So we had a talk and all is good in SawyerRichardson land. I appreciate everyone’s concern. He never brought it up until I asked about it at like 9:30pm so it obviously wasn’t urgent enough to send a scary text like that to your pregnant wife!
Long story short he felt like we have gotten boring because we don’t do a whole lot anymore like we used to. We’ve been together since I was 17 (I’m 29 now). Of course we aren’t going to be as active as we were then. We also have a 1.5 year old and I’m 7 mo pregnant, there isn’t a whole lot we can do in the hour between when you get home from work and DD goes to bed. I also had very easy pregnancy with DD so I don’t think he’s really understanding why I’m exhausted and hurting by the end of the day.
@SawyerRichardson oh my gosh thank goodness it is nothing major - was thinking of you! I think it's awesome that he can communicate that before it gets worse, but that totally didn't warrant scary text Hope you guys can come up with some fun activities, new hobbies, or date nights for the two of you!
@dellusion DH uses a lacrosse ball on my hips/glutes/thighs almost nightly and it does help. Also gives me an opportunity to practice my breathing through excruciating pain
I was reading that something like a tennis ball used during contractions against your lower back and such can help give a counter pressure.
@SawyerRichardson Glad he was able to communicate and it wasn't anything too bad. Remind him that next time, those kind of texts aren't the best to send mid day. I understand where you and him are coming from. DH and I run into a similar issue right now. My pregnancy has been very rough on me, and his ex never talked about her pregnancy and wasn't that eventful. I think he's just now realizing how hard it is on me as my pain is more visual. He's expressed that it's hard to not have his happy wife around lately. The best thing is to talk about it and understand how both feel.
@SawyerRichardson so glad everything is mostly okay...at least, it sounds like it's definitely something you can talk about and work through. Fella says he "forgets" I'm pregnant some of the time, because I don't complain aloud unless something is really bothering me. I think it's hard for even the most sensitive, well-intentioned dudes to understand what this is like for us. Even beyond the physical symptoms, it's a mental/emotional journey, too, and handling that can be exhausting enough on its own.
My relationship with my husband isn't as nearly as long as yours, but one thing that helps us is to make a list of weekend fun outings and short trips and to stick it to the fridge. We started doing this when he moved to another state while we were engaged—having new adventures helped me focus on the advantages of being able to explore a new region, instead of being pissed that we were back to long distance (which was how our relationship began). We've moved twice since then, so we keep making new lists. Then when we have a free weekend coming up, we can pick something to do without having to brainstorm. We've managed to cross off most of the things we wanted to do when we moved to CA 11 months ago, except for a few bigger trips. I've been wanting to make a second list of date night ideas. Obviously they'll take more planning once a baby is in the picture and we have to arrange child care, but having a list helps me get plans going.
@SawyerRichardson so glad you guys got to talk and it wasn't anything too serious!
@sammierose464 yep, since I've decided to go med free (semi last minute decision), I will be using a lacrosse ball to help during contractions. Definitely going in the hospital bag, and will be used before we leave!
You guys are all so wonderful! I’m glad to hear all of your suggestions and that I’m not the only one possibly going through a bit of this. We both have some things to work on but it’s nothing we can’t make it through. I just can’t wait until October to get this baby out of me and start feeling like myself again!
@melbo444 - I love that idea! I’m totally stealing it for myself - I’m afraid I’m going to get into a routine of diaper changes, laundry and pumping and forget to go for hikes and to the museum.
@SawyerRichardson Glad to hear everything is good between you and your DH! DH and I have been together for 11 years now and he said the same thing a few years ago. Along the lines of what @melbo444 suggested, I put activities that he had mentioned in to envelopes so we could try something new every month when he opened the envelope. We didn’t do them all, but we did a lot of them (ex. Going ice skating at the outdoor rink in the winter, exploring the parks in our neighborhood with picnics, finding a new beach, etc.). It was fun and gave us a lot of new ideas for things we still do together when we want to get out of the house and do something fun.
@SawyerRichardson so glad the conversation wasn't as scary as that text! Love the list idea! Especially when baby is here it will give us ideas for those times when we do have free time without having to plan. Dating is so important but also so hard when you have a full plate with life, jobs, kids etc
Me 33 DH 41 TTC since 2016 Due: October 12, 2018 Location: Ontario, Canada
My BF is with my dogs. We’re trying to train them to be able to roam free on the first floor of our house when we’re not home so we can gain back like half of our living room and make it safer before the baby comes. We’ve tried this in the past with 0 success. They just love area rugs and pillows and chewing and tearing up, and eating too. This time they stared out with 1-2 hours and aced it. Then half days and did fine too. Then full days and it there were a few good days and then some sprinkled in not to good days. Last week wasn’t great. This week I was home sick Monday and Tuesday and today I was the one to decide if they go in the crate or not since my H is out of town and usually he leaves after me. I gave into my guilt and left them out. We have a camera to see them and within 10 minutes of m leaving they’ve flipped over the rug in our front hall and have torn the rug pad to shreds. Have to bother my MIL to stop by and crate them since it will be 5-6 hours until the dog walker comes. Why can’t they be normal behaved dogs. They bark at everything, can’t just be calm and with other dogs, destroy the house . Can’t wait to have all that with a baby. I think they’ll be good with her, but my smaller dog (40lbs in comparison to 93lbs) is jumpy when you we come home. Otherwise I think they’ll be gentle with her but ge barking at every person or dog walking by is gonna wear me or with a napping baby. We’ve done obedience class, a 2 week doggy boot camp when that didn’t help, and still they’re so disobedient with me. They listen to my husband. Love them to pieces but they’re 2 and 3 now and can outgrow this puppy crap.
@rabtaido1214 My dog is crated all day while we are gone, and I don't think I'll feel comfortable enough to leave him out anytime soon. It sucks, because I'd like to leave him out and get rid of the huge crate (he's 70lb), but I just don't see it happening. Although, I'm more worried about him going in the house and chewing boxes and kleenex he finds. It's stressful to have to worry about it, and I'm sorry that it's adding to your stress right now.
@sammierose464 I’m glad someone can relate! My bigger dog doesn’t mind his crate, but he does seem so much happier after a day out of the crate. My rescue dog came with a preexisting hatred for the crate but kind of tolerates it- at least that’s what we want to think. There is just no good place for the crates because one is for Great Danes so my shepherd has enough room but they’re in our living room currently. It also looks like a baby hazard but I don’t see them going away anytime soon. This is a time open concept backfires. If only had a room with a door to let them have. Instead the whole downstairs is open territory.
@rabtaido1214 I’m with you on the dog front. 2 of my 3 are ok being out while we are gone, but the third (Dane mix) 100% has to be crated any time we are gone. He was doing better for a while, but any time I am pregnant and until DD was about 6 months he acts out like a psycho. Rugs and stuff are fine but anything unusual on the floor like any of DDs toys will be destroyed in seconds. No good advice, just wanted to let you know you aren’t alone.
My in laws had a similar problem with their dog, they would create her in the basement, she had a plastic crate that she completely demolished and busted out of and had shit all through it and herself. She ate her way through the cat door to upstairs, and would chew on everything. Shoes, the turkeys they had stuffed, door handles, door frames. They tried locking her in the bathroom instead. Had the replace the door knob and frame, light switches, cabinet doors, she'd tear apart the shower curtain, shit all over the bathroom, it was terrible.. We took her to the vet and mentioned all her demolition and they said she was having anxiety when she was left alone so to give her half a benadryl half an hour before leaving so it could set in and give her lots of stuffed animals and toys for her to chew. That helped for a bit and she eventually grew out demolishing the house when she realized they were going to come back, and if they come home to a mess now it's just stuffing from one of her toys. She occasionally gets into the trash still but what dog doesn't?
My in-laws are coming into town today and staying at our house for a week. Love them to death, but dreading it. My husband has to do everything for them, pick them up and drive them around. Now that we have the nursery, we only have one extra bedroom. And they don't sleep together, so don't know where one will sleep. And H's sister is coming too, and I have NO idea where she is supposed to go. All this happens of course with no planning whatsoever, so it's just a shit show. I told H that when the baby is here, they have to stay with his brother, who lives FIVE MINUTES AWAY and has a huge house to himself but somehow always gets out of people staying with him because he's a giant baby. I'm getting more and more annoyed just thinking about it and they're not even here yet.
@hannaht8516 thats crazy they aren't staying with BIL for this visit... theres no need to stress you out when it sounds like theres a much better option 5 minutes up the road..
@mamabearcj there's no "what would be easiest or most convenient, and how would they feel about this?" kind of thought processes on that side of the family. Lol
@hannaht8516 then you better stand your ground about this when the baby comes or they'll be all up in your space and home and nobody wants that!! Besides them..
@mamabearcj I've already had dreams/nightmares about having to stand up to my MIL with the baby! But my husband is pretty good about it when he needs to be. I'm probably even more patient with them than he is.
@hannaht8516 you and me both! I told DH where the line is and if its crossed they wont get a second chance. Thankful he agrees but I'm hoping he will back me up on it if the time comes
Re: Monday BF
Long story short he felt like we have gotten boring because we don’t do a whole lot anymore like we used to. We’ve been together since I was 17 (I’m 29 now). Of course we aren’t going to be as active as we were then. We also have a 1.5 year old and I’m 7 mo pregnant, there isn’t a whole lot we can do in the hour between when you get home from work and DD goes to bed. I also had very easy pregnancy with DD so I don’t think he’s really understanding why I’m exhausted and hurting by the end of the day.
Hope you guys can come up with some fun activities, new hobbies, or date nights for the two of you!
@SawyerRichardson Glad he was able to communicate and it wasn't anything too bad. Remind him that next time, those kind of texts aren't the best to send mid day. I understand where you and him are coming from. DH and I run into a similar issue right now. My pregnancy has been very rough on me, and his ex never talked about her pregnancy and wasn't that eventful. I think he's just now realizing how hard it is on me as my pain is more visual. He's expressed that it's hard to not have his happy wife around lately. The best thing is to talk about it and understand how both feel.
My relationship with my husband isn't as nearly as long as yours, but one thing that helps us is to make a list of weekend fun outings and short trips and to stick it to the fridge. We started doing this when he moved to another state while we were engaged—having new adventures helped me focus on the advantages of being able to explore a new region, instead of being pissed that we were back to long distance (which was how our relationship began). We've moved twice since then, so we keep making new lists. Then when we have a free weekend coming up, we can pick something to do without having to brainstorm. We've managed to cross off most of the things we wanted to do when we moved to CA 11 months ago, except for a few bigger trips. I've been wanting to make a second list of date night ideas. Obviously they'll take more planning once a baby is in the picture and we have to arrange child care, but having a list helps me get plans going.
@sammierose464 yep, since I've decided to go med free (semi last minute decision), I will be using a lacrosse ball to help during contractions. Definitely going in the hospital bag, and will be used before we leave!
I just can’t wait until October to get this baby out of me and start feeling like myself again!
Love the list idea! Especially when baby is here it will give us ideas for those times when we do have free time without having to plan. Dating is so important but also so hard when you have a full plate with life, jobs, kids etc
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
We took her to the vet and mentioned all her demolition and they said she was having anxiety when she was left alone so to give her half a benadryl half an hour before leaving so it could set in and give her lots of stuffed animals and toys for her to chew. That helped for a bit and she eventually grew out demolishing the house when she realized they were going to come back, and if they come home to a mess now it's just stuffing from one of her toys.
She occasionally gets into the trash still but what dog doesn't?