mother. I feel like my husband's mother needs to get in there more. Get on the floor, play super heroes, etc. She also only sees him a handful of times a year because she lives down South. But, when we see her-- she never has anything for him which is confusing to me. My mom goes to the mall on a random Saturday and picks my son up a cute pair of PJs she saw, or a book, etc. My MIL is very generous with contributing to his college fund for holidays and bdays but I just wish she did the little things more. She also makes an appointment to call every week-- I think it's so strange. Just call! Facetime whenever. My mom bugs me randomly throughout the day- when I'm busy I just don't answer. I don't need the formality of an appointment
@willmisspumpkinbeer Agree with others, it's much more about the type of grandparent you are (as well as your relationship with your kids to an extent). My mom will be the "favorite" grandmother to both my kids and my brother's. SIL doesn't have a good relationship with her mom and she is not maternal (or grand-maternal if that's a thing) at all. MIL is so easily offended - like when DD was an infant. and would cry if being held by her she would just hand her back and walk away annoyed. She would get so excited when she could calm her down and then was like "well I've completely lost my touch" and wouldn't try again when she wouldn't stop crying right away. I see her with her older grandkids (next closest is 11yo) and she's just always scolding and judging. My mom is very much into letting us parent how we want and not judging, even if it was different than the way she did it. The only thing she kind of did to "step on my toes" was saying I should mash the banana a little more for DD's first food but I kind of valued that since I've never given a kid food for the first time.
@missmcgonnagal I strongly suggest getting a doula. My doula was amazing for not only helping and supporting me, but gently helping my husband both be supportive and feel supported. You need to just worry about yourself, but your husband doesn’t need to miss a life-changing experience just so you don’t have to worry about him. A doula helps strike a great balance!
Yes!!!! My doula was wonderful. She helped my husband to be a great support for me.
I think you and your husband may regret it if he’s not in the room.
Re: what should I do about a control MIL
I draw the line at MY healthcare though. Labor and delivery are not a spectator sport. Even if I wasn’t actually pushing, I was barely clothed to nude while in labor, leaking fluid, and in pain. I get to chose who I want in my support circle.
Edited for typos
I think you and your husband may regret it if he’s not in the room.