Bouncing Baby Check-in (Week of Aug 3)

knottieamusements

This check-in is for October 2018 Babies who are now pooping in diapers and their sleep deprived Moms. 

1) How old is baby; any milestones or brags this week?

2) How are you feeling, Mom?

3) Rants / Raves / Questions?

4) GTKY: What is one regret you have from when you were younger- assuming you still get to the same point in life if you're happy, what would you go back and change/do differently?

knottieamusements

1) How old is baby; any milestones or brags this week?

Max is 13 days old.  He is over three pounds, and found my necklace to pull on for the first time last Saturday.

2) How are you feeling, Mom?

Tired.  I went back to work yesterday, and made it through the day okay, but today has been a different beast. I’m off in fifteen minutes though for an appointment and then to see Max.

3) Rants / Raves / Questions?

Not today. 

4) GTKY: What is one regret you have from when you were younger- assuming you still get to the same point in life if you're happy, what would you go back and change/do differently?

I honestly don’t know.  Even my bad choices have made me the person I am today.  I guess the big thing would have been to leave my marriage sooner, but I don’t think I was ready to do that any earlier than I did.  

princessandthegator

@knottieamusements Yay Max! 3 pounds is awesome, he's going to have a relatively short NICU stay all things considered. That's great news!

How was going back to work? I won't be going back for another week but I'm already trying to plan out mine and Dad's schedule to try and make it over to see the little one while also being an active parent to Mila. That second one is hard. 

princessandthegator

This check-in is for October 2018 Babies who are now pooping in diapers and their sleep deprived Moms. 

1) How old is baby; any milestones or brags this week? Liam is 8 days old today! He got to step done to a different oxygen machine yesterday, so he isn't on the oscillator anymore. They also took down his bilirubin light so he's much more comfy now. His vitals have been really stable for the past week so we just keep praying his NICU stay is this uneventful and he keeps smashing these milestones. They did have to give him another platelet transfusion yesterday and they had to put a picc line in today (apparently the umbilical line e had was only good for 7-10 days, so this is pretty standard for his gestational age), the Dr said that his blood behaves as though I had pre-eclampsia even though I didn't so that was a bit strange but he's so young I'm not freaking out about this. My MIL's cousin had two preemies, one at 26 and one at 28 and she told us they had a lot of transfusions so it made me stress it less. Overall we're celebrating our little warrior this week. 

2) How are you feeling, Mom? Emotional. I've learned in my adult life that I don't really like to feel helpless so to be honest I'm healing pretty quickly from the c section. Aside from the fact that I know I have a huge stitch across my pelvis, I'm up and moving around fine. We went back to school clothes shopping yesterday and I took DH to a dermatologist appt today (he's a big baby for everything and had to have some moles removed), so physically I'm great. Emotionally, I feel very guilty every time I lose it on DD (I think the combination of too much grandparent time, Mom recovering from something she doesn't understand, and terrible two's has her out of control. I feel like I'm scolding her all the time) and I feel guilty not being in the NICU all of the time. My entire days are planned around my pumping schedule because it's the only thing I can do for him right now (and tbh seeing milk makes me feel like my body did SOMETHING right). So that's been my challenge. 

3) Rants / Raves / Questions? Raves for MOST of Liam's nurses. They're so sweet to him and he definitely gets spoiled as the tiniest NICU baby. Except for today's day nurse who kept saying the babies were "misbehaving" when they cried or when Liam's vitals changed...and then scolded me for talking to him through his isolette because she said I should let him try and sleep (though his eyes were open and he was staring at me). It was odd to find a nurse I didn't like. 

4) GTKY: What is one regret you have from when you were younger- assuming you still get to the same point in life if you're happy, what would you go back and change/do differently? I wish I had been nicer to my brother. He was a sensitive kid and he's a sensitive adult and I wish I had made more of an effort as a kid to be understanding to him. We have very different personalities, and I bossed him around a lot and didn't really try to be his friend as much as I should have. I definitely try harder now but he harbors a lot of bitterness from our childhood that I wish I could erase. We became closer as teenagers and adults but still, I hope there's a way I can relay the advice to Mila as my kids grow up so that she can be a better big sister than I was to him (I was the BEST big sister to my sister who is the youngest but we have similar personalities, are the same gender, and I mothered her a lot because of the age difference). Sorry that was really deep lol

jennybean80

@princessandthegator my 27 weeker had a blood transfusion as well. 

sammierose464

@princessandthegator so glad to hear Liam is progressing so well!! Give yourself some slack right now. A lot is going on and it's ok to have your moments. When you snap at DD, just remember when you're calmed down to hug her and show her some attention. At her age it is hard to explain to her what's going on and why Mommy is a little off, but the affection will go a long way. I can't imagine what it feels like to leave your baby at the NICU and wish you could be there all the time. Remember there's only so much you can do there, and as long as you're spending time to bond when you can things will be fine. He's got lots of nurses to love on him it sounds like.

jwebbbber45678

Good to hear the little ones are doing well! Hang in there mamas, soon this will become a memory and you'll have your babies at home with you. Those nicus do wonderful things for babies, they are in good hands! 

knottieamusements

@princessandthegator

The first day back to work was easier than the second.  I think it was a combination of sleep issues and actually needing to get stuff done on the second day.  

I completely understand your other comments. A few thoughts:

1) I have recovered well and quickly from my c-section too.  However, the lack of pain kind of has given me false confidence.  I get a lot more exhausted a lot more quickly than I think I should.  I’m also not one to “take it easy” or let others do for me, which doesn’t help.  

2) I’ve also really struggled the last several days with having nurses for Max that I don’t like versus the ones from the first week that I loved.  I try to separate the ones I don’t like into two categories: (1) they irritate the shit out of me, but they are just doing their job and (2) I don’t feel like they are providing good care to Max.  

I had absolutely no problem talking to someone about the nurse I encountered who fell into group 2.  She didn’t harm Max, but I was genuinely afraid she would make a mistake that would.  For the ones in group 1, I take it on a case by case basis, but I am going to be a bit more willing to call them out for being assholes going forward - I’m still dealing with being pissed off by the last one.  

I’d probably put your nurse today in Group 1, unless I felt like she was ignoring things because baby was “misbehaving.”  I would definitely say something to her about scolding me for talking to my baby.  I understand not taking my baby out to hold, but I’ll be damned if I’m not going to read him a book or tell him about my day.  He is just like any other baby in that sometimes he will be awake, and others he will be asleep.  (That said - sleep is apparently critical for them right now, and if I am doing something unintentionally to keep Max awake, then yeah, I need to be aware and stop that shit.  However, he is quite skilled at sleeping through my blathering on.)

3) Remember that you are post-partum.  Your hormones are completely whacked, like everyone else who just gave birth.  You also have a baby, but can’t be mother to that baby, and, if you are like me, it is driving you slightly out of your mind.  I can’t tell you what might work to help you deal with this- I don’t even know for myself yet.  But you are doing the best you can in an ugly situation- whether it is parenting your daughter, spending time with your son, or making space for yourself.  

rc-cola

@princessandthegator I could have written that same post about my brother except that we are twins. But everything else is very similar. I try not to regret the past and instead just build. My bro is very excited to be an uncle so I’m hoping that will create a new relationship bridge.

Otherwise it sounds like you are both recovering well and that your little ones are growing stronger every day. It’s reallt good to hear these updates. I agree 10000% with knottieA about the two nurse categories. I also think it’s ok to speak up when something rubs you the wrong way even if it’s not harmful to the health of you or baby. The nurse might not even realize they are coming off badly.

missmaehurt

I’m glad to hear Max and Liam are doing so well! @knottieamusements I’m impressed that you’re back to work already! 

eireyes

@princessandthegator try to go easy on yourself when you find yourself beating yourself up at yelling at your DD a bunch. Kids are crazy resilient, and don't remember us at our screaming-lunatic worst; they remember all their favorite parts, which is usually us at our best.