Anybody else praying for twins?

mrsbaker89

Im 29 and a very career oriented person. My husband want at least two kids. I’m praying that I am pregnant with twins. I had some implantation bleeding and freaked out as a new mom to be would. The beta test can back and showed my HCG at 3750 at 5 weeks,6 days. Is that good or bad. Nor morning sickness, I’m just sleepy.

meatballs37

Short answer. No. 

mrsbaker89

Lol

srscott3

That wasn’t meant as a joke, @Knottie30524979

You don’t know @meatballs37 and what she’s been through, so I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt here and chalk up your comment to ignorance. 

Most of the women on this board are hoping for even one healthy baby. They aren’t hoping for twins because their SO wants two kids and they’re “career oriented”, aka only want to do this once. Most women aren’t hoping for a possibly high risk pregnancy. 

Erin1510

I don't think she meant anything by it or to offend anyone with her question. It seems like a perfectly normal question to ask and a perfectly normal hope for pregnancy. Her reasoning shouldn't matter, its her life and her family. If she has a reason for wanting twins more power to her!

To answer your question, no! We have a 4 year old and the thought of twins scares me financially! I've already started calling around to daycares and we're on a list for one that's more than our mortgage...and others I've called are even more expensive. I'm a teacher and my husband is a deputy...while we have great careers we love, we're public employees so not exactly rolling in the dough. The whole reason we waited until my son was the age he is was so that we didn't have to pay for 2 in daycare at the same time. He starts Kinder next year (at the school I work in...I can't wait!) I'd feel like I pissed of the karma gods if we had twins this time around with all the forethought and planning lol! 

ruby696

Uh...  not sure why you think a high risk pregnancy and two newborns is going to be better for your career.  Sounds like the issue may be the number of kids you each want, not the number of times you are pregnant. 

mrsbaker89

Well my post wasn’t meant to be reflected in a negative way. Sorry if it offended anyone on this board. In my family alone we have 8 sets of twins so the possibility of me carrying twins is very high. I definitely understand how stressful it can be for some mothers to conceive and the thought of having an unsuccessful pregnancy would kill me too. With everything that goes on throughout this journey, it’s important to stay positive.

if my post offends anyone I will more than happily delete it because I have learned so much through reading I definitely don’t want to offend anyone.  No I haven’t read meatballs37 story yet.

meatballs37

I’m not offended. I just personally would not want to be pregnant with twins again because I know all the high risks associated with it. And quite honestly wouldn’t wish it on anyone else, even if the outcome was a positive one because of the stress and high risk that comes with it. But that’s just my opinion and I don’t expect everyone to feel the same.

Eta: spelling 

mrsbaker89

Lol I truly understand where you are coming from. Thank you so much for understanding. Like I said earlier I truly didn’t mean to offend anyone and from here on out I’ll probably just read instead of posting. Surely didn’t mean to offend anyone at all.

mrsbaker89

Thanks for telling me about my life. You are awesome.

KissMeImScottish

My short answer is no, definitely hoping there is only one healthy baby in there.

The long answer is, I have twins. They are currently 16 months old. The pregnancy was Hell. It put me out of commission far more solidly and for far longer than my singleton pregnancy (he’s currently 3). I had the lowest risk kind of twin pregnancy - di/di (so two amniotic sacs, two placentas, etc), and the placentas even implanted on opposite sides of my uterus (so no risk of TTTF, which is rare in di/di twins, but can happen). Even with all of that, I still began developing pre-e in my 5th month and when I finally delivered by unplanned c-section (because Twin B flipped footlong breach 2 hours before my induction, we watched him do it on the ultrasound), my BP was almost 200 over 110. I was so swollen I couldn’t walk comfortably, the fatigue from the pre-e was so advanced, I basically blacked out the day before I had them, and my recovery was painful and long. While my babies are ABSOLUTELY worth it, it was NOT easy and I genuinely hope to not go through that again. I am also “at risk” of having another multiple pregnancy because hyper ovulation runs in my family and having a set of fraternal twins raises your statistical likelihood of another set to 1 in 12. It honestly scares the crap out of me. That’s my biggest anxiety with my ultrasound on November 6th - I’m hoping it’s just one in there.

I understand the desire to be one and done, but twins are not an easy road, both in getting them here and afterwards. It was a hard first year. Things are calming down now, but guilt is a very real part of my existence as well. Guilt that I can’t just snuggle one baby because, developmentally, they both need me for the same things, usually at the same time. Guilt that I’m not enough. Guilt that one baby was ALWAYS crying because I had to focus on the other (tandem feeding is great if you have someone to help you latch them, but it’s almost impossible with newborns when you’re by yourself, and my husband went to sea for 3 months when they were 5 days old, so I had to alternate feeding them). I was literally thethered to one or the other for up to 24 feedings a day. It’s a complex thing, and again, while I wouldn’t change anything in how it played it out, I wouldn’t seek that experience out, either. It was so, so hard, physically and emotionally and mentally.

Again, I totally get where you’re coming from. And at this point in pregnancy, there is so much potential and possibility - it’s exciting to imagine what your life will look like next year! And if you DO end up blessed with twins, your life will be wonderful and you will handle it like a champ. But having gone through it, I wouldn’t hope for that experience again, no.

mrsbaker89

@KissMeImScottish
Thanks so much for the post. I have always witnessed family members go through it but I have not experienced it for myself of course. I am happy that your twins are healthy and you are a Champ MOM!

shamrocandroll

I'm not going to answer the question out of superstition/fear of jinxing myself, but I just wanted to say that I am also a very career oriented person, but I definitely don't think it would have made things any easier from a career standpoint.  Also, my priorities and perceptions changed A LOT once I became a mom.

Also, real quick, you should probably change your screen name to something less generic if you plan to stick around so we can recognize you.  It'll make participating in conversations much easier for you and for others that way.

Lastly, please don't delete posts you've made. 

There's a really great list of guidelines pinned at the top of the discussion boards with some really helpful tips and tricks for new participants. 

bakerstreetboys

It's a very real possibility for me, but nope.

nmbrcrnchr1

@Knottie30524979 not a twin mom here, so I won’t give my 2 cents on that, I think @KissMeImScottish has a great story and covered it well, but I will say that hcg is not an indication of multiples. My hcg was over 3,000 at 4w5d and I’ve confirmed, via US, that there is only one healthy baby in there.
also, if you are going to stick around please change your screen name to something more recognizable. You will have to log into the knot to change it, then log off of here and log back in.

KissMeImScottish

I will say, I had betas run at 6 weeks with the twins and my HCG was over 34,000.But like @nmbrcrnchr1 said, our bodies all process HCG differently, which is why some people will get a positive test 4 days before a missed period and others won’t turn a test until 2 weeks after. As long as it’s doubling every 72ish hours, things are usually good.

meatballs37

Not to beat a dead horse here and keep this thread going, but @shamrocandroll has some great advice. And @nmbrcrnchr1 is correct with the HcG. Mine was not any higher with the twins. 

And for anyone who is lurking, the long version of why I would not wish for twins.

**TW**

I got pregnant with mono/di (identical) twins last year, which is the second most high risk type of twin pregnancy behind mono/mono. My boys had separate amniotic sacs, but shared a placenta. (Fraternal twins do not share a placenta). Because of the shared placenta my boys were at risk for something called twin to twin transfusion syndrome, which happens in up to 20% of identical twin pregnancies. In simple terms, this is an uneven sharing of blood/nutrients with the shared placenta. We made it to 21 weeks before my world was shattered and my boys were diagnosed with it. 

At 22 weeks I had a very long surgery to split the vascular connections between my boys in utero. Our son Shepherd passed shorty after. They removed one whole liter of fluid from the other twin, Abraham who was in heart failure. 

I carried both my dead and alive son for three more weeks until my water broke and one was born vaginally and the other via emergency c section. 

Our surviving twin Abe lived for 24 days in the NICU before also passing away. It was months of hell and I am still grieving for them every single day.

I hope my TTC journey doesn’t become like a broken record here, but it is such a big part of who I am.  And I still struggle a lot with the fear and anxiety it has left me with. 

mrsbaker89

@meatballs37 brighter days are coming, keep the faith. Sorry to hear about the twin boys.

Dcwtada

All the creepy internet hugs @meatballs37

ShadeofGreen816

@meatballs37 I had read the cliff notes in your spoiler but your whole story is even more heartbreaking. Lots of creepy stranger hugs to you. I can only hope that this pregnancy is boring to a fault.

mrsbaker89

Since I plan on being around a little longer, I updated my screen name.

luckystar28

No, I’m not hoping for twins. I had severe preeclampsia last time and delivered a preemie. If it’s twins unfortunately my risk goes up for developing it again I’m already high risk so that would just do me in honestly. Emotionally I can’t handle it! 

anonellis

@KissMeImScottish I’m lurking from May (due May 29 is sort of straddling) — I have twins under 2 too and relate to so much of what you said.  Having twins is the best thing that ever happened to me and if a friend told me they had the opportunity to adopt twin infants I would say to JUMP at the opportunity.  But to wish for a twin pregnancy is so bizzare to me. It floored me and I had two full-term healthy babies at the end, though I had many complications and a traumatic delivery.  So many people aren’t as lucky. 

And it has definitely damaged my career.  

Fwiw I had the same fear you did bc I also had fraternal twins, and there’s only one in there for me this time! It is actually hard to adjust to not being high risk this time bc I’m used to many more ultrasounds, attention, and reassurance. 

ShadeofGreen816

After having one very high maintenance DD, I am honestly terrified of there being two in there. I know that you make do what what you have and you just get through it, but that first 4-6 months were really difficult over here with a colicky baby that almost never slept unless she was nursing or being held. I'm already super anxious about having a 2 year old and a newborn, let alone two! 
I get where you're coming from, but trust me - I doubt that it'll be any easier on your career to have two at once vs two at a reasonable age gap. 

jacksonbears

Being a twin myself, I do not want twins. I have a 14 month old, and the idea of her, and two more is frightening. @Erin1510 I'm with you on daycare cost, I honestly think I would need to quit work and be a SAHM. 

As for HCG levels, mine came back at 8,099 at 5 weeks 2 days, so fingers crossed its only one in there. Won't know till my 8 week appointment. 

@meatballs37 giving you lots of hugs! 

desoky01

I'm a twin too, but I'm the opposite. It has made me want twins sometimes. 😉 

sparklingdiamond

Can I just say that I knew that a twin pregnancy was more high risk, but didn't even realize that there were levels of risk within the twin pregnancies (like if they share a placenta, etc).  I feel like I have learned a lot from this thread.

@meatballs37 Sending you a big hug