Weekly Mental Health Check In (7.30-8.5)

kayjay44

PurplePoppy424

Hey guys! Things have been tough this week. I’m gearing up for DD starting school in a few weeks and I’m anxious about how she’ll do. DS’s 1yo well visit is Wednesday and I’m anxious about the shots. I’m anxious about if this baby is still hanging in there. I don’t get seen again until 8/16 and that’ll be the NT scan. I’m just anxious all around. 

Has anyone tried prenatal yoga? I’ve considered trying it out to help with stress and keep me moving. 

kayjay44

@PurplePoppy424 - I'd love to try prenatal yoga, but have no idea when I'd find the time for a class or time to do it at home without kids climbing all over me like a jungle gym.

I'm hanging in there. Doing much better after my US last week but I'm nervous AF about the genetic testing results so I'm hoping they come sooner rather than later.

BourbonBiscuits

@PurplePoppy424 with DS I did some prenatal guided meditations on YouTube - you may be able to find some yoga there as well if you’re comfortable doing it on your own!

I think I’m doing better as well. Interestingly after the SCH diagnosis I’ve been much less anxious. I think for me the worst part of anxiety is feeling stupid because I know my anxiety is unfounded. So now that I know I have a legitimate reason to be cautious, I feel less anxious about it. Still waiting until our next check up to shout it from the rooftops though. I still don’t feel connected to this baby either. I know once I start feeling movement that connection will come, but I feel guilty about not instantly being connected the way I was with DS. 

@kayjay44 have they said when you can expect results?

kayjay44

@BourbonBiscuits - It could be any day between now and August 8th.

megpants209

This past week I’ve been doing better. Still feeling sadness here and there but more at peace than anything. I am VERY anxious about my husband being gone for 2 more weeks though. Having him home the past week and a half, he’s really been my rock and the only one who just lets me be without trying to sugar coat everything. I’m hoping the animals are well enough and a friend can keep our pup because I hope to fly out to Seattle and spend the weekend with him. That feels like a stretch though so we’ll see. 

PurplePoppy424

Yeah. Being realistic, anything I do will need to be at home. I’ll have to look up the meditations! Thanks for the input!!

notthecheat

Struggling at the moment. Miserable at work. Threw up twice and split the seam of my pants in the process.

This entire first tri I've been an absolute grump and easy to set off. I try my best to keep my composure for everyone else's sake but it's not enough.

kayjay44

I’m having a really rough mental health day because of work. I haven’t had a day where I’ve worked less than 12 hours in well over a month (and most have been more than that). I’m carrying more than my load and being treated like it’s no big deal while my coworker takes 3 weeks off and works maybe 6 hours a day, while making twice as much as me and getting legs up while I take on more. 

For once, I just want to feel recognized and not like I’m fucking Cinderella before she goes to the ball. 

cassafrass15

@notthecheat and @kayjay44 Thinking of you both.

I had some spotting Monday and my anxiety has been out-of-control, doomsday level since. Blah.

BourbonBiscuits

@kayjay44 that’s super messed up. Is it bad that I kind of hope it all is a mess while you’re out on maternity leave so they realize how much work you do?! I know that’s far off though. I’m sorry they’re being assholes

kayjay44

@BourbonBiscuits - I have a week and a half off next month. As much as I want it to fall apart so they see how much I do, I also know I will have to clean it up when I get back (something my coworker had never had to deal with when coming back from being out). 

BourbonBiscuits

@kayjay44 ugh that’s true. I’m sorry

notthecheat

I'm sorry @kayjay44 and @cassafrass15

I've had a better day today, so I'm in better spirits, but still have that first tri blues

kayjay44

Waking up, I feel better generally, but think work will weigh me down again. 

BourbonBiscuits

@kayjay44 just saw your post in the genetic testing thread - so glad you got your results back!! Hopefully today isn’t too rough at work and you can enjoy the weekend without that specific worry

kayjay44

Thanks,  @BourbonBiscuits - I had lunch 1:1 with my boss today and I feel like a weight has been lifted honestly. So who knows what was going on.

PurplePoppy424

I am a ball of anxiety today and I wish I could shake it. I have my brain all but convinced that I either have ovarian cancer or this cyst is on the verge of rupture. My temp has hovered around 99.1-99.3 for the last week. I’ve still been nauseous, super tired and just all around crappy feeling. For the most part, those are all normal first tri problems. I’ve now had a back ache for the last several days. That isn’t something I’ve ever experienced in first tri. Add to all of that, my creatinine levels came back as low and my protein levels look super low, too. I don’t know wtf is going on. I’m sure this is all easily explained away, but my anxiety brain has myself totally convinced I’m dying. I put a call into the nurse’s line. I really hope they call me back soon. 

etnyah

I’m so sorry @PurplePoppy424. It’s so easy to imagine worst case scenarios! Hopefully you’ll get your results soon, and that whatever it is is easily treatable. Try to get some rest in the meantime, even though it’s hard with your brain working against your sanity! I’ll be thinking of you!

BourbonBiscuits

@PurplePoppy424 that sounds super scary! I would be anxious too. Seconding @grebretso, hopefully you'll get answers back with simple treatments very soon. Not sure if this helps at all, but I've definitely had a weird backache on and off over the past few weeks. Thinking about you

PurplePoppy424

Thanks so much guys. I got the call back late yesterday afternoon. They said the reults were fine and nothing to worry about. It’s definitely because I drink a ton of water. They did go ahead and send in another macrobid prescription because they think I still have a bladder infection. They said that’s probably what’s causing the back pain. So at least it’s an easy fix!

etnyah

@PurplePoppy424 phew! I’m so relieved for you. Hopefully you can get some antibiotics and it’ll go away.

kayjay44

I forgot to post this week - whoops! Next week I’ll make sure I get a thread posted. 

Im really over people. Like really over people. I’m a supreme introvert and get emotionally exhausted easily which causes my anxiety to skyrocket. I just want to stay in bed for the next three days. 

madreofdragons

I was doing pretty damn well until this GD diagnosis. There’s so many rules. I can’t eat anything I actually want to eat, I have to eat when I don’t want to. Trying to keep numbers the way they’re supposed to be with just diet and exercise, but some of it is out of my control. I just really don’t want to end up on insulin and I likely will.

notthecheat

@PurplePoppy424 hope you're feeling better soon!

@kayjay44 I am an extreme introvert myself. Like, cripplingly awkward. I'm sorry. I get it.

@madreofdragons all the rules and managing symptoms of just being pregnant are hard enough, let alone a GD monkey wrench! That's got to be tough, I'm sorry you're dealing with that.

notthecheat

MIL keeps asking to keep DD overnight every other Saturday and instead of being grateful I'm resentful that she's taking DD time from me. That guilt led to a sobbing meltdown at work about how I'm not able to be the kind of mom I want to be for DD, especially while pregnant, let alone this kid once he/she shows up.

I carry tons of guilt and poor self-worth with me all the time and it's getting old and I don't know how to just believe in myself and magically not feel guilty about everything.

kayjay44

I’m feeling better after a horrible OCD incident last night. 

TW - I had this horrible feeling at work and the entire time I was coming home that I would come home and find out my kids had died. Then I spiraled hard until I passed out at 10 PM. 

I fucking hate OCD. 

notthecheat

Hugs @kayjay44

etnyah

I had the weirdest thing happen, no idea if this is common or not. It probably is, since our brains seem to be working against us for reasons unknown.

Despite some nervousness right before my NT scan, pretty much since my first US at 9 weeks I’ve felt relieved and positive this is all going to work out. I’ve slowly announced to friends, family and work over the past few weeks and it’s been nothing but positive experiences. However, today I announced on Facebook and at a family reunion, and all of the sudden I have this insane feeling that I’ve made up the entire pregnancy and there’s nothing in my uterus. Obviously baby is there, but I feel like I just tricked the whole world into believing I’m pregnant, and I’m sweating over how to explain to everyone that I just did this whole crazy and irrational thing and I feel really terrible about it. What the hell is wrong with me? Anyone else had this happen?

kayjay44

@grebretso - I’ve felt like this every time. It goes away when it starts seeming more real - you feel movement and legit have a bump. 

BourbonBiscuits

@grebretso same here. With my first as soon as I announced I was convinced I would lose him, this time I’m convinced it’s a phantom pregnancy. Even though I saw baby on US Friday. 

conchispita

@grebretso same here. I’m having a mini gender reveal with close family tonight and feel anxious about it because I haven’t felt anything in a while, and anxious that the NIPT test results were wrong. I just keep telling myself to carry on until my next appointment, which is an eternity away.

Edit: hit post prematurely 

madreofdragons

It’s kind of the same stupid brain thing that convinced you that you were pregnant if you were 12 seconds late even as a virgin teenager. 

etnyah

Thanks for the reassurance, everyone! I figured it was common, it’s just so stupid. I guess I’ll just have to wait to feel normal again - or I guess find some sort of new normal.

ohsunnydays

That feeling creeps up for me, too. I’d like to think I’d feel better if I could feel movement, kicks, etc- can’t I just get an US whenever I want to?!? In trying to assure myself, I told my husband yesterday “telling people will not harm the baby.” Had to repeat it a few times. 

thechickendance

I had that feeling yesterday, walked into Motherhood Maternity, did an about face and left because I felt like a complete impostor, right now I think everybody (pregnant or not) looks more pregnant than I do.  We have only told people that we've seen in person and work doesn't know yet, partially due to that thought of 'we can't tell everyone, what if it isn't real!' 

conchispita

Sooo does anyone have any fetal heart monitor recommendations?  Freaking out a bit here and bad at following my own advice...

kayjay44

@conchispita - I have a sonoline B

conchispita

Thanks @kayjay44 ordering from Amazon right now...