MBF - Oct 8

leighbrek

First, Happy Thanksgiving to my fellow Canadians!

Now, let's hear it for your weekly vent!
(gifs still not working!)

kianarain

Oh lawd, here comes a rant. I cried for an hour yesterday over the litter box... That whole bathroom has been smelling of pee for a while and I've had an inkling that SO wasn't doing the best job. I was vacuuming in there yesterday & found like 4-5 individual spots outside the litter box where the cats had peed (bathtub, mat, just straight up on the floor, etc.). They are perfectly potty trained and NEVER have accidents if I'm keeping up with the litter box, so I know it's just that he's letting it go past what they deem acceptably clean. In my opinion, that's reasonable; I wouldn't want to go in an overflowing toilet either.

It's so damn frustrating because it's the one thing I CAN'T do and NEED to rely on him for, and he's been dropping the ball. I was pissed (lol no pun intended) so I tied a bandana around my face, put on gloves and went to town w/cleaner. Then he comes in, sees me cleaning and gets mad at me because it's unhealthy for the baby for me to be breathing that shit well then, do your job and I won't have to!!! Ugh.

Then I shut myself in our bedroom and legit sobbed while he finished cleaning. He came in afterwards and apologized for getting mad at me. Queue the "it's not just the litter box, it's the principle" speech from me. But really, it's the bathroom in the baby's room - which I was already hesitant about - and all of this nesting I'm doing seems f*cking pointless if it smells like pee in there. And also I feel like I'm being a trooper in pregnancy, still carrying all my responsibilities that I managed before I was pregnant, and the ONE thing I can't do and need to delegate seems like it's too much and is getting neglected. 

Now I need to decide if I want to invest in protective equipment so I can just do it my damn self, or if I really feel like fighting the battle & asking him to scoop it every...single...day until the baby comes. I researched the risk and it doesn't seem totally sketchy as long as your cats are indoor, don't eat raw, you have gloves on, etc.; but again, the principle. 

kaf1788

@kianarain I know the litterbox struggles all too well! When we had our foster kittens the only thing I asked of my husband was to take care of their litterbox. Surprise surprise I ended up strapping on a dust mask and rubber gloves to scrub that thing out pretty much every time just to keep the nursery from being permanently soaked with pee. 

For our permanent cats, this automatic litterbox has been so key https://a.co/d/9BKT1Z7 . It's definitely pricey but worth every penny!

Mandamay1414

@kianarain sorry about the litter box struggles. I'm having a similar issue with DH mowing the lawn. I normally like doing it, but decided to let him carry that load this summer. Well, I've had to nag him to do it ALL. FREAKING. SUMMER. And then he does a shitty job.

Also, if I have to deal with one more 84-feels-like-95 degree day, I'm going to kill someone. It's OCTOBER in the northeast.. If I wanted to live in the flipping bayou, I would move to the south. 

wkuandrea

well, um, glad to hear that all of our SO's are being slackers! Ha! DH and I got into a similar fight this weekend -- I've been crazy sick, some days so bad that I can barely sit up to drink water or eat soup, so home improvement projects have been low on my list. Well he's feeling "panicked" and "doesn't know where to start" -- so he calls his parents to come help this weekend (which, fine; he's an only child and they always have come to help him with house stuff before me). Except when I asked him what they are going to work on, he had no idea because he was "overwhelmed". He figures that they can help him figure it out... in our own house. I just think that's super rude to ask people to travel to come help you and then not have something specific to work on (I'm also really independent and not very close to my parents, so I realize it's a different dynamic). Mind you, I'm more than happy to discuss with him where I think he should be prioritizing efforts!  Anyhow, we fought, his feelings were hurt, parents came and got some stuff done, he feels better. And his mom and I had a good talk about how being a parent will help him grow up a little  

leighbrek

Oh man. Most weeks my DH has done something to totally grate my nerves, but I have nothing to complain about on that front this week! lol. He's been sweet and attentive, and I feel very fortunate (at the moment).

My big irk this week... Dog hair. Maybe DH does play into this a bit - not that he's a dog - but we have two large dogs and they are shedding like crazy. I've been sweeping and vacuuming, but it's still EVERYWHERE and it's not sitting well with my new-found nesting disposition! It feels like I've just cleaned a space top to bottom when.... Bam! Tumbleweed of dog hair flies across the room. If I don't ask him to do something like vacuum, DH pretends he doesn't see how bad it gets. Drives me right up the wall.

kianarain

@kaf1788 yep, I might just have to give in and get a setup where I can dive in. But that litter box looks awesome! Maybe we'll look into something like that, I don't imagine I'll have all the time in the world for litter box duty once baby is here anyway.

@Mandamay1414 ohhhh, the good ol' nagging just to get it done poorly. Unfortunately, I'm all too familiar. 

All of this aside, I'm grateful that he's showing willingness to do it more frequently/thoroughly and apologized right after he was done cleaning. Maybe it's just cuz today is our anniversary and I'm feeling extra in love lol I'm a sucker.

Also work blows today lol. My entire team got reamed because one member is dropping the ball. So instead of taking it up w/her directly after, my boss called a "meeting debrief" and picked on little things so everyone would feel the heat. Thanks, girl. 

sparkymcgeee

You guys are like my soul sisters. My house is never as clean as I would like it and I just can't do it all and it gives me anxiety and I just want it clean. It's not just DH though. My kids could help out too. 

I'm super over today at work. I am helping test some program stuff for development and I can't do my job until others do their job and the whole thing is messed up and not working right but we have until EOB TODAY to get it completed. They gave this to us Friday afternoon. What were they thinking? On top of that we have a bunch of people out on my team this week which means I'm the go to for all things and I don't have time for ridiculous common sense questions from people who have been on the team just as long or longer than I have. Like use your brain people and then you don't have to come to me. I don't have time to hold your hand.

DH got a promotion last week and is starting to transition to his new role this week but that means he has a ton of meetings and stuff so we door dashed lunch and I was very disappointed. (We work for the same company) So now I'm sure I'll end up eating candy or something else unhealthy because they didn't give me edible food. 

Oh and the doc office called to tell me I needed to do a repeat test because they didn't get results from AUGUST. I was in Friday. I asked if there were any labs or anything and I was told no. Um, maybe double check to make sure before answering. 

I'm just done today.  

drabong88

+1 to the neverending dog hair. We have dark hardwood on the main floor and one of our dogs is white. ..we really didnt think that through I guess. Also our Dyson broke last month and we just bought a cheaper replacement to tie us over for a few months and I hate it. Its heavier and  loud and I dont think it does as good of a job.  

mtengl

My bill tracking app messed up and somehow my Power Bill (which is one of our larger bills thanks to south Texas heat) didn’t transfer to this month. So I didn’t budget for it... I had enough in Misc savings to cover it but now I don’t have anything extra for this month and it has shot my anxiety up.

bradleysmommy28

Add another +1 to the dog hair annoyance!  Also, DH has been slacking on his honey do list which includes random painting/patching walls because he's too busy helping other people and assisting with a complete house renovation for his Aunt when he isn't at work.  When I was cleaning on Sunday because of the aggravating dog hair, he told me it was pointless to dust and vacuum because he had to spackle and sand on Monday.  Yesterday he only half finished so I'm in the midst of a nervous breakdown because of the dog hair, now excess dust due to sanding and I need it cleaned before Sunday when we bring all the stuff home from my baby shower.

galactickates

Ive been living in sun dresses all summer so this hasn't been an issue until now,  but I only have 2 pairs of mat jeans.  I can only wear one to work because the other is distressed.  My one pair I can wear smells! I had them on at a backyard fire plus they just really need to be washed.  I threw a load in at midnight got up early 6:20 to put our clothes in the dryer so they would be ready when I left.  I went to get dressed and never threw the jeans I wanted in the dryer..... I'm so pissed and I had to wear smelly jeans to work because it's cold and rainy out. Hating my stinky life right now 

sparkymcgeee

That sucks @galactickates. I have a few but it still feels like I wear the same thing over and over and I feel like people notice and care. I don't think they care. Why would they but it's a self conscious thing for me.

I've found a few pairs on Zulily that I really like and one pair from Target and one pair from Motherhood. Or leggings. Is that an option? 

tosh24

+1 to the cat litter! DD is actually supposed to do it and has been slacking. I have been reminding her and asking her to do it every day. DH is aware that she is not doing it but has not taken the initiative to hold her accountable for her chores or just do it himself and give her something else to do in return. I got so fed up of the stinky litter box that I went downstairs, put on gloves and a mask, and did it myself. DH walks in while I'm in the middle of cleaning it and starts yelling at me because I'm not supposed to be doing it. Well, no one else is f*cking doing it, dude! And when the cat starts shitting on the carpet because the litter is full, guess who's going to be cleaning that up!?!? So he takes over and starts being dramatic and gagging and dry heaving because it's so dirty, which annoys me even more. Then he starts saying we need to get rid of the cat because he "can't deal with this". Suck it up, buttercup!

sparkymcgeee

For real with the cat box. Annoying. We just recently gave the chore to DD. She's been doing pretty well but she's going to be with my parents for almost two weeks so DH better do it while she's gone. He slacked a lot before it was her chore and it's not okay. I don't want my cats peeing on my rug!

greenhillgirl

So annoying about all the husbands and cat litter. Get it together guys!

My rant- I ordered 4 cabinet organizers from Container Store months ago when there was a major sale. They came to work and were heavier than I expected. I carried one at a time home on the subway randomly. (Getting packages in NYC without a door man is complicated.) I finally carried the last bakeware pull out organizer home last week and this weekend was determined to install another one. I've only installed one and have three left the project is hanging over my head so we can use our kitchen space better and get it worked out before baby is born. DH is not very handy at this stuff. So I get out the drill, the bits, plug it in, open all the packaging, empty out the kitchen cabinet, crawl around on the kitchen floor and get the pieces situated. Then I notice they sent the completely wrong base. It doesn't match the other one and I can't install it. I'm getting too big too carry the thing home again and also to install it and so frustrated.

Sometimes its so hard to finish projects and one little thing totally derails you. Grrrrr.

wkuandrea

ugh @greenhillgirl that is TOTALLY annoying! I'd call a store locally and see if they didn't have some sort of solution to get it to you on a Sat or something when you might be at home? Or could DH go get it -- get a zipcar or something? 

kianarain

@tosh24 ooooooh lawwwd! If SO ever made a comment about getting rid of my babies he'd be on the couch for a week I'm already coming up with a "they were here before you" argument in my head lolol. 

alexandraseattle

@greenhillgirl I feel you on this. We ordered an Elfa system for the garage earlier this year and had to go back twice to get parts that were cut to the wrong size. Started off not cut at all. Then they cut them to the wrong size. I would definitely call their customer service and play the pregnant card, cry a little. See what they can do for you. 

leighbrek

Okay, changing my tune about DH now. I asked him if he ordered the new tires for the truck, cus the current ones are just about toast... He says, "I think so." Wtf, you THINK so? Did you or didn't you?
Then his mother bought some furniture, but couldn't figure out how to pay the full balance because of the limit on her debit card. DH asks me, "Do you want me to go pay for the furniture, or cut the grass?" Well, cut the grass, obviously, so I went to the furniture store to pay the balance... I get home, it's almost dark.... Grass isn't cut. I go in the house with another wtf. "Oh, I ran out of gas."
THEN GO GET  MORE!

All my zen has apparently run out.

jgil85

+1 to dh annoyance! I spent a good portion of the day on my feet, cleaning, doing laundry and taking ds to the parking zoo. I even made dinner for us and cleaned everything up without any offer from dh. Fine, whatever.

I asked dh if he could give ds a bath because I am physically in so much pain and he kept insisting no ds doesn't need a bath. He was only saying that because he didn't want to give him a bath, the kid freaking stinks! I asked him if he realized that I'm only going to get bigger and more uncomfortable and I will need him to take over bath duties. He looked at me like I had 2 heads!!!! I've already decided I'm going on strike tomorrow and planning on taking a nap while he works from home. 

kaf1788

Temperatures in Boston have been fluctuating like 20-30 degrees daily and the climate control on the subway and in my office building can't keep up. It's 9am and my dress is already basically soaked through with sweat.

ladystout08

@kaf1788 I'm with you, here in PA we went from the 50/60s last week to the 80s this week. They had already turned off the A/C and turned on the heat in my building and I can't deal. 

molosmiles

@jgil85 I don't remember how old your son is, but my daughter is 2 and I totally throw her in the shower. Most nights it is with her older sister but if she isn't around or only DD2 needs to be cleaned, I'll either get in with her or just stand outside. It works great and the only time I have to bend over is when I soap her up, and it's not so far down! She loves it and pretty much asks for a shower all the time.