Single Parents

Should I tell him or not?

I just recently moved from Alaska to another state. While in Alaska, a guy and I were casually sleeping around. Shortly after I moved however I found out I was expecting. (6 days before my period was due!) (And I only found out because I was in an accident.) 
Anyways, I wrote my friend (the guy), and asked him if he'd ever consider moving out of Alaska. He's always said he wanted kids. But he said, he's thought about it, but he doesn't know. So I then asked him what if I was pregnant. He didn't respond. I waited two days and told him, I guess I had my answer and I hope he had a great life. (Because I do.) To which he then asked me if I was messing with his head. And I wrote that I couldn't believe he would even say that. And that's been the end of the conversation. He hasn't asked anymore, and I haven't told him I am in fact expecting his child. Part of me wants to, and thinks he deserves to know. But the other part of me, often wonders what's the point if he wouldn't consider moving, and I'm not moving back, I also don't like his accusation either. Because we've had a great friendship. I was honestly shocked and hurt by that. 
What do you ladies (or guys) think I should do? I want to do the right thing. 
BabyFetus Ticker

Re: Should I tell him or not?

  • I just recently moved from Alaska to another state. While in Alaska, a guy and I were casually sleeping around. Shortly after I moved however I found out I was expecting. (6 days before my period was due!) (And I only found out because I was in an accident.) 
    Anyways, I wrote my friend (the guy), and asked him if he'd ever consider moving out of Alaska. He's always said he wanted kids. But he said, he's thought about it, but he doesn't know. So I then asked him what if I was pregnant. He didn't respond. I waited two days and told him, I guess I had my answer and I hope he had a great life. (Because I do.) To which he then asked me if I was messing with his head. And I wrote that I couldn't believe he would even say that. And that's been the end of the conversation. He hasn't asked anymore, and I haven't told him I am in fact expecting his child. Part of me wants to, and thinks he deserves to know. But the other part of me, often wonders what's the point if he wouldn't consider moving, and I'm not moving back, I also don't like his accusation either. Because we've had a great friendship. I was honestly shocked and hurt by that. 
    What do you ladies (or guys) think I should do? I want to do the right thing. 
    Well, to be fair, that does come across like you're trying to mess with his head. 

    Personally, I do think you should tell him. I think he deserves to know he has a child. And if you don't tell him, you won't be able to get child support or any help from him. 

    The potential options are a, don't tell him. B. Tell him and he moves. C. Tell him and he doesn't move. If b, great. It's what you want. If c, what's the difference between the c and a outcomes? Either way, you're raising the child likely mostly by yourself for at least a few years while they're small, but with c, you get child support and potentially a to some degree involved father in your child's life. Are you worried about the child having to travel back and forth for visits when older? 
  • I agree with PP.  I think he should know that you are pregnant, and then you two can figure out what will be the next step. Maybe he'll be involved, maybe not. Best case scenario, he's involved and sees the kid regularly.  Worst case scenario, you never see him again. 
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
  • Loading the player...
  • NO. At least don’t tell him until you are suuuuuuuure you want to, because you can always tell, but you can’t un-tell. This message is brought to you from a mother who has been regretting for the last 16 years my decision to tell my daughter’s father I was pregnant. He has made our lives hell. Ignore “fathers’ rights” and do what will be best for your CHILD.
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"