I might ask to work from home more. There is a staircase to get from the commuter train parking to the platform and I'm so done with it. I know that sounds so lame.
My leave is still completely up in the air, partially because we're a satellite office that does not qualify for FMLA, and HR is trying to use the leave policy that applies to the main office. Its frustrating because the leave of absence rules for that office that apply when someone doesn't qualify for FMLA are somehow supposed to apply to an entire office here and we're theoretically just supposed to roll with it, I guess. Idk. No one in this office has taken maternity leave yet, so I'm the guinea pig and it's been a challenge.
Otherwise, I'm trying not to mentally check out. I plan on working pretty much up until due date, but part of that is spurred by the fact that my office is significantly closer to my delivery hospital than my house is, so I'm less nervous about labor starting here than at home. The trying not to mentally check out thing is a challenge though....
Our regional VP is in our office today. He stopped by my office to say hi. He's really nice. But since we lost our third person, leaving only one while I'm on maternity leave, he (I think/hope) jokingly asked what my coworker will do to handle everything. And I was like "Uhhh, isn't this kind of your job to figure out??" It gets annoying that I work for a giant company but it's also very "small" in some regards. Like how no one seems to know what the hell is going on most times. And how no one worries about planning ahead and doesn't care until shit hits the fan. Pretty sure my boss just plans to wing it, and figure it out as problems arise (usual mentality).
I've also gotten no direction from HR regarding maternity leave except them telling me to file the claim for STD/FMLA.
Any insights on the set a last day vs work ‘til you pop debate? I know we have people doing both, but I’d love to hear your reasoning!
I need to to submit my paperwork soon, and can’t decide. DH is leaning towards a set end date, I’m leaning the opposite but don’t love the idea of starting labor in front of a classroom full of teenagers, so there’s that...
@halfanewt I mostly made the decision to work until the end for a few reasons: 1) I am not currently experiencing any issues, so I am capable, and low risk. 2) My job requires 100% of me when I am here, and some of the weekends - so I refuse to allow them to take even one second of my time away when I have a new baby. So I will give now to keep that time later. 3) My job doesn't wait for me.... as in what I leave is finished by others and I finish what other's do. There's no inbox or anything for me worry about building up or projects that I need to finish at any timeline. 4) And lastly though I'd love to prep and home prior to baby, it's not that important to me.
I completely understand the idea of starting leave at a specific time it doesn't benefit me personally more than waiting. I think each person has different situations and personal priorities that make different outcomes best. It depends on your situation.
@halfanewt I’m working until I get pulled off work by my doctor or by going into labor. It’s purely economical. I’m also a teacher and after my sick leave runs out, I pay my sub $150 a day out of my paycheck. I also have private disability, but it only kicks in if I’m pulled off for medical reasons. I’ve done it with both my other kids, and it helps offset the money I pay out. I ended up being pulled out for medical reasons with both of them. A was at 36 weeks and E was at 34 weeks and both were delivered at 37.
Mine kind of just depends... I figured if I end up being induced and know a date, then I may take off a few days before that just to have a few days to myself. But if I have no idea when she's coming then I hate to take off work and then nothing happen for a couple weeks and waste that time. Or I may just say I won't work past my due date. I haven't decided. BUT we'll see how I feel toward the end, because right now I'm just fine to keep going (even though most days I don't want to).
@halfanewt I am doing a set date, working till 37 weeks. My reasons:
1. My job is stressful, especially right now being understaffed. My BP went up near the end with DS so i dont want to risk it. 2. I personally like having a bit of time before baby to get some rest, clean the house and prep for baby. 3. My OB thinks I'll go early again so I'm expecting to deliver around 39 weeks, but no big deal if i dont.
Also, I am seriously over work LOL and getting very unproductive these days
I'm working until I can't because 1) I work in an office at a desk job that's closer to my delivery hospital than my house is, and 2) see my rant from a couple days ago above.
Our company policy blows. It's based on FMLA eligibility, but our whole office is exempt due to size/location (we're a satellite office and technically a separate branch of the company). No one bothered to create a policy for this office, so they're using the main office policy, which limits me to 6 weeks off and requires that I use all of my unused PTO to supplement STD during the leave, so I can't even use that to extend leave time. I want every minute of that for after LO is born. It doesn't help that our daycare hasn't guaranteed us full coverage until Jan. They have too many kids on Tues, and couldn't guarantee that enough of them would be moved to a new area freeing up NB space until then. Here's hoping we can figure out how to cover the 4 Tuesdays we'll need to (assuming I deliver on time w/o a c-section) prior to Jan. I am holding out hope that my supervisor in this office can get me the extra 2 weeks we previously discussed, but won't hold my breath.
Working til I pop over here for a couple of reasons:
1. Economic. I get 6 weeks of STD and then I have to use PTO for the remainder of my leave. When PTO runs out I have to take it unpaid with my director’s approval. If I’m using PTO, I’d rather spend it with the baby.
2. While I do enjoy a day off to get things done, I think if I took time before my due date I’d just go nuts waiting to go into labor and looking at the clock. Then if baby comes late, I’d feel like I wasted my time. Keeping myself as busy as possible I think will help keep me from getting too nervous.
3. I work in a busy doctor’s office and there will be no replacement or temp for me while I’m on leave. My partner will be on his own to see all our patients with no help. I hate to do that to him until I absolutely have to. He’s been so nice about letting me take whatever time I need for appointments.
I think if my job were more physically demanding I’d be tempted to go out early.
The sub thing is better than not getting paid at all though, which is probably the other option...
I won't work past my due date. My due date is 10 weeks from christmas Eve and that's when I plan on going back so that I'll get paid holiday pay from 12/25-1/1. I'll really only miss out on 4 or 5 days of maternity leave, which would be unpaid anyway. I won't go earlier unless Dr pulls me out (or of course he comes). I am hoping to work from home at least a week prior to his due date.
It’s the standard here where I live. All three districts I’ve worked for do the same. Once your leave is up (and your leave rolls over from year to year), the sub’s pay comes from your paycheck and you get the differential. With A, I’d been with the district for almost 5 years, had some days saved up with a week of Spring break being in there so I ended up only having about 2 weeks taken out of my paycheck. With E, I was pulled off 34 weeks but had only my 10 days since I had started with a new district. Luckily, three weeks of that ended being Christmas vacation and she was born at 37 weeks so that helped ease that. This time around, I have only my 10 days because I used up my days for sick kids and appointments last year, so we’ll see how much of a hit I’ll take. Thanksgiving break in there as well so that’ll save me 5 days. I’m actually lucky though because I still get paid my salary (minus the sub pay) and I still get my benefits paid as though I’m there. A friend of mine is a teacher in a different state and she said she has to pay the district’s portion of her benefits when she’s on maternity. I’m also well paid overall here, so it’s so I can’t complain.
Thanks for sharing! It’s great to hear everyone’s reasons, although I wish there was an easy answer I’ll have to sit down and crunch numbers and timing, I guess.
@mommy2ane isn’t it funny how district policies differ? We use our PTO, then go unpaid but still get benefits - unless you signed up for short term disability, then it’s 60%.
@halfanewt oh wow! Yeah... I’m glad I still get paid the sub differential. We don’t get state disability in my district so we have to buy privately. I’ve used this same company with my previous pregnancies and they pay you a certain amount until you’ve hit a certain number of days (no matter what) then they take the sub differential into consideration. I hit that with E since I was out for 9 weeks. It helps out so much having that on top of what’s left of my paycheck.
Work. F*%#^+!. Sucks. 12-13 hour shifts on a busy med-surg tele floor and I’m done by 2pm everyday, but have to somehow make it til 7-8pm. Horrible. Was going to work til labor, but now I am seriously second guessing that. 38 weeks sounds like a good day to call it quits. Just trying to make it through.
me 32 | dh 45
married 11.11.17 mama. epicurean. plant lover. wine enthusiast.
I am planning on working as long as I can because I don't want to dip into my leave, but let's be honest, I "quit" working mentally like two weeks ago. I don't know how much longer I can stay remotely focused! Every time I have an OB appointment my day seems to be completely shot...and I am useless.
But, with regards to leave--having an EDD in the first week of October is tricky. If the baby comes on time, it works out nicely to be able to go back to work at the first of the year. BUT if the baby comes a couple weeks early, you are looking at coming back mid December. Who wants to do that? Regardless, I can't complain--with my job this pregnancy I am fortunate to get 12 weeks paid and last pregnancy I got 7 weeks unpaid.
I'm planning on switching to working from home 2 weeks before my scheduled CS.
With DS, I took off a week before, and I'm glad I did because he came 6 days early after I had my water break all over the place and I still think, thank god I wasn't in my office when that happened.
With DD, I took off 2 weeks before, assuming that I would have her a week early too and trying to give myself an extra week off. Of course she came on time so I was home doing nothing for 2 weeks, but whatever. At that point I was all set with dragging myself in and out of work. Plus I had enough $ saved that I wasn't too concerned.
This time I will work from home because I have less sick/vacation time/$ saved and I don't want to go off of payroll... and working from home won't impact my time off. But I won't be dragging myself in here and I can hopefully still get a few things done around the house between answering emails.
meltonjl agree because I am hoping to get until at least Oct 1 (due the 8th). We have vacation/sick time accrued monthly and if I go before Oct 1, I will lose a month's accrual and every day counts at this point!
@lest12 I am due October 7. So very similar. For me, it's about meeting my annual billable requirement. If I get to go back January 1, it's basically a clean slate. At least it will feel that way! Who wants to worry about billable hours 2 weeks before the end of the year and right around the holidays?
I'm on early maternity leave. I am extremely high risk and my doctor was like yeah stay home for a bit. I work in the health field so it's not so bad. But i do miss my desk and dressing up every morning..
@meltonjl that is totally my issue as well! I *need* this baby to bake as long as possible so that I don't have to come back to work until after the New Year. Honestly I don't think its likely, even my OB wants to induce around 38-39 weeks due to my blood thinners but I'd love to be able to just go naturally and pray that this child is late! lol. My boss indicated that he would help me work the schedule so that I can delay my return until the first of the year, but that just means more unpaid time off, which is disappointing.
+1 for doing everything I can to not come back until the new year lol
If baby comes on time or late, I'm set. I will take 6 weeks leave, then "come back" to active employment status and use my accrued vacation to get me through the end of the year. If she comes a week early, I will have to come back for 1 week in Dec... lame lol
My husband and I joke about whether the baby will get the stubborn trait or the impatient trait from us - if she's stubborn like us, she's not coming early haha
Me: 33 DH: 31 Location: Castle Rock, CO DD: 10.13.18 baby #2 due: 7.14.20
I’m in the same boat! EDD 10/3 so really hoping this kid hangs out until DD. If not I guess at least things will be quiet when I go back but it will really be disappointing.
I told my work that I would be working until my due date. In reality, I will probably leave after Canadian Thanksgiving October 8th and use my sick days to make it to my due date, the 18th. I could be off with full salary on short term disability and just be responsible for paying my long term disability and my pension contribution. I’ve been off for the summer as a teacher though, so I feel like I’ve had enough time at home and am looking forward to getting back to the kiddos. Plus, I’ve had a good pregnancy and realize I’m in a very fortunate situation so there’s no reason for me to be off. I am, however, not looking forward to seeing the majority of my coworkers telling me how huge I am when they see me next week. I know I’ve gotten bigger since June!
If I go to my due date (10/12) then I'll "go back" on christmas eve, simply to say I'm off leave. we then have holiday from 12/25-1/1 (my company is predominantly automotive in MI and so we shut down at Christmas because our customers do). That will put me at 10 weeks of STD/FMLA and only missing pay for 1 week. If I go earlier I have to figure out what I'll do. Which stresses me out. At the same time, Im miserable and want this baby out.
@sammierose646 I am in the exact same boat! #twins haha. If I go to my due date, I'll work until the 12th as well and my maternity leave plus my accrued vacation will take me to 12/24. We have company shutdown from the 12/25-1/1, too so I'd also have to figure out what to do if I go early. Hopefully these kids aren't too difficult from the beginning and stay put haha
Me: 33 DH: 31 Location: Castle Rock, CO DD: 10.13.18 baby #2 due: 7.14.20
I’ve known for a while that my department will be moving to a different building off site, which is about a 5-10 min shuttle ride from my current office. It’s supposed to happen while I am on maternity leave. I already have a 1.5 hour commute one way (car, train, shuttle) and now I’ll have to reconfigure or add another leg to get to the new office when I come back from maternity leave. My boss showed me the blue print for our space today and it’s definitely open-concept cubicle, call center-like. I remember people were talking about their offices that are like this. Not looking forward to it. Currently I share an office with 2 people and we have a door. The desks will probably be shorter (width) by a foot and have like 4ft tall partitions. Not very excited about it.
So my Dr told me today he's willing to write me out of work. The issue is whether disability will consider "anxiety and discomfort due to pregnancy" a reason to pay my leave if I go early. The chances, as my Dr reminds me, are slim.
@sammierose464 I don’t think they can question it for a multitude of reasons but I think most states require some kind of accommodation attempt by your employer at the least. Probably comes down to your state laws and FMLA. For example, I didn’t get a note from my doctor, but my boss was cool when I told him my doc didn’t want me traveling after 34 weeks. So I wonder if there are things your employer are willing to do to make it easier for you.
Do you think my doctor will let me have a note that says I just have mentally checked out for the remainder of the year and I can’t think about anything except getting this baby out? It is technically anxiety and discomfort. I get less and less productive every day because I can’t focus.
@meltonjl travel is one thing because it can be unsafe for the baby to travel after a certain period. I've asked for 3 days from home and was told I can only get 2 (I've been doing 1 for several years). In talking with my disability provider I have to prove the be anxiety is making me unable to work. I can provide history of medication and therapy treatments which will help, but I'm not sure it's enough.
@sammierose464 I bet that’s a good start. Does your OB have a therapist or counselor in the office? Mine does. Maybe someone like that can write a supplemental note for proof.
You may get approval for short term disability but then you might not be able to use it when you actually deliver - there’s a max amount of weeks per year I think and so if I were you, I’d consider if it’s worth losing the time later. Not sure if your disability is paid either? Mine is, but has a 5 day waiting period that’s not paid. They make disability so hard to use it becomes barely worth it if just a few weeks.
We have up to 26 weeks of 100% paid short term disability that starts day 1, which is really nice. The only thing that would be affected is my FMLA, because it would start if I went out early. Which would mean I couldn't take any unpaid time, but I was only planning on a week or so unpaid. We also dont have to use our vacation time unless we want.
There's not a therapist/counselor in office, but I have one that I'm currently seeing who could write a supplemental note.
We have up to 26 weeks of 100% paid short term disability that starts day 1, which is really nice. The only thing that would be affected is my FMLA, because it would start if I went out early. Which would mean I couldn't take any unpaid time, but I was only planning on a week or so unpaid. We also dont have to use our vacation time unless we want.
There's not a therapist/counselor in office, but I have one that I'm currently seeing who could write a supplemental note.
Holy shit, can I work with you??
That is great that you have so much time, I hope you can get the current issues covered by it... that’s what leave is there for, right?
This is a little on-topic, a little just me being annoyed, but I had a really bad week last week. I was dizzy and sick and didnt even want to drive. It was also about 100 degrees in Boston. So I worked from home (which is on on an as needed basis) for 2 days and then went to the dr on the 3rd day and he wrote me a note to work from home 2 days a week from now on, possibly more if needed, because I am not feeling well and still have 5 weeks to go.
Earlier this year Massachusetts passed a law about accomodating pregnancies like disabilities or something to that nature. So I sent the note to HR and she said it was a "reasonable qccomodation" and they planned on accomodating me but needed my manager's approval as a formality. I had also emailed my boss personally.
That was Thursday afternoon and my boss never got back to me, or to HR, but he had no problem emailing me on Friday (I work a compressed week and do not work fridays) asking me to do things that day on my day off (I wouldn't be getting paid). Normally I do stuff for my boss all the time without questioning it but I was just annoyed that he never gave HR the Ok, or responded to my email. Especially when he was asking me to go out of my way for him. I know he is just worried about certain things getting wrapped up but I can only get so much done, especially when I have no support from him or my coworkers so what does he want me to do????
So, TLDR: I have a dr note for being sick and MA law is totally covering it, but my boss is being a jerk and doesnt like it because it is inconveniencing him. This is my 3rd pregnancy and I am absolutely getting the distinct feeling that I am wearing out my welcome with time off and the company's generous leave policy but what do you want me to do? Not grow my family because you dont have anyone else to do the budget while i'm gone?
@lest12 wow i am sorry you have to deal with that! Makw sure you have copied documentation of what you sent to hr and your boss as your stats law cover it you may need to take it higher. Though maybe one of the ladies here that work in HR can help out more because maybe I am way wrong! Edit for bump being stupid
Thanks @SweetSweetTooth! Im definitely documenting it and there hr dept told me they plan on accomodating me so to just email him which days I plan on staying home next week and let them deal with it... so i'm glad i feel like HR has my back. but still, it's crappy!
I just think it sucks that women are expected to be at 100% capacity until they the baby. It isn't realistic or fair. Some are, and god bless them, but i'm not one of them this time around unfortunately. And even when you're protected, you can still be given a hard time because of it. I think it's bullshit, personally.
Re: The Work Thread
I have 6.5 weeks to go. I plan on working from home the last 2 weeks (but am not telling work until the time comes).
My doctor has also offered to write me a note so I can work from home part-time at any point. I'm kind of just waiting to pull the trigger...
Otherwise, I'm trying not to mentally check out. I plan on working pretty much up until due date, but part of that is spurred by the fact that my office is significantly closer to my delivery hospital than my house is, so I'm less nervous about labor starting here than at home. The trying not to mentally check out thing is a challenge though....
I've also gotten no direction from HR regarding maternity leave except them telling me to file the claim for STD/FMLA.
I need to to submit my paperwork soon, and can’t decide. DH is leaning towards a set end date, I’m leaning the opposite but don’t love the idea of starting labor in front of a classroom full of teenagers, so there’s that...
1) I am not currently experiencing any issues, so I am capable, and low risk.
2) My job requires 100% of me when I am here, and some of the weekends - so I refuse to allow them to take even one second of my time away when I have a new baby. So I will give now to keep that time later.
3) My job doesn't wait for me.... as in what I leave is finished by others and I finish what other's do. There's no inbox or anything for me worry about building up or projects that I need to finish at any timeline.
4) And lastly though I'd love to prep and home prior to baby, it's not that important to me.
I completely understand the idea of starting leave at a specific time it doesn't benefit me personally more than waiting. I think each person has different situations and personal priorities that make different outcomes best. It depends on your situation.
1. My job is stressful, especially right now being understaffed. My BP went up near the end with DS so i dont want to risk it.
2. I personally like having a bit of time before baby to get some rest, clean the house and prep for baby.
3. My OB thinks I'll go early again so I'm expecting to deliver around 39 weeks, but no big deal if i dont.
Also, I am seriously over work LOL and getting very unproductive these days
Our company policy blows. It's based on FMLA eligibility, but our whole office is exempt due to size/location (we're a satellite office and technically a separate branch of the company). No one bothered to create a policy for this office, so they're using the main office policy, which limits me to 6 weeks off and requires that I use all of my unused PTO to supplement STD during the leave, so I can't even use that to extend leave time. I want every minute of that for after LO is born. It doesn't help that our daycare hasn't guaranteed us full coverage until Jan. They have too many kids on Tues, and couldn't guarantee that enough of them would be moved to a new area freeing up NB space until then. Here's hoping we can figure out how to cover the 4 Tuesdays we'll need to (assuming I deliver on time w/o a c-section) prior to Jan. I am holding out hope that my supervisor in this office can get me the extra 2 weeks we previously discussed, but won't hold my breath.
1. Economic. I get 6 weeks of STD and then I have to use PTO for the remainder of my leave. When PTO runs out I have to take it unpaid with my director’s approval. If I’m using PTO, I’d rather spend it with the baby.
2. While I do enjoy a day off to get things done, I think if I took time before my due date I’d just go nuts waiting to go into labor and looking at the clock. Then if baby comes late, I’d feel like I wasted my time. Keeping myself as busy as possible I think will help keep me from getting too nervous.
3. I work in a busy doctor’s office and there will be no replacement or temp for me while I’m on leave. My partner will be on his own to see all our patients with no help. I hate to do that to him until I absolutely have to. He’s been so nice about letting me take whatever time I need for appointments.
I think if my job were more physically demanding I’d be tempted to go out early.
I won't work past my due date. My due date is 10 weeks from christmas Eve and that's when I plan on going back so that I'll get paid holiday pay from 12/25-1/1. I'll really only miss out on 4 or 5 days of maternity leave, which would be unpaid anyway. I won't go earlier unless Dr pulls me out (or of course he comes). I am hoping to work from home at least a week prior to his due date.
@mommy2ane isn’t it funny how district policies differ? We use our PTO, then go unpaid but still get benefits - unless you signed up for short term disability, then it’s 60%.
mama. epicurean. plant lover. wine enthusiast.
But, with regards to leave--having an EDD in the first week of October is tricky. If the baby comes on time, it works out nicely to be able to go back to work at the first of the year. BUT if the baby comes a couple weeks early, you are looking at coming back mid December. Who wants to do that? Regardless, I can't complain--with my job this pregnancy I am fortunate to get 12 weeks paid and last pregnancy I got 7 weeks unpaid.
I'm planning on switching to working from home 2 weeks before my scheduled CS.
With DS, I took off a week before, and I'm glad I did because he came 6 days early after I had my water break all over the place and I still think, thank god I wasn't in my office when that happened.
With DD, I took off 2 weeks before, assuming that I would have her a week early too and trying to give myself an extra week off. Of course she came on time so I was home doing nothing for 2 weeks, but whatever. At that point I was all set with dragging myself in and out of work. Plus I had enough $ saved that I wasn't too concerned.
This time I will work from home because I have less sick/vacation time/$ saved and I don't want to go off of payroll... and working from home won't impact my time off. But I won't be dragging myself in here and I can hopefully still get a few things done around the house between answering emails.
meltonjl agree because I am hoping to get until at least Oct 1 (due the 8th). We have vacation/sick time accrued monthly and if I go before Oct 1, I will lose a month's accrual and every day counts at this point!
+1 for doing everything I can to not come back until the new year lol
If baby comes on time or late, I'm set. I will take 6 weeks leave, then "come back" to active employment status and use my accrued vacation to get me through the end of the year. If she comes a week early, I will have to come back for 1 week in Dec... lame lol
My husband and I joke about whether the baby will get the stubborn trait or the impatient trait from us - if she's stubborn like us, she's not coming early haha
Me: 33 DH: 31
Location: Castle Rock, CO
DD: 10.13.18
baby #2 due: 7.14.20
Me: 33 DH: 31
Location: Castle Rock, CO
DD: 10.13.18
baby #2 due: 7.14.20
Do you think my doctor will let me have a note that says I just have mentally checked out for the remainder of the year and I can’t think about anything except getting this baby out? It is technically anxiety and discomfort. I get less and less productive every day because I can’t focus.
Do you have sick time to use instead?
Good luck!
There's not a therapist/counselor in office, but I have one that I'm currently seeing who could write a supplemental note.
That is great that you have so much time, I hope you can get the current issues covered by it... that’s what leave is there for, right?
Earlier this year Massachusetts passed a law about accomodating pregnancies like disabilities or something to that nature. So I sent the note to HR and she said it was a "reasonable qccomodation" and they planned on accomodating me but needed my manager's approval as a formality. I had also emailed my boss personally.
That was Thursday afternoon and my boss never got back to me, or to HR, but he had no problem emailing me on Friday (I work a compressed week and do not work fridays) asking me to do things that day on my day off (I wouldn't be getting paid). Normally I do stuff for my boss all the time without questioning it but I was just annoyed that he never gave HR the Ok, or responded to my email. Especially when he was asking me to go out of my way for him. I know he is just worried about certain things getting wrapped up but I can only get so much done, especially when I have no support from him or my coworkers so what does he want me to do????
So, TLDR: I have a dr note for being sick and MA law is totally covering it, but my boss is being a jerk and doesnt like it because it is inconveniencing him. This is my 3rd pregnancy and I am absolutely getting the distinct feeling that I am wearing out my welcome with time off and the company's generous leave policy but what do you want me to do? Not grow my family because you dont have anyone else to do the budget while i'm gone?
Edit for bump being stupid
Im definitely documenting it and there hr dept told me they plan on accomodating me so to just email him which days I plan on staying home next week and let them deal with it... so i'm glad i feel like HR has my back. but still, it's crappy!
I just think it sucks that women are expected to be at 100% capacity until they the baby. It isn't realistic or fair. Some are, and god bless them, but i'm not one of them this time around unfortunately. And even when you're protected, you can still be given a hard time because of it. I think it's bullshit, personally.
Sorry, end rant!