Re-Introduction (loss, child mentioned)

ittybittybug-2

Thought maybe I should reintroduce since not many are here from when I was here before. In 2015, I underwent IUI and then IVF in pursuit of a child. I did not do PGS and my fresh transfer of two embryos resulted in a CP. My subsequent FET with 2 more embryos resulted in my son, who's now approaching 2 and a half. I had planned originally to transfer my last two embryos in August, but a work change gave me insurance and I decided to switch clinics to one that is better, and closer to my work so it would have less impact, so that brought about delays. Given the poor quality of my remaining embryos, and my insurance coverage, I decided to do a new retrieval and PGS. They sent four new embryos for testing and I decided to risk thawing the remaining two for testing, but both disintegrated when they attempted to biopsy. I ended up with one healthy female embryo, which I had desperately wanted. I proceeded to a FET and after a very long post-retrieval cycle, transferred my one embryo. I tried to control my expectations, but it seemed so likely to be successful. Then on 4dp5dt, I started to bleed a little, and then full flow (see separate post for details if you want them) but testing showed intact lining and no source of the bleeding. Right now the best guess is that it was a reaction to the Endometrin. HPTs showed negative and today my beta results confirmed failure. It has hit me harder than the previous CP. I think because I knew she was healthy, and her gender, and she had a high chance of success. I'm proceeding to a new retrieval, but I'm so afraid that this time I won't get any healthy embryos, that I won't get the girl I'm so hoping for (and it seems greedy to even be hoping for that), or that my next transfer will be just as unsuccessful. 

char245

@ittybittybug-2 I’m so sorry for your losses! I hope your next retrieval goes well!