Monday Bitch Fest 11/05

keighty80

Let it all out! 

bumbly_b

I picked up a shift today for a friend at work. At the time is didnt realize I was off sunday and Tuesday. Kicking myself for giving away my 3 day. But the person is very good to me at work so it's really not that bad, that's all I've got  

lappymom2019

I am just bitchy that it is Monday and I am feeling nauseous today. I think I am going to start wearing maternity clothes because I am so tired of being uncomfortable at work. I told my boss today so at least it is out there now.

peachy13

@lappymom2019 i wore maternity tops this weekend and it was awesome! I'm just letting it out. 

One of my friends is pregnant and really hates it. Ashamed of her growing body, complains every chance she can get about how horrible it is to be pregnant, she can't stand being "fat", needs wine, etc. Not only that, but she's also made it super clear that she's not ready to be a mom and she is doing this for her husband who wants kids more than she does. But of course she did her social media announcement and everything is wonderful and happy and beautiful and amazing... #soblessed. I mean I'm not going to get mad about what goes through a pregnant woman's head everyday, but I'm not a fan of the fake social media stuff, whatever the subject is.

DuchessOfCambridge

My cat's pissing me off. He's all over me and knocking things down and he keeps scratching at a bag in our pantry and if he tries to use it as a litter box, I swear, there will be hell to pay. I don't think he will, he's never had an accident but the scratching is making me insane and he jumps into the pantry anytime I open it. It's SO ANNOYING. Also, I'm so over DST and DS's mood about it. Just go to sleep if you're tired! I also started the day with an extreme poopsplosion that almost led to me throwing up on DS (thankfully I didn't) so, MONDAY.

mariposa_767s

People need too much at work today and I just want to crawl under my desk and take a nap.  To hell with them all!

@peachy13 I had trouble with my first.  I didn't "get it", but had a huge epiphany moment when I laid eyes on him.  Now I LOVE being a mom.  I hope your friend comes around.  That has to be super annoying for you.

fatmonica

Its the first week of the month which means DH has work stuff every night this week.  Last night something was cancelled so he was actually free, but after church he took his weekly Sunday nap and then worked in the garage until I was in bed, so he might as well have been gone.  Then this morning he told me that "we" should clean the house really good this week so its nice and clean when we get back from vacation.  I know "we" means me because he never does housework besides occasionally vacuuming (he does do all the yard and repair work).  I don't disagree that it would be nice to come home to a clean house, but having energy to do extra cleaning hasn't been happening lately. To add that on top of packing for all of us and doing evening parenting solo all week puts me in a bitchy mood. 

peachy13

@mariposa_767s totally understandable! I know not everyone loves being pregnant.

keighty80

Imma just bitch about the crazy lady on the flu shot thread who just popped in to drop a deuce on the safety of vaccinations (with nothing to back it up, of course). 

megsb615

Yesterday we went over to our friends’ house to hang out and eat dinner. Their DD is a couple of months older than DS, and they have fun playing together. They started out playing fine with the normal not wanting to share toys, but later on when we were finishing up cooking, I noticed DS kept getting upset and crying, so I started watching them closer, and the little girl would push him down or run up to him and hit him in the back, and it would upset him and make him cry. I know she wasn’t intentionally being mean to him because she probably plays like that with her older brother, but it kind of upset me for DS. Obviously, he was over it after 5 seconds and back to laughing and playing again, but I’m still annoyed about it. I did tell her not to push him when we were all eating dinner, and I saw her do it, but it’s awkward correcting someone else’s kid, but DS depends on me to speak up for him, and he knows that’s not the nice way to play (because they don’t allow it at his daycare obviously). I’ve been thinking about it today, and I’m still kind of mad about it. 😒

expandcontract

@fatmonica I never understood packing for other people.  Packing for kids, I get.  But another adult,  no. When we first got married and were traveling,  my husband expected me to pack his stuff. "'How am i supposed to know what YOU need for the trip? And besides,  you're an adult,  " was my response.  He wasn't too thrilled.  Lol. But now he doesn't expect it.  

fatmonica

@expandcontract my husband will pack for himself, but he won't do it until the last minute, which stresses me out.  I'll have to do the laundry to make sure he has what he needs, plus find stuff for him, so its almost as much work as just doing it myself. 

DuchessOfCambridge

@megsb615 that would make me sad and I get that about correcting someone else's kid. The parents didn't say anything? It's hard because you're right, they depend on us to protect them even if it makes others uncomfortable!

brie_and_almonds

This is stupid, feel free to ignore:
SSIL (due in March) just found out she's having a boy, which is great, and what they were hoping for, but I am worried about DH's reaction if this baby ends up being another girl (we won't find out until our anatomy scan in a month). He definitely had disappointment that DD2 was a girl, and even though he claims he won't care this time around, I don't really think that's true. It's stupid, but I feel like it will be weird forever if he's always looking at their little boy and wishing ours had been a boy too. Probably stupid to worry about at this point, especially since if this baby is a boy it will be a non-issue (although then I worry about DD2 getting treated as "extra") but that's what my brain does.

kvh22

@brie_and_almonds I haven't been there although if this LO is a girl, we could be with the next (already one DD). Right after we told DH's parents about DD (at 6 weeks), FIL said he was hoping for a grandson to carry on the last name. No one asked them what they were hoping we'd have or what we though so it was just weird to me to say it right away. There could be a piece of that last name thing when finding out but he should be able to do many of the "boy" things with any daughter whose interested. It's probably normal to mourn not getting to raise a son or a daughter, though.

Some might take this the wrong way, but DH had said "I'm raising a son either way" jokingly when we would say we weren't finding out until delivery with DD. He absolutely adores her and it's so sweet to watch. He can be really sensitive so maybe he has that going for him (he cried at our wedding and DD"s birth and I didn't) but I've always looked at it as he'll be super into sports with any and all of our children if that's what they want. He has tea parties with DD now. I started doing it and he definitely mimics what I do when I play with her as opposed to knowing how to do it on his own but he does it without prompting from me. I know you already have 2 girls so the fear aspect isn't part of it any more for him but that was DH's biggest hang up...the unknown.

megsb615

@DuchessOfCambridge No, not really. The mom ended up taking the little stool away that they were jumping off of because her little girl kept trying to push DS off of it or take it from him, but that was about it. It’s not that big of a deal I guess, but it still made me feel bad seeing DS get his feelings hurt. 

@brie_and_almonds I get where you’re coming from. My husband was hoping for a boy when we were pregnant with DS even though he said he’d be happy with either, and I remember wondering if he’d be a little disappointed if it was a girl. 

mrskoz428

I’m getting so pissed with the nurses in the OB department at my clinic. I mean, it’s a huge clinic with a bagillion patients and a billion departments that serves close to 15 counties in my area. However, if I’m messaging you telling you that I nearly fell from blacking out and fainting, you should probably get back to me. The communication from the nurse end of this pregnancy has fucking sucked and I’m so sick of it! My midwife is amazing and I can’t imagine going somewhere else (honestly I can’t anyway because my insurance only covers this clinic) but they need to get their shit together before I rip them a new one with the patience excellence department. If I can’t make it through a day without having black-out vision, there is a problem! End of bitching...maybe.

kvh22

@mrskoz428 okay you're issues earlier this pregnancy with the nurses there make me hesitant to say this but our message system (essentially patient portal email) says if it's urgent, to call. Did you try that and they're still not getting back to you? Maybe not as big of a deal but the labs in network for my insurance are Quest which totally sucks! They've messed up 3 blood draws between me and DD (of 6 total). Imagine having to bring an infant back for a redraw!

mrskoz428

@kvh22 it’s pretty difficult to get ahold of the nurses on the phone, either. I may just try that. I messaged them Sunday because they are much quicker about responding to messages before the day starts, but clearly I was wrong.

kbeers13

My Assistant is such a complainer and is over her job. I'm hinting that if they aren't happy anymore, they need to look elsewhere... If not, I'll have to go through a long drawn out process to get rid of them... I don't want to do all of the paperwork. 

kbeers13

Also minorly stressing that I'll be needing reviews and recommendations on almost all items to put on my registry. Seems like a ton of work.

megsb615

@kbeers13 It is kind of daunting with all the products out there for babies. I spent so much time reading reviews. The good thing is this group has a bunch of helpful ladies!

DuchessOfCambridge

@kbeers13 babybargains.com or their book for sure! So helpful. I put off my registry because I was SO overwhelmed and the Baby Bargains book helped a ton.

kbeers13

Thanks ladies! I'm even overwhelmed to go lurk in the recommendations for breast pumps let alone the new week one for everything. I keep telling myself "suck it up buttercup" but it hasn't worked yet 😆

MaggieG183

I am exhausted. Today I 100% overcommitted myself. I forgot about 2 different meetings that I had during my preps and then also told a colleague that I would watch her gym class during my lunch period. So in addition to the normal schedule of home room, Algebra, two gym classes - where I kicked my own butt and burned 452 calories, I then had a data meeting that I was totally unprepared for and looked like an idiot. Then I covered gym for my friend. Then went to a contentious IEP meeting for a student who recently was suspended for bringing pot to school and smoking it in the bathrooms with his buddies - completely unrelated to his IEP (individual education plan for someone who qualifies for additional support - special education). I managed to finally get a lunch in at 1:40, literally during the 3-minute passing period between the IEP and my 2 afternoon math classes. I was so hangry by the time math came around, that I almost laid into a kid for being a minute late to class when he had a pass from the office. Goodness, I need a break and it’s just Monday. 😢 

kbeers13

@MaggieG183 all I can say is Oi! That sounds awful! You deserve at least an hour of relaxing peace and quiet!

sleepy33

@kbeers13 I 1000% credit my first BMB for helping me learn what I did and didn't need, what was the best buy, and generally how to parent. I constantly found myself talking to other moms IRL and being surprised at how much more I 'knew' than them, just from spending time here. Just take it slow, don't be afraid to ask questions if you forget later or can't find it even if it's already been discussed. You'll be fine!  

kbeers13

@sleepy33 Making me tear up in appreciation over here! LOL Damn hormones! I really appreciate this BMB group and am so happy I have a good one! Nine months with a horrible one must be really shitty.

mrskoz428

I know it’s not Monday, but I need a place to vent and this seems like the right place. Please forgive me if this gets annoying.

*TW* I received a text last night from my sister that my niece attempted suicide (5th or 6th time in the last few years). She was rushed by ambulance to the hospital where they pumped her stomach of the meds he overdoesed on and placed her in the psych ward. I am a complete wreck. I’ve been struggling with my own depression right now and watching her hurt and struggle is so hard for me. I just cried last night. I skipped out on a work meeting, went to bed at 5:30, read a book for 2.5 hours, and could barely get myself out of bed. My heart is hurting so much for my sister and my niece and I just don’t know what to do. I feel like I can barely help myself but all I want to do is help them. Ugh! *TW*

Thank you for listening. ❤️

eatinwatermelonseeds

@mrskoz428 I am SO sorry. That is terrifying. I'm so glad she was found and I'm so glad she's getting help, but I really hope they're able to find something that helps for longer. Poor girl. And poor family. Depression is a horrible, hopeless illness.

mrskoz428

@eatinwatermelonseeds she’s only 17 and this is her 6th trip to the psych ward. She stopped taking her meds because she thought she was doing okay. And then her boyfriend broke up with her. I was her same age when I was diagnosed. It’s so hard.

eatinwatermelonseeds

That's the shitty thing about taking meds. They trick you. And your mind tells you you shouldn't be on meds forever anyway, you feel great, you don't need them. Ugh. Poor girl.. This is the hardest fight. I wasn't diagnosed until I was older and I didn't hurt myself until I was older, but the first time I ever wanted to die, I was 17. Now it feels so young and my heart breaks that anyone that young (and even younger) could possibly feel that way.

I don't think I can get into it until after I have more nursing experience but during nursing school I developed a passion for adolescent psych. There's so much hope for her, I just hope she's able to see it. I would be a hypocrite to try to come up with ways for her to stay on her meds, because I have come off of mine hundreds of times because I "felt good." I'm hurting for her, and for you. I hope there's more they can do for her this time. 

mrskoz428

@eatinwatermelonseeds I hope so, too. I can’t fault her either. I have gone off my meds plenty of times. Once right before I found out I was pregnant. I can only keep praying. 

lappymom2019

Exactly what @eatinwatermelonseeds said! I wish we had more mental health awareness and it had less of a stigma so that people would feel more comfortable about taking meds and seeking help.

eatinwatermelonseeds

@mrskoz428 there's something so terrifying about a constant battle with your own mind. My heart breaks that she is going through this. And really that anyone does. I went cold turkey off my meds a year and a half ago. And I think if I'd been on them when I got pregnant I might've been compelled to get off them again (despite logic).

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm sorry she's going through this. 

mrskoz428

@lappymom2019 I completely agree!
@eatinwatermelonseeds thank you. ❤️ I just keep praying

kbeers13

@mrskoz428 as someone who struggles with depression and has struggled with suicidal ideation multiple times, I find myself to be in a better place mentally when I know that my life helps others. I started giving platelets knowing that me being alive and donating physically helped people with cancer within a week of my donation. I started donating my time to causes where I saw an end result of my work as someone's appreciation on the other end. 

There's a program near me called a basket brigade where before every Thanksgiving, we collect canned goods and a couple companies donate frozen pies and turkeys and we deliver a laundry basket full of free Thanksgiving type food the weekend before Thanksgiving. Three mothers cried and gave me a hug when I delivered mine. Two invited me into their homes as a thank you. The sheer appreciation from someone who "isn't obligated as family to love me" made me realize that my life can and does touch so many more people than you realize.

eatinwatermelonseeds

@kbeers13 exactly why I became a nurse. I needed to give my life purpose, and helping others is that purpose. 

eatinwatermelonseeds

I just kind of went off on a friend and it was warranted because she's been doing shit that has got to stop. But then I felt bad because I don't like being a bitch. I feel like shit now. I wish this could just stop so I could have my friend back. 

kbeers13

@eatinwatermelonseeds that's a tough one. You're a good friend to call her on her shit. Can't be an enabler.

mrskoz428

@kbeers13 I was donating blood once a year, as that’s all my body can handle, but stopped after a really scary episode where I passed out, because I gave twice that year. I do a lot for my students and they definitely help me get through the tough days.

I don’t know how to help my niece, though. She’s only 17, a senior in high school. Her labs just came back and she did some pretty scary damage with the drugs she OD’d on, which I don’t even know what they are. I’m seriously scared. Thank you all for being my make-shift therapy group. ❤️