IVF and cost

ah80

I was feeling good about our decision to do IVF in October.  Now that we are getting closer payment is due soon.  Thinking about the cost of all of this is so overwhelming.  This money could be a deposit on a house, it could pay for my nieces college education, retirement.  It could go toward pursuing adoption.  I am so distressed about the cost with no guarantee that this will work. I've been told odds are it won't work and we should use a donor.  I'm wondering if I'm being selfish for wanting to try to use my own eggs.   I am just so angry - the diagnosis, that IVF/medications are so expensive, that insurance doesn't cover it, and that I am so isolated about what we are going through.  I never could have imagined I would be in this place and I don't feel I have any other choice but to proceed.  Do others have insurance that covers IVF or are you paying for treatment?  

wishing-and-hoping

hi @ah80 i totally understand how you are feeling.  our insurance would have covered some of the cost of our cycle but would have also delayed us getting started so we are OOP.  Meds partially covered but I've hit my max for the year so now OOP for that too.  It is the ultimate gamble, because we don't know how things will end up.  My therapist encouraged me to restructure my thinking though - instead of thinking "if this doesn't work i'll regret spending all of this money" - to "i am spending this money to give myself the best chance possible to get pregnant"... it's helpful for me to think of it this way.  good luck to you in whatever the future holds.

J1006

@ah80. Our insurance pays 90% of diagnostic testing and then we are OOP for everything else. In the past two years, we have probably spent about $35,000 on infertility and we have nothing to show for it yet (we are transferring our last embryo in two weeks). We spent $10,000 just on meds for my retrieval because I didn’t respond to lower doses of medication.  We originally decided against IVF since it is just a “chance.”  After our IUIs failed and our RE deemed that IVF was our only way to go for a pregnancy we really had to think about it. Throughout everything we have always said we don’t want to have any regrets. So we asked ourselves, 20 years from now would we wonder if IVF would have worked.  Of course we would love adopted children, but would we always wonder what if?  Our answer was yes. So we decided that it was worth it to us.  GL with your decision. I know it’s a difficult one. 

mbradfo2

My insurance didn't cover anything except labs so we were OOP for everything. The cost of IVF scared me since it seemed like such a gamble, but my parents helped us out with costs -- I realize I'm very fortunate in that regard. I had the same feeling as others about IVF -- I didn't want to wonder "what if" later in life; I wanted to give it at least one shot so I could have some closure before moving on to other options. If our first try hadn't worked, I'm not sure I would have continued to pursue IVF. I would have probably moved on to adoption. We got very lucky though and it did work for us on the first cycle. 

I would love to figure out a way to be an advocate for adding fertility coverage to all insurance plans. Maybe through Resolve?  I think it's completely bogus that insurance will pay for a man's viagra but not a woman's fertility medicines. Double standard, imo. 

somewhereinnyc

@ah80 we are waiting another 5 months and then we will have insurance coverage for 3 rounds of ivf. The wait sucks and having to continue feeling isolated and in this purgatory sucks. My advice would be that if you’re unsure and having doubts, take another month to think it through or talk it out with your s/o to find the solution that feels best. 

drewsdarlin

ah80 said:

I was feeling good about our decision to do IVF in October.  Now that we are getting closer payment is due soon.  Thinking about the cost of all of this is so overwhelming.  This money could be a deposit on a house, it could pay for my nieces college education, retirement.  It could go toward pursuing adoption.  I am so distressed about the cost with no guarantee that this will work. I've been told odds are it won't work and we should use a donor.  I'm wondering if I'm being selfish for wanting to try to use my own eggs.   I am just so angry - the diagnosis, that IVF/medications are so expensive, that insurance doesn't cover it, and that I am so isolated about what we are going through.  I never could have imagined I would be in this place and I don't feel I have any other choice but to proceed.  Do others have insurance that covers IVF or are you paying for treatment?  

We are about to start IVF probably in October too. and AMH number was good for my age group is what doctor said. So instead of using donor eggs that he mentioned before to us I want to try with my own eggs. Our insurance doesn't cover fertility stuff either. 

kristimh80

@ah80 Awe I totally understand your anxiety over IVF! It's a long journey, but it's great you landed here. The IVF boards gave me so much love and support thru it all. We were also 100% OOP and it wasn't easy, but very thankful I did it or we'd be still wondering "what if". Your therapist is right...you're doing this to give yourself the best possible chance  

Holls214

We were also totally out of pocket. It’s a lot to spend but worth it. You could also look into getting a part time job at Starbucks. They offer IVF coverage for part time employees i have heard. Up to $20,000. Might be worth looking into. I heard about it after our transfer otherwise I might have done it!  

funkykey

@ah80 - ugh, it's the worst. I'm sorry you find yourself here.

You have the very low AMH and are showing signs of early menopause, right? Seems like this has all been happening pretty fast for you. It must feel really overwhelming - I'd be angry too.

We're about to shell out more money for IVF too, and I often wonder if I've lost my mind. Our RE tells us we have good odds of success and to just "keep trying", so here we are, $42,000 (!!!!) later, with a lot of debt, and no baby to show for it. Of course, if it works, I'll be like all the women who get pregnant from IVF and say: "it was totally worth it!". If it doesn't, I'll just be a fool who pushed herself and her husband into wild amounts of debt chasing a dream.

In any event, I say this because I understand your hesitance, anger & fear. IVF is terrifying even when the chances of success are like 50%. I agree with what others have said about finding peace, but you also don't want to set yourself up for disappointment. "Peace" looks different for everyone, you know? I hope you don't feel pressured to do things you don't want to do.

If I were in your shoes, I'd want to collect a little bit more information. For example: Will your clinic let you cancel if your ovaries don't respond/depending on response? If you have a poor response and can cancel, what will they refund you?

You always have a choice about whether or not to proceed! As I said, I imagine this must be very overwhelming - to get all this information so fast, about your diagnosis, your treatment options, etc. I hope you are taking time to reflect on what you want for your life, what's important to you, and what will make you happy. I hope you are taking time to take care of yourself. 

Good luck!

zamoraspin

To echo @Holls214, I think Bank of America also has coverage for IF. Of course many times it's not possible to change jobs or take on a part time job, but something to at least consider. 

My work does not cover IF (only some testing), nor does DH's. It's a lot to pay OOP and it's a tough decision. We are on a high deductible plan so we are considering whether to deduct the expenses or slowly pay ourselves back from our HSA over time (you can reimburse yourself for past medical expenses with an HSA, although good records are key). We were also lucky to get into the guarantee program at our clinic so if we are unsuccessful we will get a refund of the clinic costs (will still be out a bunch for meds, PGS, and so forth). It may end up costing more to do the guarantee program than we otherwise would pay, but I also feel a little more secure knowing we will be able to get some money back to use to pursue our other options. DH has a strong preference for us to try IVF before considering adoption (infant, embryo or otherwise). I don't feel quite as strongly as he does but I do wonder if I would regret not trying it. I think it's such an individual decision, and there's no wrong decision to make. 

drewsdarlin

zamora_spin said:

To echo @Holls214, I think Bank of America also has coverage for IF. Of course many times it's not possible to change jobs or take on a part time job, but something to at least consider. 

My work does not cover IF (only some testing), nor does DH's. It's a lot to pay OOP and it's a tough decision. We are on a high deductible plan so we are considering whether to deduct the expenses or slowly pay ourselves back from our HSA over time (you can reimburse yourself for past medical expenses with an HSA, although good records are key). We were also lucky to get into the guarantee program at our clinic so if we are unsuccessful we will get a refund of the clinic costs (will still be out a bunch for meds, PGS, and so forth). It may end up costing more to do the guarantee program than we otherwise would pay, but I also feel a little more secure knowing we will be able to get some money back to use to pursue our other options. DH has a strong preference for us to try IVF before considering adoption (infant, embryo or otherwise). I don't feel quite as strongly as he does but I do wonder if I would regret not trying it. I think it's such an individual decision, and there's no wrong decision to make. 

I wish we could do the money back guarantee program at place we are going to do IVF. but i am past the age on it. 

embryoman

Just want to add that some clinics offer very competitive rates. Look around the country. You definitely do not need to be local. Buying a ticket for a plane is only a few hundred vs thousands you might spend at a premium clinic. Check out SART to see how they stack up!

ah80

Thank you. This is so helpful. 

I know I want a child. I am trying to work through the reality of my situation and how this is different than I thought things would be.  My concerns about not feeling like I have a choice are like what others have said about not wanting to wonder "what if".  I also feel like we have to take action now since we are trying to use my own eggs. Waiting will not help.  

While this will be a financial strain I am fortunate enough that we are in a position to even think about taking this option. I realize others may not be in a position to consider IVF.  I was able to find a sample letter to advocate for insurance coverage through your employer: https://resolve.org/what-are-my-options/insurance-coverage/coverage-at-work/insurance-coverage-request-letter/

brokenparents

We also have been OOP on all expenses so far. Going to do Micro TESE surgery for husband to see if we can even retrieve any sperm. That is about $11k before we even get to the IVF process. Ive had people ask me about adoption because of the cost, but I know that adoption could more than we are going to spend on infertility. Dont feel selfish, we are in the same boat - willing to give all this a try with what we have and then look into other options if it does not work out. Good luck @ah80