Hi everyone! New here, venting a little

melania86

Hi everyone! I have been lurking for awhile and I finally decided to join, mostly in order to vent.
My husband (33) and me(32) I have been TTC for about one year and a half now. Our results both came fine(except my DHEA-S which the doctor said is in my case genetic and shouldn't matter too much), which I find paradoxically infuriating. As weird as it sounds, I would like to know that something is wrong so I can address it. But no. All I get is ambiguity and confusion.
I've also been sort of depressed for the past few months, I feel like my husband is absent and I wonder if he thinks it would have been better to be with another woman who can give him children. He told me it's all in my head, but ...
Anyway. Next week I am starting my first session of acupuncture. I am skeptical, but I need to try.
Wish you all good luck!

mbradfo2

We are also unexplained -- everything looks normal on paper, but it just wasn't happening! It was very frustrating (and still is, I suppose) to not have something "wrong" that we could fix or that I could say, 'see, this is the problem.' We spent 3 years TTC naturally (monitoring cycles/etc) before finally going to a specialist - reproductive endocrinologist or RE. He was equally surprised to not find anything wrong so we went through a few cycles of IUI and then moved to IVF when that was still not working. IVF was our "solution" so to speak.

TTC issues have so much uncertainty and ambiguity around them in general -- we still don't know everything! And so it gets very frustrating, especially since it can seem so random. Why did my first IVF/FET transfer work when so many people go through multiple ones to get a success? There's no real reason; nothing I did differently than anyone else. 

Those negative thoughts can become very overwhelming when you're in the thick of things. Acupuncture can help with that too! I also see a psychiatrist who put me on some meds that help during some dark times.

My OB calls alot of what we do in fertility treatments 'rain dancing' since we're not really sure it does anything, but hey, it doesn't hurt! You'll see alot of people talking about supplements, etc -- whatever you find works for you. 

I do recommend making an appointment with a specialist who can maybe get you started down a road with either some answers or resolution. We did find out through IVF that my egg quality is sorta crappy (only 5 fertilized out of 9 mature eggs) so if we ever need to do it again, we'll have more information. Some of the stuff you only find out while you're going through the process.