NICU

hkom

We already have 2 NICU moms here and may have some more on the way.  This thread is the place for all things NICU - questions, concerns, advice, complaints, and updates on how your NICU baby is doing!

katy0990

@hkom How are you and John doing today?

hkom

John is still doing well today! One of the nurses said people were doubting his age since he is so big and doing so well.  He's under the blue jaundice light, but he's right at the threshold so hopefully he won't have to do that too long.

He is basically on room level oxygen right now and the CPAP is only to keep his lungs at the right pressure.  The respiratory therapists are going to try to take him off the CPAP tomorrow to see how he does, as long as he doesn't have any issues until then. His only problems with that so far have been him reaching up and literally yanking the mask off his face. 

We got to see him without the mask for a little while today and he was able to open his eyes. He's adorable and fuzzy. 

I've gotten to hold him twice today and am headed down in a little while to hold him again. He curls right up against my chest and relaxes.  He smells wonderful 

I am super tired. Between recovering, running back and forth to the NICU (I'm grateful for the security and sterility, but holy crap it is a process when you have to go over there multiple times per day) and pumping / hand expressing desperately trying to get my milk to come in (still only getting drops each time) I am just wiped already. I cannot imagine doing this after a c section or a bad tear. 

I'm also a weepy mess most of the time. I cried on and off pretty much all day yesterday. Today was a little better.  It's such a strange mix of emotions - being sad he isn't still where he is supposed to be and seeing him so tiny and exposed, but also so so SO relieved to be done with that whole ordeal.  Watching him squirm and whimper in the incubator without being able to pick him up whenever I want is the most heartbreaking thing I've ever experienced. 

After almost 5 weeks of wanting so terribly to go home, I'm very nervous about leaving tomorrow. I know everything is going to be fine, but the thought of leaving him here is going to be so hard. 

orangecrush29

Hugs, momma! I remember all of those emotions all too well. You'll become a professional surgical hand scrubber in no time- I made everyone do a 3 min scrub before touching my oldest after he came home, lol! Kangaroo care will be your best friend, It's some of my favorite NICU memories. Try not to stress about your milk coming in, it'll come, it just takes a few days.. for new mom's, sometimes even longer! Just keep pumping every few hours. 

Leaving the hospital will be tough, but it's just temporary! Try your best to take care of you- it's so easy to fall in to a PPD slump, ESPECIALLY after having a preemie. 

Can't wait to see pics of him, I'm sure he's so precious! I can't believe he's 3lbs already- that's how much my 31 weeker was! Way to go!!

maureenmce

Big hugs @hkom - you are a supermom already. You've been through so much and I'm so happy John is so big for his age and doing well. Hope you can get some rest here and there and that John's NICU stay is as brief as it can be. ❤️

zoepac

@hkom big hugs! The NICU is exhausting! I was fortunate (unfortunate) enough to have major complications that left me also hospitalized for 3 weeks. It was nice to be close to my son but I felt so awful much of the time that I was always exhausted. The blue lights are frustrating because at least for us they limited our holding and cuddle time (my son wasn't at the threshold though and was under the lights on and off for a couple weeks). Also give yourself some time to process and heal. Everything happens at such a pace and you are so focused on your child make sure to take some time for yourself. Especially in the next few weeks as you go back and forth to the NICU. I work in healthcare and really thought I was fine... my son was over a year old and I had a computer class that just happened to be held in a conference room of a birthing floor. I had a full blown panic attack- the breastfeeding posters set it off- so please take some extra time for you! Also, find the NICUs mom support group and don't be afraid to call at 3am just to see how's he's doing. I started calling every time I woke up to pump and it made me feel slightly better just to know a middle of the night update! 

kirstey728

@hkom sounds like you've got a strong baby! I'm happy to hear that hes doing well. Thinking of you in this time! Hugs

katy0990

@hkom I’m glad he is doing so well! I hope you continue to take care of yourself! You have been so strong through this whole process and deserve some grace. Your milk will come in soon. Please keep us posted.

countrygirl624

@hkom Congrats Momma!!! I missed him being born (so many threads, hard to keep up) but am so happy to hear he’s doing well as are you!! Good friends of mine had their first born at 28 weeks and she’s almost 2 now and doing great! No complications after leaving the hospital. I know it’s tough but you have all of us and your fam and friends supporting you!!! 

mamajudec2018

@hkom I'm glad he is doing so well. That is wonderful news.
I can't imagine the emotions you are going through. I am praying for little John and for you.

Katzalia

@hkom thinking of you and baby John. How did he do on the trial without the CPAP? 

The exhausting frustration of pumping and hand-expressing trying to get your milk to come in — so so hard. It’s not just how frequently you have to do it, but that it involves your own body and triggers all kinds of hormonal reactions as well as desperation to feed your baby, so you are impacted in a very visceral way. No unsolicited advice here, just validation on the struggle and hugs to you. Be kind to yourself. ❤️

ScootsMcG

@hkom Congratulations on your little guy!  Happy to hear that it sounds like you both are doing well.  I can only imagine how tough it would be to have to leave the hospital...I hope this very temporary separation goes quickly and you'll soon have all the time you want to make up those snuggles:).

Jens_Hoes

@hkom I can’t speak to how your milk will come in with having a premie- I don’t know how differently it is than normal. But when I was having a tough time with pumping while at work I was told to watch videos of DD crying because it helps with the letdown. Not sure if that will help in the beginning but it might me beneficial once your milk does come in. Breastfeeding/pumping can be very stressful so be kind to yourself. 

Jens_Hoes

After posting about our first December BMB birth in my previous BMB I was given these resources, and I don’t know how helpful they are but I figured I’d share:

-There’s a great NICU support group on FB Preemie and NICU Family Support and Guidance if she’s interested.

-Also I recommend https://smile.amazon.com/Our-NICU-Journey-Activities-Intensive/dp/0999084011/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1536876483&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=every+tiny+thing+nicu+journal&dpPl=1&dpID=41Hlx-Tkk4L&ref=plSrch this NICU journal to everyone who has a preemie.

-March of Dimes has a cool new app for parents in the NICU too. 

My NICU Baby™ by MARCH OF DIMES FOUNDATIONhttps://itunes.apple.com/us/app/my-nicu-baby/id1337141095?mt=8

AdorkablePixie

@hkom You're amazing!! I'm glad to hear John is doing so well and that he was so big for his age! I don't really have any advice but just wanted to let you know I'm here for support.

rosebud332

@hkom Thinking of you today! I can’t imagine how hard it is to leave your little guy at the hospital and not be able to be with him every moment even though it’s the best place for him. Just hoping you’re both doing well today. Hugs!!!

mcgeeva

Congrats to both you ladies on your strong little fighters

temmetime

Thinking of you & saying a few prayers for you @hkom! You're doing a fantastic job, good luck today. Thanks for taking the time to update us!

Activebaby

@hkom I’m glad to hear John is so strong. It broke my heart to read how hard it is not to be able to pick him up whenever you feel like he needs you. I’m just so glad he is doing well!! Hang in there! You are amazing! 

hkom

Thank you guys for the encouragement    I did a lot better last night than I expected to. Still a good amount of tears though.  Pumping is getting better too. 

He's doing well today.  He has his CPAP mask back on, but he got lots of good practice yesterday without it!  

mamajudec2018

@hkom that's great news Mama. I'm glad you are hanging in there. Do you get to see him all day if you want?

lavenderlisa

Oh my goodness @hkom congratulations! I'm sorry, I've been gone a few days so im just seeing that you're little one has arrived. I'm glad you both are doing so well! And echoing everyone else, you sound like an amazing mother all ready. Let yourself heal, tears regarding your little one are a normal part of motherhood, and your milk will come in eventually. ❤❤❤

Hollyyyyy

@hkom Congratulations! So glad to hear you are both doing well. It's great to hear that John was able to get some time without the CPAP yesterday. I hope you both continue to thrive- I can't imagine how difficult it must be to have to leave him, but you are so strong. You got this!

hkom

@mamajudec2018 No visitation limits for parents!  I can stay here all day and can even sleep here overnight if I really want to. 

katy0990

@hkom That is great that they don’t limit your visiting hours!

hkom

@katy0990 it's awesome!  The only thing that's limited right now is how much I can a hold him because he needs to be under his blue light.  Which is sooo annoying. I was there for 6 hours today but only got to hold him for an hour because of how they space it out.  Hopefully he gets off the light soon so I can get lots of cuddles in without having to stay there for 10 hours a day. 

lexidawg

I am so glad John is doing so well. I'm thinking about you guys!

mamajudec2018

@hkom That is so wonderful that there aren't any limits for you guys!

rcultrona

@hkom I'm so glad for you! The light bed is the worst. With my first they had the bed brought in my room and half the nurses told me not to take him out no matter what and the other half came in to yell at me to pick him up because he was crying. Of course he's crying, he sipped into a creepy hard light bed. So frustrating!!

Fruitcove7

@hkom congrats!! I’ve been away since last week and just got on. I’m so glad you and baby John are doing well! ❤️❤️❤️

whit789

@hkom congratulations! welcome earthside baby John!  Thinking about you guys and hoping you get unlimited baby snuggles soon.

scaredunprepared

@hkom happy to read your updates!  Glad John is doing well, and that you're managing to figure out this parenting thing (to a preemie, no less!). Keep doing what you're doing, you got this!

shevsky

@hkom I missed so much this weekend!! CONGRATULATIONS to you and baby John!! So happy for you and your family. I'm glad everyone is generally healthy. 

orangecrush29

@hkom how are you and baby John doing??

hkom

We're still doing good!  John is the sweetest, calmest little baby so far.  He's just working on growing and breathing right now.  He's had a few good trials off his CPAP but hasn't quite shaken it for good yet.  

I'm doing ok.  I had a bit of a breakdown last night making dinner but I feel much better today.  I'm sure I'll have plenty more but hopefully they get fewer and farther between. 

See spoiler for some pics of the little guy from Sunday/Monday. 

omnommer

@hkom Aw, look at that little sweetie! How big is he now? I was just thinking about you this morning and was going to check in! Definitely keep taking care of yourself as you can. When you have those breakdowns, let them happen and then let them go. 

hkom

omnommer said:by

@hkom Aw, look at that little sweetie! How big is he now?

He's 3 lbs 3.5 oz today, so just a little above his birth weight! 

whitneyb89

@hkom Aww, he's so cute! I'm glad things are going well. :Hugs: Thinking of you as you continue your NICU journey. 

lexidawg

Awww... he is so so cute.  Hang in there momma!

morgantu

@hkom yay new John pics! Glad he's doing well! you are totally justified in meltdown. you just had a baby for goodness sakes, and then the added stress of the NICU is just the cherry on top! I fully anticipate a few meltdowns (or more) coming my way after this little bud is out in the world. 

rosebud332

@hkom He is so precious! And you are doing amazing! You’ve been so positive through all of this crazinesss. You’re one strong mama!