TDaP and Flu vaccines - grandparents — The Bump
3rd Trimester

TDaP and Flu vaccines - grandparents

Hi everyone! I am 34 weeks pregnant with my first child. My doctors have told me that anyone who will be in close contact with the baby should get the TDaP vaccine and the flu vaccine. They recommended TDaP now and flu shot come October (since he'll be born in either late August or early September- if he's late). My parents and brother have readily agreed and gotten TDaP. They always get the flu shot since we are all teachers and constantly around kids. My husband's family has been more resistant. They are choosing not to get the flu shot. They say it can actually make you get the flu. I'm really upset by this because I want to protect our son, but I don't want to alienate family, especially his grandparents, from seeing and holding him. Since he will be an August baby and will be old enough to get his own flu vaccine in January, is vigilant hand washing enough or should I stand my ground? I want to do what is best for the baby but I know that I cannot make anyone do anything with their body that they do not want, nor would I want to. Any advice would be amazing! Thank you :)

Re: TDaP and Flu vaccines - grandparents

  • We only asked family who would be spending a lot of time around the baby to get their tdap boosters.  Since our families live several states away, anyone that was going to be visiting for an extended period of time got their booster shot for tdap before they came.  It lasts 5-10 years so they only had to get it for our first baby.

    Generally your baby cannot have a flu shot until 6 months, and even then they will only give a half dose and make you come back for the other half a month later.  By the time your baby is that old flu season will be about over, so the doctor may not recommend it.  My kids are in daycare so we all get the flu shot every year.  My baby is also due in late august.  If you expect family to stay with you during flu season, or of they are providing your every day child care, I'd ask them to get the shot.  Otherwise I wouldn't worry about it.  Though it is pretty stupid to not get the flu shot for that particular reason (the vaccine doesn't contain the live virus, so it is actually impossible to contract influenza from the shot), it is their decision if they want to risk getting the flu.
    Me: 37 DH: 37
    Married 5-31-14
    DD1 born 6-21-15
    DD2 born 6-11-17
    DS born 9-5-18

  • This was not something my providers ever talked about. Now that I have seen this recommendation discussed online, I don't see it as a big deal. We never even considered asking other people to get updated shots. We didn't ourselves. 
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  • This was not something my providers ever talked about. Now that I have seen this recommendation discussed online, I don't see it as a big deal. We never even considered asking other people to get updated shots. We didn't ourselves. 
    This 100%......same here
  • nackienackie member
    I’m due early September.  We’re asking that every one that will have frequent contact with baby and any out of town visitors get both. If they’re not willing to do that, then they can wait until baby is old enough to be fully vaccinated. You can be contagious with the flu before you feel sick and it can be fatal for infants. It’s not worth the risk for me. 
  • With our first we asked everyone who was going to help early on to get the tdap. It’s recommended for them to get it at least 2 weeks before they are around baby in order to get the full benefits. We didn’t worry too much about others get the flu shot because it was April and they already got those on their own. Ultimately it’s your decision and you should stand by what you want for your child. 
  • I can’t tell you what’s right for your family, but I know personally I would stand my ground on everyone getting fully vaccinated before being around my newborn, even for a short time.  It’s a myth that you can get the flu from a flu vaccine.  It does not contain a live virus.
    Me: 31 DH: 31
      <3 DS born 6/2017, became a heart angel 8/2018 <3
    CP 3/2019
  • Agree with PP that it's a myth you can get the flu from the vaccine. However, as an alternative mom never gets the flu shot anymore. Anytime she has in the past she's had a horrible reaction to it and ends up very ill (I have witnessed her reaction). I'm not saying she got the flu from the vaccine, it wasn't the flu (even she knows that, she herself is a nurse), but her body doesn't tolerate the vaccine for whatever reason. If they have reason to believe or past experience proving they react badly, I wouldn't force them to get the shot. 

    I was due in March with DS and didn't force anyone to get the shot. This time I'm due in December and probably still won't force anyone, but I will get it myself and will also have DS get it since he's in daycare. I never had any issues with DS (2 now) getting the flu, even this whole year when it was particularly bad and we never actually made it out for him to have the shot...I say definitely have people wash their hands thoroughly before holding baby, especially if you're out in public, otherwise personally I wouldn't force anyone who's unwilling to get the shot. Maybe just limit time/exposure to those people if you're just going to be worried the whole time. 
    DS1 born 2/28/16
    DS2 due 12/12/18

  • My parents who are around my older child and will be around this baby refuse to get the flu shot. They both have bad reactions so they say. I cannot force them to get them and since my mom is our daycare i am between a rock and a hard place. Thankfully this one isn't due till April and it will be less of an issue but i understand the annoyance. I would say that if your in-laws won't be around the baby that often then diligence with hand washing and staying away if they don't feel right is about as much as you can do. Also have you tried having your DH talk to them and try to explain?
    this is my backup acct.
    prevously helloblueeyes

    Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014 
     BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
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