21 weeks pregnant: feeling image conscious and struggling with changing body

chasinghiromi

Hi November moms-to-be,

I'm 21 weeks pregnant (due Nov 29!) and my bump is just starting to show. As joyous as this time has been for me and DH, I feel I'm really struggling with accepting my changing body and struggling with self-image.

I'm in between the awkward phase of "I'm not obviously pregnant" and simply look like I had a big lunch, and that I'm carrying extra pounds around my mid-section. My coworkers all know that I'm pregnant, and they've been commenting on how they can see my bump, and even catch them looking in the corner of their eye. This really bothers me, and I find myself trying to hide my growing belly with baggier clothes (all my regular clothes are starting to not fit me well, which has put me in a bit of a slump.)

Please don't get me wrong - we're very excited about our baby and I'm really excited to finally feel him/her (still TBD on gender) kick for the first time! I've never been a very image-conscious person other than trying to stay fit/healthy, but I feel this is really hitting me emotionally.

Do any other future moms feel this way? Is this normal?

lurvleybunchococonuts

chasinghiromi said:

Hi November moms-to-be,

I'm 21 weeks pregnant (due Nov 29!) and my bump is just starting to show. As joyous as this time has been for me and DH, I feel I'm really struggling with accepting my changing body and struggling with self-image.

I'm in between the awkward phase of "I'm not obviously pregnant" and simply look like I had a big lunch, and that I'm carrying extra pounds around my mid-section. My coworkers all know that I'm pregnant, and they've been commenting on how they can see my bump, and even catch them looking in the corner of their eye. This really bothers me, and I find myself trying to hide my growing belly with baggier clothes (all my regular clothes are starting to not fit me well, which has put me in a bit of a slump.)

Please don't get me wrong - we're very excited about our baby and I'm really excited to finally feel him/her (still TBD on gender) kick for the first time! I've never been a very image-conscious person other than trying to stay fit/healthy, but I feel this is really hitting me emotionally.

Do any other future moms feel this way? Is this normal?

QFP

Hi OP!  Just a couple of things.  First of all, I see you're new here so please make sure (if you haven't done so already) to read the post pinned at the top entitled **Read First** Board Organization.  It goes over some general guidelines/rules/regarding how things flow around here.  Also, please feel free to introduce yourself in our "Introduce Yourself Here" thread!  We have a number of on-going threads, feel free to take a look at them and jump in on some of the conversations so we can get to know you!

As for your question, I imagine there are some ladies struggling with this, and I certainly don't think it's abnormal.  Our bodies are undergoing some amazing and drastic changes.  You mentioned wearing baggier clothing and that your normal clothes are no longer fitting.  Have you tried getting some maternity shirts or a belly band that might help smooth out any curves and show more of a bump and less like you just had a big lunch?  

For the record I don't think there's really any way to get others to stop looking at you.  Hopefully you can keep in mind that I doubt they have any ill-intentions mentioning your growing bump or looking at it.

I'm a bit at a loss for advise because I'm fully on team "embrace the bump" and flaunt it while I have it so I can't really relate (which I know that isn't helpful for your situation).  I hope someone else is able to offer some better insight.  My only real advise is to be kind to yourself and keep in mind you're doing something amazing... you're growing a human being!  

bswishe4

I know this can be a struggle and I am not small to start with so I do have extra pounds already. I found that wearing my maternity clothes which highlight the bump make me feel way better. When I wear my regular clothes that fit awkwardly I do not feel as good. My regular clothes fit I just don't think they look as good. And I think they way they fit helps people realize its a baby bump and not tacos from lunch ;0 

msb11182018

I have bought a couple shirts from Motherhood Maternity that actually say "Due in November" or other cute mentions to the baby. I find it makes me more comfortable wearing these to run errands around town because it announces to strangers that may be wondering, that yes I am pregnant not just carrying more weight in my stomach. Its really none of their damn business but I feel less judged, especially being a plus sized mom.

mamachameleon

I have found that wearing maternity clothes helps me embrace the bump. Im somewhat fluffy without being pregnant so the growing middle section has caught me awfully self conscious. Just try to keep your focus more on that incredible miracle youre creating and what an awesome system your body is to be able to grow and sustain another life. It really is awe inspiring! 

offtoneverland

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I don't have a ton of advice, but I notice people, even strangers, looking at my belly all the time. Most people just LOVE anything and everything about pregnancy, so they only look at your belly because pregnancy excites them and they're just curious. Try and remind yourself that people are just happy for you and that's the only reason they're looking at your belly. No one (at least good, kind people) will judge you for how your belly looks during pregnancy. 
Agree with everyone else that you should pick up some nice-fitting maternity clothes. If you aren't able to splurge on them, go to a consignment store and get some new clothes for cheap. It's amazing what a nice fitting shirt will do to your bump! Personally, I love the maternity pants that go over the bump because I feel like it helps shape it a bit better so it looks nicer on me.
Like others said too, try to think of the wonderful miracle you're growing right now. You've grown all those bones, muscles, and organs, all by yourself! Isn't it just incredible? 

DnSil

I feel the same way! I feel annoyed that people no longer look at my face. I’ve been wearing looser fitting maternity clothes, cardigans or looser pre-pregnancy clothing. I also get sick of people asking how I’m feeling all of a sudden. I know they care and are curious, but some days I just want to be me, not just a baby vessel

emjohn517

Before this pregnancy I had just lost my previous baby weight, so seeing the scale creep up is tough for me. But truly I feel really feminine being pregnant. Maternity clothes definitely helps.

another thing I can say, it’s that this is all temporary. Honestly once that baby comes no one cares about mom or gives you a second look, it’s all eyes on baby lol. Our bodies are going through incredible lengths and that means stretching and growing. 

chasinghiromi

Thank you so much everyone. I have some hand-me-down maternity clothes but I haven't worn any of them yet, as I didn't think that I was quite "ready". Perhaps I am, especially as I'm feeling like this!

I have to constantly remind myself that my body is doing extraordinary things. I'm also not a natural "motherly" type, and I feel I'm lacking some maternal instincts which may be causing me to think this way, but that might be a whole different topic... I'm really hoping that I'll "click" with my baby when s/he is born!