Total downer subject, just need some support — The Bump
Parenting

Total downer subject, just need some support

I am 29 weeks pregnant with my 3rd child and this baby came completely by surprise. I am very excited about it, my husband was not happy when he heard the news. Anyways off to my problem....

My husband works on the road. While I am at home during the week working a full time job and taking care of our two boys. He leaves Sunday night or Monday morning and is gone until Thursday or Friday night. When he comes home he always does things he enjoys for the entire weekend. If he is home on Friday he calls his mom immediately in the morning so she can watch the kids while he does what he wants till I get home from work. 

Today I told him that I would like to do things on the weekend too and he responds by saying. “If you have things you need or want to do they need to be done during the week. When I’m home it’s my time.” So I reminded him that I’m not just sitting around the house when he is at work. I’m working as well and taking care of the kids which leaves me no time to do things. I also don’t have the convienence to call someone to come over and help if needed. He comes back and says, “ if you can’t handle it you should have done something about it before it was to late.” He is talking about the pregnancy. 

 I feel so unappreciated in this home.  I love my kids to death but I am lonely and I have no support. What am I suppose to do? Am I just over reacting? 

Re: Total downer subject, just need some support

  • I am 29 weeks pregnant with my 3rd child and this baby came completely by surprise. I am very excited about it, my husband was not happy when he heard the news. Anyways off to my problem....

    My husband works on the road. While I am at home during the week working a full time job and taking care of our two boys. He leaves Sunday night or Monday morning and is gone until Thursday or Friday night. When he comes home he always does things he enjoys for the entire weekend. If he is home on Friday he calls his mom immediately in the morning so she can watch the kids while he does what he wants till I get home from work. 

    Today I told him that I would like to do things on the weekend too and he responds by saying. “If you have things you need or want to do they need to be done during the week. When I’m home it’s my time.” So I reminded him that I’m not just sitting around the house when he is at work. I’m working as well and taking care of the kids which leaves me no time to do things. I also don’t have the convienence to call someone to come over and help if needed. He comes back and says, “ if you can’t handle it you should have done something about it before it was to late.” He is talking about the pregnancy. 

     I feel so unappreciated in this home.  I love my kids to death but I am lonely and I have no support. What am I suppose to do? Am I just over reacting? 

    I'm sorry you're dealing with this. It sounds like he is not being a very good co-parent. Perhaps remind him that he is a father to your two (soon to be three whether planned or not) children as well and despite being gone often that still remains a fact. I'd probably recommend counseling for you and hopefully for both of you to be able to come to an amicable agreement about this. Perhaps explaining the underlying reasons behind you wanting his help would drive him to be more proactive. It's not laziness or poor time management like he may think, it's literally working 24/7 without a break or chance to unwind, like he gets to do all weekend.

    As for during the week, can you find a trusted babysitter to come by once a week to give you a break. Being a mom/working all day and night is exhausting and sometimes our society is quick to place guilt when we need a break, but it is really important to carve that time out for ourselves. If you can't afford a sitter, maybe trading babysitting with a friend every other week.
    ME: 32  DH: 32 DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
    kiki75knottiea07f004b586a9a93
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards