@meggyme this. And I go further to not like maternity photos that are overly staged. No offense to Beyoncé, but I found that photo of hers that everyone loved so much to look a bit ridiculous. I mean, she's absolutely gorgeous, but the veil and absurdly large floral arrangement behind her just detract so much from that photo for me.
ETA: love the gif! That's got to be one of my favorite Friends quotes!
@mayoduck yeah, I never really understood maternity photos where they're half naked in a field somewhere. Last pregnancy the only real "maternity" photos I took were of me, 8 months pregnant, waiting in an airport for my husband to get off a plane from deployment.
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
I've been wanting to bring this up for awhile but have hesitated. Let's find out how unpopular this opinion really is:
I believe NFP is a really great thing for marriages. It fosters communication between spouses and keeps everyone on the same page. Both partners learn so much about how the woman's unique endocrine system works and though sometimes it can be very challenging, I think it really brings 2 people closer together if they lean on each other for support. It also works. DH and I have been married for 11 years and all 4 of our pregnancies have been planned. There are lifestyle/health changes you can employ when one's cycle isn't very regular (this helped me when we first got started and my cycles tended to be all over the place). I gotta tell you, thanks to my charting, I know right away when something is off with my health.
It strikes me as a bit of a double standard that green/natural/organic/med-free is so popular right now, yet introducing artificial hormones into your body to turn your fertility off like a switch (basically telling your body to go into a pre-menopausal state) isn't thought of as a detriment to health or the environment. With NFP, you just use the charting method that many people use now to get pregnant, in reverse to avoid a pregnancy.
Also, after having lurked around the bump for awhile, it seems to be the overwhelming trend that artificial hormone birth control tends to rob women of their sex drives. (I have found this to be the case for me when I was on it for a short time in college.)
There you have it, I'll go back into Minority Corner now!
@Lbloom I'm interested in using charting/temping as birth control but I doubt I can get my husband onboard with it. It's also not very reliable while breastfeeding, is it? I also wouldn't want to have to temp every morning and fret over charts for the rest of my life.
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
@Lbloom i agree with you. my aim was to start NFP this year....but i didn't do it right or get enough research in and here i am. LOL! but honestly I agree. it fosters much more communication and having to be open. I really didn't like the way BC affected my body and hopefully i can do more research now, so once i have my LO i can start a more natural approach to my health.
We don't use NFP per se as NFP doesn't allow for contraception (according to Catholic Church teaching, of which I am). I guess what we technically use is Fertility Awareness Method (Taking Charge of Your Fertility is something I've seen around here quite a bit). If I'm ovulating and we wanna have sex, we'll use a condom with a brief, we can still get pregnant chat, haha. Charting has been the key to us getting pregnant, and I've discovered some health concerns with it as well.
@meggyme - DH's do tend to be hesitant, but sometimes they can really get on board when they find it is a healthier option for you. I am not gonna kid you, the return to regular menstrual cycles after breastfeeding amenorrhea can be drawn out and tricky as your body's hormones figure things out. That is usually the longest stint of abstinence we have to go through. The org that taught me has a special postpartum class/book just for this time. It is very individual to each woman/baby pairing and how you breastfeed. Being a SAHM, I practice extended, on-demand BFing, so I have really long amenorrheas (my cycle didn't come back until age 2 w/ DD2 and a little over 1.5 for DD3- after my loss with DD1 and I wasn't nursing - it came back in 2-3 weeks).
On the thermometer, I find that a bit of a pain, too. So I gave the job to my DH, now he hands it to me and I take my temp before getting up in the morning. Only takes a minute. But the more kids I have, the more disciplined I have to be to get my chart filled out every day. For me, it's worth it, so I make it a priority. It's not for the rest of my life, only until I hit menopause!
@zionsmama85 - You can try again anytime! Getting really good information or even taking a class on it is very helpful.
I love newborn photo shoots but don’t like the crazy maternity ones either.
My UO is that I really really don’t like cutesy maternity t shirts with stuff on the bump (Halloween excluded) or that say “due in whatever”
Me: 30 DH: 31 Married: 2012 BFP #1 Sept 2014, MMC Dec 2014 | BFP #2 May 2015, DD Jan 2016 | BFP #3 May 2017, MC July 2017 | BFP #4 Jan 2018, MC Feb 2018 | BFP #5 July 2018, fingers crossed
@meggyme Yes!!!! On the staged newborn baby photos!
@mayoduck Yes!!!! On the overly staged maternity photos. The ones that especially get me are half-naked in a river/pond w/DH in jeans. Whaaaat?!?!
@Lbloom Yesss!!!! to the normalcy of hormone suppression/artificial BC being a bizarre double-standard. BC was originally created for men but the test subjects didn’t like the way it made them feel. Huh, go figure...
I was one who, in my twenties, tried all types of BC but each kind led to insane heart palpitations, extreme adult-onset acne, mood swings, & weight gain—all symptoms I never had any of before in my life. My doctor & I agreed I wasn’t a good candidate for artificial BC. Why risk heart attack & those other side effects? Obviously not good for my body, personally. And don’t get me started on the BC where you don’t even get a period for months on end, on purpose....
*PS: I’m very excited that other people share these UOs. I thought I was alone & bitchy in this opinion of the staged photos.
So I've never been on BC; DH and I always used condoms up until we starting trying to have a baby (where we started using NFP to increase the odds of success). I just never liked the idea of intentionally upsetting my body's natural chemistry and blocking my cycles or any of the side effects that tend to come with taking BC. I could definitely see us using NFP as a cobtraceptive method moving forward and I imagine DH would be up for it if the alternative is using condoms again.
@Lbloom I was really hoping they'd make one of the features of the Ava bracelet some sort of cycle tracking with birth control in mind. I totally would have bought one while TTC if that was the case. But unfortunately (probably because they're afraid of being sued if someone gets pregnant) they don't encourage it for that use.
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
@Lbloom I am in 100% agreement. We have been using NFP/FAM for the last 5 years and my two pregnancies were planned. I was even able to use it while breastfeeding, and I could tell when that first ovulation/period were coming 10 months postpartum. Birth control and I do not get along, and we have discussed a more permanent solution for when we are done having kids, but for now it’s working great for us.
I will say that I can see how it is easier for me because I have very regular cycles/patterns. I understand that it is much harder to use effectively with long/unpredictable cycles, or things like PCOS.
I don’t believe in oops pregnancies. No form of birth control is 100% besides abstinence, so saying you got pregnant by accident is laughable to me (not even talking about sexual assault or rape, speaking purely about consensual sex).
We have two sleeping beauties in heaven. Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016. Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015. They will be forever missed.
@bdesterhouse THIS! My sister claims her kid was an "accident" but then she let slip that she purposely went off her bc six months prior. "We weren't trying, but we weren't NOT trying," she always says. Girl, if you're not not trying, YOU'RE TRYING.
My UO is that I can't stand Jennifer Lawrence. She's not even out promoting or doing anything right now, but I saw her face on a website this morning and shuddered.
@bdesterhouse - I'm in agreement with you that the only 100% form of BC is abstinence. Even vasectomies aren't 100%
On the newborn photos - I get that sleeping newborns look so sweet but *TW stillbirth mentioned* the only photos I'll ever have of DD1, she looks like a sleeping angel. DD2 and 3 had their eyes open and were awake for their newborn photos, and I personally, prefer them that way.
My UO: cereal is not a healthy breakfast... DH has cereal for breakfast every morning and now DS only wants cereal instead of the variety of healthier options I try and foist upon him. Drives me nuts.
@lelkcot I started making breakfast cookies for DD to have for breakfast. I keep them in the freezer and then pop them in the toaster oven for a couple minutes to reheat. They're basically barely sweetened oatmeal bars with some kind of fruit in them. I figure they're healthier than the bowl of dry cheerios I was giving her.
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
@meggyme I might try that - I have lots of pancakes, waffles and muffins frozen that he seems to have decided are no longer acceptable breakfasts. I think it has more to do with being like daddy, considering he usually doesn’t even finish his Cheerios. [wishing for an eye roll emoji]
I love this thread. I agree with everything! @Lbloom - I learned all about my cycles when I was first TTC and not getting my cycles at all. I was on birth control in my early twenties - thought nothing of it at the time, but now the idea of pumping myself with hormones is horrifying. But when I met my husband, our whole relationship was long distance until we moved in together a year after we'd been married, so condoms were good enough until then, when we were ready for a baby immediately. I was naive enough at the time to think that I could be ovulating and get pregnant without getting my period, but eventually read Taking Charge of Your Fertility and saw enough docs to convince me that I had to stop exercising and eat less "clean" to get my hypothalamus working again. Anyway, that was almost three years ago, and by now I am so familiar how cycles work and what can impact them etc. that I could teach a course. I'm super passionate about it even if that's not your primary means of preventing pregnancy. How could you not want to know these details about how your body works?? Getting a period used to be such a mystery to me, and honestly I thought not having one was really great, but I'm so glad I know better now. It blows my mind that this knowledge is out there but so many people (including myself for most of my life) are oblivious to it.
And, @meggyme and @mayoduck, agree with both newborn and maternity photoshoots! I'm not really into obviously staged photos anyway, much more of a naturalist. You don't need a baby in a pumpkin to be cute or to be half naked in red lace to look beautiful pregnant.
I agree, I really don't like overly staged photos. I much prefer lifestyle or photojournalistic photography.
And I agree, @lbloom, with your last two paragraphs. I will never use hormonal birth control (diaphragm user here. Used it for six years, zero unplanned and two planned pregnancies). Personally, I would never use NFP either just because I think it's too easy to mess up, but I think women and doctors are way to willing to take/prescribe hormonal BC as the solution to whatever ails them. Acne? Take BC. Bad cramps? Take BC. Heavy bleeding? Take BC.
Sometimes, hormonal BC can be an effective medication, but I think more women should pursue other options before that. A friend of mine had very bad cramping and terrible cycles. So she went to a functional medicine doctor, had various blood levels checked, and ended up being prescribed progesterone. Her body was low on that, and once she was taking additional progesterone to get her up to normal levels, her cycles became regular and mostly pain free.
Well, I guess my UO is that I absolutely loved Mirena as BC and will it put back in after LO is born. Also, my best friend is a newborn photographer and I think her work is beautiful...props, wraps, hats, headbands and all.
I love my staged maternity photos. I got normal and then more staged ones, and the only ones you can tell I'm pregnant in are the ones I just have a crop top and bikini bottoms on. I had a tiny bump and as soon as I put clothes on, I didn't look pregnant.
My UO is after this pregnancy is done, I'm done with birth control. DH can wear condoms or get the snip. I've made 2 children, had 1 cut out of me and however this one gets out so I'm done with hormones. He has to take charge or he's cut off.
My UO must be that I think all types of birth control have risks and benefits. And each one, even hormonal BC, is an ok choice. The risks are well established and I think its each person's job to become well informed. Beyond that, I would feel comfortable with my family or kids using any method they choose. I think the IUD in younger people has a lot of benefits.
I also think staged pictures are a bit awkward looking, but I try to just appreciate them as "art." People's creativity can be interesting.
I have another UO - I love over the top head bands and girly outfits for girls. Including the bows that are twice the size of the babes head. I think they’re adorable. I will only own a few if this babe stays a girl (confirmation she still does not have boy parts Monday morning during my 20 week scan) and that’s only because my husband thinks their stupid so I’ll respect his wishes to keep them to a minimum.
We have two sleeping beauties in heaven. Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016. Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015. They will be forever missed.
Yes! I love the giant bows so much. Sadly my DD would not tolerate anything in her hair until like 6 months ago, even though we introduced them early so she would get used to them. Hopefully you have better luck!!
Me: 30 DH: 31 Married: 2012 BFP #1 Sept 2014, MMC Dec 2014 | BFP #2 May 2015, DD Jan 2016 | BFP #3 May 2017, MC July 2017 | BFP #4 Jan 2018, MC Feb 2018 | BFP #5 July 2018, fingers crossed
Re: UO 10/18
ETA: love the gif! That's got to be one of my favorite Friends quotes!
I believe NFP is a really great thing for marriages. It fosters communication between spouses and keeps everyone on the same page. Both partners learn so much about how the woman's unique endocrine system works and though sometimes it can be very challenging, I think it really brings 2 people closer together if they lean on each other for support. It also works. DH and I have been married for 11 years and all 4 of our pregnancies have been planned. There are lifestyle/health changes you can employ when one's cycle isn't very regular (this helped me when we first got started and my cycles tended to be all over the place). I gotta tell you, thanks to my charting, I know right away when something is off with my health.
It strikes me as a bit of a double standard that green/natural/organic/med-free is so popular right now, yet introducing artificial hormones into your body to turn your fertility off like a switch (basically telling your body to go into a pre-menopausal state) isn't thought of as a detriment to health or the environment. With NFP, you just use the charting method that many people use now to get pregnant, in reverse to avoid a pregnancy.
Also, after having lurked around the bump for awhile, it seems to be the overwhelming trend that artificial hormone birth control tends to rob women of their sex drives. (I have found this to be the case for me when I was on it for a short time in college.)
There you have it, I'll go back into Minority Corner now!
On the thermometer, I find that a bit of a pain, too. So I gave the job to my DH, now he hands it to me and I take my temp before getting up in the morning. Only takes a minute. But the more kids I have, the more disciplined I have to be to get my chart filled out every day. For me, it's worth it, so I make it a priority. It's not for the rest of my life, only until I hit menopause!
@zionsmama85 - You can try again anytime! Getting really good information or even taking a class on it is very helpful.
My UO is that I really really don’t like cutesy maternity t shirts with stuff on the bump (Halloween excluded) or that say “due in whatever”
Married: 2012
BFP #1 Sept 2014, MMC Dec 2014 | BFP #2 May 2015, DD Jan 2016
@mayoduck Yes!!!! On the overly staged maternity photos. The ones that especially get me are half-naked in a river/pond w/DH in jeans. Whaaaat?!?!
@Lbloom Yesss!!!! to the normalcy of hormone suppression/artificial BC being a bizarre double-standard. BC was originally created for men but the test subjects didn’t like the way it made them feel. Huh, go figure...
I was one who, in my twenties, tried all types of BC but each kind led to insane heart palpitations, extreme adult-onset acne, mood swings, & weight gain—all symptoms I never had any of before in my life. My doctor & I agreed I wasn’t a good candidate for artificial BC. Why risk heart attack & those other side effects? Obviously not good for my body, personally. And don’t get me started on the BC where you don’t even get a period for months on end, on purpose....
*PS: I’m very excited that other people share these UOs. I thought I was alone & bitchy in this opinion of the staged photos.
I will say that I can see how it is easier for me because I have very regular cycles/patterns. I understand that it is much harder to use effectively with long/unpredictable cycles, or things like PCOS.
Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016.
Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015.
They will be forever missed.
My UO is that I can't stand Jennifer Lawrence. She's not even out promoting or doing anything right now, but I saw her face on a website this morning and shuddered.
On the newborn photos - I get that sleeping newborns look so sweet but
*TW stillbirth mentioned* the only photos I'll ever have of DD1, she looks like a sleeping angel. DD2 and 3 had their eyes open and were awake for their newborn photos, and I personally, prefer them that way.
Your perspective makes so much sense.
My UO: cereal is not a healthy breakfast... DH has cereal for breakfast every morning and now DS only wants cereal instead of the variety of healthier options I try and foist upon him. Drives me nuts.
And, @meggyme and @mayoduck, agree with both newborn and maternity photoshoots! I'm not really into obviously staged photos anyway, much more of a naturalist. You don't need a baby in a pumpkin to be cute or to be half naked in red lace to look beautiful pregnant.
And I agree, @lbloom, with your last two paragraphs. I will never use hormonal birth control (diaphragm user here. Used it for six years, zero unplanned and two planned pregnancies). Personally, I would never use NFP either just because I think it's too easy to mess up, but I think women and doctors are way to willing to take/prescribe hormonal BC as the solution to whatever ails them. Acne? Take BC. Bad cramps? Take BC. Heavy bleeding? Take BC.
Sometimes, hormonal BC can be an effective medication, but I think more women should pursue other options before that. A friend of mine had very bad cramping and terrible cycles. So she went to a functional medicine doctor, had various blood levels checked, and ended up being prescribed progesterone. Her body was low on that, and once she was taking additional progesterone to get her up to normal levels, her cycles became regular and mostly pain free.
My UO is after this pregnancy is done, I'm done with birth control. DH can wear condoms or get the snip. I've made 2 children, had 1 cut out of me and however this one gets out so I'm done with hormones. He has to take charge or he's cut off.
Little boy due July 31st 2016
I also think staged pictures are a bit awkward looking, but I try to just appreciate them as "art." People's creativity can be interesting.
Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016.
Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015.
They will be forever missed.
Married: 2012
BFP #1 Sept 2014, MMC Dec 2014 | BFP #2 May 2015, DD Jan 2016