Long story short, I will NOT be inviting my MIL to our baby shower. I wish she was more family-oriented but it’s just not the case and she won’t be in my child’s life unless she can get her act together. My question being, what kind of an excuse can I give my side of the family? I don’t want them to know our family drama but I know they’ll ask. I’m inviting a lot of other people from his side and I’m also a little worried they might mention our drama to my side if asked.
Longer story, if interested: MIL always plays the poor me act. I come from a wealthier family. She does not, and so she feels uncomfortable around my family- mind you, they do everything possible to make her feel included and welcome. But you can only do so much. She’s not accepting of me or my family and thinks we’re not a good match for DH. Now add to that, she did the same thing to FIL side of the family and had a big falling out. FIL was a pushover and it all went her way, where they never talked or associated with FIL’s side of the family. I like FIL’s side of the family but they won’t be caught in the same room as her. I obviously don’t blame them. I’m still in the process of trying to create a stronger relationship with them but I get the vibe it’s hard for them to disassociate DH and I from her. She told other people that she didn’t like me, etc.... she went had her first kid out of wedlock (and broke up an existing marriage) at a young age. When FIL passed away, she went off the deep end and started doing drugs and drinking a ton. She got a new bf soon after FIL’s death- the woman doesn’t know how to be alone. She’s just overall not a good person, lied about everything and after initially trying to be a good DIL to her and constantly being rejected and always getting fake smiles, I’m sick and tired of it. I don’t want to deal with the drama.... did I mention her step son went through a similar thing for his wedding where it was picking sides- her or FIL’s family and when he picked her, she ended up high on cocaine, drunk and punched the bride. Got the cops called on her. She doesn’t have any respect for anyone she deems to be on a different socio-economic class than her. I think she just assumes that we look down on her and so hates people she doesn’t even know. I don’t want to deal with her in any shape, way or form.
What excuse can I make to others regarding her absence?