November TWW — The Bump
TTC After a Loss

November TWW


Me: 31 DH: 31
  <3 DS born 6/2017, became a heart angel 8/2018 <3
CP 3/2019
char245
«1

Re: November TWW

  • I'm somewhere in the TWW.  Maybe 8-10 DPO?  I'm going to start temping next cycle and really get in the TTC game.  Of course some irrational part of me is hoping to be pregnant this cycle because my due date would be around DS's birthday.
    Me: 31 DH: 31
      <3 DS born 6/2017, became a heart angel 8/2018 <3
    CP 3/2019
  • Also in tww after a loss....hoping to be pregnant this cycle....testing is on loss baby's due date ....age we loss other baby with this one would coincide with month we found out we're pregnant.....fingers crossed
  • Loading the player...
  • I'm at the tail end of my TWW... technically I think I could test but I'm too nervous, I want to wait until I'm actually *late* 
    I've been moody and got my usual hormonal spot on my cheek last week so even though my fingers are crossed, it does seem unlikely. Hope others are lucky!
  • Practically started TWW. Probably 2DPO. FX for everyone this month!
  • I go here now. 2dpo. Not at all hopeful but my 1st RE appointment is a week from today! Let’s hope the other half of my medical records gets here by then :grimace:
  • GL ladies!!
    I'm 11 DPO. The last couple days of TWW feel soooo long... Trying to wait till Friday to test.
  • @Kath525 GL and I’m impressed with your restraint! FX this is your month :heart:
  • Ugh! My body is giving me EVERY PG symptom I've ever had... nausea/queasy feelings, super sore boobs, exhaustion, etc. But BFN Monday and Today. Guess I'm waiting for AF. Super sick of this... been over a year of trying since I've been PG last.  *sigh*
  • @dpjennifer sorry for the BFN, some days on this journey are just so hard!! 
  • char245 Yeah, it's the whole "Life Sucks and then you Die" motto....  
    But, I'm excited for your next round of IVF and got my fingers crossed for you!!!!!
    char245
  • @dpjennifer the TWW symptoms are the WORST! Wish I could just fast forward through the next 10 days

  • @dpjennifer that’s the worst when you feel all the things but still negative. 

  • So... I guess I'm 1-2 dpo. I'll go with 2, since I had a temp spike yesterday. Positive OPK on 6th am. Which was supposed to be my due date. However temp fell today, so.... Maybe I didn't actually O. My body has been super screwed up this month.
    I actually ended up in the ER on the evening/night of the 6th with intense lower abdominal pain. Tried to wait it out. In the end, none of our differential diagnosis fit symptoms well enough to be comfortable waiting it out without further tests, so we went in. Which... As a health care provider, I HATE doing. But my OB couldnt get me in until the end of the month, and my GP just closed his practise so I couldn't see him. Anyway, it seems I had a cyst causing partial ovarian torsion. Hense the pain. Doesn't explain the bleeding I had earlier though.

    I dunno. I don't have a lot of hope for this month.
    I was really hoping to be pregnant by our due date, to help me get through it. But we survived. Though spending it in the ER was not what we planned haha.

    I've got my FX for everyone else! Please bring on the good news! 
  • I go here now, even though my chances are super slim. DH has a broken neck and doctor's orders were for no sexual activity for 6 weeks which would put us past my FW. So we snuck the very softest BD we ever could do just once. And luckily since its been 6 weeks, it didn't take long 🤣 I'm doubtful it took but a gal can hope. 
  • @40momma here’s hoping it was the lucky try! How are you both doing otherwise?!

    @chillycanadian that sounds excruciating! I hope you’re feeling better and FX for some good news soon!
  • I went to my first RE appointment yesterday. Neither of us loved the doctor (he kept saying “whatever that means” which I get—some of the things I’ve been told aren’t measurable—like a sticky spot in my uterus. But when he said it about my focal placenta accreta I was more put off—like you have my medical records—which you clearly haven’t read AND it was dx by the pathology department at your hospital. I’m fine if he doesn’t  think that’s what it was, but at least have read the actual report and because of that have a valid reason before you dismiss it.) However, he was very optimistic. I’m going in Friday most likely for Day 3 bloodwork and then early next week for a saline ultrasound and endometrial biopsy. He thinks it’s scarring, an asymptomatic infection from the 3 D&Cs and/or placenta removal OR we’re just regressing to the mean and it’s just taking longer to get pregnant this time but nothing is actually wrong. He suggested maybe IUI if nothing comes up with the ultrasound or biopsy, but thought we could probably get pregnant without it. It was the most optimistic appointment I’ve had in a year (despite not loving him). I’ve got a second opinion on the 4th so I figure I may as well get the testing done now since the window is perfect. The RE we’re meeting with next is supposed to be the best surgeon in the area and people swear by him for IVF/other fertility treatments (despite the office being a hot mess) 

    My question: is there a way to get the records quickly from these next tests?! 
    dpjennifer
  • @mwmiller4 that’s wonderful that he was so optimistic! Sorry his bedside manner is crappy! Hopefully your tests go well and give you some answers. I’m not sure how fast you’ll get the biopsy results but I knew the results of my saline ultrasound the very next day. 
    mwmiller4
  • @mwmiller4 in my experience getting records from one doc to another is like pulling teeth 😂 but still, sounds like a great appt minus the creepiness! 

    9DPO - ready for this tww to end. 
    mwmiller4
  • @mwmiller4 I’m glad your RE is optimistic, but I’m sorry for the bad bedside manner.  One of my pet peeves is when doctors don’t review medical records ahead of time.  I hope your testing and your second opinion go well!
    Me: 31 DH: 31
      <3 DS born 6/2017, became a heart angel 8/2018 <3
    CP 3/2019
    mwmiller4
  • Thanks @mwmiller4 I'm still holding out hope. We are both doing ok. Definitely some roller coaster moments. He's stressed being off work and feeling useless and I'm exhausted from doing all the 'blue jobs' around the house. But when we think of what it could've been, we are both very grateful.  I'm sorry this doc is a dud. I was recently referred to a specialist and he just rubs me the wrong way. No bedside manner whatsoever, but he's supposedly really good so I'll keep going. Our amazing OB has moved out of town so now I'm stuck driving an hour to see this new guy that I don't love. Fingers are crossed that both of these guys learn better manners 
    dpjennifermwmiller4
  • mwmiller4 and 40momma I've been to 2 REs and they were both dicks, honestly. No bedside manner. The one kept pressuring us for IVF, and had no bedside manner. The other one ran some more tests, but then told us I was fat for an hour and a half and if I lost 21 lbs, my MC rate would be the same as if we paid a ton for IVF. *sigh* I think it's a prerequisite to have no bedside manner and be snooty as h*ll to become an RE.
    I just kept telling myself that it didn't matter how pompous and rude they were, as long as I ended up with a baby at the end, that's all I cared about. Which I didn't, but yeah... hopefully your experience will go better!  Good luck dealing with those REs!
    mwmiller4
  • mwmiller4mwmiller4 member
    edited November 2018
    @40momma I hope things get easier around your house soon! And I’m so sorry about your OB moving—it’s hard enough without being comfortable with who you’re seeing! @dpjennifer I think you may have uncovered the secret RE qualification—you make embyos in labs, friends. You aren’t actually gods. I mean, it’s amazing, but you’re manipulating biological processes not creating life out of dust or whatever. 

    Today is CD 1 and I’ve never been so happy to see it—I have bloodwork scheduled for Friday and my SIS scheduled for Monday. I switched clinic locations so I could take a half day and lo and behold the RE who will be doing the ultrasound is one who 5+ people recommended but didn’t have a new patient appointment until mid Feb. She’s supposed to be great (and a nice human—I let you know if that’s actually a thing on Monday).

    Idk. I wasn’t so offput by his bedside manner that I wouldn’t go back buuuut I’m not above shopping around—like a mediocre first date. I kind of expected him to be a bit arrogant. I was surprised that he didn’t read the records and then that he was so casual about our situation—he told us that if I didn’t have a history if D&Cs, he’d tell us to keep trying for another 3 months because I’m “only” 37. At least he didn’t push IVF and was even reluctant to talk about IUI. At first it seemed like he didn’t think there was a possibility of scarring but before we left he said “if I’m being honest, I do think there’s probably either scarring or infection.” So IDK what his resistance was at first—maybe to make me feel like it wasn’t that dire and not to give up hope? I’m all for straight shooting and low interventions but it feels like no one wants to listen to me (or read my freaking file) and then when I firmly insist on something (like an ultrasound in the operating room post D&C to check for retained products) sure as god made little green apples, I am right and they missed something and had to go back in. I get that it is usually horses not zebras, but my uterus is more like a unicorn with the weird things that happen in it and I’m the only one who ever knows the full history because no one ever read the freaking file. 

    So. Sorry for the rant. I’m very salty today. :grimace:

    Someone please get pregnant this month—we can use some great news around here!
    dpjenniferchar245
  • @mwmiller4 good for you for advocating for yourself! That’s one thing I’ve learned through this process and through what my dad’s going through. As my sister (a nurse) always says, they are just people, they are no better then us and they DO make mistakes so we know our bodies best and MUST advocate for ourselves!
    mwmiller4Kath525
  • Couldn't decide where to post this but decided to post it here. After many long discussions and another cycle that ended in many tears, DH and I have decided to stop trying. I'd like to say we're letting go rather than giving up. It obviously wasn't an easy decision but it's time for us. I didn't want to just ghost out without thanking all of you ladies that have supported me the last 2 years. You have been seriously amazing. You've made this whole journey a little more bearable. I wish you all the very best and am hoping you all have a different ending to your stories. Much love and hugs to you all!
  • @Kath525 I’m sorry you had such a long difficult journey, I wish you the very best! We will miss you! 
  • @Kath525 it is such a difficult decision to make.  We will miss you but completely understand your decision.  I wish you the best! 
  • @Kath525 I am so sorry that you've had to reach this point. I wish you the best in whatever life brings your way.
  • @Kath525 I’m sorry you are leaving, but I hope you find peace and healing over time.  Hugs  <3
    Me: 31 DH: 31
      <3 DS born 6/2017, became a heart angel 8/2018 <3
    CP 3/2019
  • @Kath525 wishing you the best and I hope you find peace as well. I’m sure that it has been a very tough decision to make. 

    Afm - out again. My due date is this Friday. Getting through this week and the holidays feels overwhelming. Somehow each month I find myself sadder than I ever imagined I could be. 
  • @obsessedwithoranges sorry about the due date. I hope you are able to somewhat enjoy the holidays. 
  • mwmiller4mwmiller4 member
    edited November 2018
    @Kath525 I’m going to miss you and your kind, supportive notes. I hope you feel more at peace after making the decision and I wish you so much joy in the days and weeks to come. 
  • sorry to hear this and also sending you peace after coming to this decision.


    I'm now over here in the TWW, I somehow managed to O over the weekend even though I have been spotting every day since my AF (first one since my loss). This cycle is still very weird so we will see how it goes.
  • @obsessedwithoranges So sorry for CD1.  It's so cruel month after month.  Be kind to yourself.
    Me: 31 DH: 31
      <3 DS born 6/2017, became a heart angel 8/2018 <3
    CP 3/2019
  • tosh24tosh24 member
    edited November 2018
    ***lurking***

    @Kath525 I'm so sad to read your update. I'm really sorry your journey has led you to the point of having to make this decision. It totally sucks and can't be easy. Thank YOU for being such a supportive member of the TTCAL community - I know I appreciated it when fumbling my way through my own journey. I'm wishing you peace and love as you move into the next chapter of your life  <3
    Me: 35 I DH: 38
    *TW loss and children mentioned*
    DD:2006 | Dx: Unexplained Secondary Infertility | DS: 2011

    TFAS since 2012

    Oct 16: Spontaneous BFP | m/c @ 9w1d (massive SCH) | D&C
    Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN
    May 17: IUI #2 = BFN
    Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w
    Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN
    Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies)
    Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN
    Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen  
    Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN
    Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
    Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = cancelled due to missed ovulation
    Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = BFP! Beta 1: 201  Beta 2: 585 Beta 3: 3254 Beta 4: 9715 U/S 19May - one bean measuring on track with a HB of 125!
    EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green
    My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019 <3 

  • @Kath525 I am so sorry you find yourself making this tough decision. I hope your heart can focus on healing. Take care of yourself. You will be missed.
  • @kath525 - ***lurking***  Left you a PM - us deciding to stop TTC was the best decision I made for my mental health.  I'm so much happier and in the present moment.  It could still happen cause we aren't preventing but I'll never actively try again.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • @Kath525 I’m sad for you that you had to make that decision, but I hope your family has peace with it. Thank you for all the encouraging words over your time here in ttcal. You’ll be missed.

    Sorry everyone for ghosting for a bit. I had my one and only first ‘should have been due date’ anniversary yesterday. I played the distraction game and made it through. More sad about it today honestly. I’m still in the TWW 10dpo today but trying to hold out for AF rather than peeing on too many sticks. We’ll see how my self control holds out. 
  • In 2ww after embryo transfer on Saturday 17th.
  • @Kath525 I can't imagine how difficult your journey must've been to get you to this point. However, making a decision is probably the healthiest thing you can do, because what you do now is in your hands. I wish nothing but the best for you and your husband. *hugs*
  • @justarius sending you so many hugs and I have my fingers crossed so hard for good news for you :heart:
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards