I totally get the reasoning behind not wanting to reveal the sex of the baby. Team Green, great. Even Team Yellow, I get...but I don't really understand the mentality of specifically wanting to tell people that you know the sex but you aren't telling. Like, I'd probably just say something like 'everyone's going to find out at the birth!' or something.
I know this is a true UO and lots of y'all are doing this, and it's not a personal indictment in any way.
@sleepy33 agree, it's like just asking people to harass you about it. For DS's name we kept telling people we had ideas but hadn't settled until he was born because I didn't want to deal. It's a lot easier to be like oh we don't know yet!
@sleepy33 I asked a question about why in the "Team Green" thread, because I felt like it seemed like a cry for attention / psycho power trip to know and lord it over your loved ones. Person who responded said it was to avoid people tendering their unborn child, and also so the couple could narrow down names beforehand.
TB used to be the snarkiest place ever and I loved it. I was in the Aug14 bmb for my first pregnancy and the snark was strong, but it in no way took away from the support I felt there. I loved that shiz and I miss it! Maybe I'm just a jerk and I liked being able to call people stupid when they were being dopes? Either way...I know a lot of people on here don't understand the snark or like it but I did!
I love a good gender reveal party (don't stone me.. I know sex does not equal gender). Show me the balloons, cake cutting, confetti bombs, whatever. I know a lot of people think they're extra and weird to celebrate an unborn baby's genitals, but I see no problem in throwing a fun party, hosting your family and friends, and sharing your excitement about your LO.
Me: 33 DH: 34 Married: Oct 2015 TTC #1: Sept 2016 BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16 BFP: 3/24/17 DD1 born 12/2/17 TTC #2: July 2018 BFP: 8/26/18 DD2 born 5/16/19
@sleepy33 I actually think your opinion lands on the popular side - or at least, that's been my experience. I was kind of surprised how many people thought it was a good idea when I mentioned it in the Team Green thread. We were team yellow for our first and when people asked, I told them I knew but we weren't sharing. I started out telling people that we didn't know but either my poker face was terrible or so few people are actually team green around here that people would push and I would cave and tell people that we know but we're not telling. For our second, I decided that I didn't want to face the lack of respect for our decision again and went team pink.
DD1: June 2014 - VBM4lyfe DD2: October 2016 DC3: coming May 2019
@peachy13 oh man, I have such strong feelings about gender reveal parties (I love them too). We probably won't have one this time but we had one with DS and it was great. Yes sex does not equal gender but it's not like when the baby is actually born people call them male/female. We call them boys/girls which are gendered. I don't think it's a big deal! What's more important is having that conversation with your kids when/if they need to and being open and accepting. Idk, I'm not going to call my baby boy my baby male, so...
But anyway, I agree. I think they're fun and exciting and I love celebrating.
@peachy13 I have to admit I love them too! I completely understand that gender doesn’t equal sex, but I love any excuse to celebrate and have a get together. We had one for my son and didn’t do a theme like “bows or bow ties”. We just opened a box with balloons and had a low country boil for everyone. It was a lot of fun seeing how excited everyone was.
I’ll be back for an UO once I think of one that hasn’t already been said..
TB used to be the snarkiest place ever and I loved it. I was in the Aug14 bmb for my first pregnancy and the snark was strong, but it in no way took away from the support I felt there. I loved that shiz and I miss it! Maybe I'm just a jerk and I liked being able to call people stupid when they were being dopes? Either way...I know a lot of people on here don't understand the snark or like it but I did!
I am here for the snark, if that were not already obvious lol. Also, I'm a creeper, but I feel like we are kind of life twins, I saw your intro post where you have an older kiddo from a previous marriage and expecting w/ a new fiance, and that's meee toooo, so hiiiii
@sleepy33 I actually think your opinion lands on the popular side - or at least, that's been my experience. I was kind of surprised how many people thought it was a good idea when I mentioned it in the Team Green thread. We were team yellow for our first and when people asked, I told them I knew but we weren't sharing. I started out telling people that we didn't know but either my poker face was terrible or so few people are actually team green around here that people would push and I would cave and tell people that we know but we're not telling. For our second, I decided that I didn't want to face the lack of respect for our decision again and went team pink.
Oh good, don't hate me, cause I know you were one of the Team Yellows and I think you're lovely, soooo... I can understand the no poker face. I probably am *too* good at telling little white lies, so that's probably my perspective on it.
TB used to be the snarkiest place ever and I loved it. I was in the Aug14 bmb for my first pregnancy and the snark was strong, but it in no way took away from the support I felt there. I loved that shiz and I miss it! Maybe I'm just a jerk and I liked being able to call people stupid when they were being dopes? Either way...I know a lot of people on here don't understand the snark or like it but I did!
I am here for the snark, if that were not already obvious lol. Also, I'm a creeper, but I feel like we are kind of life twins, I saw your intro post where you have an older kiddo from a previous marriage and expecting w/ a new fiance, and that's meee toooo, so hiiiii
@k2k2tog yes, bay area, right? I think of the 40 or so children of people on my broader team (maybe 30 parents), only one other person didn't find out with his 2 kids!! People thought I was crazy but everyone believed me when I said we weren't finding out.
My UO: I love love love breastfeeding, don't want my boobs or body back before this LO is born and hope that DD doesn't wean herself because of my pregnancy hormones. I did drop the pumping back in June and it was life changing, but when I'm with DD, breastfeeding is just so much easier IMO (and in my case)!
ETA: Oops, @k2k2tog , I got you confused with nerdyteacherlady. Sorry!! You're in Canada, I see now. My bad.
I started that while on a call and by the time I actually got around to posting, I missed more of the snark. I, personally, love reading it! Keep it up, ladies! I can be pretty snarky/sarcastic in person but definitely noticed during my last BMB that I am not on TB. I'm not sure why, wish I was, so I will live vicariously through you all unless/until I get up the courage to do it on here @keighty80@sleepy33
My UO: I love love love breastfeeding, don't want my boobs or body back before this LO is born and hope that DD doesn't wean herself because of my pregnancy hormones. I did drop the pumping back in June and it was life changing, but when I'm with DD, breastfeeding is just so much easier IMO (and in my case)!
I loved BFing too; it’s hard to explain to those that haven’t done it. Also biologically you are literally releasing feel good hormones while doing it. You carry a baby for 9 mo inside of you and have this special bond, and then it’s almost a way of continuing that bond. Also whipping out a tit is SO much easier than making a bottle and cheaper too!
@keighty80@chucksmom15@sleepy33 I miss the snark culture. It’s been pretty tame around here, TBH. I really love telling people to “suck it up, buttercup”, but it seems like people are so dang sensitive now. Andplusalso FFTC: I fear the ban hammer so I’ve been behaving myself.
@msb615 that sounds awesome. Ours for DD was pretty similar. No over the top theme of anything, just a ton of food, drinks, and cake. We hit a pinata full of pink candy which was really fun for the kids at the party. Honestly it was just a good excuse to get everyone together since hanging out with friends has slowed down a bunch now that everyone is married with kids. DD is also the first baby on my side of the family so I kind of felt like the party was more for their excitement haha.
Me: 33 DH: 34 Married: Oct 2015 TTC #1: Sept 2016 BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16 BFP: 3/24/17 DD1 born 12/2/17 TTC #2: July 2018 BFP: 8/26/18 DD2 born 5/16/19
@sleepy33 I actually think your opinion lands on the popular side - or at least, that's been my experience. I was kind of surprised how many people thought it was a good idea when I mentioned it in the Team Green thread. We were team yellow for our first and when people asked, I told them I knew but we weren't sharing. I started out telling people that we didn't know but either my poker face was terrible or so few people are actually team green around here that people would push and I would cave and tell people that we know but we're not telling. For our second, I decided that I didn't want to face the lack of respect for our decision again and went team pink.
Oh good, don't hate me, cause I know you were one of the Team Yellows and I think you're lovely, soooo... I can understand the no poker face. I probably am *too* good at telling little white lies, so that's probably my perspective on it.
Don't worry - we are totally allowed to have differing opinions about this. There are some UOs I can't handle, but this isn't one of them. And, to be honest, I was a first time mom with lots of kind of self-righteous opinions. I don't even really know how I feel about team yellow these days.
DD1: June 2014 - VBM4lyfe DD2: October 2016 DC3: coming May 2019
TB used to be the snarkiest place ever and I loved it. I was in the Aug14 bmb for my first pregnancy and the snark was strong, but it in no way took away from the support I felt there. I loved that shiz and I miss it! Maybe I'm just a jerk and I liked being able to call people stupid when they were being dopes? Either way...I know a lot of people on here don't understand the snark or like it but I did!
Yaaaasss.... I think TB does the best job of fostering community - I have yet to find another board that actually believes in organization - but I miss what TB used to be. I was scrolling through my June14 board a bit a few days ago and feeling really nostalgic. And then I got to the bit where everything blew up and just got sad. Things are so tame now.
DD1: June 2014 - VBM4lyfe DD2: October 2016 DC3: coming May 2019
@peachy13 it was the same for my parents since I’m an only child! They were so excited. Did y’all find out the same time everyone else did or before? We went to an early ultrasound, but kept it a secret until the “reveal”! It’s killkng me already not telling people about baby #2. Haha
@bluesky24 Clearly I’ve been out of the game too long too because I hadn’t heard of team yellow either until now..
This is probably more of a FFFC but my original due date was in April. That BMB was boring. Zero snark. I’m secretly excited I got moved to May bc you guys seem like my people. Yay for late ovulation!
Apparently a UO, don’t hate me! - I don’t mind a little snark but it can get excessive and unnecessary at times. Idk, people can be mean enough in real life, I don’t need that on the internet and sometimes it makes me cringe, even if I’m not the recipient. My Nov17 BMB was a great mix of kind but would put you in your place if necessary. Snark where snark is due is great. I just hate when it gets...mean!
Now, there was a woman on my old BMB who said if you have a child, you should commit to taking care of that child as in quitting your job until they’re in school because if you continue on with your career then you’re a bad mom. She got ALL the snark and it was the best.
I love snark and gifs. I don’t even listen to hip hop these days, but back in high school and college, that was my sh*t.
My UO is that I don’t think showers or sprinkles for a second (or third, etc) baby is tacky... and maybe this is just somewhat a no no in the south, but I think all babies should be celebrated!
@msb615 yes! Celebrating each baby is fun! I do think it’s tacky to ask everyone to get you all new stuff if you already have it from last baby (minus clothes, diapers/things that run out, maybe some useful new gadgets)
@DuchessOfCambridge yes definitely agree with that! We kept all of my son’s baby gear and most of his clothes, so we won’t need any of that. I do love all things monogrammed, but honestly, a diaper shower is all I’d really like since my 2 year old shows 0 interest in potty training. I say all of this to say that I don’t expect another shower obviously, but I don’t side eye it when people do for additional babies.
@sleepy33 if we were to do Team yellow we wouldn't tell people that we know. I am a horrible secret keeper of my own secrets though so I dont think I could hack team yellow!
I love snark and gifs. I don’t even listen to hip hop these days, but back in high school and college, that was my sh*t.
My UO is that I don’t think showers or sprinkles for a second (or third, etc) baby is tacky... and maybe this is just somewhat a no no in the south, but I think all babies should be celebrated!
On the flip side, my UO is that I think baby showers are awful. Not that they're not necessary - showering a family with a new baby with gifts is important and helpful. But I didn't even enjoy mine. A room full of women sitting around watching one person open presents, playing silly games.
All that to say, I still think people should have one if they want, and I will always still go to baby showers of friends and family. I just don't enjoy them and really wish the way people celebrate babies would change.
DD1: June 2014 - VBM4lyfe DD2: October 2016 DC3: coming May 2019
@k2k2tog I’m not a fan of opening presents in front of everyone, but I don’t mind it with close family and friends. My work shower was a sweet gesture, but it was so awkward. My friends and I made a deal when the first one of us was pregnant that we wouldn’t do the silly games, so that helps make them more enjoyable. But really, just grilling out, everyone (besides me obviously) having drinks, hanging out and bringing a box of diapers is more my speed haha!
@k2k2tog I’m not a fan of opening presents in front of everyone, but I don’t mind it with close family and friends. My work shower was a sweet gesture, but it was so awkward. My friends and I made a deal when the first one of us was pregnant that we wouldn’t do the silly games, so that helps make them more enjoyable. But really, just grilling out, everyone (besides me obviously) having drinks, hanging out and bringing a box of diapers is more my speed haha!
Yes! That sounds perfect! I was recently invited to a baby shower that said in the invite that, while the ladies were playing games and opening presents inside, the guys were invited to come hang out with the dad, have some drinks, and maybe bring a box of diapers. It seemed so unfair!
(I decided not to go - it landed in the middle of a busy summer and she’s one of DH’s cousins that I’m not that close to. Didn’t feel bad about not going at all.)
DD1: June 2014 - VBM4lyfe DD2: October 2016 DC3: coming May 2019
@k2k2tog That is so unfair! I don’t blame you not wanting to go. I don’t know many people that would want to watch someone open presents and play baby shower games when they could be boozing and hanging out. I mean.. let’s be honest!
@k2k2tog@msb615 Ugh, I went to one of those showers although the invite just make it seem like a co-ed party. Then we got there and the guys were ushered to the bar while the girls had to decorate onesies with permanent pens. I was sooooo annoyed. So I decided to incorporate both when asked for ideas for my own shower for DD. Had it at an Irish pub and had people drink and then decorate the onesies.
@Pahialii Your idea is much better! Maybe it’s just me, but I’d much rather just have everyone hanging out and enjoying being at the shower. I understand old people and family like watching the Mom to be open presents and go the traditional route, but when it comes to friends... It’s so much more fun to just be laid back, drink, eat and talk.. even when you’re not the one getting to enjoy drinks!
Re: UO!
I totally get the reasoning behind not wanting to reveal the sex of the baby. Team Green, great. Even Team Yellow, I get...but I don't really understand the mentality of specifically wanting to tell people that you know the sex but you aren't telling. Like, I'd probably just say something like 'everyone's going to find out at the birth!' or something.
I know this is a true UO and lots of y'all are doing this, and it's not a personal indictment in any way.
ETA: My UO - adult cartoons are weird.
Married: Oct 2015
TTC #1: Sept 2016
BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16
BFP: 3/24/17
TTC #2: July 2018
BFP: 8/26/18
DD1: June 2014 - VBM4lyfe
DD2: October 2016
DC3: coming May 2019
But anyway, I agree. I think they're fun and exciting and I love celebrating.
I’ll be back for an UO once I think of one that hasn’t already been said..
My UO: I love love love breastfeeding, don't want my boobs or body back before this LO is born and hope that DD doesn't wean herself because of my pregnancy hormones. I did drop the pumping back in June and it was life changing, but when I'm with DD, breastfeeding is just so much easier IMO (and in my case)!
ETA: Oops, @k2k2tog , I got you confused with nerdyteacherlady. Sorry!! You're in Canada, I see now. My bad.
Married: Oct 2015
TTC #1: Sept 2016
BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16
BFP: 3/24/17
TTC #2: July 2018
BFP: 8/26/18
DD1: June 2014 - VBM4lyfe
DD2: October 2016
DC3: coming May 2019
Yaaaasss.... I think TB does the best job of fostering community - I have yet to find another board that actually believes in organization - but I miss what TB used to be. I was scrolling through my June14 board a bit a few days ago and feeling really nostalgic. And then I got to the bit where everything blew up and just got sad. Things are so tame now.
DD1: June 2014 - VBM4lyfe
DD2: October 2016
DC3: coming May 2019
Married 8/16/13
BFP#1 DS 11/13/16
BFP# 2 MMC dx @ 13w 10/30/18
BFP# 3 Preemie DD born at 38w (IUGR) on 8/28/19 weighing 5.5lbs. Our little miracle
UO: I hate technology. I’d give up my smartphone in an instant and go back to the days of flip phones. Sigh.
Married 8/16/13
BFP#1 DS 11/13/16
BFP# 2 MMC dx @ 13w 10/30/18
BFP# 3 Preemie DD born at 38w (IUGR) on 8/28/19 weighing 5.5lbs. Our little miracle
@bluesky24 Clearly I’ve been out of the game too long too because I hadn’t heard of team yellow either until now..
Now, there was a woman on my old BMB who said if you have a child, you should commit to taking care of that child as in quitting your job until they’re in school because if you continue on with your career then you’re a bad mom. She got ALL the snark and it was the best.
My UO is that I don’t think showers or sprinkles for a second (or third, etc) baby is tacky... and maybe this is just somewhat a no no in the south, but I think all babies should be celebrated!
All that to say, I still think people should have one if they want, and I will always still go to baby showers of friends and family. I just don't enjoy them and really wish the way people celebrate babies would change.
DD1: June 2014 - VBM4lyfe
DD2: October 2016
DC3: coming May 2019
(I decided not to go - it landed in the middle of a busy summer and she’s one of DH’s cousins that I’m not that close to. Didn’t feel bad about not going at all.)
DD1: June 2014 - VBM4lyfe
DD2: October 2016
DC3: coming May 2019