PGAL Week of 11/7

sparklingdiamond

This thread is a safe place for those who are pregnant after a loss. (PGAL).  If you have suffered a loss please feel free to answer the questions below and keep things going throughout the week as a continuing conversation. 

If you haven’t suffered a loss, please refrain from answering the questions, but know we welcome anyone who wants to come in and support the PGAL ladies and their milestones with encouragement or love tits! Thank you! 

1. How many weeks are you?

2. Previous loss(es)?

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically?

4. Any appointment updates?

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? 

6. Any milestones coming up? 

7. GTKY: What is your favorite TV show?

sparklingdiamond

1. How many weeks are you? 8w2d

2. Previous loss(es)? CP, Early m/c, Stillbirth at 32 weeks

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Ok overall.  Tired a lot.  DS is sick with strep, so that's no fun.  
 
4. Any appointment updates? I had an u/s with my RE today and he said we can do one more next week or he could release me.  I opted to go ahead and do it next week for my peace of mind.

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? I have been at this current job for about 3 months now.  They are so much more understanding when I have to work at home or be out because I have a sick kid of anything like that.  It's so nice.  My last job claimed to be understanding, but they really weren't.  I think it helps that there are other women at this job with kids as well.

6. Any milestones coming up?  My next milestone is the NT scan and that is a big one for me.  That's when we found out about the CDH in our daughter.  So I am obviously super terrified of it.

7. GTKY: What is your favorite TV show?  Mine is the Office!  I can watch reruns all the time.

ruby696

@sparklingdiamond I'm not one of the women who get excited for the NT scan so they can find out the sex. That's like the last thing I think about - please just tell me everything is working how it's supposed to be. I can't imagine how terrifying it is when you've already had a terrible experience once.

1. How many weeks are you? 6+5

2. Previous loss(es)? 2 MMC's and two CP's.

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Feeling okay today. I'm still trying not to get my hopes up. I'm having more symptoms that the last time, so that's been reassuring, until they go away temporarily. Then I freak out.

4. Any appointment updates? First US is next Tuesday. 

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Nope, not today.

6. Any milestones coming up? My last MMC was at 6+2, so I'm assuming I passed that one. Next one is 8+0.

7. GTKY: What is your favorite TV show? No real favorites right now. I'm waiting for Stranger Things and Mindhunter to return.

sparklingdiamond

@ruby696 I am also kind of scared to find out the sex of this baby. I really want a girl because that is what we lost. Part of me doesn't even want to find out until later.

sparklingdiamond

Sorry duplicate post and it won't let me delete.

ruby696

@sparklingdiamond This is our 3rd and final, and we have one of each, so I think we are going to hold off on finding out the sex. I can understand why you would want to hold off, but if it's a boy, do you think you would need time to process? I only ask because my MIL was devastated when MH was born a boy. She didn't stop crying for months.

Sorry, I hope I'm not overstepping. I just wanted to throw out a different perspective. 

bumblebee0210

1. How many weeks are you? 8+5

2. Previous loss(es)?  MMC Dec 2017, CP Jul 2018

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically?  Physically: sick and exhausted. Decided to try going without unisom (thought it might be contributing to fatigue), and had a miserable day Monday. Back on it and feeling better (just queasy, not pukey).  Emotionally: starting to get anxious for my 10 week US. Still feeling very disconnected from the baby part of pregnancy (while being fully in the throws of the symptoms part). 

4. Any appointment updates? 10 week apt w/US next Friday 11/16

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Rave-- just found out my SIL is also preg and due 4 days after me! First two grandkids in the fam so my mom is beyond thrilled. Plus my SIL has had a lot of infertility issues plus a miscarriage with donor eggs, and then got pregnant naturally! What a crazy world. I have to confess to you guys though that one of my first thoughts was "oh no I really can't miscarry now, it would ruin this for everyone!". I hate those feelings. 

6. Any milestones coming up? I'm "past" my furthest point from last time, but I had a totally asymptomatic MMC (as in, I still had a LOT of symptoms, no bleeding, etc), so I don't really trust that I am actually past it til I see that scan at 10w.

7. GTKY: What is your favorite TV show? One favorite? Hard to pick. Loved the Wire, GoT, Westworld, Mad Men. 

jessica4141

1. How many weeks are you? 10 + 3

2. Previous loss(es)? Ectopic and CP, both this year

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Physically -  My nausea went away for a few days but now I'm having random, unpredictable bouts of intense nausea, usually at night. Sometimes I'm so tired I need to get in bed at like 8, but other nights I can stay up and function.  It really seems to all depend on the day.  The only constant that I'm thirsty all the time. Emotionally -  I'm  doing a bit better on the anxiety front, but like everything, it comes and goes. I'm still not willing to let myself actually feel excited, but maybe starting to feel hopeful. 

4. Any appointment updates? NT u/s is an eon away on 11/27

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? For ladies who have an at home doppler, do you find it helps with PGAL anxiety? When can you start to use it? Is it hard to figure out how to do it right? Any brands you recommend? 

6. Any milestones coming up? Past my milestones

7. GTKY: What is your favorite TV show? Currently, it's probably the Good Place, of all time is another question

prpl11butterfly

How many weeks are you? Um....somewhere between 7+1 and 8+5 

2. Previous loss(es)? MMC in March

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Physically nothing has really changed. Expect I smell. I use mens deodorant (solid gel to salvage my dress clothes) and by lunch I feel the need to reapply. And lower back pain like crazy. Emotionally..... I'm back and fourth. I'm trying to convince myself that I've had 1 successful pregnancy so I can have another and that I'm treating my body in a very similar manner to my first (better even with the vitamin changes)

4. Any appointment updates? US Fri am

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? 

6. Any milestones coming up? I guess Fri US could be one. But I just want to hit that 2md tri....

7. GTKY: What is your favorite TV show? Greys Anatomy, easy.

I'll come back for tags tomorrow. So so tired.

ruby696

@jessica4141 I have a doppler, but it's been a while since I've used it so I can't tell you the brand. I can tell you that it wasn't very expensive and I LOVED it. I started using it around 13 weeks I think? I limited myself to a couple minutes once a week and stopped once I could feel baby moving. It gave me so much reassurance. 

meatballs37

@prpl11butterfly just wanted to chime in that I’ve had lower back pain all day long too. I’ve tried a heating pad, lots of water, and acetaminophen. Nothing touches it. Sigh. I hope it’s nothing for both of us. 

carleym93

@prpl11butterfly Also having crazy lower back pain. Part of it, I think, is I need more supportive shoes. Part of it is also that I have a touch of scoliosis in my lower back that is exasperated by the weight of my uterus pulling my center of gravity off. I need to get in to the chiropractor ASAP. 

sparklingdiamond

@ruby696 I've thought about that too. And I know DH will want to find out. I do want to know too it's just I hate to admit I will be disappointed a bit if it's another boy because this is our last and means I will never have a living daughter.  When I was pregnant with her I didn't care if she was a boy or girl.  But now that I had a daughter I lost I just really want another girl 

ruby696

@sparklingdiamond I totally get it and you get no judgment from me. I think that's one of the (many) reasons loss is so hard. You lose a person, an idea, and a dream about what your family is going to look like.

antera23

1. How many weeks are you? 7+3

2. Previous loss(es)? MMC at 10 weeks by the doctors numbers and 12 by my numbers, July of this year. 

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? 
Emotionally, I am a nervous wreck. My MS changed and it really freaked me out. I’m super sensitive to my change in symptoms and it scares me when they change. 
Physically, I feel very run down. I kind of understand when people say it feels like their body is not their own. I’m having a hard time because my body only recognizes these pregnancy symptoms as being sick because that’s the only context in which I’ve ever felt this way before. So I feel like there’s something wrong with me. Then I realize, no it’s just pregnancy. 
I have no energy. I’m perpetually exhausted in that bone deep weary way. I have to take it slow in the morning otherwise I gag and throw up. I go from being STARVING to eating and then being queasy. The sick feeling lasts until suddenly I’m STARVING again. My boobs feel huge and super sore. I’ve been having a few cramps.  

4. Any appointment updates? My next appointment is on the 16th! I’m terrified/excited! 

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? 
I have this relatively rare skin condition called hidradenitis Suppurativa. Right now it’s acting up under my breasts, especially my left one. I’m worried that will interfere with breast feeding. No one seems to have an answer for me yet. I’m hoping i’ll see a doctor who can help on the 16th. 

6. Any milestones coming up? When I went to the ER the baby was measuring 7 weeks and 1 day. Which is past the milestone when my other baby stopped developing. That made me feel calm for about 1 day, lol. I just don’t feel reassured. 

7. GTKY: What is your favorite TV show?
Gilmore Girls!!!

antera23

@sparklingdiamond your feelings are so valid. *hugs*

meatballs37

3.5 hours until our scan. I feel like I might throw up out of nerves alone. I had horrible low back pain all yesterday and through the night. It has me worried. I hope it’s nothing and my pgal brain is just in overdrive. I do know I have a tilted uterus. So maybe it’s pushing on my back?  But I don’t remember it hurting like this in previous pregnancies. 

DH and I talked last night and he doesn’t want to try anymore after this pregnancy, no matter how it turns out. Of course that made me cry. I feel so much pressure now to do everything to take care of this pregnancy. But I also understand how much stress with our losses has added a hard dynamic to our relationship. 

nmbrcrnchr1

@meatballs37 thinking about you this morning! I hope the next few hours fly by and there is nothing but good news at your us. Please keep us updated! This is also our last pregnancy so I totally understand the pressure. It just sucks we have to think this way. 

carleym93

@meatballs37 Thinking of you today! FWIW, I also have a tilted uterus and it definitely causes some back pain. 

prpl11butterfly

@meatballs37 fx and thinking of you today.  I'm going to jump on board here and say it's the tilted Ute because now all 3 of us had back pain and I too am tilted (thank you DS....)

dntstpbelieveing

@meatballs37 thinking about you today. 

meatballs37

@prpl11butterfly

yeah I never knew I had one until with my first pregnancy. They couldn’t find DD on a Doppler until like 16 weeks. And even then it was difficult because of an anterior placenta. I didn’t show with her until I was like 18 weeks. But I for some reason don’t remember back pain (until the 3rd trimester, when everything hurts). 

ruby696

@meatballs37 Thinking of you this morning. 

bakerstreetboys

@meatballs37 Thinking about your this morning and waiting to hear that everything looks great   I always have a ton of lower back pain in pregnancy, and I don't even have a tilted uterus.  My OB has always said that it's normal.

@jessica4141 We have a home doppler and used it with DS.  I can't remember the brand off hand, but I ordered it online, and it cost just under $100 (CAN).  We could pick up his h/b sometime between 9 and 10 weeks.  It was hard to get the hang of at first, but so reassuring! 

1. How many weeks are you? 7w today

2. Previous loss(es)? 3 in the past year

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Physically I feel like crap, so that's helping a bit emotionally.  I'm nauseated all day, exhausted, and my boobs are starting to hurt.  I get that queasy feeling if I'm hungry, but feel sick again shortly after eating.  I was in bed at 7:58 last night and it was so awesome.  I'm still not letting myself get excited about this pregnancy, but allowing myself some hope.

4. Any appointment updates? Next u/s in a week with RE.  Waiting to hear back from my OB to see when he'll start seeing me.

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? I'd love for my hips, back and head to not hurt so much.  I miss Advil.

6. Any milestones coming up? A couple of them have passed, but I need to make it to second tri to get past MMC milestone.

7. GTKY: What is your favorite TV show? so hard to pick just one!  I love NCIS/Criminal Minds type shows, Gilmore Girls, Stranger Things, Sherlock, The Good Wife, The Mindy Project, and right now I'm watching The Good Place.  It really depends on my mood!

sparklingdiamond

@meatballs37 Thinking of you today!  I have had the lower back pain lately too and also have a tilted uterus.  I know it's so hard not to stress.

@bumblebee0210 Oh I loved Westworld too!  Are they going to do another season of it or that was the end?

@jessica4141 I bought a doppler with my second pregnancy, but actually felt movement quite a bit earlier so never really used it.  I bought the Sonoline B.

@bakerstreetboys I had to stop watching Criminal Minds because it was too creepy.  Now I think every person looking at me is out to get me somehow hahaha.

@antera23 That's how I have been.  I will be so hungry and then nothing sounds good. Then suddenly I'm starving again.

bakerstreetboys

@sparklingdiamond There were definitely a couple of seasons that were just too creepy. I couldn't watch it unless my husband was home.  It has gotten less brutal over the last couple of seasons though.  But yeah, I definitely side-eye anyone I deem to be creepy!

eleven_

@meatballs37 FX so hard! Will be thinking of you, friend 

mackorori

@meatballs37 hope everything goes well today. 

1. How many weeks are you? 10 

2. Previous loss(es)? MMC 7/16 and 8/17

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Physically - constantly hungover though I think I may have hit the peak (hoping). Emotionally - a good US yesterday = a good day. That being said I was super stressed about it since we are coming to the time we lost our first (~11 weeks) and I was crushed being in my ignorant state of bliss. I know the next few weeks will be hard but I’m seeing old friends this weekend and Thanksgiving is soon, so those are great distractions.

4. Any appointment updates? Officially moving on from the RE and the OB happened to have an appointment for next Monday. Will discuss all the options for genetic screening/testing available.

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Things have been slower at work lately, which is great for getting in an occasional nap when I feel like crap, but also leaves me too much time to think. It’s both a rant and rave.

6. Any milestones coming up? I would like to get through genetic screening/testing unscathed.

7. GTKY: What is your favorite TV show? It varies...I have a Netflix “my list” to watch with a bunch of these documentaries about disturbing crimes like Making a Murderer, Wild Wild Country, Evil Genius. I love Grey’s and am sad Timeless will not be renewed. I also have a disturbing love of anything Real Housewives, but I’m way behind in my viewing.

antera23

@meatballs37 I am thinking of you today! 

sparklingdiamond

Well I knew these were coming up, but got surprised by a memories post when we announced the CDH diagnosis publicly.  I only read a little bit of it and decided maybe I shouldn't read that.

bakerstreetboys

@eleven_ Glad to see you posting, I was wondering if everything was ok!

@sparklingdiamond I'm sorry, that's so tough.  Creepy internet hugs.

eleven_

@bakerstreetboys Thanks for thinking of me. I've just been really tired and down this week. Only here to offer support to my PGAL friends 

ruby696

@eleven_ Glad you popped in. I start to worry when I don't see my PGAL ladies around. 

meatballs37

Baby is good! Measuring 3 days ahead! HR of 184. I’m relieved! Waiting for the doctor to interpret more and chat with us. 

sparklingdiamond

@meatballs37 Hooray!!!

Dcwtada

That is just the best news @meatballs37! So so happy everything looks great! 

ruby696

@meatballs37 I saw your name on the US thread and felt such relief! So happy things look good 

ETA: love the little arm and leg!

kjr9519

@meatballs37 I’m so happy you got good news! 

1. How many weeks are you? 7+4

2. Previous loss(es)? MMC 7/18

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Physically, nausea went into overdrive Tuesday and yesterday (and probably will today too), so that helps emotionally because I at least think it’s a good sign for the pregnancy. That and there’s not a whole lot of mental energy left to be worrying.

4. Any appointment updates? I’ve got my first real appointment next Wednesday. It feels like I’ve been waiting forever for this appointment.

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? I think I may start taking B6 and unisom for this nausea. I could handle it when it was mostly just queasiness, but now it’s started to get in the way of me being able to function. Do I need to contact my Dr. before starting it, or is it a pretty safe OTC option? (I only ask because getting ahold of my Dr. is next to impossible at this point).

6. Any milestones coming up? Hopefully, this upcoming ultrasound will be passing a milestone for me. My pregnancy with my MMC stopped progressing at 8+4, and I’ll be 8+3 at the US, but this week, LO was measuring 2 days ahead. So, it would be passing the first milestone to see LO measuring past 8+4. The big one for me, though, will be to get past 12 weeks.

7. GTKY: What is your favorite TV show? I don’t know about all time favorite, I’m never good at picking those things. Right now I’m really into Outlander, though.

nmbrcrnchr1

@meatballs37 yay!!! Your US pic is so cool! So glad you got good news 😁

bakerstreetboys

@meatballs37 Hurray for a great u/s, and what a cool picture!

@eleven_ I'm sorry that you're having a rough week, but glad that you popped in.  Take care of yourself, and I hope you're feeling better soon.

sparklingdiamond

@meatballs37 I love 3D ultrasounds!