@wearegroot@kangstadt thanks y’all. The conversation was longer than I made it out to be, and honestly? I also think I overreacted a bit. But our friendships have been rocky lately, and this is just the latest in a string of incidents where they’ve been super judgemental. It’s fine, they’ll understand where I’m coming from if they choose to have children one day!
@sdelg09, I can totally empathize with the disappointment too! My one friend reacted very... anti-climatically. She guessed, so kind of took away my thunder of telling her. Then another friend almost started crying and jumped up to hug me. So everyone reacts differently, haha. Hopefully they'll start being more supportive! Also, pregnancy hormones suck. I've been super moody and cranky lately, if someone said that to me, I probably would have lost my sh**.
@sdelg09 That is so rude. You should be excited about sharing your news and by the way, it is your news to tell! They can shove it.
On this same topic, I am really struggling not spilling the beans. We have told a few close friends and family that we have seen over the past few weeks (mainly because I was not drinking). My first appointment is next Tuesday and after that we plan to tell our parents and the rest of our fam. Work is my current issue. Things are VERY unsettled at work with earnings and investor announcements of a strategic review being announced next week that likely will include a big plan for layoffs. I've been through a lot of these in my tenure at the company, but this is one of the worst. I want to hold off as long as possible telling work due to worry about my job and the fact that I was up for a promotion (although who knows now with all that is going on). Anyway, since this is my third LO, my body is so showing my news - I honestly feel it is more than bloat, but I am already in a belly band and I feel it just makes my belly more pronounced. I'm not sure how much longer I can hide it under my clothes. To add to this mess, my closest colleague who sits next to me went through a (TW*) miscarriage a few months ago and has been struggling to get pregnant ever since. So now I feel so bad and sensitive to the fact that it happened right away for us.
Ugh, so full of worry and emotions. Just needed to vent. I'm open to any suggestions about work appropriate clothes to hide by bump for a bit longer!
Me (35) & DH (35)
Married: August 2009 DD #1 born 6/12/14 DD #2 born 10/31/16
@sdelg09 I'm sorry your friends weren't supportive like you needed them to be. That's really frustrating. I have my ultrasound at 8 weeks and if I see a heartbeat I'm really tempted to just announce then. I hate trying to hide it especially to friends and family. I feel like crap and I don't want to make up a million excuses as to why I feel crummy and am not drinking. I hope they come around and it was just an off day for you guys.
@socks2819 Sorry to hear you're going through all that. I'm having a similar issue (kinda) at work. I"m on probation for another month so I don't want to tell them right away and give them an excuse to fire me, though I don't think they would really, but I don't think I'll be able to hide it for very much longer!! You don't have to tell anyone regardless of how you look, but easier said than done, I know. People talk and assume. I hope things work out for you.
Me: 31 H: 36 L & N twin girls: 3yo. Born at 30 weeks. 2 month NICU stay BFP Aug 2018: EDD April 2019
@socks2819, can you get away with flowy tunic tops and leggings or loose blazers over buttondowns to disguise the baby bump? I don't work in a traditional office, so I'm bad at work appropriate suggestions. My "uniform," is gym clothes, so for now I've been resorting to more flowy tank tops.
@sdelg09 eff 'em. It's none of their damn business when you should and should not announce. Also, maybe they should consult the odds of NOT miscarrying chart. I'm sorry they were crappy.
My DH told me last night that my dad made another comment about how we shouldn't have more kids when they were out disc golfing that morning. I'm so mad. The man loves babies and babies love him. He had always said he was looking forward to grandkids. My dad and my DH are total BFFs and it's hurting him i think more then me, he's all worried how he's going to act towards him when we do tell. I just don't understand why he's saying this shit, he knows we want/plan to have more then one kid.
this is my backup acct. prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014 BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
@MRDCle It's just seriously bumming both of us out to hear this from him. And we've just recently been kicking around the idea of buying a piece of land together and building a couple houses on it. So it's like super stressful timing for everything.
My DH has been playing for like 10 years. He is the one who got my dad into it. My dad has always had a hobby of some sort but they were usually expensive and sometimes require more time/energy/physical exertion then he has. He told my dad he should try it out one day and he's been hooked ever since. We have like 10 courses all within an hour and a half drive, one of which is literally 10 min away from us. He tried to get me to play once but my boobs kept getting the way, lol.
this is my backup acct. prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014 BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
@thatbaintforbetty yeah that would be crummy to deal with. I can't recall - do you know when you plan to tell him?
I swear DH is always finding a new course to go to, on top of his weekly league matches. I don't mind playing but only if it's just a small group. I actually played with him on a Father's Day tournament this year and we placed and I think it was the proudest he's ever been of me
@MRDCle If he keeps this up we may tell him sooner just so he’ll stop. The plan was probably October since I can’t go wine tasting and that’s what my sis wants to do for her bday, assuming they don’t figure it out sooner of course.
That’s super awesome that you guys placed! The course nearest us does a huge St Patty’s 2 weekend tournament that splits pros and amateur. DH and my dad usually play the amateur weekend, they actually try to schedule their vacations every year so they have it off.
this is my backup acct. prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014 BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
@kangstadt@socks2819@mermaidca thanks, y’all. The weird thing is that they already knew about the pregnancy. I had told them and they were initially SO supportive. I don’t know what changed... but this is the second time they’ve given completely unwanted advice when I DEFINITELY didn’t ask for it. The first time was when one of them told me that DH and I should move into a 2 bedroom place. I responded calmly, but now I’m livid just thinking about it. Do they pay our bills???! No! Our apartment is very spacious and we already have plenty of room for a “baby corner” in our bedroom. We’ll definitely move at some point but I don’t think they have the foresight to realize that saving up for a house is a thing!
@sdelg09 I think your friends have your best interest at heart even if you don't like what they tell you. If they were supportive when you first told them I am sure they are still supportive but telling people is a big deal. I have myself gone through a mc after telling some people and it SUCKED. I couldn't imagine telling the whole world.
Also the minute you announce EVERYONE will give you unsolicited advice. its like like a right of passage. friends, coworkers, strangers. its weird. People will tell you what you should eat, wear, live, they will tell you what you should name it, what they think it is. They will try to touch you.
Me: 32 DH: 31
TTC #2 since January 2018
Baby #1 DD Born 8/25/2016 BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18
@kosmo86 they go back and forth. They have a pattern of judgmental behavior that I’ve always brushed off until now. I WANT to believe they have my best interests at heart, but they literally cannot stop focusing on the negative. It just bums me out.
@sdelg09, I'm all for keeping an open mind and being compassionate to differences of opinion, but if your friends are regularly a negative energy in your life, it might be better to see less of them. Of course, I'm an internet stranger and you're the one who knows them so obviously take everything I say with a grain of salt.
I had a best friend growing up that I thought I would be friends with for my whole life. Well, when I started finding my own independence and not always wanting to do her thing, she dropped me. It hurt, but it's better to surround yourself with positive energy. Life is too short as is.
@MRDCle@thatbaintforbetty MH is a giant disc golfer, too. I learned to do it so that I could see him more Whenever we travel, MH always scopes out new courses to play.
@thatbaintforbetty That’s so hurtful your dad said that about not having another child. I wonder if that comes from a place of being worried about spreading his love as a grandparent? Idk. Rude & hurtful, regardless.
I had a best friend, I mean BEST FRIEND for the entirety of my twenties and she was utterly toxic for me. Passive aggressive, selfish, inconsiderate, and just mean. The worst part was she struggled really badly with infertility, and I always supported her, until she told me one day after I got married that if I got pregnant she wouldn't be able to be friends with me anymore. This was supposedly a "joke".
I didn't realize how much better off my mental health would be until I decided to stop talking to her. It's been over a year and I don't miss her at all.
Funny how all the drama in my life disappeared with her.
@jrm_14 I don’t think that’s where he’s coming from but who knows. It’s just really awful timing unless he figured us out and is playing a really awful joke on us.
@MRDCle My DH asked for a nice expensive bag a couple years ago as a birthday present. He actually has another older one that is full cause he has so many discs. He cant wait to teach DD. She’s got an arm on her but doesn’t have anywhere near the focus to try. Plus she’d just run crazy all over the course.
this is my backup acct. prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014 BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
@thatbaintforbetty yeah DH's old bag is hanging on by a string basically. He takes our son who spends most of the round eating snacks and climbing in the woods, but he does like to pull out his fave disc and throw it every few holes ("Mama I found my yellow distoyer!").
Thanks @mermaidca@kangstadt This waiting to tell people stuff blows. I think I have worn every flowy shirt I own which is telling in its own right because I have been wearing more fitting shirts after losing a bunch of weight. I can't win lol.
Me (35) & DH (35)
Married: August 2009 DD #1 born 6/12/14 DD #2 born 10/31/16
I took DS to the zoo today and we went to the goat petting area. This one goat ran up to me and aggressively started rubbing its head against my leg and demanding that I pet it (it was using its hoof to grab my hand like my dog does) and then it started nudging my belly. And then I was surrounded by goats, it was a bit creepy and Hitchcock-esque like the birds. Do goats have a pregnancy sense?
@sheknows6 I have/had a toxic friend that I’ve been trying to cut off for two years. It’s hard because she is married to DHs cousin/best friend and our kids are the same ages. She’s done a lot of things but what finally made me want to cut her off is finding out she was having a 2+ year affair (baby #3 isn’t her husbands) AND she was telling her husband she was with me when she was actually with her boyfriend. Also her hubby took her back and she isn’t remorseful at all, she’s more upset that she got caught. It disgusts me especially when her husband is the the nicest man is the world and gives her everything. And I totally agree with the mentally healthier without the toxic relationship
@MRDCle I'm a laundry forgeter too! The exhaustion is crazy hard and made worse by kids waking up ungodly early! My two oldest had meet the teacher today and DH was in a meeting. No other choice but to take the whole gang. I was hoping to go in and take a nap when we got home, but all the neighborhood kids were out playing so I was outside watching the little ones so they could play too. I miss the days of napping when my kids still napped
DD turns 2 tomorrow! This morning on the way to daycare we picked up cupcakes. Something happened and they lost my cupcake order at our grocery store but luckily she was able to make some up up for me.
Me: 32 DH: 31
TTC #2 since January 2018
Baby #1 DD Born 8/25/2016 BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18
After a terrible week at work, the only item on my calendar today is "Eat Eggrolls." Work BFF making sure we ACTUALLY go out to lunch today like we've been talking about for two weeks.
After a terrible week at work, the only item on my calendar today is "Eat Eggrolls." Work BFF making sure we ACTUALLY go out to lunch today like we've been talking about for two weeks.
Oooh. Eggrolls sound really good right now. *Eyes Wegmans across the way*
So I have type 1 diabetes, and woke up this morning with my blood sugar low, so I had some skittles and dozed back off. Apparently, it was still somewhat low during my sleep because I was dreaming of eating cake, like massive amounts of it, but it was the best cake I've ever had. Pregnancy dreams are ridiculous, and now I want cake, and I don't even really like cake that much!
Yesterday at work, my boss pulled me in to her office to tell me that my foundation shade was too light and made me look like I was dead, and suggested I ‘go put some blush on..’ Cue hormonal pregnancy rage. I could’ve about ripped her face off.
Im getting my hair colored right now (semi-permanent, single process) and even though everything I’ve read says it’s safe and my doc told me it’s fine, I’ll be internally freaking out for the next 20 minutes that this dye is on my head.
@kgil109 I would pick an even lighter shade and wear that from now on! I think it's so ridiculous that people comment on others' appearance. I had an old coworker who was early 20's and she never wore make up and rarely did her hair. HR pulled her up to tell her to "try some lipstick". Are you kidding me?! Shove it.
Me: 31 H: 36 L & N twin girls: 3yo. Born at 30 weeks. 2 month NICU stay BFP Aug 2018: EDD April 2019
So DH just found out that he has to travel (to a place he hates) for work for the first half of October, so I was thinking about taking DS and visiting my sister. Seems reasonable, right? Except for my sister works on a cruise ship, which is awesome, but also means visiting her costs a couple hundred bucks even with her discount.
So now I have to bring up the idea with DH, and it legitimately is that I want to see her and have someone to help me with DS, plus her birthday is around then and I could tell her about baby 2 in person. He’ll understand that, but part of me also feels guilty because it’s like, while you’re working in a place you despise bearing all the financial responsibility for the family, I’m gonna take that money and go on a cruise to Bermuda for a week.
Of course this is also just an idea, and it may not be feasible anyways.
(Side note: Her contract is up at the end of February, so she said she’ll probably take March off and start a new contract mid-April, and since we haven’t told her yet, I’m just chuckling to myself about how she may want to wait a bit longer)
Re: Weekly Randoms Thread w/o 8/20
On this same topic, I am really struggling not spilling the beans. We have told a few close friends and family that we have seen over the past few weeks (mainly because I was not drinking). My first appointment is next Tuesday and after that we plan to tell our parents and the rest of our fam. Work is my current issue. Things are VERY unsettled at work with earnings and investor announcements of a strategic review being announced next week that likely will include a big plan for layoffs. I've been through a lot of these in my tenure at the company, but this is one of the worst. I want to hold off as long as possible telling work due to worry about my job and the fact that I was up for a promotion (although who knows now with all that is going on). Anyway, since this is my third LO, my body is so showing my news - I honestly feel it is more than bloat, but I am already in a belly band and I feel it just makes my belly more pronounced. I'm not sure how much longer I can hide it under my clothes. To add to this mess, my closest colleague who sits next to me went through a (TW*) miscarriage a few months ago and has been struggling to get pregnant ever since. So now I feel so bad and sensitive to the fact that it happened right away for us.
Ugh, so full of worry and emotions. Just needed to vent. I'm open to any suggestions about work appropriate clothes to hide by bump for a bit longer!
DD #1 born 6/12/14
DD #2 born 10/31/16
@socks2819 Sorry to hear you're going through all that. I'm having a similar issue (kinda) at work. I"m on probation for another month so I don't want to tell them right away and give them an excuse to fire me, though I don't think they would really, but I don't think I'll be able to hide it for very much longer!! You don't have to tell anyone regardless of how you look, but easier said than done, I know. People talk and assume. I hope things work out for you.
H: 36
L & N twin girls: 3yo. Born at 30 weeks. 2 month NICU stay
BFP Aug 2018: EDD April 2019
BFP: 1/26/20 | EDD: 9/20/20
prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014
BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
PS - my husband is a HUGE disc golfer, so I'm happy to see someone else who knows what it is at least, ha.
My DH has been playing for like 10 years. He is the one who got my dad into it. My dad has always had a hobby of some sort but they were usually expensive and sometimes require more time/energy/physical exertion then he has. He told my dad he should try it out one day and he's been hooked ever since. We have like 10 courses all within an hour and a half drive, one of which is literally 10 min away from us. He tried to get me to play once but my boobs kept getting the way, lol.
prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014
BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
I swear DH is always finding a new course to go to, on top of his weekly league matches. I don't mind playing but only if it's just a small group. I actually played with him on a Father's Day tournament this year and we placed and I think it was the proudest he's ever been of me
That’s super awesome that you guys placed! The course nearest us does a huge St Patty’s 2 weekend tournament that splits pros and amateur. DH and my dad usually play the amateur weekend, they actually try to schedule their vacations every year so they have it off.
prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014
BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
Im starting to realize my friends kind of suck.
Also the minute you announce EVERYONE will give you unsolicited advice. its like like a right of passage. friends, coworkers, strangers. its weird. People will tell you what you should eat, wear, live, they will tell you what you should name it, what they think it is. They will try to touch you.
BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18
I had a best friend growing up that I thought I would be friends with for my whole life. Well, when I started finding my own independence and not always wanting to do her thing, she dropped me. It hurt, but it's better to surround yourself with positive energy. Life is too short as is.
@thatbaintforbetty That’s so hurtful your dad said that about not having another child. I wonder if that comes from a place of being worried about spreading his love as a grandparent? Idk. Rude & hurtful, regardless.
+1 to everything @kangstadtsaid.
I had a best friend, I mean BEST FRIEND for the entirety of my twenties and she was utterly toxic for me. Passive aggressive, selfish, inconsiderate, and just mean. The worst part was she struggled really badly with infertility, and I always supported her, until she told me one day after I got married that if I got pregnant she wouldn't be able to be friends with me anymore. This was supposedly a "joke".
I didn't realize how much better off my mental health would be until I decided to stop talking to her. It's been over a year and I don't miss her at all.
Funny how all the drama in my life disappeared with her.
DD born: 3/31/19
@MRDCle My DH asked for a nice expensive bag a couple years ago as a birthday present. He actually has another older one that is full cause he has so many discs. He cant wait to teach DD. She’s got an arm on her but doesn’t have anywhere near the focus to try. Plus she’d just run crazy all over the course.
prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014
BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014
BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
DS-9/2012
DD-7/2015
DD #1 born 6/12/14
DD #2 born 10/31/16
@mdmommymegs that’s hilarious
The exhaustion is crazy hard and made worse by kids waking up ungodly early! My two oldest had meet the teacher today and DH was in a meeting. No other choice but to take the whole gang. I was hoping to go in and take a nap when we got home, but all the neighborhood kids were out playing so I was outside watching the little ones so they could play too. I miss the days of napping when my kids still napped
BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18
BFP: 8/20/2018 - EDD 5/4/2019
And apparently as of this week surfing is now the official sport of California.
Which begs the question what is the official sport of Hawaii?!?
My randoms are very random.
prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014
BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
Im getting my hair colored right now (semi-permanent, single process) and even though everything I’ve read says it’s safe and my doc told me it’s fine, I’ll be internally freaking out for the next 20 minutes that this dye is on my head.
H: 36
L & N twin girls: 3yo. Born at 30 weeks. 2 month NICU stay
BFP Aug 2018: EDD April 2019
DD born: 3/31/19
So now I have to bring up the idea with DH, and it legitimately is that I want to see her and have someone to help me with DS, plus her birthday is around then and I could tell her about baby 2 in person. He’ll understand that, but part of me also feels guilty because it’s like, while you’re working in a place you despise bearing all the financial responsibility for the family, I’m gonna take that money and go on a cruise to Bermuda for a week.
Of course this is also just an idea, and it may not be feasible anyways.
(Side note: Her contract is up at the end of February, so she said she’ll probably take March off and start a new contract mid-April, and since we haven’t told her yet, I’m just chuckling to myself about how she may want to wait a bit longer)