Well, my MIL took it upon herself to tell all her friends I’m pregnant. We told DHs grandparents so she felt like that gave her the okay to share with everyone. She didn’t even ask if she could. Honestly, I’m pissed. We wanted to only tell family until we got to hear the heartbeat, which isn’t for another 4 weeks. I could just spit tacks, I’m so pissed! 🤬
@mrskoz428 make her aware that because of her bs she will now intentionally be kept out of the loop on your pregnancy and will be the last to know everything now. It may make her straighten up.
Pregnancy #1 DD 08.30.2007 Pregnancy #2 Natural Miscarriage at 6 weeks 03/2014 Due date 11/9/2014 Pregnancy #3 DS 02.23.2015 Pregnancy #4 Missed Miscarriage at 11 weeks 11/2018 Due date 5/22/2019 Pregnancy #5 Positive test 12/11/2019 Due Date 8/17/2020
I am grateful that DH often does things to pull his weight inside the house, but wish he would leave the laundry alone! He doesn't understand dryer sheets, and never runs the dryer long enough, so all the clothes though "clean" have a mild damp/musty smell instead of the chemical fresh I pay for!!!
@mrskoz428 Ugh, my mom was the same way with my first pregnancy (and really any other medical stuff -- I had all kinds of bladder issues after #2, and my mom told everyone she knows. Super annoying as I'm a pretty private person. One time, I was in the bathroom and my mom was just outside with my kiddos, and I could hear her telling my cousin alllll about it... awful). It's super frustrating to feel like I want to tell her stuff, but she doesn't know how to keep her mouth shut, so she doesn't get to know.
DH and I are the only ones who know about this pregnancy so far -- haven't even told my sister, who I told very early the last few times -- mostly because people suck at keeping things quiet, and we don't want our kiddos to know about it until we're further along.
@liliumstargazer13 yes! DH isn’t allowed to touch my laundry because he has ruined quite a few of my shirts from either shrinking them or spilling bleach on them.
@psychobutthead that’s what’s going to happen now. I’m so pissed off. Like what part, “we are telling the grandparents” makes her think she can tell everyone and their hairdresser? Ugh!
@mrskoz428 wanna know how bad my mil is? When i was pregnant with my son my sil had just found out her baby had turners syndrome and had a 2% chance of just surviving being born.
Sil found that out when I was 9ish weeks pregnant. I told my mil to bot tell her or anyone who might tell her because it would be cruel to do so.
Whats she go and do? She tells her daughter that the same day she made the choice to terminate her pregnancy.
I will never understand how a mother was so cruel to her own daughter to do that.
Pregnancy #1 DD 08.30.2007 Pregnancy #2 Natural Miscarriage at 6 weeks 03/2014 Due date 11/9/2014 Pregnancy #3 DS 02.23.2015 Pregnancy #4 Missed Miscarriage at 11 weeks 11/2018 Due date 5/22/2019 Pregnancy #5 Positive test 12/11/2019 Due Date 8/17/2020
@mrskoz428 wanna know how bad my mil is? When i was pregnant with my son my sil had just found out her baby had turners syndrome and had a 2% chance of just surviving being born.
Sil found that out when I was 9ish weeks pregnant. I told my mil to bot tell her or anyone who might tell her because it would be cruel to do so.
Whats she go and do? She tells her daughter that the same day she made the choice to terminate her pregnancy.
I will never understand how a mother was so cruel to her own daughter to do that.
WT actual F? Some people are so tactless, it's astonishing.
@brie_and_almonds OMG! 😭 That is so cruel. I am so thankful DH is taking the reigns on shutting her up because I would not be capable of being nice to her right now. I haven’t had the chance to tell my family and she’s going and tell all of her friends. And we only started telling people because some of our cousins figured it oit at my BIL wedding reception because I was only drinking water. I don’t want people hearing it through the grapevine. This is sooner than we wanted to tell, even though I’m 10 weeks today. Still not over it. 🤬
@brie_and_almonds all of my inlaws are a piece of work. I have and endless list of shit all of them have done. Honestly if I had known I would have gotten treated the way I have been I woukd have broken upq with my husband right away.
Pregnancy #1 DD 08.30.2007 Pregnancy #2 Natural Miscarriage at 6 weeks 03/2014 Due date 11/9/2014 Pregnancy #3 DS 02.23.2015 Pregnancy #4 Missed Miscarriage at 11 weeks 11/2018 Due date 5/22/2019 Pregnancy #5 Positive test 12/11/2019 Due Date 8/17/2020
I've been late to work for the last two years, because DH can't get out of the shower on time. I always threaten that I'm going to hop in before him, but then he'd be stuck getting himself ready while DD is unsupervised. I'm starting to not care if that's the case. He can figure it out.
@mrskoz428 how frustrating, sorry!! I will never understand why people think it's okay to share your private news.
Daycare was closed today which is annoying because they did a pretty poor job of announcing it. Like, we found out this past Friday which was way too late for us to take today off work. Thankfully my mom and sister were around. DD loves the daycare and it's a very convenient location, but the directors are just not good at giving parents info in advance. I mean, they were great about telling us in advance that the fall 2018 tuition prices were increasing, but otherwise we are finding other stuff out last minute.
Me: 33 DH: 34 Married: Oct 2015 TTC #1: Sept 2016 BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16 BFP: 3/24/17 DD1 born 12/2/17 TTC #2: July 2018 BFP: 8/26/18 DD2 born 5/16/19
@peachy13 well and we told her we were only sharing with family. She is now out of the loop. Also, super sorry about your daycare. Funny how they were so good at informing about tuition raises but not when they are open/closed. Feeling for you!
@mrskoz428 My parents and my husband’s are the same. I told my parents around 7 weeks with DS, and she did ok not telling for a couple of weeks, but then she would ask if she could tell her sister, or her best friend, or her cousin, etc. Like, noo.. stop asking. When we told husband’s parents, the first thing MIL asked was if Nana and husband’s sister knew yet. Umm.. could you not ask when I was due, or how I was feeling, or just be excited first? And then we overheard FIL telling his best friend just a couple of hours later even though we told them not to tell anyone. So, needless to say, we’ll probably tell my parents around 10 weeks, and probably tell my in laws not long before we announce. I’m so ready for first trimester to be over and have this out in the open!
@lovelybabybumpz That’s so funny you say that about pregnancy nose and your husband in the mornings. Husband has recently gotten banished to the spare bathroom when he has to poop. It’s never bothered me before, but my pregnancy nose can’t take it. 😂
@liliumstargazer13 I’m the same about laundry and my husband. Not that he even does his own laundry for it to be slightly damp, but it frustrates me that he doesn’t do it, so every now and then, I’ll ask him to help me fold clothes. However, he’s SO bad at it that I just end up refolding them anyway. How do you not know how to fold a shirt? So irritating.
@msb615 Ugh how annoying! I tend to think when people ask "Oh, can I tell so and so?" that they already did and are half asking your permission. @mrskoz428 You have every right to be annoyed! Glad your husband is stepping in.
I miraculously have nothing to bitch about at the moment. My co-worker brought munchkins to our morning meeting and I awkwardly kept getting up to get more. Not sorry. I'll be back with a complaint!
So the teacher who teaches the other pre-k class and afternoon kindergarteners is out today. She told me, but I forgot. No biggie, they got her a sub for the morning. But, surprise, I'm teaching her afternoon kindergarten. I'm annoyed that I didn't know until I got to work, normally I just supervise naptime in the afternoon. And on top of it, we also discovered the local Catholic school is off today, so the kids in our before/after school program that attend there are with us (specifically, me) all afternoon on top of the kindergarteners. I'm just annoyed I didn't know any of this. It isn't a huge deal in terms of lessons because the teacher has it all good to go, but I don't want to. I've just been so irritable and annoyed today that I want to be done interacting with people, but instead I have to interact twice as much as usual today. And I had to take an earlier lunch, so I'm going to be hungry later.
@lovelybabybumpz Y’all may just have to come up with a schedule for your nose’s sake! Mornings are hard enough without being smelly too!
@secicc12 Yess.. makes me wonder. So I’m just trying to do her a favor since I know she’s going to have a hard time not telling haha Of course her feelings will probably be hurt I didn’t tell her sooner, so it’s kind of lose lose.
I have today off, so I really have nothing out of the ordinary to bitch out. Just the same old things. Dishwasher and ice marker still messed up since husband hasn’t called. I guess I’ll just call myself. I also need to call my dr office to reschedule my blood work appt on Thursday, but part of me wants to just skip talking to the NP because I’m not sure the point of it. Can I not just have my blood work done when I come for the Doppler appt? It wasn’t this way last time, so I kind of don’t see the point in talking to her. I don’t know how to say that nicely though. 🤷🏼♀️
So irritated. Last week I was prescribed antibiotics for a suspected UTI. Even after my ua came back negative she still wanted me to take the antibiotics. I didn't. One, because WTH, and two because my insurance is wonky and I couldn't pick it up. I get a call today that I don't have a UTI (whoa, shocker) and to STOP TAKING THE ANTIBIOTICS. What the crap? It's so annoying. You don't just give and take away antibiotics. I'm really glad I'm stubborn and poor 😂
@msb615 I’m thankful that I’m 10 weeks today so I feel a little okay with people knowing, but we specifically asked to not say anything because we are only telling family until we announce on Facebook. Trust me, I’m ready to shout from the roof tops, but not quite yet!
DH is telling MIL and FIL when he sees them this weekend (we'll be just past 9 weeks) since he's traveling to the east coast for work. DD and I won't be there. They were good last time but we had an issue with MIL telling DH's college friend's mom we were engaged who told her son who got mad DH didn't tell him. We waited over a month to post on FB so we could tell our friends and family in a more personal way since so many of them had been involved in our relationship for the decade+ we'd been together. For some reason, MIL knowing still makes me really nervous that she'll spill even though she knew earlier last pregnancy.
Also, DH offered not to go on this work trip since it's 8 days and DD has been waking up once a night, which he handles since I'm so tired and can't get back to sleep. I said he could/should go...but he absolutely had the option to fly back for Friday night-Sunday morning and I'm kind of pissed he didn't take it. That wasn't the question he asked and he mentioned it in the morning when he was going to be booking it that day while we were scrambling to get DD ready for daycare and out the door. He's always saying we should go into Boston when we're visiting family and see our friends from college and it's just so hard to coordinate while we're home trying to see both families. Now he could have work pay for a hotel for him in Boston over the weekend and get to see all these people he says he wants to see when we have a million things going on and he's going to his parent's house instead. I'm so confused and told him this makes no sense.
@lovelybabybumpz OMG I have always had the same issue with DH. Now it’s not that he can’t get out of the shower in time, but he can’t get outta bed on time to take over taking care of DD so I can shower. 4 days out of 5 I have to drop DD on our bed and say “I’m showering now”. Otherwise he will lay there forever. When he was getting up with her every night for night feedings, I didn’t mind. But now that she sleeps through the night, it’s jusy because he stays up too late watching TV to get to bed on time.
@mrskoz428 I would be LIVID! Shouting from the rooftops angry. I’m sorry you are dealing with that and I’m glad DH is stepping in. I would full-on cut my mother out of any news of she were to do that.
@kvh22 what goes through men’s minds sometimes? They act like they are so transparent and then they just do something so illogical. 🙄
I’m super testy today because my students prank called me late Saturday night. I’ve schedule our school resource officer to come into my room each period to talk to the kids about prank calls/trust/etc. but it sucks that I even have to do it. The last two years, kids didn’t abuse the fact that we teachers hand out our phone numbers for the kids to call if they have questions, but this year? Not so lucky.
Just annoying because I really like this group of kids and now I’m going to be on edge for a while and less trusting. Just not how I want to start my Monday.
i can’t wait for tomorrow when DH is finally home and we go in for our US appt. It can’t come soon enough.
Here’s a petty one...I have celiac disease so I have to eat gluten free. Someone brought the most delicious looking Italian cookies over my house on Saturday and I want them so bad. SO BAD
So I have a rant now. I’ll apologze in advance bc this will be long. I have a Facebook message group with my parents that my dad will usually send articles to me and my mom. Today happened to be an article about “grandparents are the best thing ever for your child”. While I do agree a relationship with grandparents are obviously awesome for a child to have, it was just a ridiculous article. For instance (taken from said article):
“Grandparents surround their grandchildren with a very special love — one that is more patient, fun and accepting and less critical than the one kids receive from their parents.”
“Kids who have strong relationships with their grandparents are more likely to stay out of trouble; have better performance in school; demonstrate more prosocial behaviors such as generosity and kindness; and have less depression and anxiety than those that do not.”
It really rubbed me the wrong way. I would like to think that my child will stay out of trouble, do good in school, be generous and kind, and less depressed and anxious from how my husband and I raise him regardless of his relationship with grandparents. Like, what? And also, of course grandparents are more patient. They don’t see them day in and day out, but that doesn’t mean I’m not patient and encouraging and fun. I’m probably being ultra sensitive. I realize that, but my parents and DS have a great relationship and seem borderline obsessed. My husband and I are the third wheels when my parents and son are together. They can’t even hold a conversation with my husband and I because they are so wrapped up with DS. DS also acts like we do not exist when they’re around, which really hurts my feelings as it is. So to get this passive aggressive and guilt trippy article really pushed me over the edge a bit. I’m sorry, but during the week, I’m tired after working all day when I didn’t get any sleep the night before from DS waking up and wanting to be in bed with us and then fighting with him to eat something more than a cracker for dinner. I’m ready for him to wind down by 7:30 and be going to sleep by 8. Not to mention they travel all of the time (currently in Ft. Lauderdale and we’re just in Hawaii a couple of weeks ago), so I really don’t feel sorry for them not getting to see him every time they want to. I just wish they would put as much effort into their relationship with me as they do my son. If that makes me sound jealous, so be it.
SO SORRY for this long rant, and thanks for anyone who read all of it. I’ve been holding that in for quite a while! 😐
@msb615 I'm so sorry they act that way. That article sounds like it's not at all scientific. Obviously a relationship with grandparents is a positive but it shouldn't undermine your relationship with your DS. I feel like statements like this also lose sight of the fact that it might not actually be the relationship with the grandparents that is helpful, but that the type of parents who would have grandparents for their children who want to be involved have healthier relationships/less baggage (coming from someone who didn't talk to her father for a decade). While all of DD's grandparents are involved in her life, we live across the country from them, so I don't fully feel your pain, but MIL is over the top into DD while she could care less what I have to say about anything and practically ignores me most of the time - and I've known her for more than half my life! I did talk to my SIL (DH's brother's wife) about a few of MILs quirks and it made me feel a bit better but it's different when it's your own parent, I'm sure.
I have I have exactly one pair of jeans that fit and REALLY wanted to wear them to work today. But couldn't bc I couldn't find them. I'm fairly certain they're in the laundry room, but I can't go in the laundry room bc dh hasn't cleaned out the litter box even though I've asked him to do it 957 times and the smell makes me sick. I swear if he hasn't cleaned it out by the time I get home we're getting divorced. 😠 (Not really)
@msb615 That's so sad, I'm sorry. Would your parents listen to you if you told them how you felt? No one wants to feel like the third wheel around their kid/anyone else. It's great they have a loving relationship, but not at the risk of ruining your own relationship with your parents. That article sounds like a load of BS, too. I wonder if they even read it before seeing the title and just sending along.
@kvh22 It’s funny you say that because my in laws are the ones that will talk more to us and act normal around DS. However, they aren’t super involved with DS and don’t make much of an effort to see him, so my in laws and parents are basically two different extremes. I just don’t understand why it’s so difficult for my parents to enjoy my son and still be able to have conversations with me and my husband. Being around them is hardly even enjoyable because they’re so worried about keeping DS entertained. My husband and I basically let them watch DS, and we go out and have a date night or meet up with friends. I hate that it’s gotten this way, but there’s just no talking to them (I’ve tried), so what’s the point of being around them when they and DS are in their own little world? So frustrating...
@secicc12 I’ve told my mom plenty of times. This has been going on for so long. I talked to my dad about it (through messenger anyway) after sending that article, so he knows now if he didn’t before. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I feel like they have played a part in getting DS so attached to them by spoiling him so bad. For example when me and husband went out to eat Thursday, once my mom got to the house, DS immediately wanted her and no one else. Wanted her to hold him and wouldn’t come to me or my husband. Didn’t even notice when we left. However, when it was time for her to go, he clung onto her and pitched a fit when she left. Breaks my heart, and she’s just says, it’s probably because he doesn’t see us (her and my dad) all of the time. 🙄 There’s no talking to them, and it’s put such a strain on our relationship. I just don’t even know how to get through to them at this point.
@msb615 Oh gosh that would be so upsetting. Your mom should recognize how hurtful that can be and back off. If anything, she's impacting your relationship with DS now. I don't even have any helpful suggestions except maybe limiting their time together? Or making them include you and DH.
How can we be expected to work when we feel like such shit? Sigh. My boss just gave me a project due at the end of the week and I can barely keep my eyes open. Weekends I feel like ass because I’m chasing a toddler all day, but then my boss is an ass to me. I feel like he wouldn’t have added to my workload if he knew how Shitty I felt. But alas social norms dictates I have to keep my pregnancy quiet for another 5 weeks. All of colleagues knew about my MC when they happened, and I would tell them again, I don’t know why I have to kee my pregnancy quiet.
@secicc12 And you know DS is absolutely fine when he’s around anyone else, but if my parents are around, it’s like no one else matters. His birthday party, he was all about them, and we had to make an effort to get him to do other things without them. I borderline don’t think it’s normal for him to be so attached to them, but I know they feed the relationship by being all about him and nothing else. We really don’t see them that often due to it feeling so strained because of how they act around DS, but I wish it wasn’t. I want us all to enjoy being together, but I just don’t know how to get there when they continue acting the way they do. Ugh thanks for letting me whine.
Re: Monday B!tch Fest 10/8
Pregnancy #2 Natural Miscarriage at 6 weeks 03/2014 Due date 11/9/2014
Pregnancy #3 DS 02.23.2015
Pregnancy #4 Missed Miscarriage at 11 weeks 11/2018 Due date 5/22/2019
Pregnancy #5 Positive test 12/11/2019 Due Date 8/17/2020
DH and I are the only ones who know about this pregnancy so far -- haven't even told my sister, who I told very early the last few times -- mostly because people suck at keeping things quiet, and we don't want our kiddos to know about it until we're further along.
@psychobutthead that’s what’s going to happen now. I’m so pissed off. Like what part, “we are telling the grandparents” makes her think she can tell everyone and their hairdresser? Ugh!
Sil found that out when I was 9ish weeks pregnant. I told my mil to bot tell her or anyone who might tell her because it would be cruel to do so.
Whats she go and do? She tells her daughter that the same day she made the choice to terminate her pregnancy.
I will never understand how a mother was so cruel to her own daughter to do that.
Pregnancy #2 Natural Miscarriage at 6 weeks 03/2014 Due date 11/9/2014
Pregnancy #3 DS 02.23.2015
Pregnancy #4 Missed Miscarriage at 11 weeks 11/2018 Due date 5/22/2019
Pregnancy #5 Positive test 12/11/2019 Due Date 8/17/2020
Pregnancy #2 Natural Miscarriage at 6 weeks 03/2014 Due date 11/9/2014
Pregnancy #3 DS 02.23.2015
Pregnancy #4 Missed Miscarriage at 11 weeks 11/2018 Due date 5/22/2019
Pregnancy #5 Positive test 12/11/2019 Due Date 8/17/2020
BFP: 8/20/2018 - EDD 5/4/2019
That sounds so sweet in theory. But I want nowhere near the bathroom after DH uses it in the morning. Especially now with pregnancy nose
BFP: 8/20/2018 - EDD 5/4/2019
Daycare was closed today which is annoying because they did a pretty poor job of announcing it. Like, we found out this past Friday which was way too late for us to take today off work. Thankfully my mom and sister were around. DD loves the daycare and it's a very convenient location, but the directors are just not good at giving parents info in advance. I mean, they were great about telling us in advance that the fall 2018 tuition prices were increasing, but otherwise we are finding other stuff out last minute.
Married: Oct 2015
TTC #1: Sept 2016
BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16
BFP: 3/24/17
TTC #2: July 2018
BFP: 8/26/18
@lovelybabybumpz That’s so funny you say that about pregnancy nose and your husband in the mornings. Husband has recently gotten banished to the spare bathroom when he has to poop. It’s never bothered me before, but my pregnancy nose can’t take it. 😂
@liliumstargazer13 I’m the same about laundry and my husband. Not that he even does his own laundry for it to be slightly damp, but it frustrates me that he doesn’t do it, so every now and then, I’ll ask him to help me fold clothes. However, he’s SO bad at it that I just end up refolding them anyway. How do you not know how to fold a shirt? So irritating.
A spare bathroom sounds wonderful. One day I will live the dream with extra bathrooms..
BFP: 8/20/2018 - EDD 5/4/2019
I miraculously have nothing to bitch about at the moment. My co-worker brought munchkins to our morning meeting and I awkwardly kept getting up to get more. Not sorry. I'll be back with a complaint!
@secicc12 Yess.. makes me wonder. So I’m just trying to do her a favor since I know she’s going to have a hard time not telling haha Of course her feelings will probably be hurt I didn’t tell her sooner, so it’s kind of lose lose.
I have today off, so I really have nothing out of the ordinary to bitch out. Just the same old things. Dishwasher and ice marker still messed up since husband hasn’t called. I guess I’ll just call myself. I also need to call my dr office to reschedule my blood work appt on Thursday, but part of me wants to just skip talking to the NP because I’m not sure the point of it. Can I not just have my blood work done when I come for the Doppler appt? It wasn’t this way last time, so I kind of don’t see the point in talking to her. I don’t know how to say that nicely though. 🤷🏼♀️
Also, DH offered not to go on this work trip since it's 8 days and DD has been waking up once a night, which he handles since I'm so tired and can't get back to sleep. I said he could/should go...but he absolutely had the option to fly back for Friday night-Sunday morning and I'm kind of pissed he didn't take it. That wasn't the question he asked and he mentioned it in the morning when he was going to be booking it that day while we were scrambling to get DD ready for daycare and out the door. He's always saying we should go into Boston when we're visiting family and see our friends from college and it's just so hard to coordinate while we're home trying to see both families. Now he could have work pay for a hotel for him in Boston over the weekend and get to see all these people he says he wants to see when we have a million things going on and he's going to his parent's house instead. I'm so confused and told him this makes no sense.
@kvh22 what goes through men’s minds sometimes? They act like they are so transparent and then they just do something so illogical. 🙄
Just annoying because I really like this group of kids and now I’m going to be on edge for a while and less trusting. Just not how I want to start my Monday.
i can’t wait for tomorrow when DH is finally home and we go in for our US appt. It can’t come soon enough.
“Grandparents surround their grandchildren with a very special love — one that is more patient, fun and accepting and less critical than the one kids receive from their parents.”
“Kids who have strong relationships with their grandparents are more likely to stay out of trouble; have better performance in school; demonstrate more prosocial behaviors such as generosity and kindness; and have less depression and anxiety than those that do not.”
It really rubbed me the wrong way. I would like to think that my child will stay out of trouble, do good in school, be generous and kind, and less depressed and anxious from how my husband and I raise him regardless of his relationship with grandparents. Like, what? And also, of course grandparents are more patient. They don’t see them day in and day out, but that doesn’t mean I’m not patient and encouraging and fun. I’m probably being ultra sensitive. I realize that, but my parents and DS have a great relationship and seem borderline obsessed. My husband and I are the third wheels when my parents and son are together. They can’t even hold a conversation with my husband and I because they are so wrapped up with DS. DS also acts like we do not exist when they’re around, which really hurts my feelings as it is. So to get this passive aggressive and guilt trippy article really pushed me over the edge a bit. I’m sorry, but during the week, I’m tired after working all day when I didn’t get any sleep the night before from DS waking up and wanting to be in bed with us and then fighting with him to eat something more than a cracker for dinner. I’m ready for him to wind down by 7:30 and be going to sleep by 8. Not to mention they travel all of the time (currently in Ft. Lauderdale and we’re just in Hawaii a couple of weeks ago), so I really don’t feel sorry for them not getting to see him every time they want to. I just wish they would put as much effort into their relationship with me as they do my son. If that makes me sound jealous, so be it.
SO SORRY for this long rant, and thanks for anyone who read all of it. I’ve been holding that in for quite a while! 😐
DD1: June 2014 - VBM4lyfe
DD2: October 2016
DC3: coming May 2019