One night stand — The Bump
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One night stand

I have found myself pregnant by someone I hardly know. I told him about it and he told me to get an abortion. I am totally against that and wish to continue my pregnancy. I already a child who is 5 and I couldn’t imagine life without her. I feel as though this child was sent to me for a reason. The dad has told me to stay away from him and he wants nothing to do with me. As for the baby he said we’ll go to court if I don’t get my own place because at the moment I live with my mother but I planned to move out before I found out I was pregnant. I feel so hurt but I know I can raise another child on my own. I don’t think I’m making the wrong choice. He also has 3 kids of his own from a previous relationship so I know that puts pressure on him but he should take responsibility for his actions just like I am. 
I am at a lost ofwords right now and I feel so confused and just want someone to talk to. 

Re: One night stand

  • First of all, hugs mama. 

    Second, how exactly does he plan on staying away from responsibility but also trying to control where you live...? I mean, if he doesn't plan on being around, why the fuck does he care?  Do you plan on filing for child support, is that why he's being a dickhead? He can't control your life or your child's, especially if he decides not to be a part of that child's life.  I don't know where he gets the idea he can control you without being around...?
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  • I have found myself pregnant by someone I hardly know. I told him about it and he told me to get an abortion. I am totally against that and wish to continue my pregnancy. I already a child who is 5 and I couldn’t imagine life without her. I feel as though this child was sent to me for a reason. The dad has told me to stay away from him and he wants nothing to do with me. As for the baby he said we’ll go to court if I don’t get my own place because at the moment I live with my mother but I planned to move out before I found out I was pregnant. I feel so hurt but I know I can raise another child on my own. I don’t think I’m making the wrong choice. He also has 3 kids of his own from a previous relationship so I know that puts pressure on him but he should take responsibility for his actions just like I am. 
    I am at a lost ofwords right now and I feel so confused and just want someone to talk to. 
    What do you mean by "go to court?" As in he'll try to take the baby away from you? As in he'll try to prove he's not the father?

    No one can force you to get an abortion. And as for staying away from him, he has legal responsibilities to this child because he is the father. At the very least, he'll probably have to pay child support. 

    It makes no sense that he doesn't want anything to do with you or the baby to the point he wants you to have an abortion, and yet he'll take you to court over the baby. What? Those two are not compatible. 

  • No one can force you to get an abortion. And as for staying away from him, he has legal responsibilities to this child because he is the father. At the very least, he'll probably have to pay child support. 

    It makes no sense that he doesn't want anything to do with you or the baby to the point he wants you to have an abortion, and yet he'll take you to court over the baby. What? Those two are not compatible. 
    1. YOUR body, YOUR choice.  He has no say in the matter. Having an orgasm doesn't give him any right to control what you do with your body.

    2. I agree with lovesclimbing that it doesn't make sense that he wants you to have an abortion but will take you to court over the baby.  That is something a lot of dudes do.  "I want nothing to do with it, but if you do something I don't like/agree with, I'LL SEE YOU IN COURT!".  Doesn't work that way. Feel free to tell him so.  And, at this point, I would not go out of my way to contact him.  Respond cordially to any texts (no phone calls, document everything), but don't give him any updates unless he specifically asks for them. If he ever does bring you to court, you can show that you haven't been "keeping the child away" from him, even though he has told you he wants nothing to do with it. 
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