Breast feeding - STM+ — The Bump
October 2018 Moms

Breast feeding - STM+

Is anyone still around?  STM+ moms: when did you know it was time to give up breast feeding?  I’m ending up going down the same road I went with DD and breast feeding is not working.  I’ve seen the Lactation consultant twice, had the nurses at the hospital helping, went to the breast feeding class.  Everyone told me that there are no physiological issues and the latch is correct, yet LO isn’t getting enough straight from the boob and I’ve pumped so I know that it’s not a supply issue.  Also my nipples are getting sore.  With DD I EPed and I just don’t think I can handle that again.  I felt like it controlled my life. But I can’t help from feeling like a failure or like if I made the sacrifice to pump for DD I should for this LO.  Trying to decide if we should just switch to formula is really destroying me.  I’ve always said that it doesn’t matter and fed is best but this is giving me so much anxiety.  

Re: Breast feeding - STM+

  • Oof. I’m here! 

    Im a stm and we moved to formula 2 weeks in with Dd for a ton of reasons. I know people stay “stick with it”, but if it makes you miserable and compromises your enjoyment and connection with your baby, I honestly feel like that’s enough of a valid reason to stop killing your self. I cried a lot when I finally “gave up” but after a week or so I realized how much of a mental load was off me. 

    We haven’t had this second kid yet, but I will try to BF... but also know when it’s ok to move on, I hope. 

    All of which to say, fed is best but also a HAPPY mama is best too. 
    KFrob
  • With DS1 we switched to formula at 4 months. I wish I’d done it sooner. We’re already giving LO formula along with BFing (he’s 2 weeks old). You have to take care of you too, mama. If BFing is stressing you too much then it may not be worth it anymore. Don’t feel guilty over it - fed is absolutely best. 
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    KFrob
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  • @HoosOnFirst thank you! Hearing you say you cried a lot but then realized after how much of a load was lifted is really helpful. 

    I know im driving myself and DH crazy over thinking it.  I was so determined for it to be easier this time.  
  • @KFrob I'm sorry it's not working. I'm camp do what you need to di. There are women that just don't bf without pain... if that's the case don't bf. I get you on the EP. Because of NICU time I'm essentially EPing - it sucks. I understand the desire to want to give your milk to your baby, however life would be SO MUCH simpler without pumping. I don't see anything wrong with switching to formula. 
    And as far as effort towards your DD vs this one - your life now is not what your life then was. You can't compare that. You need to decide what to do for where you are now. We all make plans, but those are not set in stone and it is not a failure to alter our plans to fit life. 
    Married: 01/2010
    Mirena out late 8/2015, NTNP through holidays, TTC 1/16
    BFP: 5/16 - Baby boy:1/17 He's amazing!!!
    TFAS 9/17
    BFP: 2/18 - Baby girl: 9/18 She's fabulous!!!


    KFrobHoosOnFirstmamabearcj
  • ashin121ashin121
    Ninth Anniversary 250 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
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    edited October 2018
    I bf exclusively when I was with him for 14 months and pumped while at work while he was at daycare. 
    If supply isn't an issue and it's the pain, I was told by 6 weeks, the pain should get better and it did. I was in soooo much pain until then. I'm talking milk blisters , nipple lesions (on one boob, he completely took off my skin so my nipple was white and not brown - sorry tmi). It hurt soooooo much!.  He had a good latch on one boob but not the other. I stuck with it because I heard it was worth it in the end.  So I counted down to the 6 week mark and it really did get better. In that time, I had to see multiple lactation consultant, exclusively pump on that one boob where it was raw and exclusively bf on the other that was ok for about 3 weeks. 

    To be honest, pumping exclusively was worse as far as clogged ducts, lumps, mastitis, engorgements on the boob that I exclusively pumped on vs the boob I exclusively bf on. The baby is definitely stronger than the pump so he got out everything and I didn't have problems with clogged ducts on that boob. Plus the boob adjusted to the baby while the other boob didn't and kept getting engorged. That also made me more motivated to keep trying the bfing. 

    As for supply , i was told it doesn't fully come out until like 2 weeks. I know alot of friends who gave it up after a week or two because their lo was losing weight and they didn't think they had enough. My son was losing weight so I kept trying to bf and then I'd give him formula after. The first two weeks he needed 1oz of formula after every feeding and then after two weeks, my flow increased and he was getting enough so he didn't need the formula anymore. Nursing initially took like 30 min each boob so a feeding was like an hour. Then after like 3 -4weeks , he got everything he needed from one boob in like 5 -10 mins it was crazy. He learned and my boobs learned. 


    Fed is best in the end. If you want to bf, keep trying. If it's the pain, then around 6 weeks is key where it goes away. In the end.... I hated pumping Soo much and bfing. I'd have to say though , bfing was definitely easier and better throughout the year. You just whip it out . Pumping hurts in the long run but nursing doesn't after that first 6 weeks.  I wanted to stop at 6 months because it took over my life and I was attached to the baby all the time but he had severe food allergies diagnosed at 4 months old and alot of it so I had to keep nursing . His formula that he needed was over $750 a month . 

    Do what's best for you and your sanity. I'm hoping to just do 6 months but we will see if this one has allergies too. :/ i get what hou mean about how EPing ruled your life.  my friends who went to formula were soooo carefree during our lunch or dinner dates while I was limited on time because of nursing. I had to be back to my lo every 2-3 hrs or carry a pump. At Bach parties or weddings I was pumping for a while. It was miserable. Im dreading it. Is it worth it.., who knows. The benefits is supposed to be no eczema and less allergies ... But my son had both. So idk. 






    HoosOnFirstKFrobMylittaSweetSweetTooth
  • KFrob said:
    Thanks for the support ladies! After an amazing 6 hours of sleep last night thanks to DH ( I only had one hour the night before) I regrouped and said eff it.  Why stress, today we did breast feeding, formula and pumping in combo and it worked out.  We’ll just keep going with all three unless something changes.  
    Glad you got rest! I remember it being so stressful. It's not an easy thing for anyone whom I've talked to about this. I hate when lactation consultants say... If you're in pain then you're doing it wrong. I don't know anyone who said it was pain free. 

    You're not alone. Everyone I talk with all supplement with formula in the beginning . There was an article I read written by a pediatrician who was a first time mom and had to take her newborn to ER for losing too much weight the first two weeks for "failure to thrive". She was saying she learned that fed is best but with all the pressure to just breast feed and not enough education and support for nursing moms, you feel guilty supplementing with formula and guilty for not supplying enough. She was saying all this caused her newborn to be hospitalized. It was an article to tell moms that it's ok to supplement and in the end to do what's best for you and the baby .

    :) Hope you're able to enjoy your baby! 
    KFrob
  • First, of all, there is no shame switching to part (or all) formula.

    Second, have you tried weighted feeds? They can be very informative. You’ll know how much your babe is getting compared to what she/he needs.
    mamabearcjKFrob
  • @KFrob
    Yes, do whatever works for you! We had to supplement with DS for about a week while my  milk came in more. I am curious on how this one will work but already have some bottles washed and ready. I had such angst last time but fed is best! 

    DS 12/15/13


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    KFrob
  • I tried to BF with my oldest, and it never worked. I tried for about two months before I tried pumping and a couple weeks of that before DH said to just quit. Both baby and I were sooo much happier and relaxed! I'm definitely pro- trying, but really encourage that if it doesn't work, it's really ok and best for both of you to be relaxed and happy. 
    Best of luck! 
    DS 6/6/10
    DD 3/15/12
    DD 6/3/14
    #4 Due 10/26/18!
    KFrobHoosOnFirst
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