You'll never (fill in the blank) again — The Bump

You'll never (fill in the blank) again

One thing people love telling newly pregnant women: "Oh, congratulations! HA! You better ____ now because you'll never do it again!"

Fuck them. What's something people told you you'd never be able to do after having kids that you still enjoy doing in your spare time (because YES, spare time still exists, even if in smaller amounts, for parents) or do with your kids?

And this is something I just hate. Like you can't be a mom and still have other interests or hobbies. Guess what, everyone? I'm still Lindsay. I'll be Lindsay until the day I die regardless of what other roles I take on. I love being a mom and I'm proud of it but that's one facet of my identity, not my full identity.

Re: You'll never (fill in the blank) again

  • My big one is travel. People know W and I love to travel and they loved to rub it in that we'd have to stop and stay home now. Um, we don't. Sure, the way we travel has altered, but damn it, we still do it frequently. We just have to accommodate our child which we do happily. We're raising our son to love travel, too.
  • @wishiwaspreggo we did a big European cruise this summer and it was a blast. On the train into Rome however there was some lady that told her older daughters "don't worry, you can just drop your kids off with me when you want to travel."   Bish, we chose to bring them with us?! And it was a fantastic trip. DD is still asking if we can go back on vacation.

    A lot of people told me I'd never sleep, but DD is a great sleeper.
    DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
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  • @meggyme Yes, kids can be great travelers if you bring them along and just make sure their needs are met! I want my son to love traveling and exploring. I can't do that if we stay home all the time.

    And yes to the sleeping - people told me we'd never sleep again all the time. I was a mess during my third trimester and literally falling asleep in meetings at work (so embarrassing) and everyone kept saying "Just you wait, it gets soooooooo much worse with a newborn." Naturally, that was upsetting and I started dreading the birth. As soon as I pushed the placenta out of my body I felt like someone waved a magic wand and I came back to life. I think it was the hormones. Anyway, I was fretting all the time over maternity leave waiting for my cherubic little sleeping newborn to turn into a beast but it never happened. He just slept. I bought and prepared a ton of freezer food so I wouldn't have to cook. I spent 3 months sitting on the couch, pumping milk, holding the baby, and watching Netflix. Even now that he's 3 years old he still takes 2-3 hour long naps and sleeps 9-10 hours at night. And when he's asleep there's no waking him. Clothing changes, diaper changes, moving him from one room to another, putting him in the car or taking him out... nothing. It's great now but I worry when he starts school lol
  • @wishiwaspreggo in the hospital they warned me about babies not sleeping the second night and that we should probably plan to take turns staying up and holding her. So I stayed up with her as long as I could stand to keep my eyes open before giving her to DH to put in the bassinet, where she slept for a few hours until she was hungry. Definitely not every hour like they had made me fear. I can only hope this next one is nearly as good of a sleeper.
    DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
  • Keep me posted! As I TFAS I worry about the next one being fussier and harder to please than my first. DS was such an easy baby. He just wanted milk and sleep, at least until he was 3 months old. But even after that he just enjoyed flailing around, cooing, and playing with his toys. My mom said my brothers and I were all the same (easy from the get-go) so I'm keeping my fingers crossed. But I babysat my nephew a week ago and I was sooooooooo ready to hand him back to my sister-in-law. He cried the entire time and we couldn't figure out what to do to soothe him. So stressful.
  • @wishiwaspreggo As we TFAS I worry about the same thing!! DS was/is such an easygoing kid (granted, he's not in the throes of toddler hood just yet - 14 mo)! He is pretty easy to figure out. Rarely cries for no reason.  I have a feeling that we might not be as blessed with #2. Maybe #2 will be even easier because they have #1 to entertain themselves? lol. We'll see I guess!

    People always said we wouldn't be able to travel. We successfully didn't explode when we took DS @ 9 months to Europe (2 cities! 12+ hour flights!) and @ 11 months to Hawaii.  Sure his first flight ever was a sh*t show because of a 3+hour delay on the tarmac that caused us to miss our connecting flight...annnnnnnd did I mention he was diagnosed with an ear infection less than 12 hours before we left? Super fun! We planned for a more "relaxing" trip, and only had one "must have/see/do" planned per day and we rolled with the midnight parties he threw in his crib when he refused to sleep for 2 hours. I love that we have pictures/memories of him in Europe! He's so cute in his little carrier and I know he'll love looking at the pictures when he's older.

  • @lilly91613 - Starting them young! That's awesome! Babies and kids are so adaptable. We do all the same things we enjoyed before having our son, we just enjoy it WITH him :) it's silly to leave your kids out of things like that. We love eating out at our local brewpub with DS because they serve his favorite dish. It's a really garlicky macaroni and cheese (kid loves garlic) and we've been taking him there to eat whenever we want to go to a restaurant. He knows how to be polite at restaurants now and is happy to sit and eat with us. He gets antsy towards the end of the meal but really, for a 3 year old he does great. It's a matter of socializing them. 

    And now that DS is a little older he really loves our adventures. It just gets more fun as time goes on! I have friends who are hardcore campers so they bought baby camping gear and still go on their excursions. I wish we'd stop telling new parents that children require 100% sacrifice. It just makes people anxious and dampens the joy of pregnancy IMO.
  • Preach @wishiwaspreggo!! lol. There are a few things we have cut back on and only do when Grammy/Nana watches our little guy (mountain biking/golfing are the big ones), but we have changed some of the activities we do now.  Instead of mtn biking we go for a hike together, and we take a lot of walk/runs around our neighborhood now.  We shifted our expectations and we are able to enjoy similar activities.  I think it's so great that you take your son with you to the brewpub! Also, that mac&cheese sounds soooooo good!! 

    What are some of your adventures?  We like to go to the zoo. The penguin exhibit has a little glass viewing window that the penguins can walk right up to. My son loves being so close to them!
  • DS loves the zoo, too! Our local zoo does a summer concert series and we go with my parents. He loves dancing with the other kids (they usually all go to the front to dance to the music). I take him to the pool over the summer (he loves swimming) and we go hiking, boating, festivals/carnivals, concerts, outdoor movies, kids events/activities at the community center, and he loves going to the library. And of course we go to the park a lot. In the winter there a few indoor play places I take him to. There's a really awesome place an hour's drive away that has a big indoor play center. It's worth going out there when it's the dead of winter. There's a soda fountain restaurant I take him to for dinner afterwards where they have really tasty burgers and ice cream sundaes. Honestly, all these things are way more fun when you have a kid with you :)
  • We are trying to teach DS how to dance.  He doesn't really get it yet, but he does love shaking/throwing his musical instruments around.  My MIL is teaching him how to march.  She marches around the house singing "This is how we march" and DS follows her. She gave me a snippet of it before I left for work today.  SOOO CUTE! We've been exploring indoor play places, too. I get a little scared sometimes because some of the "jungle gyms" have "no adults" signs and I worry that DS is going to get stuck and need my help. He's still a little peanut, but he loves exploring and climbing! 

    Last weekend we took DS to a park that has a ride-on train and he had so much fun! It was the first time I had ever ridden on that train.  DH has ridden so many times as a kid, so I know he got excited to share the same thing with our little guy.

    I totally agree with you about the whole everything is better with a kid thing.  I love going to the freakin' grocery store now because it is so much fun to watch DS see people and smile at them, and take things that I give him and throw it in the cart. Kids are the BEST!!
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