Mine is that my HR benefits rep will not get back to my email or call! I am trying to figure out my exacts for leave, and I need some guidance. Plus NY state may be changing their family leave policy, and I would like to know how it will affect my time. But i can't get ahold of this guy! Ugh, every time I have to interact with him, it's torture.
Let me preface this by saying that I feel like I bitch about my family a lot, so I am sorry if you are sick of hearing it! But, seriously they are insane! I found out this weekend that my mom and 17 year old sister are mad at me because I’m not going up to see them for Thanksgiving.. First of all, my husband is going to be on call that week, so he wouldn’t be able to go. Second of all, I’ll be 35 weeks pregnant and probably won’t want to be in the car for over 5 hours round trip by myself with a 2.5 year old. Third of all, do you really think throwing a fit and ignoring me over 2 months before the holiday even occurs is a healthy way to handle it?
I'm sorry @morgantu that must be so frustrating since it's kind of important information! Can you ask your boss for any tips to get in touch?
@katy0990 I am not going anywhere for Thanksgiving either and refuse to let family make me feel guilty about it! Do what's best for you and try not to let it bother you (easier said than done, I know.)
AFM, I did finally come down with the stomach flu my DD and husband got and HOLY COW it was the worst stomach flu I've ever had. I'm still home today recovering but last night between 6-11 I threw up NINE times. It was horrific. I was worried I'd have to go to the hospital because I couldn't keep even sips of water down, but finally around 2 I was able to drink a half glass and I've had another two glasses and two saltines this morning, so I think I'm ok. But what a frickin nightmare. Would not wish this bug on my worst enemy.
@katy0990 My daughter is feeling great today and trying out going back to school. My husband is back at work but only because it's an important day, he's still under the weather with not much energy or appetite. But hopefully we'll all feel ok tomorrow!
@maureenmce omg, that's horrible!! You deserve a huge break lady, you've had it rough. I hope you get to feeling 100% quickly!
@katy0990 oh hell nah! That's so immature, first of all. You're doing the right thing because that sounds like a horrible time trying to go over Thanksgiving, even giving if you were having the best feeling, fun, energetic pregnancy ever.
Small BF: SIL (the one I don't reeeeally like who left a 2 week old pee soaked outfit inside our front door) moved her son's baptism back and now I'll be 36 weeks and likely too huge to wear the adorable bodycon type of dress I ordered for it. And they asked us to be Godparents so I have to try to look ok for it. Meh.
@katy0990@maureenmce if he doesn't get back to me by tomorrow, I'm just going to forward all of the emails i've sent to his supervisor.
Sorry to hear about you mom and sister @katy0990. sometimes it seems ridiculously hard for people who aren't pg to understand the toll it would take to make that trip. And the way they are handling it definitely isn't helpful.
Geesh, @maureenmce, i'm glad your family is finally on the mend but so sorry that your weekend/day was taken up by everyone feeling so yucky!
@temmetime i'm sure you'll look awesome, plus you'll have a good excuse if you need to leave early, are less enthusiastic, etc!
@morgantu Sorry this guy won't get back to you. NYS is changing their family leave stuff? Good to know! I will need to do some research. Also, I literally snorted when I watched/read your comic gif! #thisisbananas! @katy0990 I hate when family has unreasonable expectations, and when they react that way when you don't/won't meet them. I hope they come around and stop ignoring you and give you the support you need right now! Maybe they should drive to you on Friday or something and bring lots of yummy leftovers (both to eat and to help stock your freezer!) @maureenmce I feel like you've had the pregnancy from Hell! I'm sorry you're sick but glad to hear your daughter is doing better. FX it clears up for everyone in your family and things get back to normal soon!
Me: 33, DH: 41 Started IF Feb. 2014 PCOS & MFI (low sperm count and motility) 3 Femara cycles w/natural intercourse over summer 2014, BFN 1 Clomid cycle w/natural intercourse Nov. 2014, BFN IUI March 2015, BFN IUI June 2015, BFN IUI Oct. 2015, BFN IVF Oct. 2016, fresh transfer, 2 day-3 embryos, BFN; nothing to freeze IVF Nov. 2017, fresh transfer, 2 day-5 blasts, BFP; ectopic; 1 blast frozen FET March 2018, 1 day-5 blast, BFP!
@mag1cbeli3ver from what i understand (it's not published yet, so that's another frustrating point), is that in 2019 the benefit is going to go to 10 weeks at 65% pay (from 8 weeks at 50%). My question to HR is if this happens, how will it affect me; i will be giving birth in 2018 but using the benefit in 2019....soooooooo..... But like I said, it's not even announced through the state yet, so hard to tell when/if that will happen. Andplusalso i keep watching that gif cause it cracks me up lol
My mother in law has reached a point where she won't have a conversation with me unless her hand is on my stomach...like a translation device. I really don't like being touched and especially not for that long...
@rcultrona Omg, I'd be shutting that down SOOOO quickly. I'm okay with very close friends touching my belly for just a moment. But it can't be someone I'm not super close with and not more than 3 seconds without me inviting them if baby is kicking... I wouldn't be okay with my mom or my mother in law touching my belly in anyways unless I invited it. (And I'm super close to my mom!)
@rcultrona I shut that down quickly from the very beginning. I am not opposed to having someone touch my belly if the baby starts kicking and I ASK them if they wanted to feel it. For the record, that hasn't happened yet, but I've decided that it would be okay, because it would be at my invitation. However, when people started touching my belly at like 10 weeks I right away said that wasn't okay, so nobody has tried since.
@katy0990 a 5 hour trip that pregnant would not be fun. I don’t blame you! Hopefully they stop being jerks about it.
@rcultrona LOL’d at the “translation device” comparison. I can’t imagine the awkwardness of having someone put their hand on there and HOLD IT for an entire conversation. No thank you
AFM, I had my 1hr glucose test today. It sucked majorly. The nurse had to prick me 50 million times because she couldn’t get my vein. I’ve felt exhausted, sick, and just overall crappy all day since then. Really hoping that’s not an indication of the test results, because I definitely don’t remember feeling this way with my first.
@ab_canada and @omnommer It honestly isn't worth it. There are so many things I shut her down on on a daily basis I walk the fine line of not being walked on a being a heinous b***h. She is the foremost authority on EVERYTHING especially babies but with a healthy dose of weird voodooism. For example, with my first she dreamed of a magic wand which meant it was going to be a girl. When we found out it was a boy she doubted the Dr "because of the way I was carrying" and "ALL people who carry like that have girls". It's a lot of sweeping generalizations that have no basis in science or fact...She also assumes that all pregnancies are exactly like hers so when I say my back hurts she says. "really? I never had any back pain with my babies". Well, f***ing good for you!!!
@katy0990 so a five hour trip in 3rd trimester turns into a 7+ hour trip with pee breaks every hour for you, and hauling a toddler out for every one of those breaks. Sorry you are dealing with more family drama. Good for on sticking to healthy boundaries re: what works for you.
Thank you everyone for the support! It is just so frustrating that I feel like they constantly look for reasons to be upset with me. I mean, come on, Thanksgiving is 2 months away!
@katy0990 I'm not sure I'd even go not being pregnant! 5 hour ride is a long time, with a toddler. I'm not doing anything for christmas (potentially) and my in laws live 6 minutes down the road and my mother lives 30 minutes away. If they really were worried about not being able to see you, they'd come to you. #BoycotThanksgiving
@Jens_Hoes Unfortunately, my mom cannot come to me. It is a very long story, but my parents have been back in court over their ten year old divorce and she is currently been dodging being served paperwork and may have a warrant for her arrest in the county I live in because that is where the divorce was initially filed. It’s a complete $h!t show.
@katy0990 honey do what's best for YOU. My family is cray cray but they've already been informed I'm not going anywhere for thanksgiving or Christmas. My due date is 18th so i could potentially still be pregnant Christmas day, and even if I'm not, im not traveling a week after birth. And my doc says no traveling more than a hour away after 32 weeks, SO thanksgiving is a no go. Also my closest family is 3 hours away, the rest are 7+hours away in sc. The inlaws are in nj. So no traveling for me, see ya next year lol. Some people are so selfish.
I have to fire 2 people. I have been putting it off a long time because I feel so bad about it. I know people need jobs and paychecks but they are completely incompetent and making my job so so much harder. It is just really hard for me to do.
@katy0990@morgantu Thank you so much. I need to make sure I have some other things in place for when they leave so I think I need to wait another week or two.
Okay, here it is for real. So last night FIL dropped off a gift from MIL: On Becoming Babywise, books 1 and 2 (who knew there were even 2 parts?) Aside from all the controversy surrounding the books -- which you can Google yourself if you're curious/don't know about it -- THIS IS MY SECOND CHILD. Is MIL trying to say I screwed up my son so badly that I need to try to do better with #2? I mean sure he's never been an awesome napper but he sleeps really well at night! Goodness.
The actual fact is that they've taught the Ezzo's parenting class, Growing Kids God's Way, for years and years, so they're very Ezzo positive. I've actually been secretly wanting to pick up/skim Babywise just to see what all the fuss is about, so, now at least I can.
Other bitches today include, but are not limited to:
-- The fact that my son has decided that sleeping in the pack n play is no longer bueno. -- The fact that my son won't nap in the car for longer than 25 minutes, meaning that he is extra sleep deprived on top of his effed-up sleep from last night (he was between H and I from 11 until he woke up) -- Single people on airplanes who make a point of shuffling around after takeoff so they can have an extra seat next to them "to stretch their legs" when there is a CLEARLY STRUGGLING VERY PREGNANT WOMAN WITH A LAP TODDLER right there across the aisle. (I know, I'm not entitled to anything. It just really sucks.) -- The car seats that rental cars rent out. So so so frustrating. For $65 you get a truly shitty seat that weighs approx. 3 pounds. I asked for a rear-facing toddler seat and they gave me an infant seat? I guess? (This, after trying to give me a booster seat. Actually after me having to request the seat that I paid for.) The seat has a weight limit of 22 lbs and height up to 19 inches (both of which my son exceeds), which I have to somehow figure out how to install myself. I am 100% positive that if I get into an accident my child is going to fly out and be killed because that's how crappy this thing is, and it just makes me feel like the worst person in the world. That's the point where I finally broke down.
Anyway. Like I said, it's been a day. I'm not confident that my son will sleep tonight, so I might just go to bed super duper early to offset the sleep I'll be losing MOTN. Sigh.
Me: 31 | DH: 31
Together since 2003 | Married 2010 TTC #1 January 2016 BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016 Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018 BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
So sorry about your poop day @PensiveCrayon. Hopefully things will turn in your favor. Try to ignore your inlaws. I know its never fun to feel judged by your inlaws, especially when it comes to how you parent. Also wtf car rental place, get your s*** together. Unfortunantly thats the reason my husband and I fly with our sons carseat, it's free to fly them. But its def a hassle lugging it around until it's checked.
@PensiveCrayon I'm so sorry about your bad luck day Any chance MIL knew you secretly wanted to skim the books to understand the controversy, and didn't get them for you as a jab at your inadequate (lol!) parenting????
@scaredunprepared Ha! I’ll just tell myself that I actually have been meaning to look at Toddlerwise/some of their books for older kids as well, because I do believe the parenting classes are a good foundation for setting boundaries with wee ones (minus the corporal punishment but even that they say depends on your preference level, I believe, and is strictly to be done when not angry in the heat of the moment) but since they’re all videos it’s not easy to refer to them when I have a random question like “how should I be disciplining my 20-month-old?”
Re: car seat rentals, unfortunately I’ve found this to be true across the board — this is the third rental I’ve done and with all three I’ve been pretty certain I’ve been putting my son in peril. Sigh. Guess it will make me a more attentive driver.
@lavenderlisa I’ve actually flown with the car seat a couple times. Definitely preferable, but essentially impossible to manage (along with allllll the other kid crap) when traveling alone Thankfully my in-laws have a car seat AND a crib (yes, MIL is a bit extra but now I’m realizing just how wonderful it is in this case!) so the trip to KC in October will be so much easier. Also their house is gorgeous and stuff-free.
Me: 31 | DH: 31
Together since 2003 | Married 2010 TTC #1 January 2016 BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016 Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018 BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
@PensiveCrayon ugh. That’s super terrible. I would be pissed about the seat on the airplane and the car seat. Idk about those books so I don’t understand why they’re offensive lol sending super sleepy vibes to your son
Re: Bitchfiesta w/o 9/17
But, seriously they are insane! I found out this weekend that my mom and 17 year old sister are mad at me because I’m not going up to see them for Thanksgiving.. First of all, my husband is going to be on call that week, so he wouldn’t be able to go. Second of all, I’ll be 35 weeks pregnant and probably won’t want to be in the car for over 5 hours round trip by myself with a 2.5 year old. Third of all, do you really think throwing a fit and ignoring me over 2 months before the holiday even occurs is a healthy way to handle it?
@katy0990 I am not going anywhere for Thanksgiving either and refuse to let family make me feel guilty about it! Do what's best for you and try not to let it bother you (easier said than done, I know.)
AFM, I did finally come down with the stomach flu my DD and husband got and HOLY COW it was the worst stomach flu I've ever had. I'm still home today recovering but last night between 6-11 I threw up NINE times. It was horrific. I was worried I'd have to go to the hospital because I couldn't keep even sips of water down, but finally around 2 I was able to drink a half glass and I've had another two glasses and two saltines this morning, so I think I'm ok. But what a frickin nightmare. Would not wish this bug on my worst enemy.
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
Thanks @PensiveCrayon !
@katy0990 oh hell nah! That's so immature, first of all. You're doing the right thing because that sounds like a horrible time trying to go over Thanksgiving, even giving if you were having the best feeling, fun, energetic pregnancy ever.
Small BF: SIL (the one I don't reeeeally like who left a 2 week old pee soaked outfit inside our front door) moved her son's baptism back and now I'll be 36 weeks and likely too huge to wear the adorable bodycon type of dress I ordered for it. And they asked us to be Godparents so I have to try to look ok for it. Meh.
DS: 12/20/16
EDD: 11/29/18
@katy0990 I’m so sorry! It’s so hard having unsupportive and petty family. They are being absolutely ridiculous.
@maureenmce oh no! I hope you feel better ASAP!
@temmetime that’s so irritating! I bet you’ll look amazing!
Sorry to hear about you mom and sister @katy0990. sometimes it seems ridiculously hard for people who aren't pg to understand the toll it would take to make that trip. And the way they are handling it definitely isn't helpful.
Geesh, @maureenmce, i'm glad your family is finally on the mend but so sorry that your weekend/day was taken up by everyone feeling so yucky!
@temmetime i'm sure you'll look awesome, plus you'll have a good excuse if you need to leave early, are less enthusiastic, etc!
@katy0990 I hate when family has unreasonable expectations, and when they react that way when you don't/won't meet them. I hope they come around and stop ignoring you and give you the support you need right now! Maybe they should drive to you on Friday or something and bring lots of yummy leftovers (both to eat and to help stock your freezer!)
@maureenmce I feel like you've had the pregnancy from Hell! I'm sorry you're sick but glad to hear your daughter is doing better. FX it clears up for everyone in your family and things get back to normal soon!
Started IF Feb. 2014
PCOS & MFI (low sperm count and motility)
3 Femara cycles w/natural intercourse over summer 2014, BFN
1 Clomid cycle w/natural intercourse Nov. 2014, BFN
IUI March 2015, BFN
IUI June 2015, BFN
IUI Oct. 2015, BFN
IVF Oct. 2016, fresh transfer, 2 day-3 embryos, BFN; nothing to freeze
IVF Nov. 2017, fresh transfer, 2 day-5 blasts, BFP; ectopic; 1 blast frozen
FET March 2018, 1 day-5 blast, BFP!
Andplusalso i keep watching that gif cause it cracks me up lol
@rcultrona LOL’d at the “translation device” comparison. I can’t imagine the awkwardness of having someone put their hand on there and HOLD IT for an entire conversation. No thank you
AFM, I had my 1hr glucose test today. It sucked majorly. The nurse had to prick me 50 million times because she couldn’t get my vein. I’ve felt exhausted, sick, and just overall crappy all day since then. Really hoping that’s not an indication of the test results, because I definitely don’t remember feeling this way with my first.
I've been lucky enough to avoid any belly touching. MH and my midwives have been the only ones so far.
I have absolutely no motivation or energy today.
If they really were worried about not being able to see you, they'd come to you. #BoycotThanksgiving
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
@lexidawg ick, that has to be hard. But i'm sure it's not really out of the blue- it will be better for everyone to have the conversation. good luck!
The actual fact is that they've taught the Ezzo's parenting class, Growing Kids God's Way, for years and years, so they're very Ezzo positive. I've actually been secretly wanting to pick up/skim Babywise just to see what all the fuss is about, so, now at least I can.
Other bitches today include, but are not limited to:
-- The fact that my son has decided that sleeping in the pack n play is no longer bueno.
-- The fact that my son won't nap in the car for longer than 25 minutes, meaning that he is extra sleep deprived on top of his effed-up sleep from last night (he was between H and I from 11 until he woke up)
-- Single people on airplanes who make a point of shuffling around after takeoff so they can have an extra seat next to them "to stretch their legs" when there is a CLEARLY STRUGGLING VERY PREGNANT WOMAN WITH A LAP TODDLER right there across the aisle. (I know, I'm not entitled to anything. It just really sucks.)
-- The car seats that rental cars rent out. So so so frustrating. For $65 you get a truly shitty seat that weighs approx. 3 pounds. I asked for a rear-facing toddler seat and they gave me an infant seat? I guess? (This, after trying to give me a booster seat. Actually after me having to request the seat that I paid for.) The seat has a weight limit of 22 lbs and height up to 19 inches (both of which my son exceeds), which I have to somehow figure out how to install myself. I am 100% positive that if I get into an accident my child is going to fly out and be killed because that's how crappy this thing is, and it just makes me feel like the worst person in the world. That's the point where I finally broke down.
Anyway. Like I said, it's been a day. I'm not confident that my son will sleep tonight, so I might just go to bed super duper early to offset the sleep I'll be losing MOTN. Sigh.
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
Re: car seat rentals, unfortunately I’ve found this to be true across the board — this is the third rental I’ve done and with all three I’ve been pretty certain I’ve been putting my son in peril. Sigh. Guess it will make me a more attentive driver.
@lavenderlisa I’ve actually flown with the car seat a couple times. Definitely preferable, but essentially impossible to manage (along with allllll the other kid crap) when traveling alone
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018