Just How Pregnant Are You?

madreofdragons

Here’s a for fun thread. Kind of like a Yo Mama joke about yourself. 

Mine today... 

I’m so pregnant I just bought a new bottle of baby aspirin instead of standing on a step stool and reaching up for the old bottle. 

allthingsgo

Haha! I like it!

I’m so pregnant that when I drop things now I ask DD to pick them up for me instead of having to bend down and get them myself. She enjoys it so it’s win/win!

etnyah

I’m so pregnant H has gotten into the habit of asking me before he eats anything in the fridge/cupboards. He knows if he eats something and I was planning on having it later, I’ll be inconsolable.

lzzfrancisco

Screen shotting my FB update last night for lazy reference. 

disneybaby84

I'm so pregnant, I'm already thinking about lunch by 10 am every morning and thinking about dinner by 3:00 in the afternoon. 

kayjay44

I’m so pregnant that I can’t wait for the newborn eat sleep poop phase because I know it will easier than the rest of my pregnancy. 

okayestmom12

@allthingsgo - Yes! My kids are basically my human grabbers these days. 

okayestmom12

I’m so pregnant that I have more food dreams than I should admit to. 

lzzfrancisco

DD heard me grunt this morning, and she said "what, you can't reach something?" sweet little 3yo already being so helpful to her mom!  

kayjay44

Luckily, I have prehensile toes, so I can pick up most things unless it lays flat on the floor!

lmaplejc

I’m so pregnant that my dog is depressed that she can’t fit on my lap anymore.

madreofdragons

Tossing undies with your toes should be an Olympic sport. 

cas060

Im so pregnant I dropped my container of paperclips down the back side of my desk.... I left them all there.  Yup, they are all over the floor under my desk still.  But in my defense, my boss told me to leave them, Lol

bellebaby221

I'm so pregnant I currently have a collection of goldfish crackers under my desk that will remain there until our custodian remembers to come back and vacuum. 

dcaron10

I’m so pregnant I have to ask DH or get a step stool to reach the last few items at the bottom of the washing machine (I’m really short and it’s a top load machine lol)

sjnsjnsjn

I’m so pregnant that I now, in meetings, rest my arms crossed on top of my bump like a giant old fat man.

bww_0331

I’m so pregnant I ate two breakfasts back to back today. 

Im so pregnant I made a game out of DS putting shoes on my feet so I didn’t have to bend over. 

changadee

I'm so pregnant that I also cannot reach clothes at the bottom of our washing machine. And I'm 5'8".

I also bought fake Uggs a few days ago because I don't need to bend over or sit down to take them on and off. They're hideous. I regret nothing.

megpants209

This is my favorite gauge of pregnancy tracking. Currently I’m so pregnant my belly is my table when I’m on the couch. 

cali1710

I’m so pregnant I turned around and smacked my bump on the doorframe. I need to learn what my new radius is.. 

megpants209

@cali1710 I OFTEN think I can still fit in the same places. The number of times I bump people and have to say “sorry I thought I could still fit through there...” is getting embarrassing 

etnyah

@cali1710 Yeeep. I keep forgetting that turning sideways does NOT equal becoming smaller anymore. 

cali1710

I’m also so pregnant I legit use my bump as a table for my tv snacks. 

ohsunnydays

I'm so pregnant that DH needed to help me put on my shoes this morning ... LOL

conni0205

I’m so pregnant that when I sit in my chair at my desk my belly hits the desk and I can’t reach where I normally kept my keyboard. Thank goodness for wireless keyboards.

also LO kicks me if I get to close to the desk.

bleucheeznwine

I'm "I snissed in my underwear, but not that much, so no sense in changing them because it will just happen in ten more minutes" weeks pregnant.

bellebaby221

I'm so pregnant I no longer dry my legs with a towel after I shower. If it requires bending to reach it I just let it air dry. 

BourbonBiscuits

I’m so pregnant I had to move the seat back in my car. 

Also there are three stages of pregnancy: 1. Wearing my own clothes. 2. Wearing my husbands clothes at home, but my clothes in public. 3. Wearing my husbands clothes in public. Almost to stage 3. 

becks_726

I'm so pregnant I had a small dance party when my 12 lb dog decide to jump in the car today instead of insisting that it's too high and I have to lift him. He's such a good dog! 

This thread is pure gold! 

kayjay44

@bleucheeznwine oh yes totally. Peeing a tiny bit when I cough, sneeze, whatever isn’t enough for me to change. I am already going through my underwear too fast because I legit pee my pants when I puke now. 

bleucheeznwine

This snissing is totally new for me. Didn't happen with DD, but little man is sitting way low. I'm running through, like, 3 pairs a day. Won't miss this one bit.

allthingsgo

@bleucheeznwine new to snissing here as well! This did not happen with DD and I was shocked the first time it happened to me this pregnancy. It really sucked when I had a cold a few weeks ago. 

madreofdragons

Didn’t see this coming when I started this thread. I’m so pregnant I just fell into my Christmas tree and got stuck for a second. Leaned over the arm of the sofa at the pelvis to unplug the sucker and teetered a little further forward than I anticipated. Into the tree face first with my feet in the air. Farted while pushing myself back up. On that note I’m going to bed. 😩

cali1710

@BourbonBiscuits ive also had to move my seat back, but I’m short so I cant move it anymore or I wont be able to reach the peddles. And my bellys still touching the steering wheel again. 

kayjay44

Yeah, snissing didn't happen until I had one kid. If you have a third, I will warn you, it's even worse.

I'm so pregnant I bought a yoga ball to use as a chair at work because my pelvis is dying a slow, slow death.

bleucheeznwine

allthingsgo said:

@bleucheeznwine new to snissing here as well! This did not happen with DD and I was shocked the first time it happened to me this pregnancy. It really sucked when I had a cold a few weeks ago. 

Yep, currently have a cold, so it's been really fun. Being sick and pregnant isn't fair in general.

allthingsgo

@bleucheeznwine definitely unfair. Hope you feel better soon! 

lifeislove87

I’m so pregnant I can’t go grocery shopping without having ten side conversations with strangers about my fetus. 

ThePax89

I’m so pregnant that anything that falls on the floor is dead to me. 

ThePax89

@kayjay44 you are not kiddin. My pelvis is opening wide enough to accommodate a smart car it seems. And the peeing...

madreofdragons

I’m so pregnant I no longer bend over silently.