Plus size mama check-in

chikin_mama_3

Any other ladies out there in the plus range? I’m 5’8 and a size 16. I have had such horrible experiences with drs.

I’m afraid to go because I’m worried of the judgement and ridicule. I’ve decided that I want to go with a Midwife, and have met her and feel really comfortable with her, but still, every time I go to a dr I worry that all the staff, from the front desk, to the nurse and finally the Midwife/dr are going to take one look at me and prejudge me.

That they’ll decide that I’ll most likely get gestational diabetes, or will need medical intervention.... or that I was irresponsible for getting pregnant in the first place. 

All this has added up to my not really really wanting to go to prenatal visits, although I know I have to. That being said, I’m still probably going to wait until my second trimester to do so. 

Anyone else out there feeling like this? 

navyblueladybug

I’m a plus sized mama too. I work with pregnant women and let me tell you there are more plus sized mamas in my area than normal sized. I had two patients last week in the upper 300lb range. And know what, no gestational diabetes... but the 135lb other patient I had did have it. Weight doesn’t necessarily mean you will get it. Seeing doctors can bring out your insecurities but they’re there to help you. Maybe because we work with high risk moms but I haven’t had a bad experience with a doctor in my area yet. I’m sorry you feel that way and I hope you still go to your appointments. Maybe bring it up to your OB? Clear the air in a way. That might make you feel a little more at ease ❤️

srscott3

Hey Knottie!! 

Welcome the the June BMB. I saw your intro and I’m so happy you’re joining us. Would you be able to change your screen name so that we can better identify you? Instructions on how to do so are in the “read this first” thread. 

Also, could you possibly change this to something a little more universal to our board? Maybe change the title to “Plus Size Moms Check-In”? Thank you!

I am also a plus size mom and starting at a new practice this pregnancy. Definitely worried about what my new doc will say about my weight. But honestly, I’m eating the healthiest I ever have and I’m still getting exercise in. So I’m hoping she won’t be too hard on me. 

catmommac

I am also a plus size mom. I would definitely be interested in a plus size Mom check-in.

I’ll be returning to the same practice. My OB is great. Both my OB and the practice made
me feel so at ease and informed during my last pregnancy. They did mention my weight but just gave me a goal to aim to not gain more than x pounds last time.

I usually avoid doctors for the same reasons of being overweight. But I’ve finally found some good ones who are encouraging and helpful. I try to exercise and eat well as it fits into my life.

chikin_mama_3

I’m so bad with technology, but I think I fixed the issues. 

spacepiraterunner

I'm also on the plus sized team! I'm super active and eat really healthy most of the time, but my BMI will never be below the overweight category. My OBGYN is awesome about it, and just said to try to avoid gaining weight in the first trimester. My PCP on the other hand, guilts me about my weight no matter what I go see him for. Probably time for me to change doctors! But definitely don't avoid your prenatal appts--I feel like in my health history, my OBGYNs have been the coolest about the weight.

dntstpbelieveing

I am a plus sized mom! I am pretty much the same size I was with my first, about 6' and I generally wear a 2xl. With my first I did not have GD and I gave birth vaginally. I lost 20 lbs my first trimester because of awful morning sickness. I gained that back but nothing else during my pregnancy. I think my pregnancy actually went pretty smoothly because my body is used to carrying around the extra weight. I was disappointed that it took me FOREVER to show but that happens. My new provider has been nothing but supportive! My pcp on the other hand wanted me to loose 100 lbs this year (guess that is not happening!). 

wiseh

I’m a plus size and even though I’ve been eating less and trying to stay as active as my fatigue and pain (I’ve got a large cyst on my ovary) will allow, I’ve put on 10kg so far and I’m only just over 5 weeks 😭 

Bridgetdarling

I’m currently pregnant with my second and am overweight. I wanted to lose weight before #2 but I got pregnant right away and derailed that idea. Anyway, recently moved to Florida and had to choose a new dr. They asked me a million questions about my health which I don’t have any diseases or issues and had a healthy pregnancy before but they were really pushing are you sure about your height and weight!?!?! Like I was lying. Technically, I’m not over the threshold for my BMI but I’m close. But if I was a few lbs more, they’d label me high risk and they wouldn’t take me. I’ve talked to them twice and both times I’ve gotten off the phone and just cried and cried (pregnancy hormones aren’t helping me). I never felt this way at my other doctor. It just makes me so sad and stressed. I’m trying to find a different one but insurance stuff is so complicated. It never even crossed my mind that a doctor would refuse to help me because of my BMI. I know I’m overweight but I don’t feel unhealthy. Anyone else experience something like that?

chikin_mama_3

@Bridgetdarling I haven’t had some quite that extreme this time around, but I have dealt with that in the past, and those two times are what fuel my fear with all doctors. I am so sorry you’ve been treated this way, and I sincerely hope that you’re able to find a good caring Dr that suits you. I just cannot stand how freaking insensitive they can be. We’re people too! 

notsoblissylissy

Lurking from May ‘19

@Bridgetdarling wow. Can you find a different practice? They seem like they will be giving you issues your whole pregnancy! My OB never gave me any issues with my weight, and I really appreciated that about her. I don’t think I would be able to stick it out with a practice that was so blatant with it.

@chikin_mama_3 I know a lot of times Drs only focus on your weight, but you really should go in the first tri. If there are any potential issues, if is best for them to be on top of it at the start. 

chikin_mama_3

Well, I did finally make my appointment, but it turns out the earliest the can get me is November 6th, lol, and I did make it a few weeks ago. My Midwife likes to do an ultrasound at first appointment to get a more accurate EDD and they were all booked. I’m hoping that doesn’t mean a million other mamas are gonna pop the same day I do 😂

alemarie1

Hi, 
Just got my BFP and plus size. I'm a little in shock because I have 8 month old and I wasn't expecting to get pregnant right away because I have a lot of weight to to lose from prior pregnancy. I was on a roll of losing weight. Anyway, I gained 50 with my last pregnancy and totally healthy baby. I hated being judged because I was over weight when I'm perfectly healthy. 

chikin_mama_3

Well I am happy you’re here, and will be supporting all of you the whole way through. 

wiseh

I had an appointment with my OB last week and he never mentioned my weight, but when I asked him about it he said that if I didn’t gain any weight or even lost a couple of lbs during my pregnancy that the baby wouldn’t starve, but he wouldn’t want to see me lose a heap of weight. What he doesn’t want to see me do is put on more than 10lbs. I’m 222lb and 5”10’ 

chikin_mama_3

@wiseh only 10? Goodness.... I started out at 237 and am now 217 (thanks extreme morning sickness) and am 5’8.  Now I’m even more worried that they’ll fat shame me 😕 I’m so worried that they’ll have me starting at this new weight, and not believe that I lost 20. 

wiseh

@chikin_mama_3 I really think it depends on your OB. Like, mine didn’t even mention my weight at all until I brought it up. Obviously I want to work to maintain my weight because being fit when giving birth makes it so much less risky. He said he would be concerned if I got up to 265-290lbs but ideally putting on less than 10lbs should be good. I’ve not had any morning sickness and already put on 22lbs in the first 8 weeks due to bloating. 

chikin_mama_3

@wiseh oh, I know that that must be miserable though. Being that bloated, I would complain so much, I just know it. How’re you handling it? 

wiseh

@chikin_mama_3 before I knew I was pregnant I thought i was just getting fat so I ordered larger pants at work. When I get home I just live in tracksuit pants, leggings and shorts. I’m going to go out soon and buy one of those button extenders cause my legs still fit into my jeans, they just need to be slightly bigger at the button haha. I’m just waiting for this 1st trimester fatigue to bugger off so I can get back to the gym instead of sleeping all the time! 

antera23

Hey!! So glad to see this thread exists! I currently weigh the most I ever have in my life! I totally understand your fears. Some doctors are not sensitive at all and shame you for your weight. Just know that you are not alone. Lots of “overweight” women have babies. I will be one of them!

Im a little worried about my diet during the 1st trimester because I’m not interested in food at all. I just want my baby to be healthy and get all the nutrients it needs. I forgot to ask if the prenatal vitamin covers everything the baby needs. I assume so? 

wiseh

@antera23 obviously I’m not a doctor but my gyno says as long as you’re eating a healthy diet that you don’t really need a pregnancy multivitamin. He thinks they’re a rort for pregnant women. My OB also told me the only babies he’s seen starve are those of people who’ve just gad gastric band surgery and in the dramatic weight loss phase still. 

chikin_mama_3

Yeah, babies are little parasites 😂 they take everything from Mom, and you get whatever might be left over, lol. I will say, be sure to get enough calcium. If you aren’t getting enough, it’ll get taken from your teeth! Pregnant women get cavities all the time because of this. 

Also, going to post new weekly thread thing. I’m so bad about them, I’m sorry y’all. 

Dcwtada

Please @wiseh don’t say starve. The term is growth restricted or failure to thrive and it is not always due to maternal nutrition but the ability of the placenta and umbilical cord as well as many factors. I am not PC by any terms but having dealt with this and knowing people I love that have, seeing the word “starve” is a kick in the stomach. 

srscott3

I think I have an UO here. I’m all about taking prenatals. I don’t even care if I have to spend extra money. I guess I just worry that my diet won’t have enough of one thing or another. Also, in the beginning when neural tube development is so critical, I want to make sure there’s enough of everything in there. 

pigglesworth

Hi ladies, can I sit with you? FTM, 5’3” size 20/22. I was following weight watchers prior to conception (which was a big surprise - conception, not WW 😜) My gynecologist loves that I’m trying to be in control of my weight gain and has encouraged me to stay on program, waiting to get transferred to an OB and hoping they share that sentiment. 

I know at 6w 5d LO is the size of a chocolate chip, but having this big ole belly already, I catch myself rubbing it as if it were a baby bump, anyone else? lol 

antera23

@srscott3 I don’t think you have an unpopular opinion at all. 

antera23

@wiseh I am definitely not eating a healthy diet right now, lol. Prenatals all the way! 

@chikin_mama_3 I’m glad to know my baby will be ok and take everything from me! It can have it! 

elliecele17

@pigglesworth I rub my tummy all the time & I love when my husband does.  I know my uterus is still deep behind my pelvic bone but who cares.  It feels nice & positive energy & touch is healthy for everyone!!! 

chikin_mama_3

Positive energy all the way! And I wish I could take my prenatals 😕 I’ve been just so damn sick I can’t stomach them. I keep trying though. 

canuckbaby

@pigglesworth i havent been rubbing mine but i hold mine while i sleep lol. I am 5'4" and about 210 lbs pre pregnancy. My GP never said much about weight gain and my first OB appt isnt until mid December so guess we will see what happens between now and then. I have been taking prenatal vitamins and have actually been eating breakfast before work as much as possible. Not sure how much I have gained but feeling like I am showing - 9 weeks 1 day. Bought a pair of pregnancy pants and a couple tops on weekend. Hoping the fact I am already a bit bigger will deter suspicion at work. The boss already knows (along with family) and we have a plan around 11 weeks to tell everyone else.

wiseh

I’m so sorry @Dcwtada, I had no idea those things could happen. I guess my OB meant it in my particular scenario where I voiced my concern about weight loss during pregnancy so he used those words. Again I’m so sorry! 

Dcwtada

@wiseh I really appreciate it and I knew you weren’t trying to be mean. I almost didn’t say anything because it’s not a common trigger and I don’t want to be that person making demands of what is said. The one story I can tell you is my last pregnancy had this due to my placenta/pre-e/HELLP and then after he was born had failure to thrive to the point he was hospitalized for quite some time at 2 months old weighing only 5 pounds (born at 5lbs 13oz). He was force fed and on a feeding tube for weeks while we figured out why even with being forced fed he was losing weight and was wasting away in front of our eyes. Luckily we had a great children’s hospital and with surgery and lots of work he is a healthy 16 month old (albeit still on the tiny side). That word almost broke me. I am not sure I could read again. 

I wasnt trying to be picky or rude I promise. 

antera23

Thank you for sharing your story @Dcwtada