Difficult time with my boys — The Bump
Two Under 2

Difficult time with my boys

I'm currently looking for some support or advice in dealing with my sons. I have an almost 3 year old and almost 1 year old and their quarreling is driving me insane. Anytime I ask somebody in my family or friends about it they just laugh and say yep that's boys or that siblings. I'm an only child and have never dealt with the sibling issue and it's been wildering me. My oldest will walk up and hit, smack my little one while he thinks he's playing and no form of punishment makes him stop. I've calmly explain to him that hitting is bad, that it hurts brother, anything you can think of and nothing works. They do love each other very much but most of the time the three-year-old takes it a bit too far And then it's just screaming mass chaos.

Re: Difficult time with my boys

  • I don't know if this will help ... but a thought that my sister told me, when I was talking with her about concerns with brothers fighting (full discloser, I don't have any kids, still trying on that front).  She said that it's important that the brothers have external expectations that they *are* each other's best friends, and *not* that they will fight.  Perhaps look for ways to strengthen their friendship?  
  • Boy, do I remember all to well those early days of struggling with a 3 year old. I once had a doctor tell me that the first 2 years of life are not when it's difficult, but the 2nd year of childhood, aka, the 3's are tough. You are doing the best job you can do, keep up the good work! It will all pay off. Stay consistent, protect your little one and keep them separated if the older one can't behave and stay safe with his sibling. It will get better, just stay consistent in your message to each of them. I know it's hard to go through, you're doing a fantastic job being mom!!
  • I have a 3 year old and an 18 month old. The 3 year old can be very aggressive, but it’s usually just because she is so excited about how cute “her baby” is... the only time she is intentionally harmful to the baby is when I accidentally come across too harshly when telling her to be more gentle. Try to keep an expressionless face when correcting your older child. And, don’t just tell him that’s too rough, or whatever. Show him ways that are acceptable to touch the baby. For example, my older child tends to try to hug the baby with her arms around he baby’s head and neck. And I say something like: uh oh, that might give boo boos. We hug bellies, not heads, remember?
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