Help staying strong for my Wife (TW:Lose Mentioned) — The Bump
Dads & Dads-to-be

Help staying strong for my Wife (TW:Lose Mentioned)

Trigger Warning: Lose Mentioned

Hello,

Where to start? I guess I should first say I'm a hopeful Dad to be and am looking for some help. My wife and I have been trying for several years now, and due to a genetic disorder I have, we've gone through numerous IVF cylces. Last year after numerous IVF cycles we were excited to find that we finally had a positive test, though the numbers were quite low. The Dr. made us aware and we proceeded with cautious optimism. We decided after 6 weeks, which happened to fall on Christmas, that we would tell our Parents and Siblings.

We got some custom announcement cards to surprise everyone as we opened gifts and all was right with the world. Fast forward two days and my Wife awoke to some pain and other events that followed, omitted for privacy and respect for others here. We visited the Dr. the following morning and they confirmed our fears. We had lost the pregnacy. Saying we were in a state of devistation would be putting it lightly. I did all I could to be there for her and "stay strong" as it were. I never really took time for myself to cope, but I managed. I still want to talk to someone, but we'll get to that.

We spent the next few months trying to find our bearings and decided that we wanted to try again, this past May. This time around, the test was overwhelmingly, nearly off the charts positive. Appointments came and went for the past two months. Now, today my Wife called to tell me that she had some bleeding today and she's called the Dr. for a morning appointment tomorrow. This hit me like a boomerang. All the pain from last year hit my gut and I practically crumbled at work before excusing myself. I'm almost 37 and I've wanted to be a father my entire adult life.

With all the above being said, what I'm looking for here is advice. I am my Wife's rock and want to remain as such. How do I both be there for her, protect her, but at the same time, take time for myself IF we receive bad news tomorrow? I've dealt with a lot in my life, but this breaks me and I need to keep it together for her. At least until she's ok enough where I can handle me.

Finally, since Pregancy is an obviously more female centric topic, where can men find help? I've tried, and everything just keeps pointing me back to resolve.org to literally a single peer group about 45 mins from my home. Thank you in advance for any help you can provide.

With fingers crossed and prayers in my heart,

A hopeful Dad.
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