October - Adoptive and Hopeful Adoptive Parents — The Bump
Adoption

October - Adoptive and Hopeful Adoptive Parents

What route (Foster Care adoption, domestic, international)?

Where are you in the process right now (just thinking, home study, waiting for match, etc.)

Anything new and exciting happening this month in your process?

Any questions?

Any tips for the steps you’ve passed?

GTKY (Get to know you) What are you planning to dress up as for Halloween?
Me: 26   H: 26
Foster Care process
Licensed: June 2017
Foster son placed with us: January 2018

Re: October - Adoptive and Hopeful Adoptive Parents

  • What route (Foster Care adoption, domestic, international)? Foster Care

    Where are you in the process right now (just thinking, home study, waiting for match, etc.) We have one placement who still has a return home goal. We are open to more placements (we are licensed for up to 3 children in our current home), but we haven't had any other calls yet.

    Anything new and exciting happening this month in your process? We just had a court date where it was determined that our son would stay in care for another 12 months (this is re-assessed every 6 months or so and can be pushed back to more than 12 months). So now we know he'll be with us at least another year. It's nice to finally have a timeline.

    Any questions? None at the moment.

    Any tips for the steps you’ve passed? Nothing new

    GTKY (Get to know you) What are you planning to dress up as for Halloween? I actually don't celebrate Halloween. I just couldn't think of any other October-related GTKY questions.
    Me: 26   H: 26
    Foster Care process
    Licensed: June 2017
    Foster son placed with us: January 2018
    brazenbiblio
  • What route (Foster Care adoption, domestic, international)? Domestic Infant Adoption

    Where are you in the process right now (just thinking, home study, waiting for match, etc.)? We had a birth mom select us, but she is significantly over our budget so I am going back to the bank to see if they will increase our loan amount. She's due in Dec so we would need to act soon, plus she is free to select someone else in the meantime. Otherwise we will need to continue to wait to be matched with someone who qualifies for our budget.

    Anything new and exciting happening this month in your process? I had a great conversation with our social worker. She said I could reach out to her anytime in order to get an update or to check in and make sure we get our profile shown. We did learn that the changes we made in our birth mother preferences is helping us get noticed more. Unfortunately budget continues to be a factor for us so I am attempting to get more money approved for our loan and am really working to get our grant applications out. Once I have been matched, I can start crowdfunding.

    I learned that our local hospital is looking for Cuddlers for the NICU so I applied and have an interview on Monday. I figure it will give me lots of experience handling newborns and they will give me training on infant care and child/infant CPR. Here's hoping it works out.

    Any questions? How would you handle a budget increase? Put it on a credit card? Increase your loan? Ask a family member for a loan? Or stick to the budget you know you can handle for sure? Say it's $5k - $7k.

    Any tips for the steps you’ve passed? Don't be afraid to ask questions. We pay a lot to recontract with the agency and update our Homestudy every year. We shouldn't feel hesitant to check in every once in a while. I will check in every 2 months from now on. 

    GTKY (Get to know you) What are you planning to dress up as for Halloween? I have to start thinking about this because our office dresses up every Halloween. Last year I was the mom from Stranger Things. I've also been Annabelle from that creepy horror movie and an old time golfer. Any suggestions?
    brazenbibliohopeful207
  • @AnnieR81 ; What makes certain birth parents cost different amounts to adopt their child? I know it's illegal (at least in most states?) to pay someone to let you adopt their child, so I thought all the costs were just medical expenses, legal expenses, and agency fees.
    Me: 26   H: 26
    Foster Care process
    Licensed: June 2017
    Foster son placed with us: January 2018
  • @britters314 It's considered "living expenses". If a mother is homeless, you may pay her rent or hotel bill. If she is addicted to drugs, you may need to pay for rehab, or if she has no insurance, you may need to pay her medical expenses or insurance costs so she get covered. Different scenarios offer a different financial commitment. The agency, legal and marketing fees are all consistent throughout the agency.
  • @AnnieR81 I'd love to have that kind of job. Especially with the training.

    Me-33
    DH -32
    Married in 2008
    Started TTC in 2011
    Began testing May 2014
    Test Results
    HSG- clear
    Hysteroscopy- clear
    SA- 11 mil count
    45% motility
    Diagnosis: MFI
    July 2014: Femera 5mg CD 4-8, Trigger, IUI = BFN
    August 2015: Femera 5mg CD 4-8, Trigger, IUI = BFN
    September 2015: Femera 5mg CD 4-8, Trigger, IUI = BFN
    May 2018 after long period of not trying, starting adoption process


  • What route (Foster Care adoption, domestic, international)? private adoption from long time friend

    Where are you in the process right now (just thinking, home study, waiting for match, etc.) waiting for the upcoming adoption court date

    Anything new and exciting happening this month in your process? we found out that we don't have to do a home study. We're really relieved since we were worried we wouldn't be able to afford it. We only had to interview with a social worker which we did on Friday. Now the final court date is in November.

    Any questions? any advice on what age to talk about adoption with a child?

    Any tips for the steps you’ve passed? I feel like our process was totally out of the norm so I don't really have any tips other than maybe make it known to people about looking to adopt. I didn't talk about it for a long time and if I hadn't of opened up about it to my friend she wouldn't have thought of me when looking for a family for her baby.

    GTKY (Get to know you) What are you planning to dress up as for Halloween? I've never celebrated Halloween before and I'm not sure I'm going to start. She's still pretty young so I don't think she'll mind.


    Me-33
    DH -32
    Married in 2008
    Started TTC in 2011
    Began testing May 2014
    Test Results
    HSG- clear
    Hysteroscopy- clear
    SA- 11 mil count
    45% motility
    Diagnosis: MFI
    July 2014: Femera 5mg CD 4-8, Trigger, IUI = BFN
    August 2015: Femera 5mg CD 4-8, Trigger, IUI = BFN
    September 2015: Femera 5mg CD 4-8, Trigger, IUI = BFN
    May 2018 after long period of not trying, starting adoption process


  • @AnnieR81 we are planning to start our match budget at $35k. We dont plan to go active until we have that amount saved. But, if we are presented with a great opportunity that is over our budget we have a credit card we can put up to $10k on. (Although I reeeeeally dont want to. It'd have to be like a golden opportunity.) How does the match look otherwise? 


    What route (Foster Care adoption, domestic, international)? Domestic infant adoption

    Where are you in the process right now (just thinking, home study, waiting for match, etc.)
    Starting our home study soon!

    Anything new and exciting happening this month in your process?
    We are finally moving forward! We decided to take most of 2018 to indulge and enjoy each other as a couple.

    Any questions? Nope!

    Any tips for the steps you’ve passed? Lol no. We have not passed any steps. 

    GTKY (Get to know you) What are you planning to dress up as for Halloween? I work in a leasing office and the neighborhood kids come in expecting me to be dressed up. So I'll probably do something easy like a cat or a witch. 


    Me: 28 Husby: 32
    Married May 2014
    TTC #1 Since April 2015
    Currently pursuing domestic infant adoption

    Our journey so far...
    (tw loss)
    Diagnosis: Poor Egg Quality 
    Working with an RE since March 2016
    2 failed TI cycles
    3 failed IUI cycles

    IVF Feb - April 2017
    23 eggs collected, 20 mature, 14 fertilized with ICSI, 4 day 3 blasts, 3 day 5 blasts, 1 PGS normal
    Transferred 1 PGS normal embryo 4.12.17
    BFP 4.21.17
    MMC due to small gestational sac 6.8.17

    Our adoption journey:
    12.25.18 Agency picked and apps submitted!



  • @tamalahoops Thanks for the input! Unfortunately, we did not get approved for the loan increase and decided to stand down for now. I know there will be other expenses that will pop up too and we just didn't feel like we could swing it. Maybe the next time, we'll get a match within our budget range. 

    Good luck on the Home Study!
    tamalahoops
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