TTC After a Loss


Thought I would introduce myself, I will probably be here for a while. I had my 12 week scan on Friday and the baby only measures 8 weeks. This isn't my first rodeo, I had a mmc late last year I should have been 9 weeks but was measuring 6w4d, I tried medical management then but ended up having a d&e. As nothing aside from spotting (which I have had for 2 weeks) seems to be happening I will probably go the same route as surgery doesn't appeal especially for a second time.
I feel a bit numb, I have been crying but actually feel like it isn't happening yet. When I do think about it i feel yet again like a failure and a coffin. 

Re: Hello

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    I’m so sorry for your loss and that you find yourself back here.  Wishing you a healthy recovery 
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    @lokibear89 I am so sorry to see you return. Be gentile on yourself and take time to heal.
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    @lokibear89 I'm so sorry you're here.  <3
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    I’m so sorry for your loss—I hope you have a quick recovery that brings you some peace
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    Sorry you're back here again. I understand the feeling of knowing your baby is gone, but still having it inside you. I'd never referred to it as a coffin before, but it definitely fits. I'm so sorry for what you're going through.

    MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
    MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
    MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
    RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
    MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
    RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
    MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)

    RE #3: More testing 2023. 
    Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
    Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
    Lupron Depo March 2024.  Benched 3 months.  Hopefully FET after that.


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    I’m so so sorry this has happened to you yet again.  We had a similar experience back in June at our NT scan, for the second time.  It’s so shocking for it to happen once, but you never truly believe it will happen again.  It can take some time for the shock to wear off.   Please take care of yourself and reach out when you need to <3
    Me: 35  H: 35
    Married: 4/5/13

    "You know that place between sleep and awake, 
    that place where you can still remember dreaming?
    That's where I will always love you.  
    That's where I'll be waiting."
    ~Peter Pan 

    BFP #1: 11/12/12  EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13
    BFP #2: 10/29/17   MMC dx @ 9 weeks
    BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
    BFP #4: 3/2/18  MC 3/9/18
    RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
    BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl  :'(
    Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
    BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19  <3  Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19 
    BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022 
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    I’m so sorry for your loss. I remember you from F19 and I’m sorry to meet you back here. If you want to talk I’m always here to listen. 
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    I'm so sorry that you're back here and completely understand how you're feeling.  
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