Weekly BF 8/13

tessiesmom26

BabyBoyH92016

My husband left last night for a trip, so it’s me and the toddler alone for the rest of the week 

On a positive note, at least the weather is nice AND i realized that next time my H has a trip, my toddler will be in morning preschool which will help tremendously when I’m parenting solo.

Anyone else have a kiddo who wants to be out of the house all day? No joke, we go out for about 2hrs in the morning, and then another 2hrs after nap. It’s so exhausting coming up with things to do. 

ginny_203

I'm back from our babymoon and already in rare form We have received a number of packages delivered to our house that are from our Buy Buy Baby registry which is fantastic. The only problem is, they're coming to us without any form of packing slip/identification, so we have no idea to know who they're from! The only way I have been able to figure out who sent these gifts was to call the corporate number, wait on hold for 10 minutes and have them look up the item. A couple of times, they claimed the gift was purchased in an actual store, so they actually have me call the local store in the middle of NJ or wherever to try to figure out who sent the gift. Is this seriously the best system they have for people who have thousands of dollars of baby gifts on their registry? At least Pottery Barn Kids has a thank you organizer that lists who bought what.

pink_polkadots

Sitting here waiting for an hour to pass for my glucose test. And I’m STARVING. I didn’t have to fast, but I just had a quick few bites of a muffin this AM and it’s not cutting it. Gimme me alllllll the fooooodddddd

runningyogimama

My doctor wrote me a note for closer parking for the remainder of my pregnancy at my appt on Thursday since my walk to/from my assigned garage (about half a mile) has been giving me consistent cramps for a couple of weeks now. All parking changes now have to go through our main HR contact, who is halfway across the country in a different office and different state, and the response I got from her 48 hours later was that pregnancy is not a reason to change my parking, and my doctor needs to list any specific complications that would make it a reason, as well as a very specific distance. I’m super frustrated! 

emjohn517

My in laws are huge into traveling, FIL travels every week for work, MIL goes with and then they go on several week long trips, all the time, and then like to complain that they never see DD. Ok. So whenever they get back from a trip they immediately want to see us and give us these cheesy airport souvenirs. Every time. And if we don’t immediately drop what we are doing to see them, they get pissy. So today they got home from a 3 week long trip to Alaska and of course want to see us. Well turns out they are leaving again TOMORROW for another trip, so they just have to see us today. We literally can’t today, we have a landscaper coming to finish a project in our yard, we have a garage door repairman coming to fix our weatherstripping, plus MH has a late work meeting. And to top it off, DD and I have a weird cold/cough and runny nose. Today is not good. So now they are mad at us, they told MH we are rude, ungrateful and disrespectful, and that from now on we should plan our home repair appointments around their vacation schedule bc if not we “are keeping them from seeing DD.” We’ve literally been dealing with this bull for years. It’s exhausting, it’s the same argument over and over. We are not scheduling our lives around your constant vacations. I can’t keep up with where they are going each week and when all their planes land. We will see them next week for a birthday dinner anyways, but FIL told MH “we’d rather not wait that long”....oh? I can’t even with them. Shortly after DD was born we had a huge blow up with them. We’ve tried so hard to be civil and keep the peace ever since, but I’m worried we’re going to deal with the same thing when this baby comes. 

ginny_203

@runningyogimama that's super annoying! Who is HR to question what a doctor says?? 

tessiesmom26

@ginny_203 That's so weird that they wouldn't have a way for you to tell who purchased the gift. Most other registries have that standard. 

@pink_polkadots I brought purse snacks for mine so I could chow as soon as they drew my blood! Hope the hour passes quickly for you so you can eat!

@runningyogimama I would think HR couldn't question a Dr note. That is rage worthy for sure, and I hope they come around on the decision because your Dr clearly knows better than them. 

@emjohn517 They can't really expect you to cater to their every needs. Maybe your DH has to have a frank conversation that will make them realize how crazy they are being!

My BF is so minor compared to you all so I feel silly even writing it! We had a guy come to check the alarms this morning and he clearly had no clue what he was doing so an hour and a half of my morning was wasted waiting for this guy to set off the alarms to make sure they were working properly. 

smulrich16

@emjohn517 Ugh! That is super frustrating. Is your husband an only child? That sounds like the same kind of crap my brother's in-laws would pull because my SIL has always been able to cater to them...until my bro and SIL had kids. When the little ones became the focus of my SIL's attention, her mom kind of lost it.

I'm already nervous about the "we don't get any time with the grandkids!" argument from my mother and my in-laws. My dad and step-mom live here in town, so I'm sure I'll get that guilt trip all the time from the out of town grandparents. Plus, they'll have an expectation that any time they're anywhere near us (my FIL travels for Masonic events all the time) we'll be expected to drop everything and play host. 

lifesabeach85

@runningyogimama WTAF? Your HR sounds like a nightmare. How can they question a Dr note?

@emjohn517 That's terrible and selfish of your ILs. Sounds like you and YH are being the mature ones here.

pelorunningmama

@runningyogimama I agree with all the others here. It is absolutely not her call to decide what stipulates needing closer parking. Ridiculous! Is there anyone else you can talk too? 

@ginny_203 it sounds like it must be a system glitch. We registered there with my first and were always notified with the gift of who sent what. What a mess!

@emjohn517 I don't really have words for all of that. They sound like a barrel of fun to deal with. I hope DH can somehow straighten them out.

My BF is minor, but notable to me. I pick up premade salads at lunch from my favorite grocery store pretty frequently. Today I went with chicken fajita salad which comes with some of the most delicious ranch dressing made.... usually. Today, the person preparing the lunches confused ranch for blue cheese and packaged it up. It comes in a little clear container because it is a homemade dressing. Luckily, I noticed the consistency was off before I put any on my salad, but I tasted a small bit to make sure. I nearly puked all over our work kitchen... haven't gagged that much in a while. Blue cheese in real life makes me sick, but it is even worse when pregnant. The worst!

runningyogimama

@wannaflickone The email about parking came from our VP of HR, so...no, haha, no one over her. But my dr already got back to me and said she will write whatever I need on a note, so I’m hoping she has one back to me this afternoon, and then I plan to cc both my supervisor and manager on the next email to HR since my manager said to start to copy him if HR gives me trouble on anything. 

emjohn517

Smulrich16, MH does have a sister, but she’s an interesting situation lol. She’s 40, has always lived with my in laws, she’s never dated, doesn’t really have friends. She’s very immature and naive, stays very secluded. She basically carts her parents to and from the airport and mopes while they travel. My in laws however love that she never really grew up and that they still take care of her. It’s a very odd, and quite honestly, unhealthy dynamic. FIL is an extreme narcissist and only knows how to parent through financial control. They aren’t really good at emotional support, and bc MH doesn’t “need” him financially, they are continuously trying to find ways to get us to “owe” them. Like they’ll offer to buy us something expensive, but there’s always strings attached. Like the souvenirs, “we bought you a gift now you must do what we want, when we want it.” That’s just what FIL knows. He controls his wife and daughter with money, he cannot stand that he can’t control MH or I with it. 

Both sets of our parents live within 10 minutes, and I can’t tell you how many arguments we’ve gotten into with them all over grandchild time. It’s never enough. Everything has to be perfectly equal or else someone gets pissed and jealous. My mom and I are super close and get lunch or go on walks all the time, MIL gets so crazy jealous. Hello, she’s my mother, I’m allowed to talk to and see my own mother without other peoples permission! Lol. It’s truly exasperating. 

emjohn517

@wannaflickone that would ruin my whole day! lol 

mockingjay1

@runningyogimama - hopefully whatever your doctor writes the second time with suffice. How ridiculous of HR. @emjohn517 - wow, that is absolutely ridiculous. I can't imagine dealing with them all the time. 

smulrich16

@emjohn517 Yuck! It sounds like you guys are trying to set a different example for your kids. Kudos to your husband for being able to break out of the cycle.

I really hate the whole keeping score crap, it does no one any favors. Plus, it's not about the amount of time you spend with the kids - it's the quality of the time you do spend with them.  Good luck, girl!  

herewegoagain3rd

Mt BF for this morning is when my parents dropped of DD yesterday, we put her car seat in my DH's car because mine was full at the moment. So fast forward to last night and DH goes to work and I completely forgot to remind him to take the seat out. Now he us probably going to have a double today (meaning he is working until 4 pm). And I HAVE to go into work to get my classroom ready since we have a meet the teacher night coming up. I have no clue what to do!! 

runwmusic

@bfpafter4years glad to see you back and hope everything is ok. I'm assuming you don't have an extra base. Can you get started tomorrow on the classroom?

lifesabeach85

@bfpafter4years assuming YH can’t dash home, I guess your other options would be seeing if a friend or family with a car seat could either give you a ride there and back, or lend your their seat for the day if their kid is at day care perhaps. Or see if someone could run to the store and buy you a new car seat, or stay with DD while you go buy a new one. Or hire a sitter for the day so you can go in by yourself. 

firsttimespartanmom

@bfpafter4years see if someone can watch DD while you run to DH’s work or the store to grab a new one? Or maybe see if someone can come over and watch DD so you can go in for a few hours? 

My BF is that I completely forgot my niece’s “birthday party” tonight. I put this in quotes because DH is one of eight children, and when our child is born it’s grandchild number 10 on that side. We have made it our rule not to do Christmas or birthday gifts, because that’s 18 gifts a year, and within the next few years I’m sure that number will continue to grow. We try instead to do an activity with each kid, take them to the movies or a baseball game, whatever, instead of buy them a gift that they forget about after five minutes, and we do give money for significant events like baptism, graduation, wedding etc. We’ve already asked that no one buy our child Christmas or birthday gifts because it’s just too much with all the kids. Of course though, SIL has recently decided to start throwing “parties” for each of her three children. We can’t show up to said party without a gift or we look ridiculous, even though said party is only cake and ice cream and gift opening. Or, we might go out for pizza, in which we all pay for our own pizza. So now I have to run out on my lunch hour and figure out what in the world a five-year-old girl wants that doesn’t cost us a fortune. 

tessiesmom26

@firsttimespartanmom Can you do movie passes? That way you keep your tradition of an activity (the movies) and she has something to open? Just a thought. 

smulrich16

I found out at my appointment today that my OB office is closing 10/1. My current OB is transitioning to an educational role and is eventually moving to another state to join a practice. So, at nearly 25w into my Mo/Di twin pregnancy, I have to shop for a new OB. I guess the good part is that I am still under the care of the MFM doc, so that won't be changing. It just sucks to have to make a change like this so late in the game.

emjohn517

Smulrich16, ugh! Oh no. I wouldn’t like that at all. Fingers crossed you find someone soon you like and trust, but def don’t need that added stress right now! 

mockingjay1

Ugh I'm sorry @smulrich16, that sucks. I can commiserate (other than being high risk) with finding a new OB this late. I have my first appointment with my OB's PA next week. Hope you can get some good reviews and find someone you like. Maybe your MFM's office can recommend someone? 

smulrich16

@mockingjay1 I mentioned a couple of OBs today with my current doc and she said they were good. I had a bad experience (as have a couple of my friends) with the clinic they share call with, so I am definitely not going to them. It may be a blessing in disguise, though, because I was actually a little concerned that she shared call with this other clinic and was hoping they wouldn't end up delivering my babies. 

I already called one OB that is HIGHLY recommended by my friends. The nurse should be getting back to me today to answer some of my clinical questions. I'll definitely be discussing it with my MFM on Monday. 

lifesabeach85

@smulrich16 Ahhhh that's crazy stressful! Hopefully you'll end up feeling super comfortable with a new practice!

@firsttimespartanmom What about a coloring book/activity book and box of crayons or sticker book from like CVS/Walgreens? Probably less than 5 bucks.

firsttimespartanmom

@lifesabeach85 @tessiesmom26 thank you for the suggestions! I was totally overwhelmed in the target aisle when my other SIL saved the day and told me she likes pickmi pops - whatever they are, they look dumb, but they were $5 so I’ll take it! 

BabyBoyH92016

@firsttimespartanmom oh my goodness...that is a LOT of gifts and bday parties to attend. I would definitely be on board with no gifts. That would really annoy me. 

herewegoagain3rd

Thanks everyone for the suggestions. Luckily, DH didn't have to work the double today and was able to come home! I made it to work and the day was saved.

@ftm_jen thank you for asking. Yeah, I am okay. I was in so much pain that day. I couldn't move and just cried in bed. After that night, I got really involved in the move and I just haven't had s lot if time to come back on to check in. My back still hurts but not nearly that much.

MouseMama817

@emjohn517 Ugh, your in-laws sound so obnoxious. And they live 10 min away? By your first post you’d think they lived far away talking about how if you don’t work around their crazy travel scheduled you’re keeping their grandkids away from them. Sheesh. My MIL does this as well; they live 15 min from us and literally never come to see DD. She just complains about how much she misses her and whines if we haven’t sent pictures in awhile. Private pictures, mind you. Meaning it’s not good enough to share photos on IG or in the family group text. She wants her own individual photos that were taken specifically for her. Give me a break. 

@runningyogimama WTF with your HR?? I’m glad your dr is willing to write whatever you need. And HR gave you a nice in with asking you to specify a distance— maybe you can ask for one right next to the building!

@BabyBoyH92016  Oh boy do I feel your pain! I have 31 hours until DH is back from his work trip. I’m not counting or anything. I’m actually shocked that I’ve made it 6 days with only one emotional breakdown lol.

@bfpafter4years So glad to see you back on the boards! I’ve been sending up prayers that everything is well with you and LO. Did you end up getting checked out?

@firsttimespartanmom Holy gift giving. That’s a lot. It was smart of you to set that boundary early on! I can only imagine how the grandparents feel with all of those grandkids to buy gifts for. The birthday parties are exhausting in our family and I don’t even have many to go to lol. We decided early on that we would only throw parties for DD on major birthdays (1, 5, 10, etc.) with special days on the in-between years. Throwing a party can get so expensive and I’m an introvert so hosting those sorts of things stresses me out. SIL (the super competitive one) decided to also do this for my nephew, but for his bday she invited the family over to swim, put out a bunch of food, had cake, and gifts. Um...that’s a birthday party dude. She even sent out invitations! It’s hilarious though because if I ever mention our birthday approach she will always pipe up “Oh yea that’s what I do for DD and DS. I’ve always done it that way.” Mmkay.

msb11182018

Is it too much to ask that a 8 year old know what is and is not okay to color/draw on? Its been a battle for 4 years: freshly painted walls, nightstands, brand new electric keyboard, entire pages of chapterbooks blacked out and her yearbook faces destroyed for almost every student within a day of her receiving it last year...all things ruined and still it continues. 

She turns 9 on saturday and has zero respect for anything in this house. Somedays I honestly feel pretty close to leaving her dad because I dont know if i can take 9 more years of her just doing whatever she wants regardless of the consequences. 

We have been together since she was 3 and its only gotten worse. If I do go out of my way for her.. take her someplace nice or spoil her she either ends up throwing a fit while out because I wont spend even more money on something else or as soon as we are done she asks to go to her moms. I just cant. 

herewegoagain3rd

@MouseMama817 I can't remember what I posted now but I did end up calling the on call doctor (not my regular doctor) and he just thought I pulled something and should follow up with my pcp. He said if I wanted to I could go in but he didn't make it sound like it was necessary. So I just took some Tylenol and tried to sleep. The next day I felt little man right away and my back was better so I guess he might have been right?? 

MouseMama817

@msb11182018 That sounds really tough. I don’t think it’s an unreasonable expectation you’re setting. What does your husband do/say when she does these things? It sounds like she’s acting out for attention. When she writes on furniture and things, do you have her clean it up or work off the damage with chores?

tessiesmom26

Last night was a little rough and I am feeling it today. I was so sore from PT last night and wanted to get to bed early. DH had some stuff go down at work, and instead of relaxing, was on the phone yelling all night. (Their union at work is filing a grievance.) I finally made my way to bed at 10, but he came in about a half hour later and woke me up to keep talking. Baby also decided that would be a good time for a dance party so there was no way I was going to be able to fall asleep. 

I am dragging this morning. I have been debating taking Friday off, but I have so much at work that needs to get done and no motivation at all to do any of it. Hopefully I can push through by the end of today and tomorrow so that I can just relax on Friday and take some time to myself. 

offtoneverland

@runningyogimama Any update on the parking note? I was thankfully able to get a parking pass for my work because I have a long walk from the parking lot just like you. I hope you don't get any grief for the next request! 
@tessiesmom26 I haven't been feeling motivated at work at all this week either! I already had it on the schedule to take tomorrow and Friday off and I'm sooooo excited because the last place I want to be is work. You should take Friday off! Even if you have a lot of work to do, sometimes you just need to set it aside for some sanity. 

runningyogimama

@offtoneverland My doctor finally got a new note written today (I’m guessing she was off or on call yesterday since she wasn’t in the office?), but I have to go pick it up or have it mailed to me, and they close at 5, so I’m going to leave work early tomorrow to go get it. Maybe by...Tuesday I’ll have a closer parking pass? 

@tessiesmom26 +1 for the no motivation at work lately and just dragging. If you have the PTO to take Friday off, do it!!

lurvleybunchococonuts

Hope you got you new note and get closer parking asap runningyogi!

Tessiesmom, yes! Work has been hard to get motivated to do for me also!

firsttimespartanmom

Someone has been diffusing essential oils in my office all day today. It is apparently the smell of “the resorts in Mexico.” It smells awful, I’m super nauseous and have the worst headache ever. So grumpy. Essential oils are stupid. 

offtoneverland

@firsttimespartanmom Ugh! That is so annoying! I have a diffuser at home because my sister got me started on it, but so far I don't really love it. My sister added me to a bunch of Facebook pages and a lot of them have teachers asking about what oils to diffuse in their classrooms and it makes me rage. Essential oils can be really dangerous and no one should be doing it around someone else's kids without parental consent. I hid all the Facebook pages because I couldn't stand it anymore, with those questions on top of people thinking they cure everything ever. *eye roll*

It's so upsetting that people diffuse them wherever they want to now. H gets headaches from strong smells, no matter if they're "natural" or fake. I wish people were more considerate.

I'm sorry you feel sick and nauseous because of it. Could you say something to the person or your boss? It really is not safe to diffuse them all day, especially around a pregnant person.

firsttimespartanmom

@offtoneverland I can say something to the person, and I should have - if I would have I’m sure she would have stopped. Normally she only does it in small doses which is fine but today it was all day, plus the weather was horrible out, rainy and muggy, so I think all of that contributed to me not feeling well. After I got some fresh air and came home I started to feel better, but will definitely need to speak up if she does it again consistently. 

lifesabeach85

@firsttimespartanmom sorry but I am dying laughing at the name of that scent. What is “Mexican resort” smell? Cheap tequila and sunscreen? 

@offtoneverland did your pedi have any guidance about DDs sleep issues? Any progress?