March 2019 Moms
knottie503e9b9df5eb86ec
member
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Loss of Nausea
knottie503e9b9df5eb86ec
member
I have been extremely nauseous/had extreme food aversions to pretty much all food in general and had trouble getting myself to eat for the past three weeks. (This is what prompted me to take a test in the first place) But as of this week I am actually hungry, eating more and feeling far less nauseous. I know I should be thankful but i’m Finding myself scared that something might be wrong if pregnancy symptoms are not as pronounced as before... Had anyone ever experienced this?
i’m 7w2d. First OB visit/ultrasound is next week.
i’m 7w2d. First OB visit/ultrasound is next week.
Re: Loss of Nausea
George (3)
I recommend calling your doctor if you're concerned. Or google. This is an extremely common concern, and it can be answered with a five-second google search rather than posting and waiting for a response.
Even I have googled things but have still come on here to see if anyone else is discussing it or wondering about it.
I understand informing them that they don't need to start another thread about it, but some people are new to this, give them a break.
I'm certainly no fan of complete board organization to the point that there can't be a single stand-alone thread, but the thing is we do have two other places (symptoms and the questions thread) this could have gone without making two separate threads on this topic.
Also, when it comes to actual medical questions, I direct people to research actual medical advice through searching google and then call their medical professional if they're concerned. The fact is, if you google this, you get a lot of results saying it could be a miscarriage and some that it could be nothing. So far, the two previous posters have said it's no big deal (and I'm not calling you two out! I think your advice is fine) and no mention of the possibility it could be a miscarriage. People saying it could be nothing, or "oh, you're miscarrying" doesn't change the facts of what's actually happening. And I worry when people ask for and then people give specific medical advice that posters could be dissuaded from calling their medical pro when it's warranted because no one on here knows the nuances of their situation. So yea, I'm not a fan of threads like this and don't think they're appropriate.
Personally, I don't think the community is here for medical questions. I think it's for asking about the best stroller to get and how people are dealing with adding another sibling and general ways to deal with symptoms and morning sickness.
I’m part of March 2019 & I plan to be a supportive member if I choose to continue using this app. But for all the put downs I see it really makes me question whether I want to read/experience the negative responses all the time. And just FYI, for everyone who will shun me for this post, others have sent me private messages saying they used this community years ago and it was great, now it’s a whole other beast entirely where rules dominate and rudeness is the norm. If we are going to be a Birth Month CLUB I hope we lighten up on each other and extend some grace to mamas who are still learning the ropes n
When I first started lurking this app, I also thought a lot of the snark was rude and unnecessary and I was intimidated to join the community in case I *gasp* broke any of the rules. But as I stuck around and got a feel for the community, I began to understand why there are such responses. It takes a lot of work and energy to create a community, even an online one of complete strangers. And it can get exasperating very quickly when there are too many one-off posts from people who don't even care to check back in to see the responses their post procures. This user posted the same question twice and didn't even bother to respond to either one - I doubt she cares enough to be hurt by any snark. If she is hurt/intimidated, we welcome her to introduce herself in the intro thread, and go ahead and give us a piece of her mind here. We are all big girls, I think we can work through little hiccups like this.
That said, @keikilove @indigoheightsblog, I am sure you are not the only ones who feel this way. This BMB is a community built by all of us, with all our varying ideas and approaches, and your contributions could help shape the group into one that you envision as more inviting and supportive. Might I suggest jumping in and assisting with starting the regular threads (the FTM thread keeps getting forgotten for example) and welcoming newbies?
(Edited for spelling error)
There are plenty of other sites and apps that are all about answering and asking questions from random strangers. The Bump isn’t one of them. If people want support, following established norms isn’t that much to ask.
I’ve seen several posts over the last 2 months that say it isn’t for asking questions or starting unique threads. So, maybe I’m missing something. Can someone clarify how they see the purpose of this app? Thanks.
The Bump isn’t a traditionally a place for random people popping in starting their own threads with questions that only pertain to them. What is great about TB is the bonds that are created by truly building a community and relationships within it. A board with thread after thread of random, repetitive questions does not foster closeness. That isn’t about conversation or support.
Yes, you can start unique COMMUNITY threads. Let’s chat! Post a GTKY post.
The guidelines are pretty broad. They simply say:
-Check to see if a thread has already been started on your topic or question so we can avoid too many threads of the same topic
-Post a thread that would apply to the entire community and doesn't fall into one of the categories for daily threads listed below (Ex: what to pack in your hospital bag, baby gear, etc)
There are going to be A LOT of people here and if everyone posted every thought they had in a separate thread, we’d never find anything. It’s that old metaphor of does it matter if one person throws a rock into the Grand Canyon. Probably not, but if you encourage it and it becomes the norm and everyone does it then it ruins it for everyone.
Thats not to say don’t post anything ever. We as a group have started some great regular content: FTMs, STM+, a teacher check in, randoms, symptoms, UO, FFFC, lots of great GTKYs... if you see one you want to post in that hasn’t been created yet this week, by all means take the initiative to start it. I think that anyone time anyone has voiced a desire for a new thread or checkin it’s been supported. Someone randomly started the name thread, for example.
But there’s a difference between that and someone starting a thread all about themselves (not once but twice) and not even returning to say, “hey thanks for your response, that makes me feel better” which would make it a conversation and not a yahoo answers page.
could it be that these people are looking for responses but they don't even realize they are getting them? i don't think anybody would go out of their way to post on the bump message boards if they "didn't care" to check back for responses....... what good would that do them? i just think that these "one-offs" are met with such hostility. i understand that for you guys it's the 500th one-off..... but for the person writing it, they don't realize this... they probably don't even realize they're doing something "wrong"..... they are not intentionally trying to hit a nerve with you guys, so certain people on these threads need to consider changing their tone to something more supportive and inviting. We need to remember that a one-off doesn't even realize they are a one-off.
Also... who cares?! I have been on this for over a month now and I personally have never not once been "irked" by a one-off post... in fact I'm intrigued by them. So I'm trying to wrap my head around why everyone gets so irrationally angry when they happen. Apologize for the long rant, but I've felt this hostility every single day for the last month (whether towards me or towards others) and it's really made me consider switching to another platform. I hope things shift soon, because there are some folks in here that I really enjoy chatting with! Thanks for your explanation and I hope you can understand where we are coming from as well.
I DO get what you’re saying and how it could be upsetting to someone who is new, but I think that happens to a lot
of people on TB at first as they learn the community norms and then they go on, get in a groove, and find amazing friends and conversations.
There are weekly FTM check-in, due date week check-ins for people at the same phase as you, and the questions/symptoms threads are there too! I think what you are wanting is here. I mean, Randoms is even a great place to vent about what new anxiety being freshly pregnant has seized you with.
I sincerely hope this becomes an increasingly positive & supportive place for *anyone* who posts. No newbie should have to go through a “hazing” phase to decide if they want to stick around. It really is a turnoff.
My last Unpopular Opinion (yes I know this is in the wrong place! Lol!) I don’t buy into hormones being a valid excuse for bad behavior. If you wouldn’t send a snarky response at work or put it in an email to your friends, why subject other preggie mamas to it? Thanks!
The reason the seasoned folks don’t do it is because they’ve already been corrected and learned from their mistakes. I know I’ve been corrected before and here I am!
Also- I really, really should have been napping. Great, what have I done now???
I’ve been around a few years—I think I joined in 2004, when I was just a wee baby myself, shortly after my first son was born, and when we were contemplating a 2nd child. So I feel the need to provide a little bit of historical perspective on TheBump, as well as a brief summary of my personal opinion, in the unlikely event that anyone cares to hear it.
Things about TheBump that may be relevant to this discussion—
1. TheBump used to be downright feral. Even up until 2013, ish was crazy. People were meeeannnnn. There were ticker and GIF landslides, y’all. I got tired just looking through one thread, because sometimes I thought people were being perfectly reasonable for being bitchy toward a one-off poster, and sometimes I felt tempted to defend somebody who seemed to have simply wandered into the fray at the wrong time. Confusing, exhausting, etc, it was all fairly arbitrary, and like many other pregnant ladies, my own responses depended upon my mood at that particular moment in hormonal time. (And Ramzi was everywhere, like a plague of locusts o’er the land.). God knows, I’ve made accidental random intro posts as recently as 2015, because I seriously forgot that people like it better when you post to the designated intro thread.
2. Then, the Ban Hammer reared its ugly head; someone administratively decided that every last woman on TheBump was way too much of an asshole for her own good. So then, if you were kind of mean to anybody or made a mean face to anybody’s cousin’s mom, a whole bunch of people would report you, and you’d get banned permanently from the site. Major pendulum swing in policy. I saw someone get banned for making an (admittedly terrible) joke about her yet-unborn child’s junk, even though she was highly apologetic and clearly saw the error of her ways. Major, major pearl clutching. This was also a very sad and confusing time, because people who were legitimately hilarious (snark is one of life’s necessities) and had actually behaved somewhat reasonably (irritation with random posters who had no investment in the group emotionally) were forced to take their ball and go home, never to be seen again (or, more realistically, they just moved to Facebook or whatever).
3. Which brings us to the current era of more moderate Bumping. I don’t know what it would take to get yourself banned from this place, but I would like to avoid finding out, and try not to make any controversial jokes about the size of my fetus’ peepee. I also don’t know what it would take to miraculously encourage people to read the “READ THIS FIRST” sticky type instructions, or to lurk before posting stuff that would be best solved by asking one’s doctor (or at the very least, Dr. Google).
My Humble Opinions (AKA Springer’s Final Thoughts)—
This is not a perfect platform for informational purposes OR emotional support, nor is it perfectly organized in a way that any single one of us is going to be 100% satisfied with. I just ended a sentence in a preposition, for instance.
Let’s take care of each other, and strive to be kind, rainbow-barfing, “better angels of our nature” mamas we’d all like to be. Because pregnancy is hard. Early pregnancy is crazy-hard. People sometimes post stupid sh*t that would be much better filed away under another thread. If a pregnant lady walked into a roomful of other pregnant ladies at a potluck and said or did something dumb (either because she didn’t read the invitation closely enough to realize that she should have brought a dish to pass, or because she is charmingly self-absorbed), we wouldn’t dogpile on her or point her to the door. We would inwardly eyeroll and try to get to know her a little.
“Take care of yourself, and each other.”
George (3)
Now if only I could insert Prayer Hands & all the Clap Hands emojis. Amen, sister!
George (3)
I think this may be another “tone is difficult to read in text” situation.
Asking you to change it right away is more of a “Hey, please distinguish yourself from 10000s of others so we recognize you and get to know you”, not an attack.
this is my 5th pregnancy after two recent losses, and I was panicking, feeling anxiety about this situation I posted about...
i am new to this app (my previously used one doesn’t exist anymore), and especially to this forum style thread thing. I find it really confusing and not user-friendly, so if I really take the time I might figure out how to use it I guess... I didn’t know how to find my previous post and never received notifications that anyone responded so thought maybe it didn’t go through. Needless to say that judging by a majority of the first responses that I received, being far more worried about the “rules” and user protocol, with a very uncaring tone rather than listening to another woman who is generally scared does not inspire me in the least to continue using this app. At least for the community aspect.
I wish you all the best and healthy pregnancies- just thought some honest feedback might be helpful before I bid this farewell.