March 2019 Moms
govanalyst86
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The Childcare Thread
govanalyst86
member
This thread is about childcare- who you plan to have care for your children in your absence and why. It may feel too soon to start thinking about childcare arrangements, but depending on where you live and what your needs are, it may be time to start thinking about it.
1. Question for STM+: what have been your strategies for childcare? What’s worked great and what have you learned about making arrangements?
2. What are you thinking your childcare needs are (one day per week, full time, PRN, etc) and how will you make plans (family, childcare center, in home daycare, etc)?
3. Any other thoughts, questions or ideas on childcare?
1. Question for STM+: what have been your strategies for childcare? What’s worked great and what have you learned about making arrangements?
2. What are you thinking your childcare needs are (one day per week, full time, PRN, etc) and how will you make plans (family, childcare center, in home daycare, etc)?
3. Any other thoughts, questions or ideas on childcare?
Re: The Childcare Thread
We use a state licensed in home care provider. I like that it’s a small group and DD1 hasn’t gotten sick too many times but it also has the oversight of being licensed and subject to random inspections and held to certain standards. Because we’ll be moving right after I have DD2 I’m not sure what our situation will be and it does worry me a bit to not have it organized ahead of time.
As far as babysitters, getting personal recommendations is great. I’ve had good luck in my neighborhood using NextDoor.com. I really just require knowledge of CPR/basic first aid and someone that will follow my directions and have fun with my kids. We’ve used people between ages 17-35.
I went back to work when DS was 5 months and we used an unlicensed home daycare very close to my work. I NEVER would have chosen an unlicensed place except for the fact that the woman running it was a good friend of a lot of my teacher friends who trusted her. All of the teachers I worked with brought their kids there and she only watched teachers’ kids. She also said she would stick to no more than 4 children. She ended up being wonderful with DS, but after a few months, she took on more than she could handle and had too many kids. While she was a nice person, we ended up pulling my son out because there’s no way he was getting the attention he needed. We used a nanny for the remainder of my school year. We moved and we have him at a home day care (licensed) now 3 days per week. I did a ton of research and I absolutely love the woman running it. My son is so happy there which makes me feel so much better. I recommend making sure you really like whoever you end up hiring. Also, make sure it’s licensed.
Reagrding home vs. centers, I prefer home in most situations. I worked at 2 different centers right after college and both were awful. One of them was highly rated and extremely expensive, but between the turnover, the unqualified and often unhappy workers, and the unprofessionalism, it’s just not somewhere I would send my child. I’m sure there are better places out there, but I chose what felt right and it was a home daycare.
2. What are you thinking your childcare needs are (one day per week, full time, PRN, etc) and how will you make plans (family, childcare center, in home daycare, etc)?
At work, Ill be dropping to part time either 3 or 4 days per week. My MIL will watch them 2x a week and I’ll be with them 1-2 days. The home daycare I use now will be used for whatever’s remaining.
3. Any other thoughts, questions or ideas on childcare?
Spend a lot of time researching. For me, going back to work was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I cried every day for a long time and even when it got easier, I felt so much guilt leaving him (and still do). It really helps to have a place where you know your baby is loved, happy, and being taking care of. Unfortunately, me staying home wasn’t financially possible before but I wish I had spent more time exploring other options. We are in a much better place now, so working part time is an option for me and it makes me feel so much better knowing that I will be with my baby and toddler more.
Think about what you truly want and try to make it work.
This is a personal problem, but I am not a very trusting person, and without a reference from someone I really trust, I am just not comfortable with a home daycare situation.
One thing I have learned is that you get what you pay for. It’s crazy expensive but I LOVE our daycare. They have educational coordinators and a real curriculum, but also lots of learning through play and art and music and plenty of free play time for the kids too. I like that it is set up like classrooms, and my daughter calls it “school” so I think it will make that transition really easy when the time comes. She gets so much educational and social enrichment there. Whenever I feel guilty about being a working mom I remind myself that I could never replicate all of that if I was at home with her. Not trying to brag, but my kid is wicked smart and I know a lot of that has to do with this place.
We will be moving to a much more rural area when this LO is about 6 months old and we may have to make some different choices, but we will also likely have more help since we are moving to be close to my MIL. I am not sure exactly what form that will take, but I would love it if we could do 3 days in daycare and 2 with her.
I suggest looking into options early to increase your chances of getting your first choice childcare. These people likely spend as much time with your kids as you do, so be sure you choose a place that you are 100% comfortable with.
Another thing is to think about the daycare commute. If you can optimize your work commute and daycare commute you get extra time with your kids. We moved to our current apartment because we knew this daycare was opening across the street. Not having that “extra” commute makes a huge difference for our family.
1. Question for STM+: what have been your strategies for childcare? What’s worked great and what have you learned about making arrangements?
We used a woman from my brothers church that was a teacher and wanted to stay home with her daughters. She was wonderful and she kept him the entire school year. She had (at the time) a 1 year old, preschooler, and 1st grader. So DS was in good hands and he loved her! She needed to go back to teaching this year and we found a woman through word of mouth recommendations that has done it out of her home for 25+ years. She has home cooked meals for all the kids and works with them on so many different things. Her max is 6. Both of these woman had/have him 3 days a week, 1 day he’s at home with his grandpa, and 1 day he’s with my mom.
2. What are you thinking your childcare needs are (one day per week, full time, PRN, etc) and how will you make plans (family, childcare center, in home daycare, etc)?
As long as we haven’t moved we hope to keep them the same when this LO comes. The tricky part will be if grandpa is up for watching 2 (he has a super strong bond with my older son). If we move we will be looking for childcare 5 days a week. It will also matter if the current sitter will have room to add on an infant to her current workload. I’m also very nervous that I may end up needing to go back to work before the start of summer break so much will ride on the outcome of this pregnancy. If that happens hopefully DH can take some time off and we can use family to “squeak” by until Aug. 3.
Any other thoughts, questions or ideas on childcare?
As as others have said ... Make sure you find someone you trust. It is very difficult but getting pictures of him smiling and happy make it all okay. Plus my son is very social! If I was a SAHM we would have to have so many activities every week for him to get that outlet. One question I do have is ... what is your plan for those of you only taking 6-8 weeks off and already have an older one? I mean do you continue to send them to their current childcare to hold their spot or do you plan to keep them home with you? Thanks for any advice on that!
Edited because it didn’t have spaces the first time!
I also found that just about every daycare center in our area did not offer part time care for infants (meaning you have to pay for 5 days a week of care). This seems to be in large part because for health reasons, each infant will get his/her own crib so they don't want to have a couple of part-timers swapping use of the same crib.
I'm not religious but a lot of churches run daycares that they can offer care at a cheaper price if they are non-profit. These also tend to have longer wait lists.
I want to find a center that will work around our schedules because we would really only need daycare for about 9 months out of the year. Paying for childcare really stresses me out!!
I’ve also toyed with the idea of staying home and starting my own in-home daycare. I worked in daycares/as a nanny for 12 years before I started teaching and I have a degree in Early Childhood Education, so it would be a feasible way for me to be able to stay home with my little guy.
@maggiemadeit made a great point about the commute. Something else to consider is driving with your baby. My son gets car sick so we were limited to looking at places close to our house. Even though my commute to work is only 20 minutes, last year was awful driving with him because he would throw up so often. I felt terrible making him sit in the car knowing he may get sick. It also made me late for work way too many times.
1. Question for STM+: what have been your strategies for childcare? What’s worked great and what have you learned about making arrangements? We went back and forth about child care options and wether or not I’d go back. Eventually we settled on me going back part-time (20 hrs a week, 2 days in the office and the rest from home) and a licensed In-home daycare. I really like the woman who runs it, she was a middle school music teacher, worked at a Montessori school for a while and then opened her own in-home when she and her husband started to foster. Also, In-home was really the few options we found that was part-time and offered some flexibility in what days DS came in. It has been a great option for us as DS is a little shy, being one of, at most, 5 kids has worked well. Plus it’s worked out so I have a ton of flexibility in what days I bring him in. There’s not all that much in the way of intentional learning going on, but we do a good bit of that at home.
2. What are you thinking your childcare needs are (one day per week, full time, PRN, etc) and how will you make plans (family, childcare center, in home daycare, etc)? I’m currently in the office 3 day a week, hoping to drop back down to 2 days a week after baby. LO will likely go to the same In-home DS has been going to. We’re planning to move DS to a more formal pre-school program next fall to help him get ready for kindergarten (although I want to stick to part-time!). We may look into a nanny (we did before DS was born), as it may be a more cost-effective option once we have two.
3. Any other thoughts, questions or ideas on childcare? As so many other ladies have said, make sure you feel comfortable with the people and program you’re picking. You have to trust them with your baby, and feeling good about where baby is /how they’re being cared for make going back to work so much easier.
We use a licensed daycare facility (Primrose). We have also used Goddard, but with every franchise some locations are better than others and the 2nd Goddard we tried once we moved kind of in a hurry was awwwwful. Some things to consider that I hadn't until I was at that stage - ask if they serve food once they're out of bottles. Some states are good service states and have to provide it, some have the option. It is so, so nice to go somewhere that I don't have to pack meals, snacks and a millions soppy cups. Go with your gut if something doesn't feel right when you visit. It took us awhile to find the perfect place, so start looking early because the good ones usually have waitlists.
2. What are you thinking your childcare needs are (one day per week, full time, PRN, etc) and how will you make plans (family, childcare center, in home daycare, etc)?
Our girls are in elementary school full-time with before and after care, and this baby will be in daycare full-time starting at about 10 weeks.
3. Any other thoughts, questions or ideas on childcare?
Get recommendations, visit early, and go with your gut!
1. Question for STM+: what have been your strategies for childcare?
Went back to work @ 4 months and looked at both licensed in home and centers. Could not justify spending the extra $$$ for the center. Was a 600/month diff. Jack was so little and essentially needed to be fed and changed. He stayed at the at home full time until 15 mths. At that point we started transitioning him to a center. He was full time at the center by 18 mths.
What’s worked great and what have you learned about making arrangements?
Only tough things about the at home was consistency. And they closed for just about every single holiday. Where the center is only closed thanksgiving, Christmas, and new years day. It made it tough when jack was at the at home because we don’t have very holiday off (Columbus Day, etc)
Center has been awesome. Great consistency, just with the daily schedule in general: they post all of our sons info for the day in an app so we can see. Before he was potty trained, what time they would change his diaper, poop/pee: and then when he was training, all of his trips to the potty: logged his food and his nap time as well as photos throughout the day. Amazing reassurance for a working mommy!!
He learns so much there. It’s pretty awesome!
2. What are you thinking your childcare needs are (one day per week, full time, PRN, etc) and how will you make plans (family, childcare center, in home daycare, etc)?
Full time. We’ll do the same with this baby as with Jack.
3. Any other thoughts, questions or ideas on childcare? I could probably elaborate more but then there would be a novel!!! Just ask if you have any questions. Jack will be 3.25ish when baby comes. He’s currently in preschool.
Good luck!!!!
Luckily my family has been super helpful in the past with childcare, when my son was first born, i worked 145-10pm and had a cousin watch my son until he was closer to 2, along with my mother (she picked him up at 430 when she got off from work and watched him until i got off at 10pm) , and then he ended up going to an at home daycare with one of my closest friends children and she kept him until he was school aged, and once he was in school there was aftercare that would get him. This year he is old enough for latchkey so thats what we are doing now. I wish i could look forward to taking this LO to her but she started having health issues right after he left so that was unfortunate for me. I think my mom is going to watch the baby when it comes, because she retired last year and the search for an actual daycare (more like family member) isn't going so well. I am extremely particular and she knows this, so i think shes just going to watch the baby until it is old enough to go to daycare. i think our rule of thumb is that we dont want the baby or child in real daycare until it is old enough to tell us if something is wrong.
2. What are you thinking your childcare needs are (one day per week, full time, PRN, etc) and how will you make plans (family, childcare center, in home daycare, etc)?
I'm going to need M-F daycare period. not looking forward to it, at least cost wise, but i have been lucky in the past to catch breaks in finding very affordable care for my child. Hopefully i can keep that same energy bc one of my friends has been very outspoken about paying $200 a week for daycare and there is NO way i can afford that. even with a SO this time around. If it turns out that my mom will be watching the baby, i will be making sure to give her money every week for helping me out.
3. Any other thoughts, questions or ideas on childcare?
My mom: "So, when you go back to work, I'm watching the baby, right?"
Me: "Well, I wasn't going to assume you wanted to, but, if you do, absolutely, I'd love that!"
This conversation also happened in February and I wasn't due until July. Since then, my dad has "retired" and both of my parents work at leisure. They are both self-employed, and I am able to work from home if necessary (vacations, etc). They are excited about little boy on the way, and have talked about changes they need to make with two babies in the house. I would like Ada in some sort of half - day program to get her ready for school, but she's not taking to potty training at all, but that's another issue entirely, haha.
Thanks for starting this thread/topic!
2. What are you thinking your childcare needs are (one day per week, full time, PRN, etc) and how will you make plans (family, childcare center, in home daycare, etc)?
I will need full time childcare when I return to work. We have been looking at childcare centers and more or less settled on one with a high quality score. The childcare centers in my area have waitlists of 6 months- 12 months. And yes they are more than our housing costs.
This past weekend a friend of ours who is a stay at home mom whose youngest just started school has volunteered to watch our baby at about half the price. It’s a tempting offer and now I’m googling what expectations need to be set out the gate to see if she can agree to some things that are important. Like sleep safety and notification if she begins watching more children. It’s a lot of work but with the waitlists we need to figure it out soon. We’re hoping that for PRN childcare our siblings or parents can help.
3. Any other thoughts, questions or ideas on childcare?
If you have had a friend watch your baby who isn’t a licensed provider, did you make a written agreement or verbal?
If it were me I’d cover:
-pay and taxes
-days off/notice for vacation, sick, termination
-hours worked
-where to work out of, who provides what equipment and food/supplies, Any insurance issues if she works from your house.
-any certifications or training you expect/ want current, like CPR or First aid and who will pay for them.
1. Question for STM+: what have been your strategies for childcare? What’s worked great and what have you learned about making arrangements? We initially had a nanny, but it didn't go the best. We decided to both cut back working to 0.8, so we really didn't need help anymore, just occasional and have someone for that, she's great. We don't have much time off together at all, but we think its worth it while kids are young.
2. What are you thinking your childcare needs are (one day per week, full time, PRN, etc) and how will you make plans (family, childcare center, in home daycare, etc)? I think we'll still try our best to take care of the LO's ourselves. We'll probably get an extra as needed babysitter. My work also has 10-15 days of backup care so we could get a nanny last minute for work for $6/hr or something like that. I also go to a gym with free daycare, which totally helps me maintain some sanity and get a workout/ shower in some days.
3. Any other thoughts, questions or ideas on childcare? We really thought we'd use a nanny and work full time to pay off loans ASAP and whatnot. I never imagined cutting back to stay home more. But I was so stressed with counting on someone else for childcare, and daycare isn't really an option when you work nights and evenings.
2. What are you thinking your childcare needs are (one day per week, full time, PRN, etc) and how will you make plans (family, childcare center, in home daycare, etc)? Full-time but we are both teachers. We chose an in-home because they won't charge for the days we don't use (holidays, snow days, sick days etc)
3. Any other thoughts, questions or ideas on childcare? Trust your gut.