What family member is driving you crazy?

journey721

Stolen from april bmb
Tell us what family member is currently driving you crazy. MIL, Mom, FIL, Sister?! Tell us what they did!

Let us all commiserate on having to deal with crazy family and know youre not alone

expandcontract

My own mother.  I told her at 5 weeks that I'm pregnant because she comes over every weekend anyways and would figure it out.  She wasn't supposed to tell anyone.  She freaking told all my sisters (I wanted to tell them in person!) and a couple of my aunts.  This is just who I know about! She probably told the rest of the world,  too. 
And now she keeps bugging me to tell her the sex of the baby.  
Even when we do find out, I'm not telling her!  She seriously can't keep a secret.  And besides,  there's no good reason for her to have to know the sex. You will love my child regardless of whether it's a girl or boy,  MOTHER!! And stop telling me how I should have a boy! Gahhhh!!!!

psychobutthead

My mil. 

Randomly on Monday she asked me to ride to walmart with her and help her pick out a bigger carseat for my son (and other grandkids) to use at her house. 

I went.  Randomly she tells me her husband has told her their christmas budget is $100 per child.  She then goes "so don't expect much".

Um What? I tell her every year she over buys everyones kids.  I never ask her to buy my kids anything or ask or expect her to buy them lavish gifts or big items.  So where that little attitude came from I don't know but my kids don't need a damn thing from her for Christmas. 

mrsdee15

@expandcontract I am so sorry you're dealing with that with your mom.  My mom is similar, she tells everyone my business (including when we had trouble TTC DD and did IVF... she told everyone that) - so she didn't find out about this pregnancy until really recently.  We don't plan to tell her the baby's name until after birth because she put up such a fit with DD's.  It's completely fair to not to tell your mom the sex - she's not entitled to the information, especially after how she's acted.  Play gossip games, get gossip prizes.  

@psychobutthead Wow, that is so uncalled for by your MIL.  What would even possess someone to say something like that?

I hate to say it, but I think the person driving me most crazy (aside from an already-strained relationship with my mom, but that's another story for another day) is DH right now.  I love him so much, I really do.  But oh my goodness, he keeps "letting little things slip" to friends that I'm pregnant, and I'm not comfortable sharing yet.  At this rate we won't have anyone to announce to when we get past the first trimester.  He's aware that I'm not comfortable, I've said it many times.  I know he's excited, but like... just CHILL, dude. 

It's probably a minor thing I should just let go, but it's really frustrating me.

jwalters2019

My MIL I’m high risk I have been to the ER and she has never asked me anything about the baby or me. I have completely cut out all communication with her. We have never really been close on our wedding day she kept rolling her eyes during the ceremony and after that she texted my husband saying she wasn’t going to go to the reception. She still hasn’t gotten over my husbands divorce. It’s frustrating! Thank god I live over an hour away from her.

psychobutthead

@jwalters2019 wow thats so shitty. I'm so sorry. It would be nice if she at least asked if you are ok.

jwalters2019

@psychobutthead my SIL told her that she acts like this isn’t her grand baby too. It hurts me but I won’t beg anyone to love or be part of my baby’s life. 

psychobutthead

@jwalters2019 I have the same problem. My son is 3.5 years old and neither of my husbands siblings have ever had something to do with him. My sil came to the hospital the day he was born and that its. Never came around after that. My son doesn't even know who they are.

jwalters2019

@psychobutthead that’s so sad. As long as he has your love and your husbands that’s all he needs. ♥️

psychobutthead

jwalters2019 said:

@psychobutthead that’s so sad. As long as he has your love and your husbands that’s all he needs. ♥️

Yep as far as I'm concerned his sister isn't welcome this time. You can't be an aunt just 1 day of their entire life.

eatinwatermelonseeds

My husband. I feel so bad. I know it's me. It's my mood swings and hormones and I get that but I seriously can't control it. I'm nit picking so much. He probably hates me right now. But I feel like he never said the right thing and frequently says the wrong thing and if he'd just do and say whatever I need and want when I need or want it, we'd have zero issues 😂 poor guy. 

wishiwaspreggo

I’m annoyed with anyone who is giving me unsolicited instructions or attempting to impose limits on me. I will eat what I want, do what I want, go where I want, and drink what I want. When my doctor specifically tells me when I should monitor my sugar, I’ll cool it with the sweet treats. When my doctor says to stay off my feet, I will abide. Until then - leave me alone!!!!!!!!!!

nonlinear_function

Ultimate Petty Alert: DH has an ingrown hair/zit in his beard that he has been picking at for days, so I might have to murder him. Last night he was sitting next to me on the couch, just picking and picking and picking! It wasn't even on the side I was sitting on, but out of my peripheral vision I could see his mouth open and his hand up picking away! I was trying to think of what pregnancy symptom I could blame to ask him to stop, haha. I wasn't going to say anything about it, but he just walked past, STILL PICKING. I can't decide if this is grounds for murder or divorce. 

mrskoz428

Right now, anyone that tells anyone about my pregnancy is on my shit list. Both my MIL and Step Sister have told people because we told DH’s grandparents or our nieces. Like, fuck people, this is our need to share, not yours! Also, not family, my students are driving me insane! They don’t know I’m oregnant yet, but they just won’t shut up and I have zero patience right now and it totally came out today! I feel bad because I know it’s totally my fault, but 🤬

expandcontract

@mrsdee15 i know your husband is probably just really excited but he shouldn't be telling so many people when you're not ready,  yet.  I think you'll need to sit him down and REALLY explain to him why he shouldn't be doing this.  

troystory17

my mother.. always my mother today specifically because she texted me to ask if she can take my son over her sisters house tonight, but not my daughter.  That's a no.

MaggieG183

My husband. He’s on another hunting trip (he works in the outdoor industry so his success in the woods is important to his sales). He said yesterday that he’d be home today, but just a few minutes ago he said he’d be home tomorrow now. I’m just so over doing everything on my own. 

What am I saying? Even if he was here I’d still have to do everything on my own, but his stuff would just be added to the pile. Ugh. I guess I can’t have it both ways.

sleepy33

MaggieG183 said:

My husband. He’s on another hunting trip (he works in the outdoor industry so his success in the woods is important to his sales). He said yesterday that he’d be home today, but just a few minutes ago he said he’d be home tomorrow now. I’m just so over doing everything on my own. 

What am I saying? Even if he was here I’d still have to do everything on my own, but his stuff would just be added to the pile. Ugh. I guess I can’t have it both ways.

Orrrrrr he lends a hand in the household that is 50% his? You deserve support, mama

bumbly_b

People telling me I HAVE to have another baby....while I haven't even given birth to my first that took us you know only 7 years and a lot of heartache to make. 

eatinwatermelonseeds

@bumbly_b my mom said stuff like that to me when I was pregnant. I get it because I'm an only child and she just didn't want that for me, but it's not her decision regardless. She was urging me while my son was sick, while we were struggling in our marriage, while I was in nursing school. And it was just like hey lady, are you going to pay for 2 kids in daycare? Are you going to take us in when me and my husband divorce because we don't have our shit together yet? Are you going to finish nursing school for me? Ugh. So annoying. That said, she was freaking thrilled when I told her I was pregnant. 😂

bumbly_b

@eatinwatermelonseeds oh wow. That's a lot. 

I'm not saying absolutely not to another but I want to just enjoy the chance we have now. And 1 is totally fine with me. If i happen to get pregnant again I'll be happy but I'm not going to put myself or my husband back through the ringer. 

eatinwatermelonseeds

@bumbly_b I totally get that. We basically said the same thing. We had decided not to move forward with IVF and that our son would just be an only child. A couple weeks later I got a positive test. We would've stuck with that if it hadn't happened naturally, though. Which we genuinely didn't expect it to. 

MaggieG183

@sleepy33 ah, that would be so nice and wonderful, but I’m not going to get my hopes up on that one just yet. He does do quite a bit around the house when he’s home, but it’s not the stuff that changes my life all that much. Like, he changes out the light bulbs in the house when they die or takes care of the chickens in the coop when he’s back home, but it’s certainly not a nice 50/50 split.

Don’t you worry though, I’m not a push over with it all and I certainly don’t let him just waltz around without a clue that he’s made waaaay more work for me.  It’s a process and I’m planting seeds for change at the moment. He will come up with this grand epiphany one of these days that I’m doing way more than my fair share. Similar epiphanies have happened in the past...it’s just the way he works. In the meantime, “planting seeds” sucks.

melbee81

My dog is bugging the hell out of me 😂. He's the sweetest, easiest dog anyone could ever wish for but since I've gotten pregnant he is just extra clingy and it's driving me nuts! He won't leave me alone! He insists, INSISTS, on being next to me as much as possible, regardless of how much extra room is on the couch or if there's no room for him in the first place. I kick him off the bed at least five times a night and he comes back with out fail to try again. I can't lock him out of the room or he'll just whine until I relent. I'm ready to murder him! 

More seriously my partner is annoying me. He works late and always asks what's for dinner when he gets home and gets annoyed that there isn't much. He just doesn't seem to understand how horrible I've felt the past 12 weeks. I've barely been able to eat let alone cook. I've finally just started feeling myself and cooking some again and most of what I cook involves carbs. He's on this stupid keto diet. I'm not gonna cook him something different cause he's insane and doesn't eat carbs. I don't have that kind of energy or motivation.  

missmcgonnagal

melbee81 said:

More seriously my partner is annoying me. He works late and always asks what's for dinner when he gets home and gets annoyed that there isn't much. He just doesn't seem to understand how horrible I've felt the past 12 weeks. I've barely been able to eat let alone cook. I've finally just started feeling myself and cooking some again and most of what I cook involves carbs. He's on this stupid keto diet. I'm not gonna cook him something different cause he's insane and doesn't eat carbs. I don't have that kind of energy or motivation.  

I was going to come here and comment that my husband hasn't been picking up the cleaning slack in the way that I'd hoped he would (I hate hate HATE a messy house but I'm too tired to do much about it these days) but he cooks for me every night and tries his damnest to appeal to whatever pregnancy whims I'm having that day. Suddenly I'm feeling pretty grateful for all of that.

melbee81

@missmcgonnagal, it's all relative so you can definitely complain about things being messy! I will say my partner is like you and hates messes and clutter so is way more likely to pick up around the house than cook. That being said we're planning on hiring someone to clean once a month. With his schedule and me being pregnant it's just easier and we're lucky to be able to afford it. 

eatinwatermelonseeds

My husband doesn't do anything except take out the trash. I cook, clean, take care of the kid. But he only says something about the house if it's been a while and it's BAD. Or he is all out of clean clothes (I'm really bad at being a sahm, btw 😂). He doesn't cook, but if I don't feel like cooking he'll order out. It's fucking annoying, but at least he doesn't bitch at me. Really really wish he'd cook, but whatever. Sometimes he grills which is helpful. 

I should add though, this is a temporary arrangement. He currently is gone working, in class, or studying 12+ hours a day, 7 days a week. He gets 2 hours a night at home and realistically housework is the last thing on his mind. He spends it with us instead. 

BUT I didn't just write here to share that, he just let his alarm go off for the last hour and a half 🙄 I don't know how he does it. I told him I'm done waking him up. He got all offended and I was like "get an alarm that wakes you up!" "I do! It just doesn't wake me up!" 🤨

missmcgonnagal

@melbee81 The more I read here the more I realize I don't have room to complain though. Cleaning is my job; hubs works full time so I can stay home and go to school. Despite all this he does all the cooking even when I am well, and yesterday we made reservations for a babymoon in the Bahamas at his insistence and on his dime.

Right now he is home from work because he has the car in the shop because it was making a weird noise and while it was fine to drive, he is afraid for me to drive it by myself all week next week. So while he is home today he is painting the nursery.

Honestly after reading what a lot of what you ladies are going through I owe my husband a big kiss and thank you, not a complaint. Good on you ladies for feeling like shit and still picking up husbands' slack.

truth_trust

My husband gets on my nerves must days because he has been calling me lazy. Like he really doesn't understand how fucking tired I have been. I literally want to cry when I get up to take OUR 4 year old to school and pick her up. I be so tired, that I don't be wanting to walk to the kitchen. Then I ask him can he pick her up or drop her off or make me something to eat, he does it after a lot of bitching about how I wasn't like that the last pregnancy. Like stfu your not pregnant, I am. AND to be quite frank, I hate being pregnant, so leave me alone.

NEXT

His rude ass mother. I haven't spoken to his mother since I told her I was pregnant. Me and her use to be real tight, so I thought. Until I told her ass I was pregnant and that I was going to surprise her son. I was 5 weeks. OMG she flipped on me so bad. She was like why would yall go and have another baby. He work all the time, and don't even have time for the one that yall have. Then she goes to say well I'm not going do anything for that baby. I started laughing and said "You don't do anything for my 4 year old. Just because you watched her during the summer, dont get a head of yourself. And don't forget we paid you." I had to end the conversation with. "Since you want to be negative, when I have been nothing but nice and help you. I treated you almost better than my own mother and you say rude stuff about us having a baby. You don't have to worry about me or the baby." Of course he spoke to her and she claim she wants to be at the baby shower, and see the baby. But that I'm disrespectful. Well like I told him. "Your mother thinks she can say whatever she wants because she is your mother. I have kissed that lady ass for years. But to not be happy about a new baby. She could have kept that shit to herself." 9 weeks later, we still not speaking!

eatinwatermelonseeds

My husband is being a giant dick to me today for no reason at all. 😡

bumbly_b

My mil is making me crazy. Everytime we talk about the baby she makes these crazy comments about how it looks just like her and if we have seen her (baby's) twin brother on the ultrasound yet.  I'm only having 1! And we dont know boy/girl yet. 

Not really significant but I'm seeing her tomorrow and again for Thanksgiving so it's on my mind. 

expandcontract

Husbands/BF who get their lady pregnant but then don't do anything to help out really make my blood boil.  My husband was like that in the beginning when I was pregnant with DD. We had a LOT of fights.  But for him,  it was mainly cultural because in Pakistan, the men are not involved AT ALL. When their wives are giving birth,  they are at home relaxing. My husband thought he was going to get a free pass,  too, like all his male relatives back home. Na uh.
I made him stay with me through the entire delivery and believe me,  actually seeing our daughter be born really changed him for the better. 
He is SO much more appreciative of everything I do.  And for this pregnancy,  thank god! This pregnancy is definitely a lot harder on me and he has totally stepped up his game to the point that I feel bad he has to do so much of the work.  
Im very grateful he's an open minded and understanding man. But i do give myself a lot of credit,  too, for being strong and making him understand.  I know so many women (ahem my sister) who don't even try and then complain the rest of their lives how their husband doesn't help out at all. 

knarlytaurus

@expandcontract it does take two to make those changes, but nothing would have changed if you didn't ask it from him! You'll likely have a much strongerstronger experience, too, when you have a good give and take like this  

expandcontract

@knarlytaurus you're absolutely right,  it takes both sides to make it work. 

kvh22

@expandcontract that's great! I still give DH crap and have to mention that things are NOT split 50/50. There was an article I read that said if you think it's 50/50, you're probably doing 20-40% of the household work, max. When I look at his parents, it's amazing he was as good as he was without much intervention on my part. Somehow, him and his brother turned out great and have no interest in the "woman waiting on the man" relationship that their parents have. SIL and I both work and MIL never did (FIL was military but has been retired and at the same location for just about 30 years now). I give him credit for how far he's come without actually cutting him slack, if that makes sense.

hargis87

Does work family count because my coworker that keeps coming to work sick is reeeaaaallllly pissing me off. No one needs to get sick from him, especially the pregnant lady!

cwell2016

My mother-in-law is driving me insane. We told her and my parents when I was about 6 weeks because it's our first and my parents' first grandchild. We asked them not to tell anyone else. We officially announced at a pre-Thanksgiving get-together on Sunday and my MIL comes up and says, "Oh good, I can stop telling strangers and start telling real people".  I asked her why she was telling anyone when we asked her not to and she said she knew I only meant family. She then proceeds to post on social media (we asked everyone not to). Luckily, our facebook profiles can't be tagged without our permission, so we caught it right away and made her delete it, but I am so annoyed!

mrskoz428

@cwell2016 my MIL started telling all her friends after we told the grandparents. We said we were only telling grandparents and immediate family until we had a clear NT scan and genetic testing. I was so pissed at her. I woke my husband up at midnight, when I woke up to a text saying she told her friends, and made him text her that she did not have our permission to share with anyone. I was so pissed off. I don’t understand why the hell they think they can tell whoever they want whenever they want! She has now been completely cut off from any knowledge until I want her to know.

knottie44b28cde134df673

Ugh. My MIL keeps insisting we "could still have twins" even though I'm 14 weeks and we've had multiple ultrasounds showing 1 baby. She downloaded the same pregnancy app we use and is always reading us info about how big the baby is & what's going on in MY pregnancy... like I don't check it myself. So annoying. 

cwell2016

@mrskoz428 I had my husband do the same thing. We were planning to tell the rest of her family tomorrow and I bought a T-shirt with a Thanksgiving announcement. Well that was the plan until she decided to tell all of her brothers/sisters/nieces/nephews yesterday. I have been getting texts all day today saying congratulations. I am so mad, I just forwarded them to my husband and told him to talk to his mother.

@knottie44b28cde134df673 My MIL is doing the same with the apps and things. She is running around acting like she knows more about my pregnancy than me and likes to quiz me on the size and development. 

knarlytaurus

@cwell2016 @mrskoz428 my MIL did the same thing. She told us she slipped up and forgot she wasn't supposed to say anything , but we're so lucky she told my husband's aunt who understood that she wasn't supposed to know and didn't pass it along (and also said the MIL knew exactly what she was doing). DH's aunt understood it was our news and not my MILs to tell.
And then yesterday when she arrived for Thanksgiving (held at my DHs other aunt's house) she immediately reaches over to touch my belly and starts talking about the baby (and she didn't yet know we had told others there). I totally backed away  because first off my "bump" at this point is more just my chunk being pushed up so isn't even where the baby is, and second she didn't ask or anything  She's the only person who's done this to me and I totally didn't/don't want people touching my belly unless I offer! I know she's excited, which is great, but I feel like she just brings out the worst in me, but I'm still pissed she started blabbing when we specifically asked her not to. Just because you haven't taken any time to cultivate a relationship before this doesn't mean you all of a sudden get full access now just because we're expecting. Ugh.