Weekly Randoms 11/5

ladystout08

ladystout08

My candidate had a rally with VP Biden yesterday and while I'm SO glad I went, I have not recovered. Since I'm on the campaign staff they hooked me up in the small area with the speakers and got me a chair but I still stood for a solid two hours and I HURT. I took tomorrow off for election day but now I have to take my 3 hr GTT before I head to the polls. Tomorrow will be chaos. 

MrsDho11

@ladystout08 ouchie! Any time for a warm bath today? And yes. That sounds like a crazy tomorrow.

jgil85

This time change has really kicked my butt. Ds was up and just chatting in his crib at 5 this morning! Thankfully he ended up going back to sleep but I'm hoping we can get back on track soon. 

I have this one small dry patch on my upper lip and its bothering me. I think it's from using a lip exfoliator, it's so annoying. 

ladystout08

@MrsDho11 probably tonight. I'm gonna need it before tomorrow. lol Especially because my husband is working election security so I'm solo with DS for pick up/drop off/etc. 

kianarain

I'm pissed that mental health days are so frowned upon. At least in my experience, people will easily give you a day for a physical ailment but will definitely raise a brow if you need a day to recharge mentally. 

I feel like I've been such a trooper at work this pregnancy. I think I've missed 1.5 total days, and all appointments I've either made up the time in the morning or afternoons. This week I just need a f*cking break. This weekend went by way too fast, and was filled with cleaning/logistics so I feel like I got minimal rest. Now I'm in a position where, if I'm honest, I may get denied the day off because 'mental health days' are not a thing at my company lol. So I may just lie and say I have a killer migraine and need the day off, which feels shitty but ya gotta do what ya gotta do? 

ladystout08

@kianarain they really should be a thing. I'm lucky in that, I can just say "I'm not coming in today" via text and I'll get a "everything ok?" and I say "yeah, just need a day, see you tomorrow." 

kianarain

@ladystout08 that's so nice! But also should be the norm - unless I'm SUPER physically sick, I can usually work but just do it from home so I don't contaminate others. It's the mental fatigue that gets me to where I just can't put in the work. 

It's definitely a cultural thing at my company since the partners are workaholics & usually put in 12-15 hour days & never, ever take a day just because. They could delegate way better and not work that much, it's just all they know and I have a feeling they like lording it over everyone. So even though it hasn't been specifically denied before, I just feel like shit saying that I need a day when I do a normal 8-9 hour work day most days. And by the time I need a day, I'm not willing to risk them being like mmmm no. Or feeling the guilt trip. Just ranting about how much I hate that mental health isn't valued equally as much as physical health. It's all one thing to me. 

ladystout08

@kianarain I think it's really just because I work with a all dudes who would get squeamish if I mention the word menstruation so they just make sure I'm not on my death bed and leave it at that. lol But you're totally right, it SHOULD be the norm. And I hear you on the mental fatigue, people need mental health days. 

kianarain

@ladystout08 oh god, I wish! My boss will be like "I'll be away from my desk for 2 hours because I have a mammogram" or "I'm having a spot removed on my hand, so if I'm typing slow the next week I apologize". It makes me feel like they need a full medical update to excuse every minute of time I'm away from work lol

jgil85

Ugh I'm sorry @kianarain. I remember always telling my employees that I valued them and their honesty and would never deny them a day if they came to me and needed a mental health day. We all need a freaking break sometimes and especially when you're pregnant I feel its more important than ever. 

kianarain

@jgil85 I've always thought that honesty was the best policy! It just sucks when it seems like my rationale would be invalidated and makes me consider an...alternate route lol. 

kmos816

@kianarain I also could use a mental health day! I just checked and I still have some time left to use for the rest of the year, I was trying to save it all for next year but think I need to dip in. Luckily my boss is very understanding and we have "Personal Days" at work to use for anything- but if I were you I would just lie if it's going to be a huge deal.... at least its cold/flu season, easy excuse!

PolarBear517

@kianarain That whole calling in process has always frustrated me. Luckily my current employer has a call in line that administration checks every day so you don't need to talk to anyone or tell them why. You just leave a message with your name and what clinic you're scheduled at & can simple say "I won't be in today". No need for a technical excuse until you've missed 3 days in a row. I prefer this to my last job where I had to call the manager each time and if you left it at "I won't be in today" they'd definitely follow with something like "Oh no! Not feeling so good?" - I always felt like I had to elaborate and sometimes it just feels uncomfortable or like you're being judged!

kianarain

@PolarBear517 I want to believe that they ask the "not feeling so good?" or "everything ok?" question because they're being thoughtful & are concerned, but I just know that's not the case lol. I always feel like I have to offer an excuse. 

sfgiantsgamerbabe

It wasn’t uncommon for teachers at my school to take a few mental health days. Our principal was fine with it as long as we secured a sub. Mental health days are just as important as a regular sick day. 

After my MOPS meeting at church today, I went to pick up DS from his class. He announces to the other kids “Hey, everyone! This is my mom!” It was sooooo stinking cute. 

sparkymcgeee

Mental health days are fine where I work as long as you have the PTO. You can literally use it for whatever you want. Unfortunately, on my team, you cant make up time so you have to chip away at your PTO. I have none left because of that. 

Which leads me into my random/rant. Today was next level insane hell. We have two main offices. One here in UT and one in the bay area. Obviously cost of living and therefore wages are higher in the bay area. They let almost everyone go in that office today. Three members of my team and the manager in that office. The managers boss, a few of her level counterparts, entire departments if they had a counter department here. Other departments will he absorbed into some here. 
We were already shorthanded in our department. I don't know how we will keep ahead of the work. I'm already working 50 hour weeks and I'm feeling stressed. We have a blanket approval for all overtime moving forward. 
My boss is concerned this will put me into early labor. She was already concerned because she knows my history of PTL and doesn't think I'll make it to January. I really hope I do. 

alexandraseattle

@kianarain My go to excuse idea is pink eye. You don’t have to sound sick. In two days you’d look fine. And you would struggle to stare at a computer all day working from home. Boom.

pttomato

I’m having flashbacks to grad school. I took a day off because I was sick and felt awful and my advisor called to ask if I could still come in, at least for a little to run a few things. The “never take a day off” culture that seems common in the US is terrible.

sweetyjenj

Going off what @kainarain and @ladystout08 mentioned about work, DH tells me about this girl that is in IT at his office. She's 2 weeks ahead of me, but has only come into the actual office like 3 days since reporting she's pregnant. She just emails saying she's working from home, but DH said the days she's needed to come in for training she seems totally fine. She always claims a headache, back pain, nausea, etc related to being pregnant, and the entire IT team of men just let it slide. IMO, she's got it EASY! Sure, maybe her pregnancy is harder than mine is, but really???? Being that I'm a mental health professional, I work with 80% women, and most of them at my office have at least 1 child under the age of 5 lol while they sympathize with ailments, they wouldn't stand for me taking several "work from home" days.

kmos816

Anyone else excited for winter weather?

Something about having a winter baby has changed my entire attitude about the cold! I just saw it’s supposed to snow today and couldn’t be more excited! (Normally I hate winter)

leighbrek

@kmos816 Nope, still dreading winter. I absolutely hate those dark, cold months!

skilouise

@kmos816 Nope, I'm really dreading months of dark and being cooped up inside for months.  I'm also really bummed about missing the ski season!  I'm hoping we'll be able to manage at least one day or weekend trip to a local WV mountain in late Feb / early March, but I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much. 

kaf1788

@kmos816 I have a tenish minute walk to the subway every morning sooooo no. Not excited for winter weather lol. And the sidewalks are NEVER shoveled. The upside is that I will most definitely be using the weather as an excuse to work from home as much as possible before the baby comes. I work for an insurance company and I'm preeeettty sure they don't want a pregnant person slipping and falling on ice on the way into work on their hands.

wkuandrea

agh @sparkymcgeee I'm so sorry to hear that about work! Try to keep really strict boundaries set up about not working too much and limiting stress (riiiiggghhtttt... easier said than done).

kmos816

LOL guess I'm the odd one!!!!

luckymay2x

Re winter baby weather discussion 

DD was a winter baby (Feb 2015) and I was really unhappy being cooped up. A lot of the time it was ice that kept us inside -- I was worried about slipping with her. Also, during some of the storms our power would flicker and I was really nervous about keeping her warm if we lost power. Being home in spring was awesome - we were outside almost every day and everyone was happier.

Not really looking forward to another winter newborn period, but I have sort of planned for things based on my last experience. I've already scoped out good indoor walking places (malls on weekday mornings, etc). I have good, warm gear for outside stroller walks as long as it isn't icy and side walks are clear of snow (and it's relatively warm). 

I do really enjoy hanging out with a newborn with the fireplace going tho- something very special abouy that.

tosh24

I strongly dislike the cold but enjoy the look of the snow. I really take advantage of the cold weather and less sunlight to live life more slowly during the winter months. I feel like a hibernating animal and I'm OK with that. Not being go-go-go all the time like in the summer is really nice and I enjoy using the weather as an excuse to get into comfy pajamas, lay around under blankets, watch movies, and otherwise recharge my batteries. It can get tough being cooped up with a newborn (both my kids were fall babies) but I found just walking around the mall and window shopping and chatting with other moms in the nursing room to be enough for me until the weather warmed up again. 

leighbrek

@sweetyjenj That's a pretty sweet gig if you can get it! Haha

DH is too lax about everything. I have all these goals about things I want done before baby comes, and I told him I want the car seat installed by the end of November ( because you never know). He has spent one day in the last 7 months helping toward the house prep goal, and thinks he can install the carseat the day the baby is ready to come home.
Cue paranoid panic.

molosmiles

@leighbreak my SO was like, 'I can literally go buy a carseat when you are in the hospital, relax' DEAD. At that point I just decided to do it all myself. 

leighbrek

@molosmiles What the heck is wrong with these people??

CoastieGirl79

@luckymay2x I never thought about walking at our local mall! I was so concerned about how I would get back to walking. Thanks for mentioning that! 

sweetyjenj

Solidly NOT ready for winter. Minnesota gets very cold and windy and snowy and just blah. Makes me miss living in Los Angeles so bad!! Today started out raining and ended with snowing.

luckymay2x

@CoastieGirl79 some community centers and local gyms will let you walk on the indoor tracks with a stroller, too. There are more indoor walking options than you might think, just have to watch for them.

molosmiles

My 10 year old was resting her head on my belly while the baby rolled around and she was so happy!! It made me happy. I tell my 2 year old to put her hand on my belly and she does for one second and then laughs hysterically. These are the moments that make it all worth it!

tosh24

My youngest sister is getting married next year. I was talking to her about registering yesterday and she said she's not registering anywhere because they have everything they need (they've lived together for a couple of years in a place they own). I said "Oh, so you're not going to have a bridal shower, then?" to which she replied "oh yeah, I'm still having a shower, just a monetary one". I have no idea if she realizes how tacky that is but, as one of the hosts, I'm now going to have to figure out how to be tactful about her request....FML.

kmos816

@tosh24 that's frustrating! That's the tackiest thing IMO..... as a gift giver I hate giving cash or gift cards and much prefer giving gifts. Maybe suggest registering for just a few items, and then setting up something else so guests have options?  There has to be something they need, even if its boring! Depends on how open your sister is to your advice!

alexandraseattle

@tosh24 suggest she makes a cash-type registry on Zola! We were in a similar situation when we got married last year. DH and I are mid 30s with a house and all the stuff we need. So we “registered” for some big items we needed - like a new refrigerator. People chipped in money towards it and I got to text them all a picture of me hugging our new fridge once it arrived. (Also sent normal thank you notes, but I was so excited about the fridge.) 

DHs friend got married last weekend and they also didn’t have a registry. One of the groomsmen was in charge of a big group gift (giant meat smoker) and anyone who asked about a registry was texted back by him asking if they wanted to chip in. We just PayPal him some money and we got a photo of the groom yesterday smiling with his new smoker. Maybe a bridesmaid would be willing to do this for her?

Mandamay1414

I wish Zola existed (or that I knew about it) when I got married.. I feel like I was the tacky bride that really wanted money instead of actual gifts. This was mainly because DH and I were moving to Boston 2 days after our wedding into a 450 square foot apt. We were only taking what we could fit in our car and buying most of the big stuff there, so it meant that we would have had to leave a lot of bigger gifts behind. I love the Zola idea!

bradleysmommy28

Does anyone know when Buy Buy Baby triggers your completion coupon?  I've already gotten and used my Amazon & Target ones but there are a few things specific to BBB that I still want to get so I'm just playing a waiting game now...

MrsDho11

Re: car seats, if you don’t have a big back seat, I’d definitely get on those SOs to help you install sooner rather than later. I did when I was KU with DD and although H was reluctant, I was so glad I did because it turned out the first seat we got didn’t fit!